黑色星期一

Black Monday S01E06

Part 5 March 17, 2020, 12:44 p.m.

在你和我的工作之间选择
between you and my work,
而我本不该需要在这两者间选择
and I shouldn't have to make that choice.
现在你要选择了
Now you do.
要么跟我要么跟他
You can have me or you can have him.
斯宾塞你怎么
Spence, how--
看看你们俩
Look at the two of you.
就像心灵感应对吧
Like mind meld, right?
我的天确实是
Oh, my goodness, indeed.
-苏屁精是吧 -是苏琪
- Uh, Sucky, right? - It's Suki.
-是吗 -拜托
- Oh, is it? - Come on.
这里每个男的都穿得差不多
Every guy in here's wearing damn near the same thing.
你都没看见我们生气对吧斯宾塞
I mean, you don't see us being all upset about it, right, Spence?
是啊别生气
Yeah, don't be upset.
老蒙能为我们买♥♥裙子就该好好乐呵
Just be happy that Mo bought us both these dresses.
老蒙没有买♥♥这条裙子也没有买♥♥我
Mo didn't buy this dress or me.
好吧
Okay...
*神奇的布莱尔*
*Amazing Blair*
*我醉如*
*How drunk I--*
是谁
Hello?
美女
Hey, pretty lady.
难熬的一晚吗
Rough night?
是啊
Oof. Yeah.
你呢
You?
我一直在欺骗斯宾塞
I've been lying to Spencer.
我一直在自欺欺人
I've been lying to myself.
别激动斯宾塞
Take it easy, Spencer.
别叫我冷静
Don't tell me to take it easy.
我知道你以偷窃为生
I know you steal for a living,
但那不意味着我会让你偷我的女人混账
but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let you steal my girl, motherfucker!
斯宾塞或许我们该出去解决
Spence, maybe could we do this outside?
我非常愿意出去解决
I would love to do this outside.
斯宾塞这个派对是为蒂芙和布莱尔举♥行♥
Spence, this party is about Tiff and Blair,
-不是道恩和我 -布莱尔布莱尔
- not Dawn and me. - Blair? Blair?
这里小伙子
Here, boy!
天呐布莱尔
Oh, my God. Blair!
告诉我该怎么做
Just tell me what to do.
你又聪明又镇定自若
You're so smart and so together,
我现在更相信你而不是我自己
and I trust you more than I trust myself right now.
这是长久以来人们对我说过最好的话了
Mm, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a long time.
也是最笨的话了
And the dumbest.
布莱尔我一点都不镇定自若
Blair, I don't have shit together,
但是如果你问我该不该娶蒂芙
but if you're asking me if you should marry Tiff--
-布莱尔 -我的天
- Blair! - Oh, boy.
-别出声 -出去出去出去
- Okay, shush, shush, shush. - Go, go, go, go, go, go.
这是哪位仙女
Whoa! Who's this lady?
你这个混♥蛋♥
You asshole.
你喝得烂醉躲在这里
While you've been in here, getting shitfaced,
而外面腥风血雨
our reputation's out there,
在现场观众面前名声都被搞臭了
getting butt-fucked in front of a live studio audience.
-起来 -好
- Get up. - Okay.
-起来 -好好
- Get up! - Okay, okay.
你听我说
Oh! Okay, look.
-我应付不了派对 -不你是不想应付我
- I'm s--I'm bad at parties. - No, you're bad at me!
你只需要到场微笑而你连这个都做不到
Okay, all you had to do was show up and smile, and you couldn't even do that.
我忍♥受了这一切
After everything I have put up with--
那该死的公♥寓♥ 那些孤单的夜晚
shitty apartments, the lonely nights--
为了今天我费尽全力
I tried everything to make this work,
因为我爱你
because I love you.
你是唯一一个爱我本人
You're the only one who even liked me
而不是我姓氏的人好吗
in spite of my name, not because of it, okay?
现在我甚至都不知道你到底还喜欢我吗
And now I don't even know if you like me at all anymore.
你到底愿不愿意结婚
Do you even want to get married? Huh?
别这样蒂芙妮
Oh, come on, Tiffany!
你听好斯宾塞
Listen, Spencer,
我对你女朋友没兴趣好吗
I don't want your girl, okay?
其实我根本就不想再看到她
In fact, I don't ever want to see her again,
等我们干完最后几单生意
which is why after we wrap up these last few deals we got,
我就把她送去雷曼兄弟在康涅狄格州的分公♥司♥
I'm gonna ship her off to the Leighman Brothers' satellite office in Connecticut.
-扯淡吧 -真的
- Bullshit. - It's true.
她绝不会去她会辞职
She'll never go for that. She'll quit.
正是如此
Exactly.
你想让她待在家里我想让她走人
You want her home. I want her gone.
双赢
Win-win.
蒂芙蒂芙等等等等
Tiff, Tiff, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
求你了跟我聊聊吧宝贝
Please, please, just talk to me, baby, come on.
-你要去哪里 -别别
- Where're you going? - No, no, no, no, no, no.
孩子孩子蒂芙蒂芙
Kids, kids, Tiff--Tiff--
来自纽约的现场直播
Live from New York,
周五之夜伴随着你们的音乐小伙伴
it is Friday night, with your musical guest,
DJ布莱恩你名字可真烂
DJ Brian--you have a terrible fucking name--
还有你们的主持人我
and your host, me.
但我想说欢迎大家的光临
But I wanted to say, uh, thank you all for coming.
这是一个绝好的时机
It's a--it's a wonderful occasion.
蒂芙在那布莱尔在这是吧
Tiff there, Blair here, right?
太好了
It's great?
布莱尔想说两句
Blair wants to say a few words.
-不不 -对他的灵魂伴侣
- No, no. - Yes, to his soulmate.
对他的爱人蒂芙
To his little love-bunny, Tiff.
说吧说出来
So go ahead and take it away.
谢谢你老蒙
Uh, thank you, Mo.
我想用几分钟时间说说我的真心说
I guess I should take a minute to...say how I feel.
说吧
Oh, yeah. Let's do that.
其实
The truth is...
其实
The truth is...
其实
The truth is...
救命救命救命
Help, help, help, help, help, help! Help!
保护蒂芙妮
Get Tiffany.
对不起对不起
I'm sorry, sorry--
怎么了怎么了
What's happening? What's happening?
不我们不知道还有哪里可去
No! We didn't know where else to go.
我们做坏事了是时候公布保险箱藏的
We did a bad thing. I think it's time to break out
科赫市长的照片了
those Mayor Koch photos in your safe!
所有人蹲下
Everyone on the ground now!
我没事大家伙儿
I'm okay, everybody!
是温的
It's warm!
是温的
It's lukewarm!
该死
Oh, shit.
所有人保持冷静冷静
E-e-everybody just calm down. Calm down.
你们别想活捉我
You'll never take me alive!
什么玩意
What the fuck?
骗到你了
Got you!
老天爷太恐怖了是吧
Oh, my God, that got dark, right?
你刚被耍了傻屌♥
You just got pranked, asshole.
警♥察♥追了我们几英里
The cops have been following us for miles.
他们不是警♥察♥ 他们是演员
Those aren't cops. They're fucking actors.
布兰登每年都会演一集试播集
Brendan books a pilot every year.
-干得不错伙计们 -谢谢
- Great job, guys. - Thank you.
那尸体呢
What about the dead bodies?
都我在停尸房♥借的尸体
Those are cadavers. I rented them from the morgue.
老蒙这他妈简直
Mo, this is so fucking...
太恶毒了
nasty!
老天你吓到我们了
God, you got us.
不恶毒的应该是
Look, no, what's fucking nasty
你们想用我的钱去拉瓜迪亚套利
is your tried to run the LaGuardia Spread with my money,
而你把我的钱给了他
that you gave him.
报应就是个贱♥人♥ 而我是贱♥人♥的儿子
Payback's a bitch, and I'm the son of one.
-典型的老蒙 -蒂芙你还好吗对不起
- Classic Mo. - Tiff, are you all right? I'm sorry.
好吧
Okay.
-我要回家了 -别这样对不起
- I'm going home. - Come on, I-I'm sorry.
我们也要回家了
We are too.