黑色星期一

Black Monday S01E07

Part 3 March 17, 2020, 12:44 p.m.

就是不那么
it just is not...
你真是计划周全
Wow. You thought of everything.
"警♥察♥"来了
The "Cops" are here.
不我没计划这个我们该往这边走
No, no, I didn't set this up. We should go this way, man.
-我们走这边 -不我不
- Let's go this way. - No. No, no, no.
我要跟警♥察♥聊聊
I'm gonna go talk to the fuzz.
-不别去... -我要去
- No, don't go talk to the... - Yeah.
那群警♥察♥聊站住
...fucking fuzz! Hey!
-长官 -布莱尔
- Officers! - Blair!
长官
Officers!
我刚刚在想
Hi. I was just wondering
你们中的哪一位胡克警探可以来
if either of you T.J. Hooker extras had a chance
一部1982年开播的动作剧情类美剧
在你们毁掉我的订婚派对之前
to try the canapés at my engagement party
尝尝我派对上的小点心
before you fucking trashed the place.
什么你♥他♥妈♥的是谁
What? Who the fuck are you?
老蒙
Mo!
下次你再打给演员选派中心
Next time you call Central Casting,
你要说得清楚一点
you got to be specific.
不要只说"体型大" 要说"强壮"
Don't just say "Big." You should've said "Tough."
他们就送来了这些胖小子们
They sent the fucking Fat Boys.
拜托别对我这个蠢货朋友开枪
Please, do not shoot my dumb-ass friend.
你♥他♥妈♥给我闭嘴
Shut the fuck up!
加把劲你这拳要出得更狠些才像样
Come on, you got to try to sell that punch better.
你这金表是从谁身上顺来的兄弟
Who'd you boost this watch off, huh, bro?
听着我们什么都不会说的好吗
Listen, we're not gonna say anything, okay?
我们什么都没看见就放我们走吧
We didn't see anything! Just let us go!
好吧听着
Okay, look...
-我现在很累 -布莱尔
- I'm tired. - Blair.
我想要回家我们应该说什么
I want to go home. What are we supposed to say?
"暂停"还是"奥利奥利游戏胜利"
"Time out" or "Olly, olly, oxen free"?
操蛋的演员们
Fucking actors.
该死这手感跟真的一样
Shit, that felt real.
那就是真的你个蠢蛋把它对着那些坏条子
Whoa. It is real, you dumb fuck. Point it at the dirty cops.
-好 -趴趴在地上
- Okay. - Get-get on the ground.
我在后退我很抱歉
I'm just backing away. I'm sorry.
对此深感歉意感谢你们的服务
Sorry about this. Thank you for your service!
滚回来我他妈的要杀了你们
Get back here! I'll fucking kill you!
-他妈的快回来 -滚回来
- Get the fuck back here! - Get back here!
该死
Oh, shit.
告诉我们一个案子
Give us a case,
不然我们就告诉所有人
or we'll tell everyone you're more flaming
你其实是个骚出天际的基佬一语双关噢
than Fire Island, which works on two levels.
-别这样黛布 -我们会告诉你的妻子
- Come on, Deb. - We'll tell your wife.
我们会告诉老蒙
We'll tell Mo.
我们会告诉你的儿子
We'll tell your son.
好
Okay.
太好了我就说他会答应
Nice. Told you he'd be in.
不我的意思是"好去告诉他们吧"
No, no, I meant "Okay, go for it."
告诉全世界我喜欢鸡♥巴♥
Tell the world that I long for schlong.
福克斯探员不是在开玩笑
Agent Fox isn't fucking joking.
我是说虽然她表述的方式不太严谨
I mean, there was a joke in the way that she said it.
我也没有开玩笑好吗
I'm not joking either, okay?
造化弄人不是吗
You know, God's a funny fuck, isn't He?
或许这就是压死骆驼的最后一根稻草你明白吗
Maybe this is the final push I've needed, you know?
我一直都想把真♥相♥告诉我的家人
I've been wanting to tell my family forever,
老蒙只关心我能不能帮他挣钱所以
and Mo only cares that I'm gay for money, so...
去说吧
do it.
如果没有其他问题了
Now, if there aren't any further questions,
尊敬的婊♥子♥们就是是尊敬和婊♥子♥合在一起
your ho-nors--that's "Your honors" but with "Ho"--
-不有趣 -不我们
- Not your best work. - No, we, uh...
我们还藏着一张王牌所以
we got another ace up our sleeves, so...
我们会回来的
We will be back.
到了放大招的时候了
Time to break out the big guns.
我跟你说
I'm telling you,
每个女孩都得在杰克和泰德中选一个
every girl is caught between a Jake and a Ted.
-谁 -《十六支蜡烛》的男主角[电影]
- Who? - From Sixteen Candles.
-我还没看过 -什么
- I haven't seen it. - What?
-没有 -你居然没看过
- No. - No! You haven't seen it?
好吧
Okay.
杰克·瑞恩是个风流的坏蛋
So Jake Ryan is this super-hot badass.
而泰德则是个白♥痴♥
And Ted is this dweeb.
我就嫁给了一个泰德
And I'm marrying a total Ted,
难以置信因为我以前只和杰克类的型男约会
which is crazy because all I'd ever been with are Jakes.
我的处♥女♥身就给了
I lost my virginity
-一个坏孩子 -谁
- to a real bad boy. - Who?
-比尔·兰比尔 -活塞队那个吗
- Bill Laimbeer. - Ah! The Piston?
更像是面条队的
More like the noodle.
我们去了同一个戏剧夏令营
We went to theater camp together.
真希望那时候的他是个好演员
I hope he was a better actor back then.
这是个篮球笑话
It's a basketball joke.
因为
'Cause...
总之我明白你真的
Anyway, I hear you, honestly.
我也总是找杰克
You know, I was all Jakes,
但我也嫁了个他妈的泰德
and then I married a real fucking Ted.
我说什么来着
I told you, I told you.
天呐道恩
Oh, God, Dawn.
我是不是犯了个天大的错误
Am I making a huge mistake?
-不不是 -说实话
- No, no! - Tell me.
没有我向你保证
No, I promise you.
布莱尔很棒
Blair--Blair's great.
真的很棒蒂芙你是个幸运的女孩
Like, really great. Tiff, you are a lucky girl.
你和我我们都明白
And you and I, we both know, you know,
坏男孩也只剩下坏了
bad boys are just bad.
是啊除了杰克·瑞恩
Yeah. Except Jake Ryan.
他有颗金子般的心
He had a heart of gold.
当他知道泰德只想破处时
When he found out all Ted wanted was to lose his virginity,
杰克让他和自己不省人事的女友发♥生♥关♥系♥
Jake let him have sex with his passed-out girlfriend.
-什么鬼 -我知道天哪
- What the fuck? - I know. Wow.
这片还能进电影院
And that was in movie theaters?
-是啊 -白人看完了只会说真酷
- Yeah. - And white people were just like, "Cool"?
我的天
Oh, my God.
我猜那确实是够操蛋的
I guess that is super fucked up.
是啊
Yeah, yeah.
等等等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
你怎么了发生什么了
What's happening? What's happening?
我很确定布莱尔今晚试图取消婚礼
I'm pretty sure Blair tried to call off the wedding tonight.
肯定会超级丢人现眼
And it's gonna be super embarrassing,
但我还是会忍♥气吞声嫁给他
but I think I'm gonna-- just gonna take him up on it.
-别啊为什么 -因为我们被诅咒了
- No. Why? - 'Cause we're cursed.
-我们被诅咒了 -我不不
- We're cursed. - I-I...no, no.
喝你的鸡♥巴♥吧都会没事的
Just drink your penis. It's gonna be okay.
我保证
I promise.
今晚真刺♥激♥ 是不
What a fucking night, right?
你开枪的样子
Oh, you handled that gun
-真牛逼 -该死
- like a champ. - Shit!
抱歉我以为那是把假枪老蒙
Sorry, I thought it was fake, Mo.
我还很抱歉绑♥架♥了你
And I am sorry for kidnapping you,
-但这招挺新奇 -没错
- But that was fresh. - Yes!
咱俩真是好拍档对不
Ooh! What a team, right?
聪慧美貌机智动人
Brains and beauty, witty and pretty,
你也上演了一出好戏小子
and, hey, you bring some shit to the table, too, kid.
我的天我们活着坐在一辆偷来的警车里
Oh, my God, we're alive in a stolen cop car.
-没错 -我们骗过了死神
- Yeah. - We cheated death.
-说得太鸡♥巴♥对了 -我们现在做什么
- We fucking did. - What do we do now?
-喝到至死方休 -好极了
- Let's drink till we die! - Yes!
那边就有个酒吧
Hey, there's a spot right over here.
-走着 -好的
- All right. - Okay.
有谁能在婚礼前分手
Who breaks up before their wedding
但最后还能共同幸福地生活
and still ends up happy together?
有很多人