工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S01E03
Part 1
June 28, 2021, 1:24 p.m.
里面绝对有东西
There's definitely something in there.
好吧 告诉我怎么回事
Okay, just tell me what happened.
昨晚我照常看<地狱相亲>
Well, I was watching hell date as usual last night,
吃着饼干棒就晕倒了
and I was eating pretzel rods, and I passed out.
我估计是压碎了饼干棒
So I think I, like, rolled on one
弄到了耳朵里什么的
and it broke off in my ear or something.
也许是我趁你睡着打你呢
Or,maybe I've just been punching you in your sleep, dude.
你有想过这个可能性吗
Did you think about that maybe?
完全不合理好吗
That doesn't make any sense.
哦 比你想的合理多了 Anders
Oh, it makes more sense than you even know, Anders.
那好 你打我了吗
Well, so have you then?
够了 - 没准哦
Okay. - Maybe.
好了 不要动
All right, just stay still,
我确实看到你耳朵里有东西
because I definitely see something in there.
那快弄出来啊 - 好的 马上
Well, get it out! - Okay, okay.
深呼吸几下
Just take some deep deep breaths.
Adam 麻烦你把镊子递给我
Adam, can you hand me those tweezers, please?
你要镊子干嘛 大哥 直接
What do you need tweezers for, man? Just...
镊镊更健康 - 谢谢
Tweeze me. - Thank you.
好咧 不要动
All right now, just hold still.
我不想弄裂你的血管
I don't wanna rupture any vessels.
什么
What?
啊 我的天
Oh, sweet Jesus.
啥 啥玩意儿
What? What is it?
我耳朵里是啥
What's in there?
是啥 到底是啥啊
What is it? What? What is it?
是一只小小强
It's a baby cockroach!
不 先生 这不仅仅是条毛巾
No, sir, it's not just a washcloth.
它可以压缩装进工具腰包里
This zips into your utility belt.
而且如果你在船上 它掉进水里也不会沉
And if you're on a boat, it goes overboard, it floats.
我没有把你当小孩 先生
I know you're not a child, sir.
好吧 这生意估计是谈不成了
Well, maybe we shouldn't be doing business.
好吧 好啊 随便啊
Well, that's fine. Fine.
不 好吧 看来我们已经谈崩了
No, okay, well, I guess we're not doing business.
瞅瞅我们家
Check out our house,
看起来像个马戏团帐篷
it looks like a total circus tent.
额
Ugh.
看着像个充满杀虫毒气的死亡陷阱 老兄
That looks like a poisonous death trap, dude.
怎么讲 - 如果我是小孩子
How's that? - If I were a kid,
绝对会去那里面躲猫猫
that's exactly where I would hide.
相比弄成一个小孩想藏身的
Instead of, like, making awesome circus tents
炫酷马戏篷
that kids wanna hide in,
应该在帐篷上写上"作业商店"
they should just write "Homework store" on it,
或者"作业小镇"
or "Homework town."
小孩就不会想进去了
Kids don't wanna go to homework town.
也就不会被杀虫剂弄死了
Dead kid problem solved.
没错 但这样会有学霸死在里面的
Yeah, or then we'd have some dead, really smart kids.
要不是你们把房♥子当成
Well, maybe if you guys didn't treat our house
火人节上的逼一样乱搞
like the piss ditch at Burning Man,
我们也不用去除虫了
we wouldn't have to get it fumigated.
Ders 是你睡前发疯
Ders. You're the bedtime maniac
吃着饼干棒晕过去
who passes out with pretzels
醒来还发现脑袋进虫的好吗
and wakes up with little brain bugs.
不管怎样
Nevertheless...
我们将有三天无家可归
We have nowhere to sleep for three days.
你们够了 正好趁这个机会
Come on, guys, this is our chance
试试我们都没考虑过的露营
to take that camping trip we've never talked about.
没错 "绑"好安全带去基情狂飙(捆绑SM)
Yeah, let's buckle up for some high-speed bro bondage.
是啊 又不要钱 又好玩
Yeah, it's free, it's fun,
也许还能学到点啥
and you just might learn something.
劳驾 能挪一下箱子吗
Excuse me, could you move this box
挡住插线口了
so I can get to the outlet?
没问题 Bob
No prob, Bob.
我叫Bret
It's Bret.
举手之劳 Bret
No sweat, Bret.
哇 - 哇哈
Whoa. - Whoa!
瞧这个
Look at this.
终于找到一件能容纳你
Finally found a t-shirt that's gonna house
惊人"C"杯奶的T恤了 Ders
those bodacious "C" Cups of yours, Ders.
快给我抖动起来 宝贝
Come on, give me a little shake, baby.
来呀 女神 为我们抖动起来吧
Come on, mama. Shake it for us.
就是这样 抖 抖 抖
Yeah! Shake, shake, shake it.
就是这样 - 他怎么做到的
Yeah. - How does he do that?
真棒 - 呜呼
Uh, magnificent. - Whoo, whoo!
来给Bret一件
And let's give one to Bret here.
这是告别礼物 谢了 老兄
It's a parting gift. Thanks, buddy.
谢谢你 - 你应得的
Thank you. - You earned it.
噢 你们就这样对我
Oh, that's how it's gonna be, huh?
同样是工作 那呆瓜就来一天
This nerd show up for one day to do my job,
而我每天都在
I'm here every day...
你们却从没给过我T恤
y'all never gave me a t-shirt.
Montez 那是因为你不是干IT的
Montez, that's because you're not an I.T. Guy.
好吧 我不是干IT的
Okay, I'm not an I.T. Guy.
很好 是谁给他清理色♥情♥网♥站♥连环广♥告♥的 嗯
All right, who took that pornado off his computer? Hmm?
谁给你们超屌♥网络视频的
Who sent y'all all them dope web videos?
记得那个<巧克力雨>视频吗
Remember that chocolate rain, huh?
还有那张gif图
What about that gif
那张企鹅在冰上摔倒的图
where the penguin fell through the ice?
记得 - 记得吧
Yeah. - Remember that one?
还有那个火车王的视频合集
And that Leroy Jenkins joint?
那可是高端货 - 嗯 那个很棒
That was next level. -Yeah, that was good.
但也是五年前出的视频了
But it came out, like, five years ago, so
你太不尊重经典了
you don't respect the classics.
还想怎么着 他去爆菊莫扎特吗
What's next, he gonna butt* Mozart?
恶 - 给你
Ew. - Here you go.
非常感谢
I,I appreciate it.
Waymond 看他们给了我啥
Waymond, look what they gave me.
别动 这不是给你的 走吧
Nuh, ah! That's not for you. Come on.
命里无时莫强求
You always trying to get stuff that's not yours.
你对他真好 - 谢谢 老兄
That was nice of you. - Thanks, buddy.
做得好 - 噢
Good job. - Oh!
你还好吗
You okay?
快 吐出来
Here, spit it out.
你准备好去露营了吗 兄弟
Are you ready to go camping tonight, brother?
知道了 Rick守林员 一切都准备好了
Roger that, Ranger Rick. We are all set.
我从Carl那里搞了些奇科市的迷幻蘑菇
Got those shrooms from Carl that he brought from Chico.
让你嗨翻的蘑菇哦
I'm talking brain melter.
我都不知道要不要嗑这个
I don't even know if I wanna do any.
啥 - 我有点害怕
What? - I'm scared.
好吧 我可以来一点
You know what, I'll do a couple.
哈哈 这才是我的小伙伴嘛
Ha ha! That's my guy.
一两个 不能太多
One or two. Not too many, though.
我要正确对待这些东西
No,no,no,I wanna be appropriate with those, for sure.
要不要现在试一点 - 嘿
Wanna do some right now? - Hey.
嘿 傻♥逼♥们 - 嘿 Alice
Hey, dickholes. - Alice, hey.
你们听说没
So I don't know if you've heard this or not,
附近一带最近发生了一系列
but there's been a series of burglaries
破车盗窃
in cars in the area.
总之 我们要加强安保
Anyway, we're gonna be beefing up security,
我就是告诉你们一声
so I just wanted to let you know that.
我希望不要装语言报♥警♥器
I hope they don't put any language alarms in,
因为你满嘴脏话
because you cuss a lot.
不需要太多的额外安保
You won't need too much extra security,
因为这里已经有"很多刀剑"和"士气"了
because we've already got Sirs vey and Lance right here.
很多 刀剑 士气 (很多道监视器)
Sirs ve, Lance, ve.
这是毛意思
What the * does that mean?
没什么 今晚我可以送你到车里
Anyways, I could walk you to your car tonight
如果你担心盗贼的话
if you were worried about the burglars.
噢 Adam 这真是
Wow. Adam, that would be...
真是太好了呢
actually, that would be really great.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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