保佑哈特

So you better get yourself down
著名的绿点万圣节大桥派对
to the Famous Greenpoint Halloween Bridge Party, y'all.
看看我们请来了谁
And look who we have to talk all about it:
我们的韦伯市长
our own Mayor Webb.
对着话筒说 亲爱的
Talk right into this, honey.
今晚是一场盛大派对
Yeah, tonight's the big party
我们要颂扬我们传奇的搭便车幽灵 莉迪亚
where we celebrate our legendary hitchhiking ghost, Lydia.
莉迪亚
Lydia? Well...
今年是最后一次举办大桥派对 是真的吗
Now, is it true that this is the last year for the Bridge Party?
-对着话筒说 -是的
- Talk into this, right here. - Yes.
什么 珍妮
What? Jenny!
很不幸 大桥处于
Unfortunately, the bridge is smack-dab in the middle
311号♥高速路改扩建范围的中♥央♥
of the site for the new Highway 311 extension.
下周早些时候将进行爆破 所以一定不要错过
Demolition begins early next week, so don't miss it.
关掉 关掉
Turn it off. Turn it off!
外婆 你还好吗
Hey, Gram, you okay?
那是埃德的遗愿
It was Ed's dying wish.
什么是埃德的遗愿
What was Ed's dying wish?
把他的骨灰撒在大桥派对上
To have his cremains spread at that Bridge Party.
罐子里装的就是这个
That's what's in that container?
我以为是以前的奶油糖果
I thought it was filled with old butterscotches.
等等 这是他的遗愿 你认真的吗
Wait, that was his dying wish? Are you serious?
很认真
As a heart attacked.
你就把爸爸的骨灰放在壁炉架上
And you've just left Daddy sitting on the mantel?
-它一直在我的待办清单 -整整13年
- It's been on my to-do list. - For 13 years?!
我想着这是不急 骨灰又不会变质
Well, I didn't think there was a rush. Ashes don't go bad.
妈 这太扯了
Mother, this is crazy.
我们今晚就得去撒
We got to do this tonight. Come on.
今晚 我要做一件
Tonight, I'm gonna do something
我很久前就该做的事
I should've done a long time ago.
该让爸爸自♥由♥了
It's time to set Daddy free.
我和埃德需要独处一下
Me and Ed need a minute, y'all.
妈 告诉我
Oh, Mother, please tell me
你不会是要舌吻那罐子
you're not gonna tongue-kiss that urn.
珍妮 走开
Jenny, shoo.
妈
Mother!
无意冒犯 珍妮 但在你♥爸♥爸骨灰消失前
Well, no offense, Jenny, but I'm not stepping foot
我是不会再踏进你家
back in your house until your daddy's cremains are G-O-N-E.
韦恩 这可是我爸 别这么刻薄
Wayne, you're talking about Daddy. Don't be so mean.
这事不容易 别这么胆小怕事
This mess is hard. Stop being such a fraidy-cat.
抱歉 我真不会说话
Sorry, I'm just saying all the wrong things.
我的天
Oh, my God.
我还是觉得你打扮得更像是琼·里弗斯
I still think you look more like Joan Rivers.
不 我是达瑞·霍尔
No. I am Darryl Hall,
埃德的骨灰酷似奥茨[约翰·奥茨 和达瑞·霍尔是一个组合]
and Ed's cremains are the spitting image of Oates.
看着像饼干罐上爬了一只毛虫
Looks like a caterpillar on a cookie jar.
别对你♥爸♥爸或者奥茨不敬
Do not disrespect your father, or Oates.
埃德的派对怎么了
What the hell happened to Ed's party?
我听说跟以前不一样 但这个
Yeah, I heard it wasn't what it used to be, but this?
这简直比火柴盒二十乐队
This is some next-level boring-ass
还要无聊
Matchbox Twenty bullcrap.
好吧 掌声有请傻笑裤子三号♥
Okay. Let's have a big hand for The Giggle Pants Three!
大家好 万圣节快乐
Hello, everyone, and happy Halloween.
是的 宝贝们
Yes, my babies!
今天是万圣节前夜
It's All Hallows' Eve.
或者我该说 撒旦的生日
Or should I say, Satan's Birthday?
-呸 -闭嘴 兰迪 -这不是撒旦的生日
- Boo! - Shut up, Randy! - It's not Satan's birthday!
兰迪 别闹
Randy, please.
我刚才在说 万圣节快乐
As I was saying, happy Halloween!
我们今晚为你们准备了很多乐子
We have a lot of fun planned for you tonight.
有幻影照相亭 恐怖游戏
There's a phantom photo booth, ghastly games,
如果你睁大你的眼睛
and if you keep your eyes peeled,
你也许会看到幽灵莉迪亚
you might just see Lydia the ghost
分发免费牙刷
handing out a free toothbrush,
由绿点牙科赞助
courtesy of Greenpoint Dental.
还有什么比在
Ugh, is there anything lamer than
万圣节之夜谈论口腔卫生还无聊的事吗
talking about dental hygiene on Halloween night?
有一个脊柱侧凸检测亭
There's a scoliosis testing booth.
还真有
Well, there it is.
就这些
And, uh, that's it.
万圣节快乐 开始派对吧
So, happy Halloween, and let's party!
但是别太吵 我们就在老年中心旁边 声音会传开
But not too loud. We are by the senior center and sound carries.
-传开 传开 -这简直是噩梦
- Carries, carries. - This is a nightmare.
好了 再往前走可就没有回头路了
Okay. We are currently at the point of no return.
边境之外是幽灵 女妖 鬼魂的世界
Beyond this border lies a world of specters, banshees, wraiths.
僵尸 魔法巨怪
Zombies, magical trolls.
不高兴的幻影 长着德古拉牙齿的爱抱怨的独角兽
Disgruntled apparitions, grouchy unicorns with Dracula teeth.
-影行者 -中年男人
- Shadow walkers. - Middle-aged men
穿着卷边牛仔短裤 袜子和凉鞋
in hemmed jean shorts, socks and sandals.
我的天 我们能赶紧开始吗
Oh, my Lord. I-- Can we just get on with this?
我同意来这的前提就是快去快回
I only agreed to come here if we get it done quick.
今晚没有幽灵能给我梳头
No ghost is gonna brush this hair tonight.
万圣节快乐
Happy Halloween,
来自花生酱和
from peanut butter and...
说吧 丹尼尔 告诉他们你是什么
Go ahead, Daniel, tell them what you are.
他知道的
He knows.
他犯傻而已 他是果酱
He's just being silly. He's jelly.
因为爱我是他的果酱
It's 'cause loving me is his jam.
你是不是这么说的 丹尼尔
Isn't that what you said, Daniel?
是的 他今早跟我说的
He did. He told me that this morning.
我以前并不喜欢这派对
You know, I didn't used to like this party,
但既然现在这么枯燥 我们可以好好玩了
but now that it's dry, we can have good clean fun.
对吗 丹尼尔
Right, Daniel?
她刚是说"枯燥"吗
Did she just say "Dry"?
看样子我们要去下一个活动了
Oh, well, looks like we're heading off for the next thing.
丹尼尔 等等 傻蛋
Oh, Daniel, wait up, you silly.
没有花生酱 果酱根本没意义
Jelly doesn't make any sense without peanut butter.
我永远不会再吃花生酱果酱三明治了
Ugh. I'll never eat a PBJ again.
我们去干正事
Now, let's get down to business
-开始撒爸爸的骨灰吧 -不行
- and start spreading Daddy's ashes. - No way.
我们不能把爸爸的骨灰撒在这金粉集♥会♥上
We can't spread Daddy's ashes on this solid gold dud-fest.
永远待在壁炉架上也比这派对有趣
All eternity on a mantel is more fun than this party.
我们不会这么对你的 埃德
We're not gonna do this to you, Ed.
-来 我们走 -等等 我知道
- Come on, let's get out of here. - Hang on. I think I know
该去找谁 可以把这无聊的派对
just the person who can turn this snooze-a-palooza
变成埃德华丽演出
into an Ed-stravaganza.
布兰达进攻
Brenda attack!
来吧
Let's do this!
布兰达们 下车
Brendas, roll out!
我们要开始派对了
We got a party to start! Whoo!
骚修女布兰达 骚新娘布兰达
Slutty Nun Brenda. Slutty Bride Brenda.
骚警♥察♥布兰达 骚骚货布兰达
Slutty Cop Brenda. Slutty Slut Brenda.
我们上
Let's go!
布兰达们 成扇形散开 毁灭他们
Brendas! Fan out and lay waste.
收到
Copy that...!
好了
Okay, now!
-太棒了 -没错
- Hell yeah! - That's right!
这才像样
Oh, now we're cookin'.
撒播日快乐 爸爸
Happy Scatterday, Daddy!
布兰达
Brenda...!
真开心终于见到你了 珍妮
It's so nice to finally meet you, Jenny.
你和布兰达们拯救了这场派对
You and the Brendas really saved this party.
我喜欢这套装扮
And I'm loving this costume.
我是伊芙
Yeah, I'm Eve.
初代骚货
The O.G. Slut.
猜猜我从哪搞来的僵尸果汁
And guess where I got my Zombie Juice.
蛇的体内 你可以从头或者屁♥股♥喝
In the snake. You can drink from the head or the butt.
任你选择
Dealer's choice!
爸爸肯定会很开心看到我从蛇屁♥股♥里喝火龙威士忌的
Daddy would have loved me drinking Fireball out of a snake's butt.
给我
Give me that!
珍妮 希望你不介意