少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S05E02

Part 2 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:19 p.m.

Oh, my god. Is that what I think it is?
老天这不会是我想的那个东西吧
Well, I don't know.
我不知道你想的啥
Do you think it's dope?
你觉得这是毒品[俚语白♥痴♥]吗
You don't have to call me stupid.
你用不着叫我白♥痴♥吧
I just thought it was marijuana.
我不过以为这是大♥麻♥
Oh, god. Okay, listen.
无语了好吧听着
Honey, yes, it is.
宝贝这就是大♥麻♥
And I think you should smoke it.
而且我觉得你该抽抽看
Mom, you know I've never done drugs.
妈你知道我从不吸毒的
I'm a professional athlete.
我是个职业运动员
My body is a temple.
我的身体如教堂般神圣
Yeah, well my body is a temple too.
我的身体也是个教堂啊
But if you see smoke coming out of my steeple,
不过你要是看见我顶尖冒烟
it doesn't mean a new pope's been elected.
可别以为是选出新教皇了
I'll be here all week.
我这周都要在这驻扎了
Mom, you're not being very motherly.
妈你一点没有妈妈的样子
Honey, I'm just trying to help you.
宝贝我就是想帮帮你
This is your career we're talking about.
咱们谈的可是你的事业
You have to take this seriously.
你要认真对待它
Now take this.
那现在就来认真的
Seriously.
对着它吸一口
Thanks, but no thanks.
多谢不必了
I'm just gonna find another way to relax.
我还是换种方法放松吧
Hey.
你在呢
And that way may have just walked in the front door.
另一种方法♥正♥好进门了
Hey! What you doing with my stuff?
你拿着我的东西干什么
Look, Danny, I feel so bad that
是这样丹尼你整夜不眠
you've been awake all night pacing and worrying,
四处踱步心烦意乱让我很难过
And I really want to be there for you.
我真的想在你需要的时候给你支援
But while I'm being there for you,
但在我帮你的同时
I need you to be sleeping here for me.
你也帮帮我晚上安心睡在这儿吧
Ma!
妈
Will you call your friend Mary Jane?
帮我联♥系♥你朋友玛丽·简[大♥麻♥烟]
I got it, I got it. Okay.
我明白我明白好了
Okay, okay, listen. Ready? I'm you. Okay.
听我的我现在是你好吧
If it wasn't for you kids,
要不是为了你们这些小子
I could be a supermodel. Now get me some wine.
我都能当超模了去给我拿酒来
This is good, right? Okay, okay, do me. You do me. Do me.
有意思吧来来装我你装我
Okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay, yeah!
好好好来吧
All right, all right.
好了看着
I've been in love with Riley my whole life,
我从小到大一直深爱着莱丽
even when she was fat.
就算她是胖妞的时候
Oh, my god, it's like listening to a mirror.
老天就像听镜子里讲话
Wait, wait, but mom, wait, how do we know if we're high?
等等妈我们怎么知道我们嗑嗨了
Because I don't feel high.
因为我一点也不觉得嗨
I'm just relaxed, you know?
就是觉得很放松知道吗
I feel like scales on a cosmic lizard gliding
我感觉犹如一只宇宙蜥蜴身上的鳞片
through the universe.
滑行于星际之间
Perfect. I didn't think either of you were going to be here.
太好了没想到你们俩会在家
Now I don't have to drop Emma off
这样我就不用把艾玛
at the babysitter.
放在保姆[坐宝宝的人]那了
Why would you want somebody to sit on your baby?
你怎么会想让人坐在你宝宝身上呢
Is he always like that?
他总爱摆这姿势吗
What are you, Peter Pan?
做啥造型呢彼得·潘吗
He's like-- like...
他这样子...
He's like-- like...
他就像...
He's like a robot, like a Benbot.
像个机器人像个"本"型机器人
I'm Ben Wheeler. Say something else.
我是本·维勒接着说
I'm so mad, I'm gonna put my hands on my hips.
我怒了我要把手放在胯上
Okay, looks like someone's back is feeling better.
好啊看来个别人的背好多了
Danny, you can watch Emma, right?
丹尼你能照顾好艾玛吧
And sit on your baby!
坐在你宝宝身上
I just got that!
这个梗我刚想通哎
Emma, pack your bag! We're getting the hell out of here!
艾玛收东西咱们赶紧撤
Hey, sorry I'm late.
抱歉我来晚了
I went to go pick up Penny some flowers,
我本想给佩妮买♥♥点花
but they were ten bucks, so I ditched that idea.
但花要十块钱我就放弃了
Well, Penny's not coming, Ben.
佩妮不来了本
What? Why not?
啥为啥不来了
Because you're not ready for Penny.
因为你见佩妮还不是时候
Well, then why am I here?
那我来这干嘛
Okay, I did an analysis,
是这样经过我的分♥析♥
and I found that there's one thing
我找到了你过去所有
every failed relationship you've ever had has in common.
失败恋情的一个共同之处
What's that? You.
是啥就是你自己
You have to face the facts.
你得面对事实
I mean, when it comes to meeting women,
一到跟姑娘约会的时候
you're all look and no listen.
你就只盯外在不懂倾听
Thank you.
多谢夸奖
It's... not a compliment.
我不是在夸你
This just proves that we need to build a better Ben.
这说明我们要塑造一个更好的本
All right, so, let's do a little test.
这样我们做个小测验
Hi. I'm Brie.
你好我叫布里[与法式干酪同名]
I'm from Alaska, and I love skiing
我来自阿♥拉♥斯加州喜欢滑雪
and archaeology.
和考古学
Okay, now ask me a question about something I just said.
现在根据我刚才的介绍问我个问题
"Seven days of sexy bras."
"七日性感胸罩"
Riley, go to page 92 real quick.
莱丽快翻到第92页
It's like trying to train a dog to use a typewriter.
简直像是在训练一只狗用打字机
Only harder.
不过比训狗更难
Oh, my god, no!
老天别跑啊
Here we go grab, your foot.
抓起你的脚
Grab it, and...
抓着然后...
Do not take being young for granted.
别拿年轻当资本
Some mornings, my boobs touch my toes before I do.
想当年奶奶的胸可比手先碰到脚趾头
Good morning, ladies.
早上好女士们
Now, who is ready for a beautiful day?
谁准备好迎接这么美好的一天了
Answer: me.
就是我
Because I slept like a guy who--
因为我睡得就像个...
Smoked two joints, ate four pizzas,
吸了两根大♥麻♥烟吃了四份披萨
and told the guy in 2C
还告诉住在2C的人
that culottes are making a comeback?
裙裤要再次流行的人吗
I should not have bought ten pairs of those online last night.
我昨晚不该在网上一口气买♥♥下十条的
But I feel great.
不过我感觉很好
I can't wait to get to practice. Thanks a lot, mom.
我等不及要去训练了多谢了老妈
Bye, honey. Bye.
去吧宝贝拜
Now remember, Emma, drugs are never the answer.
记住艾玛毒品永远不是正确答案
Unless the question is,
除非那个问题是
"How come grandma went to Mexico on her honeymoon
为什么奶奶去墨西哥去度蜜月
and didn't get a tan?"
却没晒黑[暗指总在屋内吸毒]
It's a thinker, it's okay.
随口一说啦不懂没事
Hey, mom, how do I look?
妈我看着帅吗
I'm about to go meet the future Mrs. Ben Wheeler for lunch.
我要去和未来的本·维勒太太共进午餐了
Riley stayed up all night building a better me.
莱丽一夜没睡要打造一个更好的我
And I know what you're thinking,
我知道你怎么想的
"How do you improve upon this?"
你都这么帅了还怎么更帅
Not what I was thinking.
我没这么想啊
But she did, and now I'm ready to meet her.
反正她是这么想的我要去见她了
Okay?
好吗
All right, Emma. I'll see you later. Wish me luck.
好了艾玛待会见祝我好运吧
One more thing.
还有一件事
I know you're the one who wrote "Bonnie rules"
我知道是你在楼道里用喷雾奶酪
in spray cheese in the hallway. Clean it up.
写了"邦妮是老大" 把它清理掉
Well, Bonnie does rule.
邦妮确实是老大
Come on.
来抱抱
Oh, god. Emma.
完了艾玛
Oh, my god, my back.
老天我的背
All right, I'm going down. I'm going down.
好吧我要趴下了我要趴下了
I'm going down. Emma, clear.
我要趴下了艾玛躲开
I'm going down, I'm going down.
我要趴下来我要趴下来