少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S05E03

Part 1 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:19 p.m.

Margarita on the rocks, huh? What?
来杯加冰玛格丽塔怎样
That's an excellent choice, eh--
真是明智的选择看招...
Have you seen our wine list?
你有看过我们的酒水单吗
Oh my god, what happened to all the bottles?
天了噜这些酒瓶是咋回事
Danny.
丹尼干的
I'll talk to him, man.
我会好好教育他的
Thank you, so much for filling in, man.
谢谢你来顶班
I can't believe I forgot to do the schedule again.
简直不敢相信我又忘了排班
It's all my mom's fault, she's so selfish.
都怪我妈太自私
Had to go on her stupid honeymoon.
非得去度什么愚蠢的蜜月
Who's gonna wait on all these tables?
这么多桌客人谁来招待
Hey. Riley, hey.
嗨嗨莱丽
Perfect timing. Is Danny ready to go?
来得正好丹尼准备好走了吗
Yes, as soon as he finishes cooking this order.
嗯等他先把这桌菜做好之后
What order?
什么菜
Hi, thank you guys for waiting, this is Riley.
感谢你们的耐心等待这位是莱丽
She'll be your server this evening.
今晚她将为你们服务
Push the appies.
跟他们介绍一下开胃菜
You know what, Ben? Ben, push them yourself.
等等本要说你自己说
All right? I passed the bar so that I wouldn't have to work in one.
我考法律可不是为了在酒吧当服务员
Come on, dude, you've got to get it together.
拜托你得想办法重整旗鼓啊
I mean, Tucker's making drinks?
你竟然让塔克尔调酒
What's next? Is Emma working the deep fryer?
你还想怎么搞让艾玛去炸薯条吗
You kidding? She's my best cocktail waitress.
你开玩笑的吧她可是我最好的鸡尾酒服务员
**It's amazing how the unexpected*
*人生妙无边惊喜无极限
**Can take your life and change directions*
*劝君莫等闲雌雄随我愿
Man, finding a new manager for
天啊给酒吧找经理
the bar is going to be harder than I thought.
比我想象的要难多了
No one included the photo with their resume.
她们简历上都不附照片的
How am I supposed to tell if she's hot?
这样我怎么知道她是不是辣妹
And why are you eating everything in the house?
还有你为啥把家里的东西都吃空
Didn't you just eat at Riley's?
你不是才在莱丽家吃过饭吗
That's the problem. She's a horrible cook.
这就是问题所在她做饭太难吃了
Oh. I know.
我知道了
She make you one of her meat waffles?
她是不是给你做了招牌鲜肉华夫饼
Yeah. I didn't know it was possible
是啊我都不知道
for something to be both overcooked
同一道菜竟然可以做到
and undercooked at the exact same time.
既烤糊又没熟
But I don't want to hurt her feelings,
可我又不想伤她的心
so, everything she puts in front of me,
所以她放我面前的食物
I've been tossing, hiding, or flushing.
都被我扔掉藏起来或者是冲进马桶了
Knock, knock. Hey, babe.
咚咚咚嗨亲爱的
Oh, hey, honey. Um...
嗨亲爱的
Now that we've got all the food out,
既然我们已经把食物都拿出来了
we can finally clean the fridge.
我们终于可以好好清洁一下冰箱了
Clean it, Ben.
快去清理冰箱啊本
Um, you forgot your gym bag,
你把运动包落我家了
and I found a meat waffle in it.
我在里面找到了一块鲜肉华夫饼
Oh, yeah, they're just so good
对啊它们太好吃了
that I wanted to save one for after practice.
所以我想留一块训练完再吃
They taste even better when they've
华夫饼在闷热的储物柜里放一放
been in a hot locker for a while.
会更好吃哦
No way!
不是吧
I just got a resume from Sam Saffe.
萨姆·萨菲给我发了份简历
I think it's really her.
好像真的是她
Wait, wait, wait, Samantha Saffe from high school?
等等咱高中那个萨曼莎·萨菲吗
Ugh, she was so perfect.
哇她当年可是女神
God, I hated her.
天呐我当时恨死她了
Really? I thought she was nice.
不是吧我记得她人很好啊
You know, now that I think about it,
不过现在回想起来
not a huge fan.
她确实不咋地
Yeah, well, I loved her.
反正我喜欢她
Sat behind her in home room for three years.
年级教室里我在她后面一坐就是三年
Smell of cherry lip balm and acne cream
樱桃味润唇膏和暗疮膏的气味
still gets me going.
如今依然能让我精神振奋
She didn't even know you were alive.
她连你是死是活都不知道
Oh, she will now.
她会知道的
Wait, you're not really gonna have her come in
慢着你不会真打算
for an interview, are you?
让她来面试吧
Uh, hell yeah.
干嘛不呢
This is the kind of moment you dream about your entire life.
这不正是那种期待了一辈子的时刻么
I'm gonna let her think she's got the job,
我要先让她觉得自己得到了这份工作
and then I'm gonna yank it away.
再打破她的幻想
Then she'll feel like I did every single day of my life.
从此她的余生都将在这种阴影下度过
And that, my friends, will be the ultimate "Re-benge."
而这亲们将成为终极版"本之复仇"
How have I not used that before?
我之前怎么从没说过这词呢
"Re-benge"... that's genius.
"本之复仇" 真天才
Oh, these are the moments
每到这种时候
where I really feel like I dodged a bullet.
我都庆幸自己躲过一劫
Hey. Hey, Riles.
嘿嘿莱丽
Back from my honeymoon.
蜜月归来
Wanna see my tan lines?
想看看我的晒痕吗
Trick question. I don't have any.
逗你玩儿压根就没有
Yeah, yeah, I got that from your postcard.
知道知道你在明信片上说了
Even though the post office blacked out all the nude parts.
虽然邮局给裸♥露♥的部分都打上了马赛克
Sounds like your honeymoon was a dream come true.
听上去你的蜜月宛如美梦成真啊
Yeah. Sort of.
嗯算是吧
I want a divorce.
我要离婚
What?
什么
You just got married!
你才刚结婚诶
You and Brad seem so happy together.
你和布拉德在一起两人都很开心啊
Well, of course Brad was happy.
他当然开心
He was with me!
他的对象可是我诶
But, you know, then on the plane on the way home,
可是在回来的飞机上
I realized something terrible:
我意识到一些可怕的事情
he was coming home with me.
他要和我一块回家了
I had breakfast, he was there.
我吃早餐他在旁边
I had lunch, still there.
我吃午餐他还在旁边
Dinner, bed, my 2:00 a.m. Tinkle time,
晚餐睡觉深夜狂欢撒尿
there, there, there!
随时随地都在
And he's just completely smothering me.
他就快逼死我了
Or... loving you?
或者说...爱死你了
He's left me 10 messages already this morning,
这才一早上他就发了十条短♥信♥
and I just saw him last night.
我明明昨晚才见过他
Mrs. Perrin, there's a Brad Walker here to see you.
佩林太太有位布拉德·沃克想见您
Oh my god, Brad? Brad! What is Brad doing here?
啥布拉德布拉德干嘛来了
Who knows?
谁知道啊
He probably planted a GPS in my bra.
他很有可能在我胸罩上安了定位系统
Okay, all right, here's what you do.
好吧你这么做
Just feel him out and see
试探他看他会不会
if he'll be completely crushed if I leave him.
因为我离开他而全盘崩溃
Oh, who am I kidding, of course he will be.
我这是蒙谁呢他当然会崩溃了
Why would I do that?
我♥干♥嘛这么做
I gave you two sons. You owe me.
我俩儿子都搭给你了你欠我的
Yo, Sam's gonna be here any minute.
小萨马上就到了
This is gonna be epic. I'm not even gonna recognize her.
这将是历史性的一刻我会装作不认识她
She's gonna be all like,
她肯定很惊讶
"Oh, my god, Ben Wheeler, is that you?"
"哦天哪本·维勒是你吗"
And then I'll be all like,
然后我高冷地回答
"I'm sorry, do we know each other?"
"不好意思我们认识吗"
And then she'll be like,
接着她说
"It's me, Sam Saffe from homeroom."
"是我啊萨曼莎·萨菲咱们是同学"
And I'll be like, "Oh, what's up, baby?"
我就回"有事吗妞儿"
Oh, here she is.
她来了
Crap. She's even hotter.
卧♥槽♥ 她身材更好了
Okay. Tucker, follow my lead.
好了塔克尔跟着我演
And another thing.
还有件事
If I ever catch you stealing... olives ever again,
如果再被我发现你偷... 橄榄的话
you're fired.
你就被炒了
'cause I'm the owner of this bar.
因为我是这间酒吧的老板