少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S05E19

Part 1 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:22 p.m.

All right, gentlemen, and I use that word quite sarcastically,
先生们这么称呼是用来讽刺你们的
it's time to lighten your wallets with a game called poker.
是时候用一个叫做扑克的游戏来点亮你们的钱包了
Poker!
扑克
Okay, let that be the only new word she learns tonight, got it?
这个词是她今晚唯一会学到的新词懂了吗
Got it.
懂了
So, should we start with a little five-card stud?
那我们先从五张牌的梭哈开始吗
Stud!
梭哈
Sorry.
对不起
All right, the buy-in is 20 bucks.
好了入场费是二十块
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Condoms instead of chips?
用套套代替筹码吗
Look, we are not giving you 20 bucks for condoms.
我们才不会给你二十块买♥♥套套
We can steal these for free from your room.
因为我们可以不花钱从你房♥间里偷
Well, I'm tired of supporting your habit.
我不想再资助你的爱好了
From now on, if you wanna get laid, I've gotta get paid.
从现在起你想滚床单就要给我钱
Hey, I don't think anyone should use this one.
我觉得这个不能用啊
There's a bunch of tiny holes in it.
这上面有一堆小洞
Wait, same with these.
等等这些也有
And this one. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
还有这个不不不不不不不
They all have holes in them!
所有的套套上面都有洞
We've been using these condoms.
这些套我们一直都在用
Do you know what this means?
你们知道这代表着什么吗
Uh-oh!
啊哦
You heard the girl, start panicking!
你们听到姑娘的话了赶紧进入慌张模式
**It's amazing how the unexpected*
*人生妙无边惊喜无极限
**Can take your life and change direction*
*劝君莫等闲雌雄随我愿
I checked them all, they all have holes in them.
我都看过了全部都有洞
So all three of our girlfriends might be pregnant?
所以我们三个的女朋友都有可能会怀孕吗
See, man, this is what happens when you buy condoms in bulk.
看到没哥们这就是你批量买♥♥套套的后果
You have babies in bulk!
宝宝也会批量来
Oh, I can't breathe!
我喘不过气来了
Well, isn't this just perfect?
这样不是很好吗
Sam and I are finally together, and now our next date
萨姆和我终于在一起了那我们下一次约会
is gonna be dinner, movie, and an ultrasound.
就是晚餐电影和超声波
But what about me, man?
那我呢哥们
"Oh, hey, Renee, I wasn't sure
"蕾内我不知道
"what to get you for our one-month anniversary,
我们的一个月纪念日送你什么
so I got you a baby!"
那就送你个宝宝吧"
What are we gonna do?
我们要怎么办
I guess we'll just have to tell them.
我觉得我们得跟她们说
No, about my breathing!
不是是我喘不过气的事
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why would we tell them something
等等等等为什么我们现在要告诉她们
when there might be nothing to tell?
可能什么事都没有啊
Right? I mean, it's only a problem
对吧只有说真的有人因此而怀孕
if someone is actually pregnant.
那才能叫做问题
He's right.
他说得对
There might be nothing to worry about.
可能只是虚惊一场
We just gotta find a way
我们只需要想办法
for them to take a pregnancy test
在她们不知道的情况下
without them knowing.
帮她们验孕
I'd help you think of stuff,
我也想帮你们想办法
but there's no blood in my brain right now.
但我脑子现在缺血
Which is exactly how I got in this situation
所以我一开始这副表现
in the first place.
其实是这个原因啦
Is there a non-creepy,
有没有一种不诡异
non-suspicious way to ask a girl
不可疑的方式能让女生
to pee on a stick for you?
帮你在棍子上尿尿
No... no, but look.
没有没有不过你们看
There is a test you can take using just saliva.
有一种验孕棒可以只用唾液检测
Oh, oh, saliva? I'm in!
唾液我要测
Do mine first.
先测我的
Yeah, he especially should not be having a baby.
他是最不该有孩子的那个
Yeah, no.
没错
No, Danny, I can't leave work in the middle of the day
不行丹尼我不能半道扔下工作
to help you lick envelopes.
去帮你舔信封口啊
All right. I'll see you tonight.
好了晚上见
Love you.
爱你
Aw. I know you do.
就知道你喜欢我
Wish I could say it back.
希望我也能爱上你
So, why am I here?
叫我来干嘛
Okay, so the partners finally gave me an assistant--
是这样合伙人总算给我安排了个助理
Here you are, Ms. Perrin,
给你佩林女士
the affidavits for the Murphy case you requested,
您要的墨菲一案的书面陈述书
coffee, black, two sugars, and a reminder
加两块糖的黑咖啡还有提醒你一下
that your meeting starts in five minutes.
五分钟后有个会要开
Uh, actually, I asked for the Torkelson file,
呃其实我要的是特科尔森案子的文件
I drink tea, and my meeting started two hours ago.
我喝茶不喝咖啡会议两个小时前就开始了
Right. Uh, the Harrison file, soy latte,
对哈里森案子的文件豆奶拿铁
and gather everyone in the conference room for your meeting.
还有把所有人叫到会议室去
Wow.
哇哦
Does that kind of incompetence come with a helmet?
这难道就是垃圾中的战斗机吗
He has got to go.
他留不得
I know. I know. All right, that's why I wanted to talk to you.
我知道啊所以才想找你聊聊
I just don't have your kind of cruel,
可我没你那么残忍♥
heartless, go-for-the-throat--
无情一针见血
Stop it, you're making me blush.
别夸了人家都不好意思了
Okay, it's simple. You just have to be direct, okay?
这很简单你直截了当就行明白吗
Roger, can I see you, please?
罗杰麻烦来下办公室
Oh, no, no, what are you doing?
不行你在干什么
I can't. Yes. You can.
我做不到你可以
Just pretend he's a cupcake, and eat him alive!
就把他当做小蛋糕然后一口吃掉
Roger, Ms. Perrin has some unfortunate news for you.
罗杰佩林女士有个不好的消息想告诉你
What is it, Ms. Perrin?
怎么了佩林女士
Uh, Roger, um, I just-- I was just thinking that...
罗杰我我刚在想...
Hey! You got a minute?
嘿你有空吗
I'm just trying out some new appetizers. What do you think?
我刚做了几样新口味试试看
Oh, my God, it's disgusting.
我的妈太恶心了
Yeah, I thought it was gross, too.
没错我也这么觉得
Here, go ahead, spit it out.
来吐出来
All of it. Even the saliva.
都吐出来口水也要
Huh? Danny... Danny, wake up.
丹尼丹尼醒醒
What's wrong, babe?
怎么了宝贝儿
I was just choking on this, this was in my mouth.
这东西刚卡我喉咙了就在我嘴里
Well, you were snoring pretty hard,
你打呼噜特别用力
maybe you sucked it in from the bathroom.
估计是隔空把这从浴室里吸出来了
Roger? What are you doing here?
罗杰你在这干嘛
Ms. Perrin has a client meeting this morning,
佩林女士今早有客户会议
and I gave her the wrong case files yesterday before she left.
可昨天她下班之前我给她的文件是错的
Where's the meeting? At our office.
会议在哪儿开办公室
Where are you coming from? The office.
你从哪儿来的办公室
See where I'm going with this?
明白我的意思了吗
Oh, my God! I'm the worst assistant ever.
天哪没有比我更糟糕的助手了
Roger, why don't you come inside,
罗杰你何不进来坐坐
and we'll have a little chatty-chat
咱们小聊一下
about your work sitch?
你的工作
Uh-oh.
啊哦
Uh-oh? Why did the little girl say "Uh-oh"?
啊哦这个小姑娘为什么说"啊哦"
Oh, I knew it, I'm getting fired.
我就知道我要被开除了
I don't know what's wrong with me.
我不知道自己是怎么回事
Ever since I met the girl of my dreams,
自从遇见了我梦寐以求的女孩
I just haven't been able to focus.
我就无法集中注意力了
So, that's why you've been so bad?
所以这就是你做不好的原因吗
You're in love?
你陷入恋情中了吗
Oh... Roger.
矮油...罗杰
I've always struggled with confidence.
我经常不够自信
I try, but it's hard when no one's ever believed in you.
我努力过但没人信任你的时候很难做到
But I'm sure someone like you has no idea
但我肯定你这样的人
what I'm talking about.
根本不理解我
Sure, I'm confident now.
是啊我现在信心满满
I mean, I could knock you down
我是说只要我想
and take you right here on this couch if I wanted to.
我现在就可以在这张沙发上推倒你