黑色星期一

Black Monday S01E02

Part 3 March 17, 2020, 12:43 p.m.

这家伙连怎么被整都不会
This guy can't even get pranked right.
这货就是一傻♥逼♥
He's a fucking idiot.
你才是傻♥逼♥ 基斯
No, you're a fucking idiot, Keith.
-你被炒了 -搞毛啊老板
- And you're fired. - Oh, come on, boss.
你也想被炒吗罗尼
Oh, you want some of this, too, Ronnie?
如你所愿你也被炒了
Guess what. You're fucking fired, too.
收拾东西滚蛋
Get your shit and get out.
-但是你都来参加我婚礼了 -布兰特
- But you were in my wedding. - Right, Brandt?
这不叫"表面朋友" 这叫"表面生意"[娱乐圈]
Ain't called "Show friends." It's called "Show business."
等等我们又不在娱乐圈里
Wait, we're not in show business.
基思你没有在任何圈子里
You're not in any business, Keith!
赶紧给老子滚
Get the fuck out of here.
韦恩亚西尔赶紧把那垃圾股脱手
Wayne, Yassir, dump that F.A.T. ASAP.
布莱尔给老子面壁去
Blair, face-fuck the wall.
-马上就去 -布兰特
- On it. - Hey, Brandt.
我们到办公室谈怎么样
Let's take this in the office. What do you say?
如果还有谁
Anybody else embarrasses me
让我在我的电影导演前难堪
in front of my fucking movieographer,
你们就搬去布鲁克林住吧
you're gonna be living in Brooklyn.
赶紧解决
Fix this shit.
是的我有一支股票很适合你
Yeah, I've got quite the opportunity for you.
今早真是够乱的
Oh! What a morning.
需要我帮您推荐什么吗
Can I help you find something?
不用谢谢我好得很
Uh, no, thank you. I'm fine.
需要我帮您推荐什么吗
Can I help you find something?
不用谢谢我好得很
Uh, no, thank you. I'm fine.
这可是香奈儿五号♥哦
Ooh, Chanel Number Five.
比让内特香水可高级多了是不是
That's a lot better than Jean Naté, am I right?
不过要两百五十刀
But $250?
简直太疯狂了姐们
That's just crazy, girlfriend!
能帮我推荐一下吗
Could you help me find something?
去你♥妈♥的♥ 你瞎吗
Motherfucker, really?
哪只眼看到我胸前挂名牌了
You see a name tag on my titty?
等我找到是哪个混♥蛋♥干的好事
I'm gonna find whoever the fuck did this
我非要把他的屁♥眼♥
and shove more titanium up their ass
捅到爆裂不可
than RoboCop's boyfriend.
听着我觉得这肯定只是个误会好吗
Look, I'm sure this was just a misunderstanding, okay?
他人在这呢
There he is.
那啥我们去楼上谈这事吧
Oh, uh, you know what? Let's deal with this upstairs.
等等你说什么
Wait. What? Wait. What?
基斯你个娘娘腔混的还好吗
Keith! What's up, queef?
-你俩认识吗 -是啊
- You guys know each other? - Yeah!
我们以前是同座呢
We used to share a desk
不过后来基斯逊爆了就走人了
till Keith quit 'cause he sucked.
总之联邦联合钛业的订单是个恶作剧
Anywho, turns out that Federal Allied Titanium order was a prank,
所以我还是认为
so, uh, I'm gonna have to insist
你应该买♥♥回那些股份
that you take the shares.
-这样才合理 -成交
- I-it's only right. - Done.
换你的算法
For your algorithm.
把算法给我我以三块五每股全部买♥♥下
You give me that, and I'll take all the shares at three-point-five.
这股票缩水缩得厉害啊
Ooh, F.A.T. is tankin'.
肯定是有人知道
Somebody must've shorted it
你们狂买♥♥一百万股所以故意做空了
when they found out you were have a million-share fire sale.
不过这是内线交易
But that's insider trading.
在这我们只称之为"交易"
Down here we just call it "Trading."
他是真傻还是装傻
Is he for real?
你♥他♥妈♥就把股份买♥♥下来吧泰勒
Just take the fucking shares, Tyler.
-拜托 -否则会怎样
- Come on. - Or what?
会把你愁到秃顶吗
There'll be hell "Toupee"?
你小子赶紧把算法给他
Kid, give him the fucking algorithm.
-赶紧的 -不可以我很抱歉
- Let's go. - I can't. I'm sorry.
我们再想想别的办法好让你复职
There's got to be another way to get your job back.
等一下
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
基斯莱因为这点破事被炒了吗
Keithleen got fired over this?
我都不知道今天还能找到更多乐子
I didn't even know that this day could get any fucking better!
大爷的帅呆了简直是出糗盛宴
God damn, this is cool, like a McDLT.
我是说你可以嫌这股票臭的跟狗屎一样
I mean, you could call it a dog-shit stock,
我也可以打电♥话♥给你老婆
or I could call your wife,
给她讲讲你带你家保姆
tell her all about that trip
偷偷去打胎的故事
you and your nanny took to sunny Bora-bortion.
-你还记得吗 -三块一毛二分五厘吗
- You remember that? - Three and an eighth?
得了吧老兄你当这是《大发亨财》吗
Come on, man, this isn't Let's Make a Deal.
我又不是蒙提·霍尔
I'm not Monty Hall.
我们这又不是在拍游戏节目
We're not being filmed in front of a live studio audien--
蒙提·霍尔美国电视游戏节目《大发亨材》主持人
不不我知道你听明白了
No, no, I get that you get that.
也许你在搞你家保姆之前
Maybe then you should've thought of that
就该好好想想这个问题
before your adventures in babysitters!
-我们跌了六个点了 -怎么会这样
- We're down six figs. - How did this happen?
先是跌了五个点然后接着跌呗
Well, we were down five figs, and then we lost more figs.
消息传出去了大家都在做空
Word is out. The whole floor's short.
如果这样一点点脱手的话
We're gonna lose the entire four mil
我们得赔光这四百万
if we keep trying to unload it piece by piece.
听着我们唯一的指望就是
Look, our only hope is to dump it
一次性把存货甩到某个大客户头上去
into one of our big clients' accounts all at once.
可是只有道恩手上有这么大的客户
But Dawn is the only one with accounts that big.
操我们要赶紧告诉老蒙
Fuck! We're gonna have to tell Mo right now.
不过我们要是在那个小编剧面前告诉老蒙
But if we do it in front of Hollywood Square,
我们就凉透了
our asses are grass.
你看那个
Check it out.
我来跟你说说那回我跟艾米利奥·艾斯特维兹
Let me tell you about the time I got into a bidding war
艾米利奥·艾斯特维兹美国演员
让·米歇尔·巴斯奎特美国艺术家
竞拍一幅巴斯奎特游艇的事
with Emilio Estevez over a Basqui-yacht,
游艇的表面是让·米歇尔亲自画的
which is a yacht entirely muralized by Jean-Michel.
厉害吧
How about that?
艾米利奥·艾斯特维兹布莱尔可以演他
Emilio Estevez. That's a great idea for Blair.
-老板 -怎么了
- Hey, boss! - What?
你记不记得你说所有关于交易的本领
Um, remember how you told us that everything you learned
你都是从Run DMC那里学的
about trading, you learned from Run-D.M.C.?
他们刚出了首新单曲我跟你说
Well, they just released a new cassingle, and let me tell you,
我觉得这首歌♥特别适合当你的电影当原声带
I think it would be the perfect song for your movie soundtrack.
亚希尔你故意惹我是吧
Yassir, you are really fucking trying me.
你现在一定要听一下
You got to hear it right now.
厉害厉害非常有创意
Oh, y-yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fresh.
-我能听听吗 -不行但是你猜怎么着
- Can I hear it? - No, but tell you what--
我们不如先休息五分钟
why don't we take a little five to cool off?
稍后我们继续采访无缝衔接
And we're gonna get right back in perfect harmony,
就像《黑檀木》杂♥志♥和伊万·瑞特曼一样合作愉快
like Ebony and Ivan Reitman.
一百万股
A million shares?
厉害坏了我辞职才一个小时
Classic! I quit my job an hour ago,
你就已经需要我把你从屎坑里拽出来了
and you already need me to get you out of some shit.
不什么叫"需要" 我可没提过这个词
No. "Need"? I did not say the N word.
顺带提醒你一下是我炒了你
And by the way, I fired you.
我辞的职是我辞的职不是
I quit. I quit. No--
赶紧去扭转局面道恩
Yeah, run it back, Dawn, I--
-出什么问题了吗 -需要为二位推荐什么吗
- Is there a problem here? - Can I help you find something?
没错是有问题
Yeah, there is a problem.
这位总喜欢发疯
This one always loses her shit,
然后我们一天之内就会和好
and then we make up in about a day.
但我们现在没有一天道恩所以这样吧
But we don't have a day, Dawn, so here's what we're gonna do.
这些裤裙每条都来一件
Give me one of each of these skorts
-大小要四码 -二♥码♥
- in a size four.- Two.
然后那面墙上所有高跟鞋都来一双六码的
Then give me that whole wall of pumps in a six,
你还喜欢长裤套装吗道恩
and you still fuck with pantsuits, Dawn?
-我爱它们 -基本上我看到的所有东西都要
- Yeah, I love them. - Basically everything in my field of vision
为了让这位了不起的女性回来工作
so that we can get this wonderful woman back to work.
-鬼扯 -不不不
- Bullshit. - Oh, no, no, no.
我坚持我坚持
I insist. I insist.
好的
Okay.
就当我向你赔罪
Consider it my apology.
为什么赔罪