浪女大厨（2014）

没有球你就打不了了
You can't take your turn without your ball.
-你是认真的吗 -承认你是我姨妈就好
- Are you serious? - Just tell me you're my aunt.
把球给我
Give me my ball.
-承认你是我姨妈 -把球给我
- Tell me you're my aunt. - Give me my ball.
-承认你是我姨妈 -我是你姨妈
- Tell me you're my aunt! - I'm your aunt!
他们不知道吗
They don't know?
这里有蚂蚁
That there's ants!
蚂蚁 到处都是蚂蚁
Ants, ants, everywhere!
天呐 它们在球上
Oh, my God, they're on the ball!
天呐 抱歉
Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
太抱歉了 克里斯舅舅
I'm so sorry, Uncle Chris.
听到了吗 克里斯舅舅
Did you hear that? Uncle Chris!
加比 别这么沮丧
Oh, Gabi, don't look so down.
为什么 我毁了与舅舅相认的唯一机会
Why not? I ruined the one chance I had to reconnect with my uncle.
还用球砸了他的脚 把他脚趾砸断了
And then I dropped a bowling ball on his foot and I broke his toe.
我把一切都弄砸了
I made a mess of everything.
并不是一切
Not everything.
天呐 你联♥系♥了克里斯舅舅
Oh, my God! You contacted Uncle Chris
告诉他我很内疚
and you told him how horrible I felt
现在他要和我重归于好了
and now he's here to patch things up with me.
也不全是
Not quite.
但小索可不会不留后手
But Lil' So-So don't let go of five Gs
让五千块打水漂
without getting some backup.
你的姨妈可能回不来了 但我们有个新姨妈
We may not have your aunt, but we have an aunt.
这位是西戈尼·西蒙 本地剧院演员
Meet Sigourney Simone, regional theater actress.
这是我的头像和简历
My headshot and... résumé.
不是吧 索菲亚
Really, Sofia?
你觉得随便雇个人来扮演我姨妈就行吗
You think we can just hire someone to play my aunt?
不是一般的人 你们面前的戏剧演员
Not just someone. You're talking to the thespian
最近刚扮演了警报器广♥告♥中的
who recently played the role of "Confused Older Woman"
"糊涂老妇人"一角
in a Life Alarm ad.
我的台词是
My line was,
"我摔倒了 也记不得自己的名字"
"I've fallen, and I can't remember my name."
抱歉 时间紧迫 在分类广♥告♥网找来的
I'm sorry. It was last minute, on Craigslist.
这位克莉丝姨妈是个怎样的角色
So, what can you tell me about the role of Aunt Chris?
首先 我不会这样
Well, first of all, I don't do this.
你就是克莉丝姨妈吗
You're Aunt Chris?
这说不定会是我最棒的角色
This could be my greatest role yet!
非常感谢 西戈尼
Well, thank you so much, Sigourney.
我们会联♥系♥你的中介
We'll have our people call your people.
如果我的经纪人听起来像我 不要觉得奇怪
Oh, if my manager sounds like me, don't let it confuse you.
好 我去撤了那则广♥告♥
Okay. Uh... So, I'm gonna take down that ad
给你俩点私人空间
and give you two some privacy.
克里斯舅舅 你来这干什么
Uncle Chris, what are you doing here?
我不希望我俩以这种方式结束
I didn't like the way things ended between us.
在急诊室那里待了四小时之类的
You know, with me spending four hours at urgent care and all.
真抱歉弄伤了你的脚
I'm so sorry about your foot,
但在我差点帮你出柜之后
but after I almost outed you,
我可能只是太想"了解"你了
I guess I was just trying to "in" you.
抱歉 但十年过去了 我有很多想和你说
I'm sorry, but after 10 years, I had a lot to say.
-我明白 -真的吗
- I get it. - Do you?
是 我不告而别
Yeah. I left without saying goodbye,
你为此很生气
and you're mad about it.
生气
Mad?
是啊 我很生气
Yeah, yeah, I'm mad.
我明白你想离开 重新开始生活
I get that you wanted to move away and start a new life,
但你不必丢下我啊
but you didn't have to cut me out of it!
我妈当时病了 你还丢下了她
My mom was sick and you disappeared from her life.
甚至没参加她的葬礼
And you didn't even come to her funeral.
你怎么能不参加她的葬礼呢
How could you not come to her funeral?
我去了
I was there.
不 你没有 我到处找你
No, you weren't. I looked all over for you.
是吗 你找的是这张脸吗
Really? We're you looking for this?
有道理
Good point.
我当时坐在后面
I sat in the back.
如果我以这副新面孔参加葬礼
Had I come as the new me,
隔天我们就得为你外公
we would have had another funeral
再办一场葬礼了
the next day for your grandfather.
相信我
Believe me,
我真心希望在你妈去世前
I wish I had spent more time with your mom
可以多陪陪她
before she passed away.
我每天都在后悔
I regret it every day.
你长得真像她
You look so much like her.
谢谢
Oh, thanks.
你却不像了
You don't.
你知道我多少次在脸书上查看你的动态
You know how many times that I've looked you up on Facebook?
多少次差点敲了你的门吗
How many times I've almost knocked at your door?
为什么不敲呢
Well, why didn't you?
太难了
Because it was hard.
这整件事...
This whole thing...
你觉得向大家坦白很容易吗
You think it's easy to just tell people?
这会永远改变大家对我的看法
It changes the way they look at you forever.
我就不会
Not me.
是吗 说得你好像不是坐在这
Yeah, right. Like you haven't been sitting here,
一直在试着想象
trying to picture me without this beard
我没有胡子的样子
the whole time I've been here.
我觉得你留胡子真的挺帅
I think you look really good with a beard.
是外婆遗传的好
I take after Grandma!
-我想你 加比 -我想你 克里斯舅舅
- I missed you, Gabi. - I missed you, Uncle Chris.
也很抱歉弄伤你的脚趾
And I'm very sorry about your toe.
我原谅你了 但我的队友们可不会
I forgive you, but my teammates aren't gonna.
球瓶粉碎者没有了我
The Pin Crushers are gonna have to forfeit
会失去明天的比赛资格
the tournament tomorrow without me.
你同意拍厨艺赛视频就不会
Not if you agree to do the video for the contest!
我们碰巧认识一个超棒的球手
We happen to know an amazing bowler!
你还真是一点没变 索菲亚
You haven't changed a bit, Sofia.
你变了
You have!
乔什
Josh!
猜猜现在是什么时间
Guess what time it is.
旧金山最厉害的保龄球手喝沙冰的时间
Smoothie o'clock for the best bowler in San Francisco.
你为什么要说保龄球手
Why did you say bowler?
因为我真的很需要你
Because I really need you.
答案是不行
The answer is no.
而且你说什么也不能让我...
And there's nothing you can say that's gonna make me feel--
加比 你不明白
Gabi. Look, you don't understand.
我知道在你听来可能愚蠢
Okay, I know this might sound silly to you,
但我输掉州决赛的那天
but that day I lost in the state finals
是我人生中最糟的一天
was one of the worst days of my life.
在那之前 我是个幽默外向的小孩
Before that, I was this fun, outgoing kid.
当我输掉比赛 我没了安全感
And when I lost, I became so insecure,
把自己锁在房♥间里
I just locked myself in my room
成天对着电脑玩
and played on my computer all day.
是啊 看看现在结果多棒
Yeah, and look how well that turned out for you.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
乔什 看看周围
Josh, look around!
你是个如此成功的百万富翁
You're a huge, successful millionaire! Okay?
你觉得如果
And do you ever think
你是过去那个快乐有安全感的小孩
maybe if you were happy and secure back then,
还会有这些成就吗
you would have all of this?
还有个愿意不论昼夜都为你做沙冰的
And a personal chef who's willing to make you a smoothie
私人厨师
night or day...
也是个需要你的朋友
and is a friend who really needs you.
沙冰
Smoothie.
你漏了一块
Missed a spot.
我去开
I'll get it.
我知道
I know!
亲爱的 准备好吃午餐了吗
Hey, Sweetie. Ready for lunch?
我马上就来
I'll be right out.
尤兰达 我能借用下戒指 出去吃午餐吗
Yolanda, can I borrow my ring, just for lunch?
我可以借
I would...