黑色星期一

Black Monday S01E10

Part 1 March 17, 2020, 12:45 p.m.

黑色星期一
第一季第十集[本季终]
《黑色星期一》前情提要
Previously on Black Monday...
自从我给你戴上它以后
Ever since I put this on you,
就引发了各种各样的灾难性事件
it's just been a series of disasters.
这东西被诅咒了
This is cursed.
你的领带别针
Your tie pin.
我想把另一个给你
I want you to have the other one
让你能记住我
to remember me by.
只是一些小东西
Just a little something
用来提醒大家所有我们
to remind us of the greatest lesson
从你身上吸取到的教训老蒙
we've all learned from you, Mo.
去他们的
Fuck 'em all.
去他们的
Fuck 'em all.
去他们的
Fuck 'em all.
老蒙那是蒂芙吗
Mo, is that Tiff?
这是我朋友罗德·詹明斯基
This is my friend Rod Jaminski.
他刚去世了
He just died.
你的算法他妈的根本没用
Your algorithm doesn't even fucking work.
我还在改进它
I-I'm working on it.
不过要是我们告诉你儿子
How would you feel if we told your son
他和你小男友都要坐牢
and your boyfriend that they're going to jail
因为非法接受股份你觉得如何
for illegal share parking?
布莱尔爱上我了
Blair's in love with me,
我觉得我也爱上他了
and I think I'm falling for him too.
布莱尔正试图对我们俩采取行动
Blair's trying to make a move against both of us.
他想独自进行乔治纳好戏
He's trying to run the Georgina play for himself.
你真的是想尽办法找到了阴暗的一面
You really have crossed all the way over to the dark side.
我是跟你学的爸爸
I learned it by watching you, Dad.
离黑色星期一还有1天
离黑色星期一还有0天
昨晚我差点露馅了
I almost blew it last night.
布莱尔一直腻腻歪歪的
Blair was feeling all lovey-dovey, you know,
他亲我的脖子然后对我上下其手
kissing my neck and--and-- and feeling me up,
-抓住我的 -行了太肉麻了
- grabbing my-- - Yeah, I get the jizz.
我不得不假装我发现了一个肿块
I had to pretend like I found a lump
这样我才能离开那里
just so I could get out of there
而不是揍他那张假惺惺的臭脸
without punching him in his lying-ass face.
真不敢相信你居然不知道他是同性恋
I can't believe that you didn't know he was gay.
你还说我你跟一个姑娘约会了一整年
Wait, me? You dated a girl for an entire year
还不知道她是个聋子
without realizing she was deaf.
我以为她是捷克人
I thought she was Czech.
-口音很像 -不才不是
- It's a very similar accent. - No, it's not.
别担心布莱尔好吗
Listen, don't worry about Blair, all right?
他到手的鸭子很快会飞走
He's gonna get his by not getting his.
怎么说
How?
一旦我们开始乔治纳好戏
Once we pull this Georgina play,
-我们清算他们的资产 -没错
- we liquidate their assets... - Yeah.
让那个贱♥人♥破产
bankrupt that bitch,
所有钱都会流向詹玛集团
and all the money flows into the Jammer Group.
布莱尔有那里百分之六的股份
Of which Blair owns six percent.
这也就是为什么
Which is why I'm gonna do
我要对詹玛集团故技重施
the exact same thing to the Jammer Group.
-什么 -其实就是
- What? - Turns out, there was
我的公♥司♥合同里有支暗箭
a secret clause in my bylaws that have some real claws
-此箭一发圣诞老人到家 -行了
- that'll make Santa Claus come-- - Okay.
行了行了等等
Okay, okay, one second.
在你解释完之前别再玩文字游戏了行不行
Can we ditch the wordplay until you finish explaining?
多数股份持有人能冻结少数股份持有人的资产
Any majority owner can freeze out any minority owner,
也就是说在我们清算詹玛集团的资产时
which means you and I can stop Blair from cashing out
你我可以阻止布莱尔兑现对吗
while we liquidate the Jammer Group, right?
让这个贱♥人♥也破产把钱卷走
Bankrupt this bitch, take all that cash,
然后成立我们自己的公♥司♥ 老蒙公♥司♥
and start our own company: the Mo Co.
你说的对老蒙体验馆
Okay, you're right, the Mo Experience.
你敢相信我们把他困在了典型的69困境吗
Can you believe that we got him trapped in a classic Catch-69?
我猜你要给我解释一下为什么不是两难境地
I just assume you're gonna tell me why it's not 22?
他想干♥死♥我们的唯一办法就是先让自己被♥干♥死
The only way he can fuck us is if he gets fucked.
那就是两难境地啊
So it's a Catch-22.
天哪我们就不能关注一下重点吗
Jesus Chri-- can we just focus on what's important,
比如我们要怎么让香槟
like how we're gonna keep champagne spray
洒在我们全新的晚礼服上
off our brand-new tuxes?
到时候这里肯定就像锦标赛的更衣室一样
It's gonna be like a championship locker room up in this bitch.
不敢相信你为了生日派对
I can't believe you bought us all
居然给我们每个人都买♥♥了毕扬的晚礼服
Bijan tuxes for your birthday tonight.
在你们不知道的情况下搞清楚你们的尺码
Getting you all fitted without you finding out,
这才是棘手的地方
now, that was the tricky part.
是啊
Oh, yeah.
道恩我
Dawny, I--
没有你我绝不会走到这里
I would have never got here without you.
我想不出除了你我还想和谁一起庆祝
I can't think of anybody I'd rather celebrate with.
你最好出现在你的生日派对上
Yeah, well, you just better be at your birthday, you know.
不敢相信你去年根本没出现
I can't believe you no-showed last year.
你错过了杰西·杰克逊
You missed Jesse Jackson
说乔·皮斯柯波对琼·里弗斯
telling Joe Piscopo's Joan Rivers impression
回纽约的感觉
to go back to Hymie Town.
该死的我错过了一切
Goddamn it, I miss everything.
我跟你说
Yeah, well, let me tell you something:
去年远比不上今年
last year has got nothing on tonight.
如果我没出场
If I don't show,
你最好直接给太平间打电♥话♥
you better call the fucking morgue.
-我真的很抱歉 -你有吗
- I am so sorry. - Are you?
因为她们说你本可以保护我
'Cause they said you could have protected me,
但你选择了老蒙
but you chose Mo.
他们现在告我证券欺诈
They're charging me with securities fraud.
我昨天一整晚都蹲在牢房♥里
I spent last night in a 12x12 cell.
你如果仔细想想
Well, if you think about it,
它比你公♥寓♥还大点呢
it's kind of bigger than your apartment.
别太过分了你
Don't, don't.
听着我没想到她们真会这么干
Look, I didn't think they were gonna do shit.
她们是来真的
Oh, they did shit,
然后我被迫目不转睛地
and then I had to watch a man named Bertrude
盯着一个叫伯特鲁德的人拉了十五分钟屎
take a shit without breaking eye contact with me for 15 minutes.
厕所没有隔间基斯
There's no stalls, Keith.
我能解决这事弥补你
I can fix this, make this right.
相信我就好相信我不要
Just trust me. Just trust me. Don't--
都完了基斯
It's over, Keith.
你永远也解决不了这件事
You can never fix this.
我们之后再联♥系♥你迈克
We'll be in touch, Mike.
你告诉你的小男友我们在虚张声势
You called our bluff on your boyfriend.
接下来轮到你的家人了
Next up is your family.
交出老蒙这一切都可以结束
Give us Mo and this all goes away.
毁掉录音带这次是救不了你了
And destroying the tape isn't gonna save your ass this time
因为我们要用最新科技对你进行实时监听
'cause we're gonna be listening to you live with the latest technology.
特别袖珍
So small.
你们不明白好吗
You guys don't understand, okay?
老蒙是我的朋友我最好的朋友
Mo is my friend, my best friend.
老蒙就是一个人♥渣♥ 而且他也不是你的朋友
Mo is a piece of shit, and he's not your friend.
你说说乔治纳好戏这次他又分了你多少
Tell me, how much of the Georgina play is he giving you again?
对了一分没有
Oh, right, zilch percent.
他为你做过什么事吗
What has he ever done for you?
在没人愿意接纳我时他给了我一份工作
He gave me a job when no one else would.
基斯这是你人生的关键时刻了
This is your moment of truth, Keith.
抓住它或者我们会没收你的财产
Seize it, or we're gonna seize your assets
抓住你的把柄然后在法庭上把你绳之以法
and your ass, and we'll seize you in court.
选一句说就行黛布
Just pick one, Deb.
在法庭上把你绳之以法
Seize you in court.
乔治纳
好了各位都赶快闭嘴安静下来
All right, everybody, shut the fuck up real quick.
现在听我说我们经历了太多了的...可♥卡♥因♥
Now, listen, we've been through a lot...of coke.
没有没有实际上
No, no, no, no, actually,
我们共享过很多
we have shared a lot of--
-妓♥女♥ -还有疱疹
- Prostitutes. - And herpes.
那是痘痘我有成年人痤疮