黑色星期一

Black Monday S01E07

Part 1 March 17, 2020, 12:44 p.m.

黑色星期一
第一季第七集
《黑色星期一》前情提要
Previously on Black Monday ...
我看到了一些乔治纳的文件
I came across some Georgina documents.
我觉得也许以前
Yeah, I think that maybe we purchased
我们买♥♥过一些乔治纳的股份
some Georgina shares back in the day.
天啊
Oh, my God!
你们他妈是谁
Who the fuck are you?
-我们是证交委的 -我们会联♥系♥你的
- We're with the SEC. - We'll be in touch.
我们收到了一些针对蒂芙妮的威胁
We've had some threats, uh, with Tiffany,
自从卡尔文·克莱恩的女儿被绑♥架♥后
e-ever since Calvin Klein's daughter was kidnapped.
老蒙和我在很久之前约会过
Mo and I dated a very long time ago.
老蒙该死
Mo! Damn it.
就这样吗你要留下来和他在一起
So this is it? You're gonna stay here with him?
为了今天我费尽全力因为我爱你
I tried everything to make this work because I love you.
你到底愿不愿意结婚
Do you even want to get married?
他们不是警♥察♥ 他们是演员
Those aren't cops. They're fucking actors.
布兰登每年都会演一集试播集
Brendan books a pilot every year.
道恩我现在好困惑
Dawn, I'm really confused right now.
离黑色星期一还有122天
离黑色星期一还有65天
不管我今晚喝成什么样
So no matter how drunk I get tonight,
叫醒我因为你要记住
wake me up, because remember,
我们明天早上九点要去下城区见我的家人
we're meeting my folks downtown at 9 a.m.
去看看上西区的那套公♥寓♥
to look at that apartment on the Upper West Side.
提醒我一下上西区和上东区
And remind me, what's the difference
有什么区别
between the Upper West and the Upper East?
我妈在我小时候编了一个顺口溜方便记忆
My mom made up a mnemonic device for me as a kid.
"上西区西边是最好的
"Upper West, West, West is best, best, best.
上东区东区是犹太人的"
Upper East, East, East is Jewish."
离着这么远脱毛膏能烧到我的眼睛吗
Is Nair supposed to burn my eyes from this distance?
没错宝贝
Yeah, baby.
蒂芙我最近工作干得很不错
Tiff, you know, I've been doing really well at work lately,
我们可以自己买♥♥一座房♥子
and we could afford a place on our own
如果你愿意搬去离下城区近一点的地方
if we were willing just to move a little bit more downtown.
"下城区是棕色的"
"Downtown is brown, brown, brown."
布莱尔每个新婚夫妇的父母
Blair, every newlywed's parents
都会给他们买♥♥一套公♥寓♥
buy them an apartment. Duh.
你唯一需要研究的
The only thing you should work on
就是如何让你自己变开心
is letting yourself be happy.
所有事情都很完美
Everything's perfect.
是吗
Is it?
因为我们还没怎么讨论过订婚派对
Because we still haven't really talked about the engagement party.
-怎么了 -非常糟糕
- What about? - It was crappy.
你知道人们都怎么说
Well, you know what they say.
"糟糕的订婚派对快乐的婚姻生活"
"Crappy engagement, happy marriage."
-没人这么说 -我就这么说
- No one says that. - Well, I do.
我那天晚上没回家你怎么想的
How about the fact that I... didn't come home that night?
我猜测你可能在忙工作
I just assumed you were busy with work junk,
如果我猜对了交叉你的手臂
and if I assumed correctly, cross your arms.
太好了
Oh, perfect.
我只是觉得
I just think,
鉴于最近几个月
in light of the last couple months,
也许我们该考虑
maybe we should think about...
推迟婚礼
...postponing the wedding.
不你又说了"推迟"
No. There's that P word again.
我们上了《泰♥晤♥士♥报♥》的婚誓栏目布莱尔
We were in The Times Vows section, Blair,
而不是悔婚栏目
not the disavows section.
我们要结婚
We are getting married,
我们要在上西区买♥♥套房♥子
we are getting a place on the Upper West Side,
我要在单身派对上戴着一个屌♥型王冠
and I am getting sozzled at my goddamned bachelorette party
喝个酩酊大醉
wearing a goddamned penis crown.
如果你同意这些的话请眨眼
And if you agree with all that, blink.
天啊
Oh, God.
很好我爱你
Perfect. I love you.
等一下
Just a minute.
是谁啊
Who is it?
我的天啊
Oh, my God!
贸易兄弟
对这两位而言交易不过是逛集市
去年所有哈雷彗星墙头草粉丝们
All those fair-weather Halley's Comet fans from last year
不知道他们错过了什么
don't know what they're missing.
1987年是彗星之年
1987 is the year of the comet.
今晚将能看到十一次
There's gonna be 11 visible tonight.
-十一次 -那很多吗
- Eleven! - Ooh, is that a lot?
自从1912年以来最多的一次
Only the most since 1912.
除了你之外我只见过劳伦斯·泰勒
The only person I've seen more excited
对燃烧的石头这么感兴趣
about burning rocks is Lawrence Taylor.
-谁 -他是巨人棒球队的
- Who? - He's a Giant.
瘾君子
Crackhead.
我们都有各自的兴趣爱好
We all have our hobbies.
我的爱好是天文学你的是对我撒谎
Mine is astronomy. Yours is lying to me.
不如今晚我们依偎在沙发上
All right, how about tonight, we snuggle up on the couch
喝一杯红酒一起看彗星
with a bottle of wine and watch your comets?
或许你就不用再睡在沙发上了
And then maybe you won't sleep on the couch anymore.
我不知道我是否准备好了
I don't know if I'm ready for that.
宝贝拜托我说了不好听的话
Babe, come on. I said some things.
你也说了伤人的话
You said some things.
但你不想念她们俩吗
But don't you miss these things?
让我们"交汇"一下
Let's "Comet"
结束这场争吵吧
to ending this fight.
我爱你
I love you.
我也是
Oh, me too.
尤其是当你把它和天文学结合在一起的时候
Especially when you get all astronomical with it.
特别性感
Super hot.
这是场约会
It's a date.
我从蒂芙的单身派对回来的时候
Okay, I'll pick up a bottle
顺便拿瓶酒回来
on my way back from Tiff's bachelorette.
什么你认真的吗
What? Are you serious?
你以为我想去吗
You think I want to go?
我告诉过你乔治纳好戏
I told you, the Georgina play
只有在他俩结婚之后才能奏效
only works if they get married,
而他俩现关系并不好
and they're not in a great place.
是我们关系不好
We are not in a great place!
我为那场好戏已付出了太多
I worked too hard on this.
这牵扯到一大笔钱宝贝
And it's a lot of money, baby.
二十分钟
Twenty minutes.
我不会留下喝一杯酒
I'm not even gonna stay for a drink.
我保证
I promise.
-去吧 -谢谢你谢谢你
- Go. - Thank you, thank you.
谢谢你
Thank you!
BGM: Get Jumpin by George Stephenson, Bradford Ellis, Matthew Guthrie
*Hey, you came to rock the place*
*And you can now all lift your hands*
醒醒啦
Wakey, wakey.
总算醒了
Oh, there he is.
-惊不惊喜 -搞什么
- Surprise! - What the fuck?
请问在哪个次元可以绑♥架♥他人
Wha--in what world is it okay to kidnap someone?
大家不是一直都互相绑♥架♥吗
Oh, people kidnap each other all the time
就为了那些单身派对好玩啊
for these bachelor party joke things.
所以它叫"绑♥架♥架睡觉觉"啊布莱尔
You know, it's called "Kidding-napping" for a reason, Blair.
并没有而且你还用了氯仿[有毒麻醉剂]
No, it's not. And you used chloroform.
-那是用来睡觉觉的 -什么人会用氯仿
- Well, that's the napping part. - Who uses chloroform?
"汉尼拔"约翰·史密斯上校
Uh, Colonel John Hannibal Smith,
"脸谱"坦普莱顿·派克 "哮狼"莫多克
Faceman, Howling Man Murdock--
你只不过在列举《天龙特攻队》里的人物
Now you're just listing the A-Team.
-你帮我换了衣服 -布莱尔他们以前
- You changed my shirt? - Blair, they used to...
-啥破玩意儿 -经常用氯仿迷晕"水牛"
- What the fuck is this? - ...chloroform Mr. T all the time, okay?
他最后总是没什么大碍
He was always fine afterward.
电视上播的东西不一定都能模仿
Just because something works on TV doesn't make it okay.
你就不能试着享受一下吗
Will you just try to have fun?
-柴德停车 -别停
- Chad, stop the car! - Nope. Don't stop shit.
别这样嘛布莱尔我们准备好了整晚的惊喜
Come on, Blair. We got a whole night of surprises planned.
你只不过因为自己的订婚派对生闷气
You're just pissed off about your engagement party,
-但说真的你 -我没有