黑色星期一

Black Monday S01E09

Part 4 March 17, 2020, 12:45 p.m.

我只想取消我和我父母的关系
The only marriage I want to end is mine with my parents.
六年级起我就想申请独♥立♥ 脱离他们
I tried to get emancipated from them in sixth grade
因为他们不让我自己刮腿毛
because they wouldn't let me shave my legs,
最后我以一个耳洞和新信♥用♥卡♥妥协了
and we settled on a cartilage pierce and another credit card.
是时候了
It's time.
布莱尔你是我认识的
Blair, you are the smartest person
最聪明的人
I've ever known,
而且我上的私立学校里还有亚洲人
and my private school had Orientals.
-我想加入 -你愿意吗
- I want in. - You do?
我愿意
I do.
-好极了 -太棒了
- Yeah. - Yes!
很好
All right!
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
下面有请新人
presenting for the very first time,
乔治纳夫妇
Mr. And Mrs. Georgina!
我知道这是场假婚礼
I know this is a sham wedding,
但我不敢相信你让我随了你的姓
but I can't believe you made me take your last name.
蒂芙·法夫听起来我像个大舌头
Tiff Pfaff? Thoundth like I have a thpeeth impediment.
不如我们留点腾出点空间
Why don't we clear some space...
这样布莱尔和蒂芙
so Blair and Tiff...
你确定你要这样做吗
Are you sure you want to do this?
可以开始他们的第一支舞
...can have their very first dance.
我知道这是个假婚礼但我从小就梦想着
I know this is a sham wedding, but I have been dreaming about this day
有这么一天所以请你
since I was a little girl, so please,
满足我吧
just give me this.
好的
Okay.
谢谢你
Thank you.
他们是随着国歌♥在跳舞吗
Are they dancing to the national anthem?
是的蒂芙是忠实的共和党人
Oh, yeah. Tiff's a huge Republican.
共和党人讨厌美国吗
Do Republicans hate America?
因为这就像烧国旗的舞蹈版本
'Cause this is, like, a dance version of burning the flag.
非常不尊重
Wildly disrespectful.
没错
Yeah.
失陪一下
Excuse me.
你最好喝慢点集中精力给老蒙录音
You better slow down and focus on getting tape on Mo.
伙计们听着
Guys, guys, look.
或许我们应该
Maybe we should, I don't know,
再想想这个敲诈的事行吗
give this whole blackmail thing a second look, right?
-给老娘好生工作基斯 -没错
- Get to fucking work, Keith. - Yeah!
好吧
Fine.
把这些收拾了
Bus these.
去你♥妈♥的♥
Fuck you.
演好自己的角色
Stay in character.
他说得对
He's right.
什么不黛布黛布
What? No, Deb--Deb!
怎么样成功了吗
How'd it go? You get it done?
-布莱尔 -成功了
- Blair? - Yeah.
没有婚前协议
No prenup.
我的天
Oh, my God.
恭喜
Congrats.
简直不敢相信
I can't fucking believe this.
上帝
Jesus Christ.
我刚刚完成了华尔街史上最伟大的交易
I just pulled off the greatest trade in the history of Wall Street.
-是我们 -我们
- We. - We.
对对对是我们
You're right, you're right. We. Ah.
我跟你说我们和好吧
Hey, you know what? Let's bury the hatchet.
来呀干杯干杯
Come on, toast. Toast.
我不想干杯老蒙
I don't feel like toasting, Mo.
布莱尔别这样
Blair, come on.
我知道现在感觉有点扎心孩子
Look, I know it stings a little bit right now, kid.
你感觉丧失了自我价值什么的
You feel like you're losing your values or whatever,
但你知道什么永远不会贬值吗
but you know what never loses its value?
我要买♥♥的贾斯珀·约翰的画
The Jasper John I'm gonna buy.
那是一副由贾斯珀·约翰独自塑造的厕所
That's a toilet completely muralized by Jasper Johns.
我要把它放在我的巴斯奎游艇上
I'm gonna stick it in my Basqui-yacht,
那是一个由巴斯奎特独♥立♥制♥作♥的游艇
which is a yacht completely muralized by Basquiat.
闭嘴吧你
Shut the fuck up.
你知道俗话说得不是"无尽的废话和
You know, the saying's not "An endless stream of bullshit
糟糕的双关语是智慧的灵魂" 对吧
and bad puns is the soul of wit," right?
但我是个聪明...的人
But I am the soul... man of wit.
好吧去你♥妈♥的♥布莱尔
Okay, fuck it, Blair, all right?
你不想做我朋友就别做关我屁事
You don't want to be my friend, don't be my friend. Who cares?
但我要在明天开市钟响前拿到那6%的股份
But I want that six percent before the bell tomorrow.
关于那点
About that,
我有条件
I have terms.
你说什么
Excuse me?
如果我们成功了詹玛集团会在一夜之间
If we pull this off, The Jammer Group goes
从洋基队变为大都会队
from being the fucking Yankees to the Mets overnight.
你会得到华尔街上所有上好的交易
You're gonna be offered every sweet-ass deal on the street,
我要我的那份
and I want my piece.
我们说好了的布莱尔
We have a deal, Blair.
不是我们之前说好了
No, we had a deal.
你说我就像你的儿子对吧
You say I'm like a son to you, right?
所以我想是时候让我成为这个家庭的一份子
So I think it's time you make me part of the family.
不如用乔治纳6%的股份
How about six percent of Georgina
换詹玛集团6%的股份
for six percent of The Jammer Group?
不如给你我马屁的6%怎样
How about six percent of kissing my ass?
有一天我去了伯格汉堡
You know, I went to Berger's Burgers the other night,
那里有个牌子写着
and they have a sign there that says
他们只营业了两年
they've only been open for two years.
所以我调查了一下发现那店附近根本没有
So I did a little research, and there's no record of an orphanage
任何孤儿院存在
in that area anywhere.
然后我又做了些调查发现在1974年前
So I did a little more research and found there's no record
任何地方
of a Maurice Monroe...
都没有毛里斯·蒙罗的记录
anywhere before 1974.
我知道你满嘴胡话
I knew you were full of shit,
但我不知道你整个人都是冒牌货
but I didn't think you were all shit.
我想知道证券交易委员会会怎么说
I wonder what the SEC would say
如果他们知道交易所给一个不存在的人受职
if they knew the Exchange issued a seat to a man who doesn't exist.
你真的是想尽办法找到了阴暗的一面
Wow. You really have crossed all the way over to the dark side.
我是跟你学的爸爸
I learned it by watching you, Dad.
我有点想给你一个大大的拥抱
Well, part of me wants to give you a big old hug.
但我更想当着你朋友们和虚伪家人的面
A bigger part of me wants to beat the dog shit out of you
把你打得屁滚尿流
in front of all your friends and fake family.
使出你的致命一击吧
Take your best shot.
厉害
Well played.
告诉你我会怎么办
Tell you what I will do.
我给你1%的股份
I will give you one percent.
就这么多
That's it.
-这是我最好及最后的报价 -你真可爱
- That's my best and final offer. - No, that's--That's cute,
但这不是谈判
but this isn't a negotiation.
如果你不介意的话
Now, if you'll excuse me,
我现在得去入洞房♥了
I have to go do the fucking hokey-pokey.
就算6%又怎样
So what's six percent, hmm?
你把30%都给了黑道
You gave thirty percent to the fucking Yakuza.
道恩我们来算一算好吗抱歉
Let's do a little math, Dawn, all right? Excuse me.
现在你有15%
Okay, now you have 15 percent.
如果加上黑道给雷曼兄弟的30%
Now, if you add the 30 percent that the Yakuza gave the Leighmans,
还有我应该给布莱尔的6%
and then six percent I'm supposed to give to Blair,
把这些都加在一起是多少
we add that together. What is that?
是51% 好吗
51 percent. Okay?
这会让我成为詹玛集团的少数股东
That would make me a minority owner of The Jammer Group.
我不能失去对我自己公♥司♥的控股权道恩
Now I'm not gonna lose control of my own fucking company, Dawn.
我明白我明白
I get it, I get it.
但如果你可以...
But if, you know, you were to--
你懂的
you know.
-你让出几个点 -不要
- You give a couple points. - No.
-两个点道恩两个点 -不要
- Two points, Dawn. Two fucking points! - Fuck, no! No!
我早就知道你说的求婚什么都是狗屁
This is how I knew you were bullshitting about the whole proposal thing.
-我... -你永远都不可能那么细心体贴
- I was-- - You would never be that thoughtful,