保佑哈特

I think I got it.
有罪
外婆 我在看《未解之谜》的维♥基♥百♥科♥ 粗面粉盒子扼杀者
Gram, I'm on the Unsolved wiki, and the Grits Box Strangler's been
已经在南卡罗莱纳的监狱里服刑15年了
sitting in a jail in South Carolina for 15 years.
可惜我们不能就这么去找他
Too bad we can't just talk to him
问他是否记得克丽丝托琳
and ask him if he remembers Crystalynn.
外婆
Gram?
韦恩 我知道你为什么带我来这里
Wayne, I know why you brought me here,
不过成功不了的
and guess what, it's not gonna work.
-因为你忘了带上这个 -什么
- 'Cause you forgot to bring this. - What?
各位 餐厅求婚了
Hey, everybody, it's a restaurant proposal!
他要向她求婚
He's gonna propose to her!
不过拿出戒指的是她
Except she's the one that put the ring down.
时代不同了 兄弟 时代不同了
Different times, brother. Different times.
-谁统治世界 -女生
- Who run the world? - Girls!
你们为什么不坐在一起
Why can't you guys sit together?
-你们都是一个人在吃 -坐一起
- You're both eating alone. - Just go sit together!
珍妮 你拿这个干什么
Jenny, what are you doing with that?
这到底是不是订婚戒指
Is this or is this not an engagement ring?
这是我奶奶的戒指
It's my meemaw's ring.
她把它给我 因为她害怕
She gave it to me because she was afraid
汤米叔叔会卖♥♥掉它或者吃了它
Uncle Tommy would sell it or eat it.
所以你从没打算向我求婚
So you never intended to propose to me?
好 我坦白
Okay, sure, I'll confess.
曾有那么一刻 我确实想求婚
There was a point when I did want to propose,
但我知道不行因为你对婚姻有成见
but I know I can't because of your thing about marriage.
所以问题出在我这了
Oh, oh. Oh, so I'm the problem?
我阻止了你追求幸福
I'm the one standing between you and happiness?
我没那么说 我只是
I didn't say that. I just...
我知道你不想结婚
I know you don't want to be married.
为什么人人都觉得我不想结婚
Why does everyone think I don't want to be married?
因为你在多个场合上有说过
Because you've said so on multiple occasions.
也许我会改变主意
Okay, well, maybe I'm changing my mind.
那好 你想结婚吗
Okay, then. Do you want to get married?
-我不知道 你想吗 -我想
- I don't know. Do you? - I do.
好 那我们就算订婚了
Okay, well, I guess we're frickin' engaged.
我想是的
I guess we frickin' are.
你们还在等什么 蠢货
Well, what are you waiting for, dummies?
为我们鼓掌
Clap for us!
怎么了
Hey, guys. What's up?
维奥莱 好消息 我们刚订婚了
Hi, Violet. Great news. We just got engaged.
是啊 我们要结婚了
Yeah. We're getting married.
感觉我遇到了一个很酷的情况
This seems like a cool situation I've walked into.
酷毙了
Oh, it's the coolest.
我等不及开始筹划婚礼了
I can't wait to start planning the wedding.
因为没人能对我说我对婚姻有意见
'Cause no one's gonna tell me I have issues with marriage.
我准备好现在就开始筹划
I'm ready to start planning right now.
-除非你想等 -不 为什么等
- Unless you want to wait. - Nope. Why wait?
你知道你在做着
When you know you're doing
你该做的事 对吧
exactly the thing you're supposed to do, right?
我们走 韦恩
Let's go, Wayne!
夏卡巴蒂大夫
Hey, Dr. Chakrabarti.
韦恩呢
Oh, hey. Where's Wayne?
韦恩 我知道她现在有点疯癫
Wayne, I know she's a-real ca-razy right now,
但为什么你也配合着她
but why are you going through with this?
我不要成为那个说
I'm not gonna be the one to say
我不想结婚的人
I don't want to get married.
因为到时 永永远远 阿门
Because then, forever and ever, amen,
我就会是那个不想结婚的人
I'm the one who didn't want to get married,
珍妮休想怪在我头上
and Jenny is not putting that on me!
你有差点掐死这女人吗
Did you ever almost strangle this woman?
难说
It's hard to say.
我刚开始掐人的人
When I first started strangling,
我的眼窝很小
I had the eye holes way too small.
有次我不小心掐了一根拖把
Once I accidentally strangled a mop.
她声称就在你准备
She claims she started praying
掐死她之前她开始祷告
right before you were about to turn her lights out.
她们几乎都这样
Well, they all kind of did that.
多谢你了 粗面粉盒子傻蛋
Thanks for nothing, Grits Head.
我现在叫凯文了
I just go by Kevin now.
我改过自新 我真的努力从头做人
I'm a changed man. I really worked on myself.
我开始吃药 在图书馆工作
I got on meds. I work in the library.
我还知道所有人的生日
I know everyone's birthdays, too, yeah.
我是生日小哥
Yeah, I'm the birthday guy.
听上去以前的你更有趣
Sounds like you were more interesting the other way.
时间到了 凯文
Time's up, Kevin.
我去
Holy munchkin!
你激动吗 明天就是他生日
So, you excited? His birthday's tomorrow.
贝蒂 如果你在屋里的话 你吓不到我
Betty, if you're in here, you can't scare me.
恐怕你在《未解之谜》节目里
I'm afraid the tall tale you told Unsolved Mysteries
讲述的关于粗面粉盒子扼杀者的荒诞故事
about the Grits Box Stranger came up...
有缺陷 我跟GBS小小地谈了一番
short. I had a little sit-down with the GBS,
"小"是关键词
"little" being the operative word here.
你故事里的一些细节
Let's just say some of the details
需要加强[升高]
of your story need to be heightened.
有话快说 蠢货
Spit it out, dummy.
他是矮子 超级矮
He's short. Short as hell.
完全就是霍比特人
A total hobbit, y'all.
也就是说我们绝不可能在你90年代初期的蓬松头后面
Which means there's no way the real GBS would've been seen
看到真正的GBS
behind your early '90s bouffant.
你找了别人在头上套上那盒子
You got someone else to put that box on his head
然后筹划了诱拐
and stage the abduction.
好吧 整件事都是我编的
Okay, fine. I made the whole thing up.
我只想见到罗伯特·斯坦克斯
I just wanted to meet Robert Stacks
看看那风衣之下是什么
and solve the mystery of what was under that trench!
你会跟谁说
Who are you gonna tell?
我也许会跟别致美甲店的李冰说
Oh, I just might mention it to Binh Ly at Fancy Nails.
无所谓 我根本不去那
I don't care about that. I don't even go there.
但你知道谁会去吗 洛瑞塔·迪克斯
But you know who does? Loretta Dix.
不在乎
Don't care.
她会和罗妮·安·路易斯顿一起购物
Who goes mall walking with Ronnie Anne Lewiston.
毫无意义
Means nothing to me.
-她跟莱翠丝·比斯利在同一个读书俱乐部 -没听过
- Who's in a book club with Latrice Beasley. - Never heard of her.
她跟诺琳·布里克斯一起玩匹克球
Who plays pickleball with Noreen Blix,
我相信她平时去你的教堂
who I believe goes to your church.
不能告诉诺琳
Not Noreen!
该死 贝蒂 开个价吧
Dammit, Betty, name your price.
我也许能想到让我封口的东西
I might could think of something that would keep me quiet.
如果你对你刚才所看到的打屁♥股♥
If you have any information about the butt-whooping
有任何信息的话 请随时联♥系♥我们的工作人员
that you just saw, our operators are standing by.
妈 你去哪了
Mother, where have you been?
我去南卡
Oh, just down in South Carolina
跟一个连环杀手面对面交谈了
having a face-to-face sit-down with a serial killer.
这里什么情况
What's going on here?
没什么 就是韦恩和妈妈
Oh, not much. Just Wayne and Mom
陷入了懦夫博弈
are locked in a stupid game of chicken
最终将促使他们结婚
that will result in them being married.
没有 我们深爱对方
No. We are deeply in love.
这样社会就不会把我们当做怪胎了
And so society won't brand us total freaks,
我们要结婚了
we're getting married.
别担心 维奥莱 她肯定不会结的
Don't worry, Violet. She'll never go through with it.
这位对婚姻有很大的成见
This one's got big-time marriage issues.
他们肯定连日期都没定
Bet they haven't even set a date.
有人说我们没定日期吗
Um, did somebody say we haven't set a date?
-今天几号♥ 因为那就是日期 -今天
- What's today's date? 'Cause that's the date. - Today?
怎么了 韦恩 不想结婚吗
What's wrong, Wayne? Don't want to get married?
想
No, I-I do.
大家穿上鞋
Everyone put your shoes on.
我们要去法♥院♥
We're going to the courthouse.
所以没人要问我
So I guess nobody's gonna ask me
罗伯特·斯坦克斯的风衣吗
about Robert Stacks' trench coat?