黑色星期一

Black Monday S01E04

Part 2 March 17, 2020, 12:43 p.m.

就像真爱一样
Like true love.
你懂吗而且真爱很少降临
You know? And it doesn't come around often.
相信我们你不会愿意成为那个四十岁
Trust us. You don't wanna be the 40-year-old guy
还被俱乐部里所有人可怜的老男人
in the club that everybody feels bad for.
我不知道那些人是可怜他
Well, I-I don't know that they feel bad for the guy
还想与他击掌欢呼
so much as they wanna high-five him, you know,
因为他没有将就
for not settling.
你懂我意思吧
You know what I'm talking about, right?
不布莱尔才不会将就
No! Blair wouldn't be settling.
蒂芙是他的灵魂伴侣
I mean, Tiff is his soul mate
就好比斯宾塞是我的灵魂伴侣一样
just like Spencer is my soul mate.
我同意你说蒂芙的那段话
I agree with the Tiff part of that sentence.
我的意思是
I'm just saying that, you know,
有时选择孤独也是一种勇敢
sometimes it's brave to be alone
而不是和你第一眼见到的
instead of, you know, settling for the first
只让你的父母满意而不能满足你的
lame-ass doctor that you lay eyes on
那个蹩脚医生将就
that satisfies your parents but not you.
床事方面的
Sexually.
不好意思在这段对话中
I'm sorry-- is Tiff the limp dick doctor
-蒂芙是那个蹩脚医生吗 -这么说吧
- in this scenario? - You know what?
当你最好的朋友是机器人时
It is brave to not jump off a roof
没有选择从屋顶跳下去也很勇敢
when your best friend is a robot.
好吧如果《霹雳五号♥》教会了我们什么
Well, if Short Circuit has taught us anything--
布莱尔每个人都需要找到伴侣共度余生
Blair, everyone needs someone to share life with,
在操蛋的一天结束之后
someone to share a bottle of wine with
可以一起喝杯酒祈祷自己不会
at the end of a shitty day and toast to not...
在一个酒店房♥间里孤独地死去
dying alone in a hotel room.
房♥间里还只有一个傻♥逼♥机器人
With a fuck machine in...
-老天 -房♥间里还弥漫着可♥卡♥因♥
- Jesus Christ. - A coke-induced haze--
-我去 -什么情况
- What the fuck? - What the fuck?
就是这么个情况
Yeah. That the fuck.
孩子很抱歉你得以这种方式发现这件事
I'm sorry that you had to find out like this, kid, all right?
第六版小报有我一个朋友专调查豪门八卦
I got a friend over at Page Six, the socialite beat.
蒂芙也在那里吗
Is Tiff like out there?
恐怕是的孩子坊间传闻
Yeah, I'm afraid so, champ. Word on the street--
这家伙的老二跟水管一样粗
this guy's hung like a hose.
你是说马吗
You mean horse.
我不是
I do not.
我知道是我提的分手
I mean, I know I broke up with her,
但我也想不到会这
but I just didn't expect... this
这么快我
this soon-- I--
-我得去找她 -对
- I gotta go find her. - Yeah.
先走一步
'Scuse me.
朋友再见
See ya, buddy.
怎么样
Right?
-任务完成 -不
- Mission accomplished. - No.
我们去雪松酒馆庆祝一下吧
Let's go celebrate. Cedar Tavern.
你觉得怎么样
What do you say?
我要回家找我老公
I am going home to my husband.
你要把这些打包带给他吗
You wanna bag all this up for him?
我喜欢臀部丰满的男人
You know, I appreciate a man with hips.
那挺好他有个大屁♥股♥
Oh, good. 'Cause he's got those.
享受个凯尔的二人世界吧
Enjoy fucking Kyle.
你就是嫉妒
Jealous!
你你不能抽
Y-you can't take
你心脏受不了的凯尔
that kinda shit to heart, Kyle.
想都别想了
Just let it roll off your back.
蒂芙
Tiff?
-斯宾塞 -宝贝我在卧室
- Spence? - In the bedroom, babe.
可以拿一瓶酒进来吗
Hey, bring us a bottle of wine, yeah?
*Who's gonna tell you when*
*It's too late*
凯尔我回来了
Kyle? I'm home.
凯尔
Kyle?
*Who's gonna tell you things*
*Aren't so great?*
老公我有些不乖
Papa Bear, I've been naughty--
我以为我们有些娱乐活动
I thought we were gonna get busy.
宝贝我太撑了动不了了
Oh, babe, I'm so full, I can hardly move.
不过你可以上来自己动
You can do stuff to me if you like.
*Who's gonna drive you home*
*Tonight?*
*Who's gonna pick you up*
你能帮我拿张纸巾么
Would you get me a paper towel?
-沾一点冷水 -我甚至可以帮你擦掉
- Dip it in some cold water. - I'll even wipe it off of you.
所以你不想帮我舔掉吗
Ooh! You don't wanna lick it off?
这场结束感觉挺好的
And...scene. That felt really good.
你觉得用《体热》去试镜会不会很怪
You think Body Heat's a weird movie to audition with?
我真的很想参加这个表演课
I just really wanna get into this acting class.
我们再做一次我大概就能放松点了
Maybe I'd loosen up if we had sex again.
-嗯 -然后我们可以把
- Ah. - Yeah. Then we can clean up
之前在走廊上做♥爱♥脱下的
all the laundry that we knocked over
-所有脏衣服洗一洗了 -是的
- when we had sex in the hall. - Yes! Ohh...
*To your dreams...*
老蒙我们有麻烦了
Mo, we've got a problem.
你说得太对了黑道把凯尔"杀"死了
Yeah, you're damn right we do--the Yakuza killed Kyle!
基斯死哪儿去了
Where the fuck is Keith?
-我找了他一晚上 -他刚唱着歌♥蹦跶进来了
- I been trying him all night! - He just skipped in singing show tunes.
你看这个我让人翻译了
Look at this shit. I had it translated.
本来凯尔可以帮我翻译
It's something Kyle would have done.
下一个就是你
他喜欢语言喜欢过
He loves languages-- Loved languages.
我♥操♥
Oh, fuck me!
-他们没收到钱吗 -没有
- They never got their money? - No!
-基斯 -基斯
- Keith! - Keith!
你们好你们吼我了
Hey. You screamed?
说好的把钱款送过去呢
What happened with the drop?
黑道都没收到钱
The Yakuza never got their fucking cash!
什么不可能的啊
Whaaat? That doesn't make any sen--
这话留着跟他们说吧
You just save it for the Yakuza
我让他们上你家找钱
that I'm sending to your house to get their money
把你孩子的牙缝里也找一遍
outta the fillings in your children's goddamn teeth!
这太狠了你可是瑞秋的教父
That's pretty dark. Your Rachel's godfather.
-快滚去搞定它 -马上
- Go handle it! - On it.
老莫我很抱歉
Mo, I'm sorry.
别管机器人了我们现在有更大的麻烦
All robocide aside, but we've got bigger issues.
比我鸡♥巴♥被剁还麻烦吗
Bigger than me getting my dick chopped off?
你将会破产
You're gonna be broke.
多么操蛋的一天啊
This fuckin' day!
你他♥娘♥的♥做了什么
What the fuck did you do?
黑道没有拿到他们的钱
The Yakuza didn't get their money.
我就让你做了一件那么简单的事情
I asked you to do one simple thing.
-什么 -不要对我说这句话
- Whaaa-- - Oh, don't "Whaaat?" me!
因为我刚才就在那儿对老莫嚷嚷
'Cause I was just in there "Whaaat"ing Mo!
那个我泡过的叫吉娜的小妞
Look, this chick Geena I been mackin' on
紧急呼求我去六九那是紧急口♥活♥的意思
beeped me 69-1-1. That's an oral emergency.
-我让韦恩负责这事了 -韦恩
- I had Wayne do it. - Wayne?
-对啊 -韦恩就是个大蠢货
- Yeah. - Wayne's a test tube baby!
你他♥娘♥的♥为什么要这么做
Why the fuck would you do that?
跟你让我这么做的原因一样那样你就可以
Same reason you had me do it, so you could go see
再去看一遍《星光快车》了
fuckin' Starlight Express again?
这剧层次分明懂吗
It's layered, okay?
外国移♥民♥代表着
Greaseball represents the twilight of the...
工业革命的曙光
Industrial Revolution...
-在它... -我是韦恩
- before it got-- - You got the Wayniac.
黑道没拿到钱
The Yakuza didn't get their money!
-什么 -不韦恩
- Whaaaat? - No. Nope, Wayne.
-你♥他♥妈♥的在哪 -我好想家
- Where the fuck are you? - Home sick.
老天爷说句题外话
Jeez! Hey, unrelated to that,
我只想告诉你们
I just wanted to let you guys know
和你们共事我非常开心
how much fun I've had workin' with you.
优秀不足以形容你们
You're not just good.
-你们最棒了 -你快死了吗
- You're golden. - Are you dying?
那是黄金格雷厄姆新的宣传口号♥吗
Is that the Golden Grahams slogan?
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