工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S01E01
Part 4
June 28, 2021, 1:23 p.m.
你手里还有点儿吧 还剩了点儿尿吧
You got some, right? You got some pee?
是啊 - 好 这儿
Oh, yeah. - All right, here, here.
把它弄到这里面
Just put it in here.
来吧 - 这也不够啊
Here we go. - It's not enough.
Ders 调头回去
Hey, Ders, just turn the car around.
我们还是回办公室去 把这事赶快了结掉吧
Let's go back to the office, get it over with.
好吧
Yeah, all right.
真是报应啊
Karma is for real.
不 妈妈 我是说我可能要向你借点钱
No, mom, I'm saying I might have to borrow some money.
去吧
There you go.
他尿尿水平一流
He's awesome at peeing.
看看你俩如何
But let's see how you do.
等等 等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
你们尽可能拖得久一点 越久越好
Take as much time as you can.
喂
Hey.
我说了 我们走
I said, "Let's go."
喂 Jillian 我想到个法子
Hey, Jillian, I got a plan.
你要不要加入 - 绝对的
Are you in? - Hell, yeah.
兄弟如手足 女人如衣服
You know it's bros before hos.
那太好了 等着瞧吧 混♥蛋♥们
Yippee-ki-yay, mother cluckers.
我能喝点水吗
Can I get some water?
对啊 我渴得要死
Yeah, I'm parched.
好吧
Yes, fine.
快一点
Make it fast.
我说了快一点 快过去
Hey, I said fast. Get there now!
到屋顶上来
"Come up to the roof,
咱们一起 抽点麻烟
we'll get together, smoke a few blunts."
嗨 Robbie 你好啊
Hey, Robbie. Hey, how's it going?
我想跟你说点事
Um, listen, I wanted to talk to you
很快就好 没关系吧
about something real quick. Is that okay?
快一点 说吧
Make it quick. Go.
别担心 就几句话
Oh, it's totally quick.
我看你这是要往
I see that you're on your way
洗手间去啊
into the bathroom,
但是你现在不会想进去的
and you don't want to go in there right now.
因为
'Cause...
现在是基佬时间
It's gay time.
现在洗手间里在搞基佬时间
It's gay time in the bathroom.
如果你进去 你就成基佬了
And if you go in there, then you'd be gay.
嘿 挤眼妹
Hey. Twitchy.
啊 - 你磕了什么药
Huh? - What drugs are you on?
不 那个 没有
Not... some... none.
好吧 别管她 我待会儿就测试她去
All right. No, no, I'm gonna do her next.
好 别故意尿到杯子的外沿
All right, try not to pee on the cup intentionally.
我等会儿还得用手去碰它们
I have to touch them afterwards.
对咯 小伙子们 想想你们妈妈是怎么教你们的
That's it, boys. Just like your mama taught you.
好了吗
All done?
没 还差得远呢
No. Not even close.
喂 那声音是从你嘴里发出来的吧
Hey. You're doing that with your mouth.
我闻到了失业的味道哦 小伙子们
Wow. That smells like unemployment, boys.
现在打算怎么样
So what's the deal?
等会儿回来 拿上自己的东西
You gonna come back later, get your stuff,
然后踏上羞耻之途
sort of do the walk of shame?
是不是 - 对啊 差不多像那样
Is that it? - Yeah, something like that.
嗯 不错
Okay, cool.
嘿 - 哦 不好意思
Hey! - Oh, no, sorry.
我也看到了 我先出手的
I get that too. That's my tip.
好极了 - 是呀
Great. - All right.
好好享受吧 - 我会的 拜拜
Enjoy that. - I will. Bye-bye.
跟你们合作很愉快
Nice doing business with you guys.
好了 回见呐
All right, see ya.
沾屎的钱 贱♥人♥
Poop dollar, biotch!
你们认为这样很好玩吗
Oh, you think that's funny, huh?
我可还没丢饭碗
I still have a job.
我可是Robbie 西部第一
I'm Robbie! I'm best in the west!
告诉我 一个人是怎样把事情
Tell me, how does one screw up
办得这么糟糕的
this badly?
我知道检测结果
I understand the results
有点儿出乎意料
were a little off.
是吗 每个职员都检测出对以下药物呈阳性
Oh. Every employee has tested positive for the following:
大♥麻♥ 摇♥头♥丸♥
Marijuana, mdma,
苯环哌啶 人体生长激素 立普妥
pcp, hgh, Lipitor,
安非他明 日用感冒药 夜用感冒药
Adderall, dayquil, nyquil...
怎么会有人同时吃日用和夜用的药啊
Why would anyone take both?
一氧化二氮 苯♥丙♥胺♥ 盐酸万乃洛韦 坦洛新
Nitrous oxide, benzedrine, Valtrex, Flomax,
西力士 还有节育药
Cialis, and birth control.
真是谢谢你提起这茬啊 伙计
Thanks for bringing that up, buddy.
我不能生育 不需要什么节育药
I can't have kids. Don't need birth control.
我不知道 - 听着 我要你现在
I didn't know. - Look, I want you
跟你那小破推车一起
to get on your hobby cart
给我滚出办公室
and ride your ass out of this office
否则我就把Orlando的吸尘器拿来
before I grab Orlando's vacuum
把它调到最大 推着你的屁♥股♥出去
and I shove it up your ass on full suction.
跟您合作很愉快
It was great doing business with you.
Jillian
Jillian!
嗨 您需要什么
Hi. How can I help?
闭嘴 我要你起草一份邮件
Shut up. I need you to draft an email
告诉所有职工 我们对药检的失误表示抱歉
to all employees apologizing for today's drug test.
这检测结果一点说服力都没有
The results were inconclusive,
我们明天要重新进行检测
and we're gonna have a new round tomorrow.
这次拿一缕头发就好
Just a strand of hair.
你还盯着我♥干♥嘛
Why are you still staring at me?
我很遗憾 你不能生孩子的事 我不小心听
I'm sorry about the kid thing. I couldn't help...
你怎么还不开始起草
Why aren't you typing?
我住的公♥寓♥楼里也不允许养宠物
I can't have pets in my apartment building.
所以 好的
So... Right.
邮件 头发 知道了
Email. Hair. Got it.
她拿着太空果
She had a space nut
像个太空人
like a cosmonaut
你又知道啥
whatcha know about me being
我是太空机械人
the cosmo robot.
哇哦
Whoa.
手♥机♥在手 功能全有
I've got a phone with capabilities.
邮件一来 全都拜拜
If I get another email, it's the end of me.
该死
Damn it.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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