工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S01E03
Part 2
June 28, 2021, 1:24 p.m.
真的吗
Really?
不 你个傻♥逼♥ 当然是假的 - 啊
No, you *head. Of course not. - Ah.
你以为去提车的时候
You think walking to my car
跟着个1米2的小屁孩
with a four-foot 12-year-old
真能吓走坏人吗
is really gonna spook away any bad guys?
做梦吧 - 1米2的小屁孩
I don't think so. - Four-foot-tall 12-year-old...
我卧推220 所以 随你怎么说吧
I can bench press 220, so whatever.
闭嘴 Adam - 说得对
Just shut up, Adam. - Right on.
嘿
Hey.
结果整个露营地
And it turns out the whole entire camp...
都在闹鬼
Was haunted.
哦 真可怕
Oh. That was scary!
兄弟 你刚刚真是Mike Salomon上身
Bro, you totally just M. Mike Salomon-ed me.
M. Mike他超会讲故事
M. Mike. Now he's a real storyteller.
哥们 再讲一次那个故事
Dude, tell that story again.
但这次
But this time...
边嗨边讲
On shrooms.
哦 好滴好滴
Ooh. Okeydoke.
别这样 我不想再听一遍
Please don't, I don't need to hear about
一个男的如何被圆锯强♥暴♥了
how some guy is getting raped with a buzz saw again.
不 是链锯 Ders
Uh, it was a chainsaw, ders.
鬼怎么可能用圆锯去强♥暴♥人啊
How's a ghost gonna rape someone with a buzz saw?
笨蛋 - 管它什么锯
Idiot. - Either way,
来试试Carl这恶心的毒蘑菇
come get some of Carl's grody toadstools.
不错啊 - 嗯嗯
Yum. - Mmm.
嗯 - 嗯
Mmm. - Mmm.
Ders 你要来点吗
Ders, you want in on this?
我觉得Ders来点小麦就好
I think Ders should maybe take a little naparoo.
我们一起冲着月亮狼嚎吧
Let us wolves howl at the moon like we do.
嗷呜
Ow!
请叫我戴墨镜的狼大王
I'm a coyote with sunglasses.
好的 大王 汪汪
Yeah, you are. Woof.
够了 首先 蠢货们
Okay, first of all, dickheads,
我不会七点四十五就睡觉
I'm not going to bed. It's 7:45.
其次 既然你们喝光了我的咖啡酒
And secondly why do you think I would let you drink all my Kahlua
我也该礼尚往来嗑点你们的药
and not expect me to want some of your drug stuff in return?
这玩意儿能让你嗨成这样
This will make your brain go all like...
你可受不住
you can't handle that.
Adam 嗑药我玩得起
Adam, I can do a drug, okay?
迷幻蘑菇不在话下
I can drop shrooms.
况且 我不想整夜当你们的老妈子
Plus, I don't wanna babysit you guys all night.
Adam 给Ders吧
Hey, Adam... Ders gonna have one.
乖狗狗 好狗狗
A little doggy, a little pup.
但你嗨了别在我身上撒欢
But hey, don't you flip out on me.
我可不想挨你的肘子
I don't want you just throwing bows, okay?
淡定地嗨
Gotta be cool.
Blake 我超级淡定的
Blake, I'm a pretty cool guy.
都给哥瞧好了
Get with the showgram.
我觉得这尝着像肉桂嘎嘣脆麦片
To me, they taste like cinnamon toast crunch.
但没加肉桂
Minus the cinnamon.
也不嘎嘣脆
And the crunch as well.
天呐 你们经常嗨这个吗
Oh, my God, you guys do these a lot?
味道真恶心啊
'Cause they're gross.
跟想象中侏儒怪的味道一样
It tastes like what I think Rumpelstiltskin might taste like.
超赞对不 - 哦 绝对的
They're good, right? - Oh, yeah.
有没有觉得自己的腿像布丁一样
Do your legs feel like puddings?
人生的泳池我游啊游
Swimming in the swimming pool of life.
假设这是原子核
Imagine this is the nucleus,
我们都是神经元
and we're all little neurons.
我们在灯塔里吗
Are we in the lighthouse?
你会风靡全球吗
Will you take this world by storm?
帅哥,帅哥
You,pretty boy.
*你是我的星星*
*You are my star.*
*我喜欢消磨夏日*
*I like spending the summers*
*和女朋友一起逛街*
*In the mall with my girlfriend.*
*黄色星星*
*The yellow star*
我滴天呐 天呐
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
这次向着已故的伟大演员约翰坎迪 冲啊
This one goes out to the late, great John Candy, mon!
我们是雪橇队
We are the bobsled team.
嘿呦喂 嘿呦喂 嘿呦喂
Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma coo sa.
是我嗨晕了 还是那里真有两个人
Am I tripping, or did I just see two dudes in there?
不速之客上门了
We've got company.
抓住 接住 接 接 接住
Take it. Get it, get it, get it, get it.
谁在那儿 Adam吗 - 接住了
Ow, who is that? Adam? - That's okay.
Adam?- 快 快 快 - 轻轻放下来
Adam?- Go, go, go. - Let it down easy.
轻点 - 不要吵
Let her down easy. - Shh, quiet.
传说中的盗贼就在眼前
There are actual robbers here right now!
还不来个人帮我放气
Is anyone gonna help me deflate this?
您是要来个魔毯之旅吗
Oh, so now you wanna go on a magic carpet ride, huh?
我只是在想逃出去的办法
I just wanna have a plan to get out of here.
我们装作也在偷东西
We could start robbing the place ourselves,
等撞见那些窃贼就说
and then when we see the burglars we can be like,
"干嘛呢这是 偷东西呢"
"What are you guys doing here? You guys are burglaring this?
"不好意思今天我们包场了"
I thought we had this today."
你有病吧 我要报♥警♥了
Are you insane? I'm calling the cops.
恶 你就作吧
Ugh. Get over yourself.
你搞什么啊
What the hell are you doing?
你不能打电♥话♥
Okay, no. All right?
因为我十分确定
Because I'm pretty sure
我们比盗贼犯的事儿更多
we have broken more laws than the burglars.
我们这是私闯办公室
We're trespassing,
我在女厕所干了些不可说的事情
I did some things in the girls bathroom I shouldn't talked about.
我们还有这么一大包毒品
and we have a ton of drugs.
有吗 这个交给我搞定
Do we? I can take care of that for us.
就当是为了兄弟两肋插刀
Teamwork for my friends.
现在不是干这个的时候好吧
Okay, is that the smartest thing to do right now?
还嫌自己不够迷幻吗 - 是呀
Get more shroomed out? - Mm-hmm.
Ders 这就是我们的<博物馆奇妙夜>
Ders, this is our Night at the Museum, okay?
你眼前的这个展品 要活过来了
And this exhibit, he's coming to life.
你到底吃了多少迷幻蘑菇
How many shrooms have you dropped?
很多 - 到底几个
A lot. - How many?
你到底吃了多少
How many shrooms have you dropped?
你到底吃了多少
How many shrooms have you dropped?
超级多 - 嘿 我有办法了
A lot. - Hey, I've got it.
既显而易见 又简单可行
It's so obvious, it's so simple,
而且他们绝对想不到
they'll never see it coming.
那就是直接从正门走出去
Let's walk right out the front door.
Blake
Blake!
你是我见过最聪明的人
You're the smartest guy I know.
你简直就是博杰克逊 - Adam
You're like Bo Jackson. - Adam...
小声点
Inside voices.
天呐 我们死定了死定了死定了
Oh, my God, we're dead. We're dead, we're dead.
Ders 我们不会被杀的
We're not gonna get murdered, Ders.
不会被满脸满身捅得开花而死的
We're not gonna get stabbed repeatedly in the face and body, and left for dead.
Adam 整栋楼都锁了
Adam, the entire building is locked down.
正门是唯一的出口
The front door's the only way out.
我觉得他们还有人带枪了
I think one of those guys had a gun on his person.
我又想到了 显而易见 简单易行
No, that's it. It's so obvious, it's so simple.
他们绝对想不到的办法
They'll never see it coming.
从最大的正门走出去
We go through the biggest front door of them all...
也就是房♥顶
The roof.
快上来
Let's go.
嘘
Shh.
好了 逃生梯在哪
Okay, cool, where's the fire escape?
好吧 虽然没逃生梯
Well, there is no fire escape,
但你或许听过一个经典童话 作者是
but maybe you've heard of the classic tale by...
谁写了<长发公主>来着
Who wrote Rapunzel?
你瞎扯啥呢
What are you talking about?
不管了 我要跳了 兄弟
Whatever, I'll jump. I don't care, dude.
慢走不送 - 别 别 我认真的
Please do. - No, no, I'm serious.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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