浪女大厨（2014）

仍然有人约他
if he didn't tell them he was rich.
她想证明即使不让别人
And she wanted to prove she can still get dates
知道她胸大 仍然有人约她
without letting guys know she had big boobs.
好吧 所以你们俩在利用
Okay, so you two are using
这两个无辜的人来打赌吗
these two innocent people to win a bet?
-差不多 -没错
- Kinda. - Yes!
你们是谁啊
Who are you?
索菲亚 是我 加比
Sofia, it's me, it's Gabi.
是 我知道你是谁
Yeah, I know who you are! Okay,
我只是觉得你们两个太过分了
I just think you're-- you're acting horribly,
相信我 如果有谁
and trust me, if anyone knows
了解被人玩弄的心情
about people treating other people horribly,
那就是我
It's me!
现在我要去玛蒂娜美容店了 等我回来
Now, I'm going to go to Martina's salon, and when I get back,
这俩人最好已经走了
these two better be gone.
好吧 也许她说得对
Okay, maybe she's right,
我们不应该玩弄他们
we shouldn't be toying with these people.
是啊 他们看着人很好 而我们在耍他们
Yeah, they seem nice. We're playing with their heads.
-我们去坦白吧 -好的
- Let's tell them the truth. - Okay.
莫妮卡 马特
Hey! Monica. Matt.
-我们点了半奶酪半腊香肠的 -好的
- We did half cheese, half pepperoni. - Okay.
别担心 我请客
Don't worry, my treat.
二位 我们其实...
Um, so guys, we actually, uh,
我们有事要告诉你们
we have something that we need to tell you.
乔什 你先说
Josh, you first.
我吗
Me?
好吧
Fine!
但是在说之前 我想先问你点事情
Um, but before I do, um, there's something I'd like to know.
如果我约你第二次 你会答应吗
Um... if I asked you on a second date, would you say yes?
会的
Totally.
如果你发现我很有钱呢
What if you found out I was rich?
什么
What?
对不起 我有一亿美金
I'm sorry. Um... I have a hundred million dollars.
开拖车赚的吗
From tow trucking?
不 更多是作为一个科技巨头赚的
No... more from being a tech mogul.
天啊 知道吗 过去的五年
Oh my god... You know, for the last five years,
我一直因为男人的信任问题在接受心理治疗
I have been in therapy working through my trust issues with men.
现在我总算遇见一个看起来诚实可爱
And now I finally meet someone who seems honest and sweet
善良的人 结果却还是个骗子
and kind, and he turns out to be another liar!
所以没有第二次了 是吗
Okay, so no second date, then?
天啊 没有
Oh my god, no!
该你了 妹妹
Your turn, sis.
马特 我有事要跟你说
Matt, I have uh... something I gotta tell you,
但在这之前 你会...再约我出去吗
but before I do, were you, uh... gonna ask me out again?
绝对会
Definitely.
那如果我告诉你我长这样呢
Well, what if I told you I look like this?
难以置信
Wow. Uh, I can't believe it.
你生气了吗
Are you mad?
开什么玩笑 第二次约会能现在就开始吗
Are you kidding, can the second date start now?
当然可以
Ooh! It sure can.
真打脸 乔什 我赢了
In your face, Josh. I win! I win!
出去的时候能付下房♥租吗
Oh, and can you pay the rent on your way out,
因为已经迟交了 谢谢 再见
'cause it's already late, thanks, buh-bye!
约会这么快就结束了吗
So, date's over already?
你是打完炮就跑了吗
Did ya hit it and quit it?
没有 她抛弃我了
No... she walked out on me.
往好的方面想想吧 起码你没有约个罪犯
Look on the bright side, at least you weren't dating a criminal,
跟那个穿运动服的土妞一样
like that dumpy chick in the tracksuit.
什么 你在说什么
What? What are you talking about?
你怎么知道他是罪犯
How do you know he's a criminal?
他之前来填过求职申请表 选了"重罪犯"
He filled out a job application earlier, and he checked "Felon."
在边上写了 "不是杀人"
Next to it he put, "Not a murderer."
天啊 加比正跟他在一起
Oh my god, Gabi's with him right now.
那个丑女是加比吗
That ugmo was Gabi?
老天 她真是放弃了
Boy, she's let herself go.
加比 加比
Gabi? Gabi!
我没赢
I didn't win.
-给 -谢谢
- Here you go. - Thank you.
真不敢相信
I can't believe it.
马特不是想约我 而是想抢劫我
Matt didn't wanna date me, he wanted to rob me!
他也没拿什么
Hey, I mean... he didn't take anything.
没拿我的
Well, nothing of mine.
什么意思
What do you mean?
你还记得把钱包放到我包里吗
Do you remember how you... put your wallet in my purse?
怎么了
Yeah?
他找到了
He found it.
没事 钱包里的东西都能补
It's okay. You know what, everything in there can be replaced.
只要你没事就好
What's important is that you're safe.
你还记得
Uh-huh, do you remember how
把名表放到我包里吗
you put your really fancy watch in my purse?
你是说我爷爷那块无可替代的劳力士吗
You mean my... grandfather's irreplaceable Rolex?
除非你有两块
Unless you have two!
不 只有一块 只有那块无可替代的手表
Nope, just the one, just the irreplaceable one.
-你生气了吗 -没有
- Are you mad? - No.
你是因为我被强盗捆了 现在很脆弱
Are you just saying that because I'm really vulnerable right now
所以才这么说的吗
because I was tied up by a criminal?
不是
No.
乔什 你要是生气了就直说 我能接受
Josh, if you're mad, I can take it, you can tell me.
我很生气
I'm mad!
你怎么能这样 我可能会受重伤的
How dare you! I could've been really hurt!
这就是重点 加比 你可能会受重伤
That's... the point, Gabi, you could've been really hurt.
那你为什么要吼我
Then why are you yelling at me?
要不是你让我打那个
Because none of this would've happened
愚蠢的赌 这一切都不会发生
if you didn't make me make that stupid bet!
拜托 你都等不及要证明
Oh, please, you couldn't wait to prove
我没有个性了
that I have no personality!
你先挑起来的
You started this whole thing
是你说妹子找我都是为了钱
when you said I only get girls because of my money.
那是因为你太自大傲慢了
Yeah, well, that's because you were being so cocky and arrogant,
我才不想说你聪明 性感
I didn't really feel like telling you how smart and sexy
非常棒呢
and incredible you are!
是吗 那我告诉你
Oh, yeah? Well, let me tell you something.
你个性非常棒
You've got a great personality!
你很贴心 有趣又迷人
And you're sweet, and funny, and charming--
你简直完美
You're the whole damn package!
你也是 女生不惜代价都要和你在一起
Yeah, well... so are you, any girl would kill to be with you!
男生对你也一样
Any guy would kill to be with you!
艾略特 我收到你的紧急短♥信♥了 有什么事吗
Oh, Elliot... I got your 9-1-1 text. What's the emergency?
我还怕你是被卡在什么东西里
I was afraid... that you were stuck in somethin'...
或什么东西卡在你里面了
Or somethin' was stuck in you.
这次没有
Not this time.
都是她的错
This is all her fault.
她想教我怎么帮你梳头
She tried to show me how to do your hair...
但她显然不是个好老师
But obviously she's a terrible teacher!
居然有基佬不会梳头
It's not my fault I got the one gay guy
这怎么会是我的错
who doesn't know how to do hair!
你为什么想学帮我梳头
Why would you wanna learn how to do my hair?
你和埃兰关系那么好
You and Alan are getting so close,
但我俩就没有共同语言
But you and I still haven't found our thing.
我以为这可以成为我俩的语言
So I thought this could be our thing.
但显然我错了
But obviously I was wrong.
抱歉
Sorry.
所以对我这样
So, you did... this,
就是想和我多待一会吗
'cause you wanted to spend more time together?
是吧
Yeah, I guess.
知道吗 你挺奇怪的
You know... you're a weird dude,
但人还不错
But at the same time, I guess you're okay.
真的吗
Really?
这是我听到过最好的话了
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
真暖心
Ohhh, it warms my heart.