保佑哈特

我和维奥莱要去走遍所有球场
Me and Violet are gonna go hit the links.
天啊 我永远看不够这些疯狂的名字
Oh, my Lord, I can't ever get enough of these crazy names.
"推喉岛" "南推平洋"
"PuttThroat Island"? "South Putt-Cific."
"推尔和推德推险记"[比尔和泰德历险记]
"Putt & Putt's Puttcellent Puttventure"?
这个他们肯定没拿到许可
No way they got permission for that one.
我的天 妈 快看
Oh, my God, Mom, look.
天呐 迷你高尔夫巡回赛
Oh, my Lord, a mini-golf tournament?
是的 这个运动越来越火了
Oh, yeah. This sport's gotten huge.
没人能搞清是讽刺地火还是真的火
No one can tell if it's ironically huge or just huge.
我对你也是这种感觉
That's my whole thing with you.
但是奖金是真的
But the prize money is real.
第一名能得到八百块
First place gets $800.
妈 你完全可以拿到
Mom, you could totally win this.
天 这次旅行可能不仅仅是不亏不盈
Oh, my Lord, we might do more than break even on this vacation.
我们也许还能赚到钱
We might make some money.
默特尔海滩太神奇了
Oh, Myrtle Beach is magical.
这些人总是用同一个剧本
These guys all use the same playbook.
第一步 眼花缭乱
Step one, the razzle dazzle.
你激动吗 因为我激动死了
Are you pumped? 'Cause I am pumped.
醒醒
Snap out of it.
别关注这个分时度假方扎雷利
Do not pay any attention to this time-share Fonzarelli.
他们调动起你的情绪 你还没反应过来
They get you hyped up, and before you know it,
你就把这辈子都签没了
you're signing your life away.
双眼专注于那美景
Now just train your eyes on that beautiful view
-别受他们影响 -明白
- and don't let them in your head. - Got it.
专注美景
Focus on the view,
不要看那个拥有滑板车
not the super cool guy who has a hoverboard
以及我想要的一切的帅哥
and probably everything else I want.
是这里面太明亮吗 还是因为这是我们的未来
Hey, is it bright in here, or is that just our futures?
让气氛更亲密一点
Let's make it a little bit more intimate, shall we?
我嘞个去
Well, I be damned.
这人挺专业啊
This guy's a pro.
大家好 我叫克雷格
Okay, hi, everybody. My name is Craig.
骗人
That's a lie.
欢迎来到默特尔海滩
And welcome to Myrtle Beach.
这里是不是很神奇
Isn't this place magic?
我靠 气球魔术
Oh, hell no. Balloon magic?
他紧跟最新潮流动态
He's got his finger on the pulse.
记住 真正的魔术
Just remember, the real magic trick
会将你和你的钱分开
is separating you from your money.
别担心 我理智得很
Don't you worry. I got all my wits about me.
我的天 他要吞掉那气球吗
I... Oh, my God! Is he swallowing that balloon?
我是说 扰乱心智
I-I mean, psych.
这个好弱智啊
I find this dumb.
就是个愚蠢的魔术
Just a silly magic...
完全吞下去了吗
Is it completely gone?!
谁在乎啊
I-I mean, who cares?
我完全不想知道
I'm not even remotely curious
他是怎么让那气球离开我们的次元的
how he could make that whole balloon leave our dimension.
我是迷你高尔夫频道的蒂姆·卡普
Tim Cupp here with the Mini Golf Network.
今天天气很好 各位
Well, it's a beautiful day for mini golf, folks.
这项运动的顶尖选手都齐聚一堂
The giants of this sport are all here
当然也来了很多临时球手
and, of course, so many walk-ons.
今年会有不知名选手颠覆这运动吗
Will this be the year an unknown upends the sport?
我是珍妮·哈特
I'm Jenny Hart.
我大概是临时球手吧
I'm a walk-on, I guess.
哟哟哟 这位女士一定是迷路了吧
Well, well, well, this little lady must be lost.
这是高尔夫巡回赛
This is a golf tournament,
不是《欲望都市》观剧派对
not a Sex and the City viewing party.
我的天 连不需要力量的迷你高尔夫里
Oh, my God. There's seriously sexism in a sport
都存在性别歧视吗
as non-strength-dependent as mini golf?
波 让她试试吧
Now, Beau, let's let her try.
我是古斯 我设计了这个球场
Hey, I'm Gus. I designed this course.
从没有女人赢过 更别说临时球手了
No woman has ever won it, let alone a walk-on.
无意冒犯 但女人玩迷你高尔夫的时候 她们总会失去专注
No offense, but when females play mini golf, they lose focus.
她们满脑子
You know, they get all up in their heads
都是自己有多少钱
thinking about their pocketbooks
以及《欲望都市》的剧情
and Sex and the City episodes.
她们的心理太脆弱了
Their minds are too weak.
幼童也玩这项运动
Toddlers play this sport.
你们用娃娃铅笔记录比分
You literally write your score down with a doll pencil.
我要报名第一洞的一杆进洞
Just put me down for a hole in one on the first hole.
行啊
Yeah, right.
现在我要讲讲一些严肃的事了
Now the time has come to talk about something serious.
他要开始向我们展开情感訴求
He's about to hit us with the emotional appeal.
他会猛拔你的心弦
He's gonna yank so hard at your heartstrings,
-你的屁♥股♥都能感到震动 -放马过来吧
- you'll feel it in your butt. - Bring it on.
家庭 心 情感
Family. Heart. Emotion.
乐趣 爱
Fun. Love.
这里那些人爱他们的家人
How many people here love their families?
我 我爱我的家人
I do. I love my family.
宝宝 动物
Babies. Animals.
动物宝宝做朋友
Baby animals being friends.
天 我的屁♥股♥已经有感觉了
Oh, Lord. I'm feeling it in my butt.
我得阻止这一切 我有个问题
Oh, I got to stop this. I have a question.
这要花多少钱
How much does this all cost?
这个
Well, um...
现在我处于统治地位
Now I'm in the driver's seat.
价格
Price.
这是个分量很重的单词 价格
That's a big word, price.
我们来谈谈价格吧
So let's talk about prices.
钱 美元
Money. Dollars.
医疗费 需要花钱的东西
Medical. Things that cost.
你们哪些人喜欢星巴克
Hey, how many of you guys like Starbucks?
我 我喜欢
I do! I love it.
你每周在咖啡上要花多少钱
But what do you think you spend on coffee every week?
五百 六百
$500, $600?
如果你能把喝咖啡的钱
Now, what if you could take that coffee money
用来打造真正的回忆呢
and use it to build real memories?
因为只需每天花21杯咖啡的钱
Because for the price of just 21 coffees a day,
你就能拥有一个幸福家庭 属于你自己的
you could own a happy family. Yours.
妈 你领先了15杆
Mom, you're 15 strokes ahead.
-八百块是你的囊中之物了 -维奥莱 记得这些吗
- You're gonna win that $800. - Violet, remember these?
请让我给咱们买♥♥同款项链
Please let me get us matching necklaces
就像你小时候那样
just like when you were little.
"你是百万里挑一"
"You're one in a million."
天 这些好俗
Oh, my God. Those are so cheesy.
-我喜欢 -你看 你又这样
- I love them. - Okay, now, see, there it is again.
-其实你很讨厌 -不 我刚说我喜欢了
- So you hate them? - No, I just said I love them.
我知道 但是你的语气
I know, but that tone.
你能信任我说的话吗
Can you just trust my words?
这位女士在试珠宝
Little lady's trying on jewelry,
但她应该为最后一洞做准备
but she should be getting ready for the final hole.
老娘生来就准备好了 波
I was born ready, Beau.
据我所知 我领先你很多
And, last time I checked, I was kicking your butt.
别太骄傲 亲爱的
Don't get too cocky, hon.
最后一洞很难 对吗 古斯
The last hole is a killer. Isn't it, Gus?
我专门设计的
That's how I made it.
要不你们就在一旁观看吧
Hey, how about y'all sit this one out?
我不想要女人又哭又闹
I don't want all the female stomping and crying
毁掉我的人造草皮
to damage my Astroturf.
我不会有事的 古斯
Oh, I'll be fine, Gus.
我要先买♥♥完珠宝
Just gonna finish buying our jewelry
好待会儿夺冠后拍照美美的
so I can look all pretty in the winner's photo.
项链多少钱
How much for the necklaces?
一条三块
Oh, they're three dollars each
或者一万五的街机票
or 15,000 arcade tickets.
先生们
Gentlemen,
欢迎来到有史以来最难的一洞
welcome to the hardest hole ever designed.
"不可战胜的B洞"
"The Invinci B-hole."