剧集 | 奥卡菲娜是来自皇后区的诺拉 | 导航列表
我知道 你明天早上
I know. Um, did you wanna go
想去买♥♥磨脚器吗
get your PediEgg refill tomorrow, like in the morning?
不 我们得先帮他
Oh, no, we gotta take care of him first.
他需要帮助
He needs help.
我不在乎 我不想帮他
I don't care. I don't wanna help him.
既然这是你的创意
If this was your idea,
那你应该和他一起演讲
then you should pitch it with him.
-好吧 -这才是我的好孙女
- Fine. - Okay, that's my good girl.
靠 他回来了
Oh, shit, he's coming back.
-我能再来一遍吗 -不能
- Can I do it one more time? - No!
艺术布伦达的新消息
完了
Oh, no.
燕尾服的照片很好看啊
为什么删掉 大笑
赶紧完事吧
I just wanna get this over with.
我抖得像叶子一样
I'm shaking like a leaf.
没事的
You'll be fine.
假装你没穿衣服
Just pretend you're naked.
盯着他们的眼睛
Stare-- stare into their eyes.
我要在会议室演讲
I'm pitching in a conference room,
不是在桑拿房♥
not a sauna.
我肯定会搞砸的
You know what, this is gonna be a disaster
我还是走吧 我走了
and I-- I should go, I should go, I'm gonna go.
不 不 我知道你很紧张
No, no, look. I know you're nervous.
好吗 我也是
Okay? So am I.
但是现在才是考验人的时候
But now's the time to see who has a heart.
现在是时候向自己和其他人证明
Now's the time to prove to yourself and everybody else
哪怕你自闭了
that even though you're locked up,
也是了不起的人
you're somebody.
好吗
All right?
你可以做到
That you can do something special
世界上没人能做到的事
that no one else in the world can do.
你要穿过那些门
You get to walk through those doors,
抬起头来
hold your head up high,
把自己当成野马
and call yourself a Mustang!
这是《重振球风》里巨石强森的演讲吗
Is that The Rock's speech from "Gridiron Gang"?
加油 你可以的
Go with it. You'll be all right.
准备好让他们大吃一惊了吗
Are you ready to go up in there and blow them away?
好了
Yeah.
准备好把我爸的老二从网上删掉了吗
Are you ready to scrub my dad's side dick off the Internet?
当然
Hell yeah!
我知道你们在想什么
All right, I know what you guys are thinking.
看看这个可怜 压抑的孩子
Look, look at this poor, very depressing soul
站在那里 害怕得要死
just standing there frozen in fear
因为他嫉妒的前男友
because his jealous ex just posted
刚刚发了一张
a picture of him on all fours
他扮成《佐罗传奇》四肢着地的照片
dressed as "The Legend of Zorro."
太可怕了
Yeah, devastating.
告诉我 你们有这样的照片
And tell me this, how many of you guys
被人发上网过吗
have photos like this up on the Internet?
不是吧 挺自大啊
Really? Cocky bunch.
好吧 没关系
Yeah, okay. That's cool.
因为我搜了你们所有人
Because I googled every single one of you guys
发现了一堆可怕
and found a trove of horrible,
辣眼睛 尴尬的照片
uncompromising, embarrassing photos.
汤姆 2004年万圣节
Tom, 2004 Halloween,
扮成淫♥荡♥《风中奇缘》
dressed as a slutty Pocahontas.
文化麻木加上厌恶女性
Cultural insensitivity mixed with misogyny.
双重惊喜啊
That's a double yikes.
你想不想把这张照片从网上删掉
How would you like to get this photo off the Internet forever?
想 求你了
Yeah, please.
幸运的是 埃德蒙和我
That's why, luckily, Edmund and I
开♥发♥了一个应用
came up with an app we call...
"清洁刷"
...Scrubr.
只要按一下
With a push of a button,
我们的"清洁刷"应用可以永久删除
our Scrubr app can delete any unwanted photo ever
网上不想要的照片
off the Internet for all eternities.
我们使用图像相似性算法
We use an image similarity algorithm to remove
来移除网上所有不好的照片
all your bad photos from the Internet.
每个屁♥眼♥ 每次一♥夜♥情♥
Every bunghole, every one-night stand,
社交网络
每个曝光的错误
every mistake that's ever gone public
这样你搜索自己时
so that never again will you google yourself
就不会有自己喝醉的大头照盯着你了
and have your drunken college mugshot staring back at you.
非常感谢
Thank you so much!
我们很喜欢
Well, uh, we love it.
下一轮融♥资♥
Let's talk about upping your valuation
可以提高一下你的估值
for the next round of funding.
所以会有下一轮融♥资♥
So there'll be a next round.
当然
Oh, hell yeah.
我们很高兴投资了你 埃德蒙
We're very glad that we invested in you, Edmund.
谢谢 汤姆 麦克斯韦 阿玛琳
Thank you, Tom, and Maxwell, Amalin,
里福德 你是布莱森吗
Riford, and I wanna say Bryson?
-杰森 -杰森
- Jason. - Jason.
对了一个音节
Got one syllable.
老实说
Well, to be honest,
这个创意是诺拉帮我想出来的
this didn't really come together until Nora got on board.
说的太好了
That's beau-- That's so beautiful.
虽然我们合作时吵吵闹闹的
It's been a contentious working relationship.
-她 -是有点
- She's... - A bit contentious.
说到这里 这个可以
Speaking of, can I-- Is this up for...?
再见 各位
Bye, everyone.
爱你们
Love you.
够她吃一个月了
That's gonna feed her for a month.
诺拉 这些饺子真的很好吃
Nora, these dumplings are actually really good.
是啊 比你的演讲好多了
Yeah, a lot better than your public speaking.
饺子
Oh, dumplings.
你们都在想我的老二 是吗
You're all thinking about my dick now, aren't you?
-不是 -别想了
- No! - Get over it.
就是个老二嘛
It's a dick.
饺子好吃吗 奶奶
Anyway, do you like the dumplings, Grandma?
是的 很好吃
Oh, yes, they're very tasty.
我真为你骄傲
I'm so proud of you.
我的两个饺子
Oh, my two dumplings!
如果你更爱我就眨眨眼
Just blink if you love me more.
-没事的 他没在看 -我还在呢
- It's okay. He's not looking. - I'm right here.
不 我不能这么做
Oh, no, I can't do that.
奥卡菲娜是他妈谁啊
Who the fuck is Awkwafina?
剧集 | 奥卡菲娜是来自皇后区的诺拉 | 导航列表