少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S05E17

Part 1 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:22 p.m.

And when the not-so-cute boy pony asked out
当不是很帅的男生小马约
the girl pony, she said...
女生小马时她说...
"Neigh"! Yeah!
嘶对啦
Watch out, watch out...
小心小心
Lift it a little bit, come on. Ouch! My hand!
稍微抬起来一点快我的手
All right, what are you doing? Can you believe it?
你们在干什么说出来你都不会信
Somebody just left this chair on the street.
有人把这沙发丢大马路上了
Yeah. Maybe they died before
对可能他们还没来得及
they could get it all the way to the dumpster.
把它丢进垃圾箱就死了
Ben, you don't need to bring in everything
本你不用把在外面看到的所有东西
you find outside.
都带回家吧
Oh, no offense.
不是说你啦宝贝
**It's amazing how the unexpected*
*人生妙无边惊喜无极限
**Can take your life and change direction*
*劝君莫等闲雌雄随我愿
What a play! Oh, come on! That's holding!
漂亮不是吧都打手犯规了
Hey, guys, turn up the volume a little.
你们把声音稍微开大一点
Oh, and I'm gonna need another beer,
我还要喝啤酒
so volume and beer. And pretzels!
所以音量和啤酒还有椒盐饼干
You know what? Why don't you guys just throw me the rem--
你们不如直接给我遥...
All right, just for that,
好吧既然你们这样对我
I'm not gonna let
那我就不让你们
either of you have your turn in Chairy Lee Lewis.
轮流坐这把李·李维斯之椅了
Ben? Hi.
是本吗嗨
I'm kind of afraid to ask what you're doin'.
我有点不太敢问你在干什么
It's my new chair. Pretty cool, right?
这是我的新椅子挺酷的吧
Whether kickin' back, watchin' sports,
不管是躺着休息看比赛
or just putting your hand in the waistband of your shorts,
还是把手放裤腰上
it's a sign that you're finally a man.
都是正式成为男人的标志
You know what I like most about you?
你知道我最喜欢你什么吗
Your ability to not care when people are laughing at you.
你很善于忽略别人对你的嘲笑
But I'm actually glad to see you.
不过我还是很高兴见到你
I finally found a new job,
我终于找到了新工作
so this is my official two-week notice.
所以我现在正式申请辞职
I think it'd be better for both of us
我觉得不要一起工作
if we just didn't work together.
对咱俩都好
You agree, right?
你同意吧
No.
不同意
Maybe? I guess.
也有可能吧
Look, I'm really sorry about everything
我对我们之间发生过的事
that's happened or didn't happen between us.
和没有发生的事都很遗憾
Me too.
我也是
I'm gonna go grab Riley for yoga.
我要去找莱丽做瑜伽了
See you around, Ben.
回见本
I'll be right here just being a man.
我就在这里做男人了
Knock, knock.
咚咚咚
Hey, Tuck, can you help me get rid of this stupid chair?
塔克你能帮我把这把破椅子给扔了吗
Oh, no, no. Been there, done that, not touching it.
不不我已经试过了不想再碰它了
No, no, no.
不不不
Why don't you ask Danny for help?
为什么不找丹尼帮忙
Oh, right, you can't, you're in a fight.
对你不能找他你们还在吵架
You think you're right, he thinks he's right.
你觉得你是对的他觉得他是对的
I'm the only one that's right 'cause I think you both crazy.
只有我是对的因为我觉得你们都疯了
Are you done?
说完了吗
What's with the suit? Did somebody die?
你怎么穿西装有人死了吗
Oh, my god, did somebody die?
我天真的有人死了吗
I'm so sorry.
真对不起
No, the station is sending me out to
不是台里派我去
cover a big entertainment story.
采访一个大型的娱乐事件
Oh! Tucker, that's great!
塔克尔那太棒了
A beauty pageant for toddlers.
幼儿选美大赛
Tucker, that's horrible.
塔克尔你太惨了
Can I...
我能...
You know what? Those pageants,
你知道吗这种选美比赛
they aren't even for the kids.
根本就不是为孩子办的
They're really for the moms who are trying to make up
有些妈妈想弥补自己人生中缺乏的成就感
for the lack of fulfillment in their own lives.
这其实是为她们办的
They are certainly no place for a pudgy four-year-old
主角根本不是眼睛不好使
with a lazy eye and a heart of gold.
但心地善良的四岁小奶娃
Oh, no, no, she doesn't even get to compete!
不对不对她连参赛机会都没有
Oh, my god.
我的天
Wait, Riley, I think your sad, pathetic, tragic childhood
等等莱丽我觉得你可悲可怜可叹的童年
may have just come in handy.
可能刚好能派上用场
Yeah, I just need to expose the-- the dark underbelly
对我只需要暴露
of the toddler beauty pageant circuit.
幼儿选美比赛背后的黑幕
A Tucker Dobbs exclusive...
塔克尔·多不思独家...
exclusive, exclusive...
独家独家...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
对对对对对
I just need to find a mom who's willing to
我只需要找一个愿意在镜头前
act like a complete jackass in front of a camera.
扮演混♥蛋♥妈妈的人
Hey, guys!
大家好
Oh, man...
妈呀
it is hard outrunning a police horse.
要跑过警马可真不容易
Unrelated, if a guy named Brick calls,
另外如果一个叫布里克的人打电♥话♥过来
tell him the drop has been made.
告诉他"货"已经做好了
Okay, what's with the hand signals and the darty eyes?
喂你们俩打手势使眼色是什么意思
Nothing.
没什么
Tucker just has to cover this baby beauty pageant
塔克尔得去参加这次儿童选美大赛
and he thought it'd be fun
他觉得如果能介绍
to profile one of the moms or grandmoms.
艾玛有位慈母或者祖母会更好
That's so lame, right?
这点子太烂了对吧
Uh, no, not lame.
才不会
Everybody loves a good pageant story.
选美大赛人人都爱听故事
You know, I was two-time runner up miss Teen Northeastern New Jersey
我可是两届新泽西东北部区妙龄小姐的亚军
till a very large baby bump derailed my career.
直到肚子里的孩子改变了我的职业轨迹
Hey, I have a brilliant idea.
有了我想到个好主意
What if I entered Emma?
如果我带艾玛入场呢
That is brilliant, but I don't know.
确实不错但我不知道行不行
I mean, what will Ben say?
我是说不知道本会有什么反应
Nothing, because he doesn't need to know.
什么反应都没有因为他不需要知道
Just like he didn't know
就像他不知道我不小心
that I accidentally vacuumed up his pet iguana Charles.
把他的鬣蜥蜴查尔斯给吸进吸尘器了一样
We lost a great vacuum that day.
可惜了那么好的吸尘器了
Oh, good morning, Chaireem Abdul Chairbar.
早上好啊沙发小姐
What's this?
这是啥
"Dear Ben, can't shake the feeling that
"亲爱的本你我的感情还未完全消逝
there's still something between us.
这感觉在心头一直挥散不去
If you know who this is and you feel the same way,
如果你知道我是谁而你也有同感
meet me at Cafe Georgia tonight at 7:00.
今晚七点来乔治亚咖啡馆见我
If I don't see you,
如果我见不到你
I'll know we weren't meant to be."
我就会明白你并非我的真命天子"
Oh, my god,
我的天哪
that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard!
这是我有生以来听过最浪漫的事了
Who's it from?
谁写的
She didn't sign it.
她没留名字
You think it might be Sam?
你觉得是小萨吗
Oh! It has to be Sam!
哦肯定是小萨
You mean the Sam who literally says every day,
你是说那个基本每天一说
"Ben, stay away from me." "Ben, stop talking to me."
"本离我远点" "本别跟我说话"
"Ben, stop staring at my boobs"?
"本不许盯着我的胸"的小萨吗
Yeah, that Sam.
没错就是那个小萨
I mean, if it's not her, then who is it?
如果不是她还会是谁呢
I mean, there have got to be dozens of women out there
当然了外头还有一群女人
who wouldn't mind another spin on the Wheeler.
想要拜倒在维勒的牛仔裤下
What if you go
那要是你去见了
and it's not someone you like,
却不是你喜欢的人
then that poor girl is completely embarrassed and humiliated?
让那可怜的姑娘受尽尴尬委屈呢
Oh, my god, could you think like a dude
妈呀你就不能像个爷们儿
and not a teenage girl just once?
而不是青春期小女孩一样思考吗
I'll get there early, check her out,
我会早点过去先看看情况
if I don't like what I see, I'll hide out in the men's room
如果我不喜欢那一款我就躲进厕所