黑色星期一

Black Monday S01E09

Part 2 March 17, 2020, 12:45 p.m.

就为了完成为期一年的骗局
in order to pull off a year-long long con
价值六千万的骗局你个臭傻♥逼♥"
with 60 mil on the line, you dumb hick fuck."
这个真没怎么听过
You don't hear that one quite as much.
流传的圈子不同
Different circles.
肯定了
Apparently.
-你好 -你好
- Hey. - Hey.
-给你的 -谢谢
- For you. - Thank you.
-来点 -不用了
- Yum? - Ooh, no.
我戒了香槟自从上次
I'm off champagne since I drove home
离婚纪念日我开车回家时撞了
from my divorce-iversary and hit-and-run'd a...
-一只鹿[与"亲密"同音] -这样啊
- ...deer... - Oh.
我父亲一位亲密的朋友
Friend of my father's.
基斯他在分享一个甜蜜的故事呢
Keith, he's telling a sweet story.
不好意思哮喘一直这样
Sorry, asthma. My whole life.
你们大概在想"怎么之前从没听说过这个呢"
Probably wondering, "Hey, why haven't I ever heard about that?"
好吧这是个
Well, it's, uh--
是个有意思但很长的故事所以准备好了
it's a good story and a long one, so buckle up--
没人有兴趣知道那个基斯
Nobody gives a shit, Keith.
-完全没有 -附议
- At all. - Seconded.
好了大家举杯
Okay, champagne
为了这次假结婚
for a sham marriage.
敬乔治纳
To the Georgina--
乔治纳好戏
Georgina play...
我想要
Uh, well, I'd like to, uh--
在此感谢每一位伴郎
to thank all of my groomsmen
并送给大家一些东西
with a little something...
受这位将大家聚在一起的老兄所启发
Inspired by the man who brought us all together.
给你的
For you.
-还有伴郎小姐姐 -太棒了
- And for the grooms-lady. - Yes.
你说给所有伴郎没有老蒙的份儿吗
You said all your groomsmen. You ain't got nothing for old Mo?
你已经有了
You already have one.
-我的天啊 -我去
- Oh, my God! - Holy shit!
是老蒙的幸运手表
It's Mo's lucky watch!
-不是的 -这就是他的那块手表
- No. - This is his exact watch.
这他妈的才不是我的那块
This is not my goddamn watch.
你买♥♥不到我的那是独家定制
You cannot buy my watch. My watch is custom-made.
是的这些高仿复刻品
Yeah, as are these very detailed replicas,
我把它们叫做蒙力士
which I call Mo-lexes.
-蒙力士 -只是一些小东西
- Mo-lex? - Yeah, just a little something
用来提醒大家所有我们
to remind us of the greatest lesson
从你身上吸取到的教训老蒙
we've all learned from you, Mo.
去他们的
Fuck 'em all.
去他们的
Fuck 'em all.
去他们的
Fuck 'em all!
谢谢你
Thank you.
好的
Well, all right,
各位犯罪大♥师♥
my little crime lords
还有奇希·劳尔兹
and Traci Lords.
美国传奇色情女星
让我们拿出你们各自持有的股份吧
Let's get those shares that you parked--
天啊你能出去吗基斯
Jesus, take it outside, Keith,
免得你把秃头也传染给我们
before we all catch bald.
基斯给我
Oh, Keith, give me
你持有的那些股份
those shares that you parked.
太多尘了
Dust.
这是我跟斯宾塞共同持有的股份
And here are the shares that I parked with Spencer.
离婚分来的只不过让我放弃了私人飞机罢了
Got 'em in the divorce. Only cost me our Airplane!
分收藏的录像带的时候的确很艰难
We had a tough time dividing up our Betamax collection.
-真遗憾亲爱的 -我知道
- Oh, babe. - I know.
所以包括我们的空壳公♥司♥
So including our shell companies,
我们拥有45%的股份
we are at 45%.
你们结婚之后加上蒂芙的6%
Six percent more from Tiff when you guys get hitched,
我们就有资本让投资大♥师♥沃伦·巴菲特
and we will have a score that makes Warren Buffet
看起来跟沃伦·小零食了
look like Warren Snack.
如果他能像正常人一样读"巴菲特"
That would've landed if he would pronounce his name
亦有自助餐之意
这梗就容易懂了
"Buffet" like a real man.
-不不宝贝很好笑 -你懂了吗
- No, no, no, babe, it landed. - You got it?
对我懂了
Yeah, I got it.
那大家都准备怎么花这笔钱
So, what's everyone gonna do with their money?
我准备买♥♥一辆新的豪华兰博
I'm buying myself a new Limbo.
得了吧老蒙
Come on, Mo.
我还打算买♥♥下
I'm also gonna pick up
凯斯·哈林的红色系列作品
that red Keith Haring series
一名极富盛名的1980年代美国街头绘画艺术家和社会运动者
我看中好多年了
I've had my eye on for years.
别扯了老蒙
Come on, Mo.
音同"红鲱鱼" 意指转移视线的话题
我们能不能不扯哈林回到正题好吗
Okay, can we not get distracted by red Harings and focus?
现在布莱尔
Right now, Blair,
这是属于你的时刻宝贝
it's on you, baby.
当事人
All good in the...
一切都好
...municipality,
除了只有
except for, uh, just--
只有一件一件非常非常小的事情
just one--just one tiny, teeny little thing.
布莱尔要临阵脱逃了开始吧
Oh, Blair's getting cold feet. Here we go.
现在不是害怕的时候
It's not time for cold feet.
现在要奋勇向前跟城里的朱莉·布朗一样
It's time for hot feet, like Downtown Julie Brown-hot feet.
伦敦女演员主持人
我的天就像我愿意付出一切
Like, Oh, my God, what I wouldn't give to take
赶小猪猪去集市一样
those little piggies to market.
猪蹄
Feet meat.
对韦恩就是猪蹄太对了
Yeah, Wayne, feet meat. Yes!
不不
No, no.
只是蒂芙的爸爸想让我签一些
No, it's just Tiff's dad wants me to sign this, like,
就是一些特别傻的
just really silly little...
婚前协议之后再结婚
...prenup thing before we get married.
什么你认真的布莱尔
Come on, for real, Blair?
操你知道我付出了什么
Goddamn it. Do you have any idea what it's taken for me
才得到现在的位置吗
to get where I am?
知道吗
Any idea?
我流血流汗又流泪
I have shed blood, sweat, and tears.
我挖掘别人的秘密精疲力竭还丢掉工作
I have unearthed secrets, got winded and fired.
你只是在列乐队的名字
You're just listing bands.
这他妈的不重要
It doesn't fucking matter!
我要说的是
What--here's what I'm saying.
如果你想要登上高位布莱尔
You want to sit in the big chair, Blair,
你最好自己带着闪光灯
you better bring a goddamn flashlight,
因为周围太漆黑了
'cause it gets dark.
这是乔治纳好戏
This is the Geor-jeana Play,
而不是乔阴纳好戏
not the Geor-jyna Play.
你知道我为什么说乔阴纳吗
You know why I'm saying Geor-jyna?
我在往下看这有没有给你提示
When I look down, does it help you understand
为什么我发的是"阴"的音
why I'm pronouncing it "Jeye-na"?
你明白我的意思吗
Do you know what I'm saying?
我是个娘们
That I have a vagina.
没错你是个有种的男人吗
Exactly. You got some balls?
你他♥娘♥的♥要证明这一点
You go fucking prove it.
证明给我看快去
Show me! Go get it!
你可以做到的宝贝
You go get it, baby!
-道恩 -怎么
- Hey, Dawn? - Yeah.
高飞跟米奇在叫你
Goofy and Mickey called.
高飞和米奇都是迪士尼的代表人物形象
米老鼠米妮的好朋友
去你的
Fuck you.
女士们拜托了
ladies, please, please.
我只是一个正常男人
I'm just one man.
这他♥娘♥的♥是什么
The fuck is this?
我不知道这一定是
I don't know. It must be my, uh,
我极富吸引力的人格魅力吧
magnetic personality.
你觉得我们在吓唬你吗
You think we're bluffing?
我现在就能去把你儿子
I will go right now and pull your son
从快不及格的课堂上抓回来
out of whatever class he's flunking.
我还会把你的男朋友