工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S01E10
Part 2
June 28, 2021, 1:25 p.m.
那么 枪我留在这儿了
So I'm just gonna leave this here.
你们好好商量一下
You guys talk it over.
我去店后面 等着
I'll be out back, waiting.
去死 但愿如此
To die, hopefully.
好吧 这哥们疯了是吧
Okay, this guy's insane, right?
我是说 我不知道 他是想自杀 对吗
I mean, I don't know. Like suicide, right?
就像 你妈躺在床上快死了
Like, if your mother was on her death bed,
她让你去杀了她
and she asked you to kill her,
你不会找个枕头 然后
you wouldn't just take the pillow, and...
捂死她吗
Smother her to heaven?
Adam 这哥们不是快死了 好吧
Adam, this guy's not dying, okay?
他只是工作不顺
He had a bad day at the office.
这不一样 - 谁知道呢
There's a difference. - Who knows?
不 等等 我还没吃完呢
No, wait. I am not done with that.
里面还有些鱿鱼呢 - 不好意思 真是好吃
There are some calimari - Sorry, it's really good.
我喜欢吃这东西
I love this stuff.
我觉得没必要啰嗦
I don't think that I need to say this,
但是话还是要说清楚
but you guys are you guys,
那么 我们不会杀这个人的 对吧
so we're not going to kill this person, right?
哎 - 你是认真的吗 Adam
Um. - Are you serious, Adam?
不 我不是当真要
No. I'm not really serio--
我也不想杀他 但是
I don't wanna kill the dude but, like...
我们至少商量一下吧
We should talk about it a little bit, right?
一万刀呢
10,000 bucks?
足够给咱买♥♥个热气球了
That's enough to get us our own hot air balloon,
或者喷气雪橇 或者一个酷炫的割草机也行啊
or jet skis, or, like, just a cool riding lawnmower.
你想啊 随便什么 - 你干啥
For the--you know, whatever. - What are you--
你现在就开撒
you're doing that right now?
是啊 这里是卫生间
Yes, it's a bathroom.
你不撒尿才算奇怪
You're the weird one for not pissing.
事实上 这个主意不错 Adam
Actually, that's not a bad idea, Adam,
我确实得嘘嘘一下
I do have to tink.
哦 你瞧 这里贴了报纸的体育版
Oh, look, they got a sports section.
哦 我想看运动版 我面前的是旅游版
Oh, I want sports. I got travel.
憋住 换位置 - 好的
Pinch and switch. - Okay.
你们俩够了 外面有个人
You guys, there's someone out there
要我们去杀了他
that asked us to murder them.
你们这是要去杀人了吗
Are you ready to kill someone dead?
是啊 美国大兵几乎 每天都在杀人
Yeah, American soldiers kill people, like, every day.
你们比美国大兵强吗 伙计
Are you better than American soldiers, man?
想想其他人吧
Like, think about other people.
这逻辑真是无懈可击
Oh, that's airtight logic.
好吧 中东打仗是为什么 哥们
Okay, what is this fight in the middle east all about, dude?
票子 对吧 这又是为了啥
Cash money, right? And what's this about?
也是为了票子
This is about cash money as well.
别拿那个对着我 - 一万刀
Stop pointing it at me! - 10,000 little cash money.
Adam 我同意Ders
Adam, I'm with Ders, man.
说真的 你想要一万刀
I mean, really, if you wanted, like, 10 gs,
直接九百刀一个 口♥活♥十一个男人好了
couldn't you just blow 11 dudes at 9 hundo a pop?
够了 我说的是九千
Okay, I said 9,000--
大哥 这是枪啊
Oh, man! It's a gun!
快走 走 走 走 走 走 走
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
嘿 老大 啥事让你这么烦心
Hey, what's the beef, chief?
年轻人 你们准备下手了吗
All right, boys. Are you ready to do this?
可以就在这儿抛尸
I know just the place to drop my body--
或者至少抛头 - 别说了
or my head at least. - Stop it.
你为什么要我们杀了你
Why do you want us to kill you?
因为很显然 你们有精神病啊
Because you're clearly psychopaths.
呵呵 我是最不可能得精神病的人
Wow, I'm kind of the furthest thing from a psychopath.
九百刀你就能给人吹♥箫♥
So you'd suck a * for $900,
一万刀却买♥♥不了你杀个陌生人
but you won't kill a stranger for ten grand?
够了 我说的是九千刀
Okay, I said 9,000!
好 你想死是吗 - 住手
Okay, you wanna go right now, dude? - Stop it.
呵呵 很明显他有精神病
Okay, clearly he is a psychopath.
我说的是九千刀 - 淡定
I said 9,000. - Relax.
我想问你为什么想死啊
My question is why do you wanna die?
你看不出来吗 我就是个懦夫
Don't you get it? I'm spineless.
我不善经营 快把公♥司♥整垮了
I've mismanaged this company into the ground,
明天还要跟投资人做汇报 但我不敢啊
and I have to tell the investors tomorrow, and I can't do it.
该 该死 早上我打算撞你们的车
H-hell, I tried to jump in front of your car this morning,
但最后一刻我躲开了
but at the last minute I bailed.
我连自杀的勇气都没有
I couldn't even do that.
躲闪汽车 真酷
Car dodging? That's cool.
看完电影<叛逆赢家> 我也干过一次
I did that once after seeing the movie the program.
很棒的电影 你看过吗
So good. Have you seen it?
看过 是我合资拍的电影
Yeah, I actually co-financed it.
真棒 – 看看我
So good. - Look at me.
我应该去公立学校当老师的
I should've just been a public school teacher
跟我那傻瓜老妈一样 - 别这样说
like my idiot mom. - Shouldn't say that.
我快哭了
I'm about to cry.
我真的要哭了 - 你知道吗
I'm really gonna cry here. - You know what?
上车 - 你干嘛
Get in the car. - What are you doing?
那么 你来真的了 - 啥
So you'll do it? - Huh?
你真要杀我了吗 - 呃
You'll kill me? - N--
噢 不 不
oh, no! No.
好
Okay.
这玩意儿 哼哼 - 不 住手
This...Uh-huh? - No! Don't!
你知道么 - 啥
And you know what? - What?
现在只剩四颗子弹了
Now there's only four bullets left.
如果你不上车
And if you don't get in that car,
我就再扔两颗
I'm throwing two more. Yep, yep.
好 哥们儿 冷静 冷静
Okay, take it easy, buddy. Take it easy.
我马上上车
I'm gonna get in the car.
副驾座是我的 - 一切都在我们的掌控中啦
I call shotgun! - Now we're holding the cards.
工作最尼玛无聊 没人喜欢自己的工作
Okay, work sucks. Nobody likes their job.
除了杰米福克斯(歌♥手兼演员) - 嗯 对
Except Jamie Foxx. - Right, that's true.
我们工作就是为了周末放假
But we work for the weekends.
今天才周四
And we know today's Thursday,
但哥们 我们今晚像周五一样 搞个派对
but we're gonna party like it's Friday, dude.
今天才周三 - 是嘛
It's Wednesday. - Is it?
好吧 不管怎样 就这么愉快地决定了
All right, well, it is settled.
我们要给你搞个派对
We are gonna throw you a party
保证爽到你再也不想自杀这回事了
that is just gonna make you wanna live the rest of your life.
下车
Now get out.
我不下呢
Or what?
好 好 好 我下车
Okay, okay, okay! I'm going.
嘿 老板 我能开你的豪车去买♥♥酒么
Yo, boss, can I borrow the whip and go to the liquor store?
拿去吧
Keep it.
希望你回来的时候我已经挂掉了
Hopefully I'll be dead by the time you get back.
谢谢 但别开这种玩笑
Thank you, but don't joke about that.
我去买♥♥点酒和多力多滋
I'll get some booze, some doritos collisions.
让我们的派对不醉不休
Get this party torqued.
我是去买♥♥多力多滋和酒
I'm gonna get the collisions, maybe some booze,
但主要还去飙豪车爽一把
but I'm really gonna go for a joyride.
哇 Ders 你真狂野
Wow, Ders. You're a wild man.
我知道
I know.
哦 呼 呼
Whoo-hoo-hooo!
今晚的派对将会很诡异
Tonight's party is gonna be weird.
好到诡异 - 是的
In a good way. -Yes.
会非常非常棒的
It is gonna be so awesome.
你想要什么 尽管提
Anything you want, man, you name it.
反正是花你的钱
It's your credit card.
你知道什么最酷吗
You know what'd really be cool?
一枪崩了我
Putting a bullet through my face.
唉 - 你知道吗
Okay. - You know what?
我很乐意帮你解脱
I would love to just end your suffering,
真的 我很乐意 我都听你的
I really would. I would, I'm your guy.
如果你单找我 不喊上他俩
If you would've caught me without these two,
你早就死在某个小巷子里了
you would've been dead in an alley somewhere.
但是呢 既然我杀不了你
But what would you wanna do for fun
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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