少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S05E02

Part 3 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:19 p.m.

Oh, Emma.
艾玛
Emma, do you know how to open the refrigerator?
艾玛你知道怎么开冰箱吗
The chardonnay's on the top shelf, run.
酒在最上面那层快去
Run!
快去
...Which is why owning a bar is great.
这就是为什么开酒吧很好
I mean, of course it's nowhere near
当然啦这和当律师比起来
as impressive as being a lawyer.
还要差得太远
What's your specialty?
你有什么特长
Oh, my god, did you hear that?
天呐你听到了吗
He brought the conversation back to her.
他竟然把话题又绕回到她身上了
My heart is so full right now.
我现在感觉太满足了
Is it me or is it really hot in here?
只有我觉得热吗还是这里真的很热
So, um...
所以说
You were saying something about... The law?
你刚刚是在说法律什么的吗
Yeah. I loved law school.
是啊我爱法学院
I went to the university of rhode island... Don't look down.
我去罗德岛大学别往下看
don't look down.
别往下看
Dude, come on.
伙计真是的
...Family program for their law school.
...法学院的家庭项目
Oh, no, what did she say?
不好她刚刚说了什么
Something about rhode island? Say something about rhode island!
罗德岛什么的吗说点关于罗德岛的
I love rhode island!
我爱罗德岛
Nailed it.
搞定
I wonder if those are real.
真想知道这对大奶是不是真的
He's out, Riley.
他神游了莱丽
I lost him.
我没法和他交流
What? No, no, no. Penny, come on!
什么不不不佩妮别走
No! I was just momentarily distracted.
不我只是分神了一小会儿
God!
天呐
I can't believe I blew it.
真不敢相信我竟然搞砸了
It's okay.
没关系
You know, I knew you would.
我知道你会搞砸的
So, that was a practice Penny.
其实刚刚那是用来演习的佩妮
What? You expected me to fail?
什么你料到我会失败
Oh, come on. Even you expected you to fail.
得了吧连你自己都料到了
Okay, well, if you think you know me so well,
好吧如果你以为你这么了解我
what am I thinking right now?
我现在在想什么呢
You're wondering if they're real or not.
你在想她的胸是不是真的
Okay, well , what am I thinking right now?
那我现在又在想什么呢
Same thing. Damn it.
还是胸靠
Hey, mom.
老妈
Hey, honey.
宝贝儿
Mom, I just had my best practice of the season.
妈刚刚的训练是我这季度表现最好的一次
Even the coach noticed.
就连教练都注意到了
Yeah, really? What'd he say?
是吗真的吗他怎么说
Nothing. But he usually says I suck,
什么也没说但他通常会说我很菜
so "Nothing" is a huge improvement.
所以"什么都没说"是一个巨大的进步
Oh, and get this,
还有
I found out that we're gonna have a drug test
我得知我们在比赛开始之前
before the game tonight,
要进行一次药检
So how lucky is it that we smoked last night, not this morning?
真走运还好我们是昨晚抽的不是今早
What? Danny!
什么丹尼
Marijuana stays in your system for like two weeks.
大♥麻♥会在你的身体里残留大概两星期
If it didn't, I would be an air traffic controller right now.
要不然我现在都能当航♥空♥调度员了
What?
什么
No, no, no. This isn't happening!
不不不绝不能让这事发生
The first time I do the pot, I totally ruin my career?
我第一次抽大♥麻♥就要毁了我的职业生涯吗
This is all your fault.
都怪你
Okay, all right, Danny, just relax.
好吧丹尼放松点
Okay, you hardly smoked any, all right?
你没抽多少了啦好吗
Hey, although a puff or two right now might calm you right down.
尽管马上抽个一两口可能会让你冷静下来
Mom! Drug test!
老妈药检
All right, you're right, you're right.
你说得对你说得对
You know what, people outsmart these tests all the time.
你知道吗大家总是有办法混过药检
We just have to find out how they do it.
我们只需要知道他们是怎么干的
"How to pass a drug test."
"如何混过药检"
No, not rug test.
不对不是"毯"检
Oh, my gosh, these are some nice rugs.
天呐这些地毯可真不错
I should probably just totally rearrange my living room.
我最好把我的客厅全部重新布置一下
$400, are you--
400美元开什么...
Mom! Come on, focus!
老妈抓重点
Yeah, yeah, yeah, honey. I'm sorry,
哦对对宝贝儿对不起
I might have had one too many of those cookies earlier.
我之前可能吃了一个夹着好多大♥麻♥的饼干
Wait, these cookies?
等等是这些饼干吗
Danny! No! Oh, god!
丹尼不要天呐
What is wrong with you?
你脑子坏了吗
Those cookies are full of pot.
这些饼干里都是大♥麻♥
What?
什么
Who would bake pot into perfectly innocent cookies?
谁会把大♥麻♥做成这么无害的饼干啊
It was probably that awful Mary Jane.
很可能是那个可恶的玛丽·简
I am gonna go find her,
我会去找到她
And when I do, I am gonna give her a piece of my mind.
等我找到了我要好好教育她
I pulled a lot of strings
我找老板动了好多关系
with my boss to get us into the firm's skybox,
才让我们进了事务所的豪华包厢
So do not let me down, Wheeler.
所以不要让我失望维勒
Otherwise, the next box that I get you into
否则下一个我带你去的包厢
will have handles on the side.
另一侧就会有把手了[进监牢]
Oh, She of Little Faith, I got this.
《小信念的她》那集的把手嘛我搞得定
And if I don't,
如果我搞砸了
I got the popcorn girl's number just in case.
以防万一我还拿到了卖♥♥爆米花女孩的号♥码
I'm just... totally kidding.
我只是... 开玩笑呢
Penny!
佩妮
Find a penny, pick her up.
看到一分钱捡起来[找到佩妮勾搭她]
Don't say that.
别说这话
Penny, hi. Uh, this is Ben.
佩妮你好这是本
Hi, pleasure to meet you.
你好很高兴认识你
Hi, Ben. Riley's told me a lot about you.
你好本莱丽跟我说了很多你的事
Oh, well ,you know, she's a notorious liar, so...
她可是出了名的扯谎精所以...
Don't worry, it was all good.
别担心说的都是你的好
Like I said, she's a notorious liar.
就像我说的她是出了名的扯谎精
I can't wait to hear about you.
我等不及想要听你的事了
She has beautiful eyes.
她有一双美丽的眼睛
There's something you don't see everyday.
这可不是天天都能看到的
Quick, do something nice.
快点做点绅士的事
Let me hang that up for you.
我来帮你挂起来
Oh, you know what, hey, why don't I do it?
不然还是我来挂吧
I mean, I seem to be standing in the way anyway.
我是说反正我现在好像正挡着道
And now I'm just standing here talking to myself.
而我现在站在这儿自言自语
So, might as well go drink by myself.
还是自己一个人去喝酒吧
Up high,
高球
Down low, real slow.
低球慢动作
Danny. What?
丹尼怎么了
Danny. Huh? What?
丹尼怎么了啊
I g-o-t the pee.
我-呢-啊-啊到了尿
You got goat pee?
你拿到羊尿了吗
Oh, god!
天呐
No! Just regular pee, you big stoner.
不就是普通的尿你个瘾君子
Okay. All right, this is Emma's.
好了听着这是艾玛的
And unless she's sparking up behind our backs,
除非她也背着我们嗨过否则
it's clean.
这就是合格的尿样
So, um...
那...
Just sneak this into your drug test, okay?
尿检的时候偷偷带进去
Oh, my god, mom, thank you so much!
天呐妈妈太谢谢你了
I couldn't have done it without you.
没有你我肯定不能通过
Oh, wait, wait.
等等
Someone else is hugging you.
还有人在抱你呢
Oh, never mind, it was just my other hand.
没事是我的另一只手干的
Ah, you're the best mom ever.
你是最棒的老妈
Well, actually, the best mom would be the one who didn't
事实上最好的老妈不该让你
Tell you to smoke a bunch of weed.
抽那串大♥麻♥烟草