工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S01E10
Part 1
June 28, 2021, 1:25 p.m.
好了 有一个严肃的问题
All right, I got a serious question.
给你十万刀你会吸男人的老二吗
For $100,000 would you suck a man's penis?
男人的吗 不好说啊
A man's penis? I don't know.
你可以自己选人 - 对
You get to pick the dude. - Yeah.
我有鸡鸡最终决定权喽 - 都是你的
So final dick approval? - All yours.
鸡鸡随我选吗
Choose any dick I want to?
谁的都行 除了我和Blake的
Whoever's dick, except for me and Blake's.
好的 - 其实我们也
All right. - Well...
那行 可以 绝对没问题
Then yeah, totally. Definitely.
好 - 十万刀呢
Okay. - Uh-huh, 100 gs?
我会干的 一大笔钱啊 - 呜呼
Yeah, I think so. that's a lot. - Whoo!
好 那七万五怎么样
Okay, what about $75,000?
行的 没问题
Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure.
我们来玩儿真的 五千呢
Let's get real. Five grand?
也行 - 真的吗
Yes. - Really?
我分分钟就能买♥♥到一辆
I'd be 30 seconds away from getting
漂亮的二手摩托车了
a pretty sweet used motorcycle.
不 分分钟怎么可能 哥们
No, it would take you way longer than that, dude.
不 我觉得 - 你以为你是谁
No, I think-- - Who do you think you are?
你开什么玩笑呢
Are you kidding me right now?
你见识过我的娇唇吗 - 见过
Have you seen these lips? - I have.
你享受过我吃波兰熏肠的风姿吗 - 没有
Have you enjoyed the presence of me eating a kielbasa? - No.
闪瞎狗眼 - 喔
It's ridonk. - Wow.
超凶残 女孩都说"口♥活♥真不简单"
It's weird. Girls are like, "I'm impressed by that."
好吧 等下
Okay, hold on.
至少要出多少钱
What is the absolute least amount of money
你才会给男人吹♥箫♥
you could get paid to blow a guy?
问得好 - 说老实话吗
Now we're talking. - If I'm honest with myself?
是啊 - 那我要
Yeah. - I'd have to say...
九百刀
$900.
哦 天啊
Oh, my God!
哇哦 - 哦 我的天
Whoa. - Oh, my God.
等下等下 - 那是个
Wait, wait. - Was that a--
你怎么样 - 你没事吧
Are you okay? - Are you all right?
呃 没事 没问题
Uh...Yeah, yeah. I think so.
能帮我 - 来了 伙计
Could you give me a...? - Got you, buddy.
不要紧 别担心
No sweat. Don't sweat it.
你刚说了九百刀吗
Did you say 900 bucks?
不是 我说的是九千 我说九千
No, I said $9,000. I said $9,000.
我听你说九百
I heard $900.
不 我说的是"千" 哥们
No, I said "Thousand," Dude.
我是有节操的 不会随便给人吹♥箫♥
I've got standards, I'm not just blowing everybody.
成熟点
Grow up.
听着 我想到一个
All right, I got one.
给多钱你才能给你妈脸上来一拳
How much to punch your mother in the face?
而且是真动手 打晕她
And you really gotta try and knock her out.
三万 放倒那娘们妥妥的
30 grand, I'm laying that chick out cold.
可爱的女人 不过 啪
Lovely woman, but...Pow!
哥们 人都哪里去了
Dude, where is everybody?
感觉跟星期六一样
It's like a Saturday or something.
是啊 真的 今天是翘班日吗
Yeah, really. Is it a ditch day?
有这说法吗 哦 我们应该发起个翘班日
Do we have those here? Oh, we should start a ditch day.
就这么干 - 对啊 应该这么干
Let's do it. - Yeah, we should.
失手 - 哦
Fumble! - Oh!
你♥他♥妈♥逗我玩呢
Are you * kidding me right now?
你们干什么呢 其他人都在会议室呢
What are you doing? We're in the conference room.
他来了 - 谁来了
He's here. - Who's here?
Bruce Benson来了 Adam 公♥司♥的执行总裁
Bruce Benson, Adam. The CEO of the company.
从没听说过
Never heard of him.
你们没查工作邮件吗
Didn't you check your work email?
工作邮 那东西存在吗
Work em--is that something that's real?
工作邮件 - 没什么好担心的
Work email? - I wouldn't worry about this.
我确定我们能把执行总裁迷得神魂颠倒
I'm pretty sure we can charm the CEO's pants off.
大家早上好
Good morning, everyone.
我是Bruce Benson 对 传说中的Bruce Benson
I'm Bruce Benson. Yes, that Bruce Benson.
电美公♥司♥的执行总裁
The CEO of Telamericorp.
明早有公♥司♥的投资人年会
So our annual investors meeting is tomorrow morning--
咱们走吧 - 我有一个重要的声明
let's go. - And I have a big announcement
事关你们的未来
that will affect all of your futures.
所以我觉得你们应该首先知道
So I think you deserve to hear first that...
午饭我请
Lunch is on me!
每个人一份Hardee's(品牌快餐)
Hardee's for everyone!
是Hardee's 还是 Arby's(另一品牌快餐)
Hardee's or Arby's?
我希望别是Hardee's
I hope it's not Hardee's.
听说他们的薯条是老鼠尾巴炸的
Heard their fries are just rat tails.
嗨 我是Bruce Benson
Hey. Bruce Benson.
这手表真漂亮
That's a beautiful watch.
哦 这么着 手表归你了
Oh, you know what? It's yours.
哦 谢谢你 先生 - 等等 不能给你
Oh, thank you, sir! - Wait, you can't have it.
除非你把衬衫也拿走
Not without the shirt too.
这老板真是屌♥爆了
What a cool ass boss.
喔 喔 喔 - 嘿 嘿
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Hey, hey.
你们去哪 - 我们电♥话♥跑了
Where are you going? - Our phone is runni--
我们车响了 额
our car is ring-- egh.
我得走了 去健身干嘛的
I gotta go. Work out or something.
不管了 他要和每个人见个面
Well, whatever. He wants to meet everybody.
你们就微笑 尽量表现正常一点
So just smile and try to act normal.
嘿 - 哦 天呐
Hey. - Oh, my God.
Benson先生 很高兴再次见面
Mr. Benson, good to re-meet you.
我们刚见过面 记得吗
'Cause we met each other earlier, do you remember?
我记得啊 - 哦 太好了
I do remember. - Oh, good.
说明你没伤到脑袋 呜哦
So then you don't have any brain damage--whew!
我们很担心 我们很担心你
We were worried. We were worried about that.
是啊 你们在说什么呢
Yeah, what are we talking about?
我们今天早上不小心开车把他给撞了
We accidentally hit this guy with our car this morning,
这真是 真是太搞笑了
so we're just... It's hilarious.
所以笑个不停 - 怪我们
So we're laughing. - Our bad.
这不搞笑
It's not funny.
这三个神经病差点撞死我
These three psychopaths almost killed me.
午餐 去Maxwell's
Lunch, Maxwell's.
我们要讨论一下你们在这家公♥司♥的未来
We're gonna discuss your future at this company.
老板真是屌♥爆
What a cool ass boss.
Benson先生 你好啊
Mr. Benson, hello.
嘿 饭好吃不
Hey, how's your food?
嗯 卖♥♥相不错 - 刚嚼完啊
Mm, looking good. - Finish chewing.
休闲西装不错嘛 - 哇哦
Nice blazer. - Whoa.
我们还是切入正题吧
Let's just cut to the chase.
等一下 在你开口之前
Wait, before you say anything,
希望你能了解
just wanna let you know
我们知道今早的初次见面不太顺利
we know we got off to a rocky start this morning.
嗯 嗯 - 但是开车撞人
Mm-hm. - But it is so natural
真的很正常
for people to hit people in cars.
是啊 真的 这事常有
Yes, it's truly--it's just something that happens
如果你 如果你还活在世上
if you--if you live in the world.
你也难免的
So you do.
坐下来听着
Just sit and listen.
你正一步步犯下大错啊
Saying you're making a mistake here.
哇 太残酷了
Wow, this is so harsh.
我不能回Hot Topic(潮牌服装店)工作
I cannot go back to working at Hot Topic,
他们竟然要求我剪头发
because they said I have to cut my hair,
但天地可鉴他们走的是朋克摇滚风
and I could've sworn their thing was punk rock.
嘿 嘘
Hey! Shh.
我不会炒你们鱿鱼
I'm not gonna fire you.
好吧
Okay.
太好了 - 哦 老天
Great. - Oh, my gosh!
我以为他铁定要炒了我们
I thought for sure he was gonna fire us.
喔
Wow.
我想给你们一万刀来杀了我
I wanna pay you $10,000 to kill me.
什么 - 啊
What? - Huh?
真的吗
That's real?
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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