非典型少年（2017）

And you ended up getting upset,
你还记得发生了什么吗
and do you remember what happened?
我打了熊猫快餐店的人一耳光
I slapped the nice man at Panda Express,
他们再也不让我们去了
and then we got banned forever.
我们很爱吃他家的宫保鸡丁
And we love their Kung Pao chicken.
但
But...
茱莉娅觉得我准备好了
Julia thinks I'm ready.
这样吧
How about this?
我要是看到什么可爱的东西
How about if I see anything that's cute,
就照下来发给你
I'll take a picture on my phone and send it to you,
你就可以舒服地在家里购物了
and then you can shop from the comfort of home?
主意不错吧
Pretty great idea, right?
不
No.
妈 我不再是小孩了
Mom, I'm not a little kid anymore.
我可以购物
I can go shopping.
我可以自理
I can do things.
当然
Of course you can.
好吧
All right.
我把这忙完就去 好吗
I'm just gonna finish up here, and we'll go, okay?
帮我整理一下杂货吧
You want to help me put away the groceries?
不要
No.
我就没见过这么不上相的家庭了
I have never seen a less photogenic family.
对啊 我们可骄傲了
Yeah, we pride ourselves on that.
-能不看了吗 -不不不
- Can we be done now? - No, no, no.
看这张 看你气的
Oh, look at you in this one. Look at you scowling!
嗯 我当时好烦
Yeah, I was annoyed.
我妈每年都要弄个自闭症健走活动
My mom plans this autism walk every year,
还让我们拍照 记住我们流了多少汗
and makes us take a picture to remember how sweaty we are.
这些多棒啊
Man. These are great.
你♥爸♥怎么不在这里
Where's your dad in this one?
奇怪了 我妈从不让我们翘掉的
That's weird. My mom never lets us skip.
我得盲肠炎的时候 我妈说走走就好了
When I had appendicitis, she told me to walk it off.
爸
Dad.
这是埃文
This is... Evan.
幸会 先生
It's nice to meet you, sir.
谢谢你过来
Thanks for stopping by.
爸 你怎么没参加04年的自闭症健走
Dad, why weren't you at the autism walk in 2004?
-照片里没你 -不知道
- You're not in the picture. - Oh. I don't know.
可能有工作吧
I think I had a work thing.
是吗 老妈因为你工作就没让你走
Really? Mom let you skip it for a work thing?
嗯
Yeah.
你们学完了吗
So, you guys all done studying?
埃文准备走了
Is Evan ready to go?
不 他要带我去训练跑步
No, he's gonna take me to track practice.
我可以带你去
I can take you to track practice.
不用了 他会带我
Well, I don't need you to. He is.
-埃文会开车吗 你会开车 -会
- Evan drives? You drive? - Yes.
-是吗 行车记录怎么样 -很干净
- Really? How's your record? - It's clean.
-没有违规停车 违反交规和假释吗 -没有
- No Parking tickets? Traffic violations? Parole? None of that? - No.
-他偷了个大号♥ -凯西
- He stole a tuba. - Casey.
什么意思 "大号♥" 俚语吗
What's that mean, "Tuba"? What's that, slang?
我们该走了
We should probably get going.
-你该走了 -爸
- Maybe you should get going. - Dad!
你能回避一下吗
Can we have a second?
-好 我在车里等你 -嗯
- Yeah. I'll be in the car. - Yeah.
-搞什么 -我还想问你呢 搞什么
- What the hell? - I say that to you, lady. What the hell?
你干嘛 这么早回来
What are you doing? Coming home early.
对我发脾气 跟老妈似的
All up in my face. Acting like Mom.
我爱你妈 但这话过分了
You know, I love your mom, but that's a low blow.
我只是很担心你
Okay, I just-- You know, I get worried about you.
我不希望你分心
I don't want you distracted.
毁了你的田径生涯
I don't want you to screw up your track career.
我才不会 田径对我很重要
I'm not. Track is important to me.
-是吗 -是啊 别发疯了
- Is it? - Yeah. Stop acting like a lunatic.
晚点说说大号♥的事
We're gonna talk about that tuba thing later, too.
好了
Okay.
-谢你送我过来 -没事
- Thanks for the ride. - Yeah.
我们走来还更快 你开得跟我奶奶一样慢
We could've walked here faster. You drive like my nana.
你看到我车了吗
Have you seen my car?
开太快车上零件就掉了
If I drive too fast, pieces fall off.
你♥爸♥刚才好怪啊
So... that was weird with your dad, right?
嗯 他犯蠢了
Yeah. He's just being stupid.
父亲对女儿的男朋友都这样吧
That's the way dads are with boys their daughters are dating.
这我明白
No, I get that.
我说的是他在错过自闭症健走的事上说谎
I mean, him lying about missing the autism walk.
-你为什么觉得他说谎了 -他就是啊
- Why do you think that he's lying? - Because he was.
很明显的
I mean, it was obvious.
凯西 可能有工作吧
"Casey, I... I had a work thing." you know?
你都不了解我爸
You don't even know my dad.
可能吧 但我对说谎的父亲很有经验
Maybe not, but I've got a lot of experience with lying fathers.
还有母亲
And mothers.
还有叔叔
And uncles.
哪怕我的狗不想出去也会装作想出去
Even my dog pretends he has to go out when he doesn't.
你♥爸♥的事我很抱歉
All right, well, I'm sorry about your dad,
但我爸不会说谎
but my dad wouldn't lie.
他不是这样的人
That's not the way he is.
家里只有他懂我
He's the only one in my family that gets me.
说实话 你要是觉得他太冲
And honestly, if he's acting a little aggro...
可能是因为我跟他说咱俩亲嘴了
it's probably because I told him about our kiss.
你跟你♥爸♥说了 好吧
You told your dad that we kissed. Okay.
嗯 我就是这意思 我们对彼此很诚实
Yeah. See, that's exactly my point. We're honest with each other.
好 这很好啊
Good. That's good.
他没说谎
He didn't lie.
灯好刺眼啊
The light is so harsh in here. It's like...
-你要墨镜吗 -不用
- Do you want your sunglasses? - No.
声音烦不烦
Does that sound annoying?
-你发出的声音挺烦的 -要耳机吗
- It's annoying when you make it. - Do you want your headphones?
不 我挺好
No. I'm fine.
好的 太好了
Okay. Great. Okay.
我们去买♥♥点东西
Well, we'll just grab a few things
然后快去快回 开心愉快
and make this... short and sweet.
肯定会很开心愉快的
Oh, it's gonna be sweet, all right.
扎希德 你来了
Zahid. You're here.
扎希德来了
Zahid's here.
我邀请他的 他是我认识的最有型的人
I invited Zahid, because he's the most stylish person I know.
有时他还戴两只表
Sometimes he wears two watches.
我觉得我也挺有品位
I think I'm also quite stylish.
抱一个 G女士
Bring it in, Mrs. G.
真好
Nice.
长抱啊 好吧 谢谢
Long hug. Okay. Thank you.
你真好闻
You smell amazing.
山姆 你穿这件一定很帅
Sam. This would look very handsome on you.
你适合冷色系
You're such a winter.
茱莉娅说我得自己选衣服 不用你
Julia says I need to pick my own clothes, not you.
茱莉娅算个毛
Well, screw Julia.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
我不是故意这么大声的
I didn't mean to say that out loud.
我明白 妈妈 她好烦
I get it, Mama. She bugs.
我之前也有过这样的同事
I once worked with a guy like that.
气死我了
Really irked me.
-你知道我怎么做的吗 -不知道
- So you know what I did? - No.
我一屁♥股♥坐他车上了
I put my butt on his car.
什么
Excuse me?
我趁他工作时去了停车场
I went outside to the parking lot while he was working,
把内♥裤♥脱了
pulled down my drawers,
我的棕色屁♥股♥坐在了他的车上
and plopped my nut-brown bottom on his car.
那又怎样
And what did that do?
不怎样
Nothing.
但我会永远知道我坐过他的车
But now I'll always know that my butt was on his car,
他还毫不知情
and he has no idea.
这是最终力量