工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S01E02
Part 3
June 28, 2021, 1:23 p.m.
等下 奥查塔桶到底是个什么东西
Wait a second, so what is horchata, exactly?
可以把它看做提神的墨西哥式柠檬汁
It's like a refreshing mexican lemonade.
不 不 这可不是我以为的东西
Oh. No, no, no. This is not what I thought it was.
我的天 这闻起来 闻起来就像猫屁
Oh, my... smells like... that smells like cat farts.
和猫屁一模一样
That smells exactly like a cat's fart.
到你大显身手的时候了 体力挑战啊
Your time to shine. Physical challenge.
我看这活儿我没法干
I don't think I want to do it anymore.
别这样 伙计 你做得到的
Oh, come on. You got this, boy. Yeah!
Ders 加油 - 为了凯雷德 凯雷德啊
Let's go, ders. - Escalade. Escalade.
凯雷德 凯雷德 呼
Escalade. Escalade. Whew.
嘿 嫩叫神马名纸
Hey, hey, como te llamas?
你叫什么名字 - Anders Holmvick
What's your name? - Anders Holmvick.
啊哎 让我们欢迎Andreas上场
Ahai! Let's give it up for Andreas!
加油 - 加油 Andreas
Yeah! - Yeah! Andreas! Yeah!
好样的 - Andreas 加油
Yeah! - Andreas, let's go!
我的天
oh, my god.
20分 加油 你没问题
20 point. Come on, bud. You got this!
我从来没有拿过20分 - 别抱怨了 兄弟
I never went 20 point. - Suck it up, dude!
我的第三恋还等着我呢 快点吧
My third love's on the line. Let's go!
她连你的存在都不知道
She didn't even know you existed.
全世界还不知道Ludacris会表演呢
Did the world know Ludacris could act?
你说什么 - 他还演了<速度与激♥情♥2>呢
What? - Huh? 2 fast 2 furious, bro.
演得特别烂 开始计时 快开始
He murdered it. Start the clock. Start it.
加油 Ders - 要多少时间才能赢
Go, Ders! - What's the time to beat?
你不能把他按进水里 美♥国♥佬♥
Hey, you can't hold him under, gringo.
那是违规的 - 好的
That's against the rules. - Okay.
你是疯了吗 - 为爱疯狂 Anders
Are you crazy? - Crazy in love, Anders.
Blake 我们走 - 那 那他
Blake, let's go! - What... what about...?
Blake 你是我在世上最好的朋友
Blake, you're my best friend in the world.
我现在需要你在我身边 我们走
And I need you here with me now. Let's go!
这大概是我一生中最悲惨的一天了
Well, this is probably the saddest day of my life
我没法知道我和Chelsey生出的
'cause I'm not gonna know what me and Chelsey's.
小Niederdeppy长什么样了
Little Niederdeppy babies are gonna look like
因为他们没机会出生了
'cause they're not gonna be born, man.
这都是你的错
And that's on you.
你就是个超时空堕胎特警
You're basically an abortion timecop.
没错 老兄
Yeah, dude.
Adam 你今早差点把我淹死
Adam, you almost drowned me this morning.
不是说你能 因为我根本不可能溺死
Not that you could because I can't be drowned.
溺死 是被溺死吧 兄弟
Drowned? It's drowned'ed man.
接下来怎么办
What's the plan?
因为我想去见Marc Summers
'cause I need to meet Marc Summers.
谁在乎你要见谁 我还想开开凯雷德呢
Dude, who cares? I'm trying to ride in an Escalade.
你们有近距离看过凯雷德吗
Have you seen an Escalade up close?
咱就咬咬牙去问Montez吧
Let's just bite the bullet, go ask montez.
你不觉得我们早就应该这么做吗
Don't you think we should've done that earlier?
但今早你浪费了所有人的时间
But you wasted everybody's time this morning.
就因为你觉得自己不能在奥查塔桶里憋气
With your whole "I can't get in horchata."
Montez 你的胡子看起来真精神
Montez, that mustache is looking good, dude.
真有型
Sharp.
是啊 如果我留胡子 也要留那样的
Yeah. If I could grow that, I would so that.
我们就像马里奥兄弟
Yeah. We're like the mario brothers.
说出来吧 说你们想要门票
You know what, just say it. Y'all need tickets.
要不你们怎么会来找我说话
'cause why else would you ever come talk to Montez?
你们从没来说过 "嘿 你周末过得怎么样
You never come say "Hey, hello, how was your weekend?
你儿子的大提琴独奏听得怎么样啊"
Did you enjoy your son's cello recital?"
首先 我确实希望你喜欢你儿子的
First of all, I do hope you enjoyed your son's
大提琴独奏会
cello recital.
我敢说他的表演一定跟马友友一样棒
I bet it was yo-yo mar-velous.
但你刚才提到了门票 真是有意思
But you mentioned something about tickets. That's funny.
呃 我们是想买♥♥几张快船队的门票
Uh, we're in the market for, uh, Clippers tickets.
如果你正好有的话
If you happen to have some.
终于说出来了啊
And there it is.
你猜怎么着 我还真有那票
You know what, I got your damn tickets.
我要收票面的价格 我还要
I want face value and I gots to have
那件熊外套
that bear coat.
不行 我死也要穿着这件衣服 先生
No. I will be buried in this coat, sir.
好吧 那么 你们得帮我个忙
Okay, well, I need a favor.
说吧 随便什么都行
Name it. Whatever.
好的 我和我夫人
All right, me and the old lady
这周末要去海洋世界
going to seaworld this weekend.
去更新我们的婚礼誓言
To get our wedding vows renewed.
需要人来照看她的猫
I need somebody to come over and take care of her cats.
你们可以晚上下班过来 顺便拿票
You can come up after work and pick up these tickets.
Montez 你再一次帮我们渡过难关
Montez, pulling through again.
包在我身上 猫会排排坐好的
Consider it done. Cats sat.
这个祛痘膏要把我的脸烧着了
This zit cream is starting to burn my face.
这说明它在起作用啊 Ders
That means it's working, Ders.
Blake 我们需要你Montez那儿
Blake, we need you to go over to Montez's
把票取来
to get the tickets.
现在就去吗
Right now?
蓝队正要玩裤中馅饼呢
The blue team's about to play pie in your pants
赢了就能得世嘉成因牌游戏机
for a sega genesis.
谁还在乎这个 你看到我脸上的痘了吗
Who cares? Have you seen this whitehead?
你能不能先干正事啊
Can you please deal with this reality?
来吧 Blake 我这么说吧 兄弟
Okay, Blake, here's the deal, brother,
Ders像往常一样跟坨垃圾似的
Ders is looking like garbage per "Uzhe," Right?
而我在剃毛 野兽一样的毛
And I'm in the middle of a monster shave.
惨无人道 我毛孔都这么粗了
It's totally ridiculous. The follicles are this large.
就跟巧克力卷似的
It's like a tootsie roll.
我需要你 我最好的朋友
And I need you, my best friend in the world.
我真真正正关心的朋友
Who I truly care about on some real levels.
去Montez家拿那几张球票吧
To go to Montez's and get those tickets.
为了你最好的朋友 我求你了
for me. Your best friend.
有人吗
Hello?
啊 太爽了
Ho wicked.
噢 太棒了 太爽了
Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah. Yeah!
嘿Blake 哪串普克贝壳珠链比较好
Yo, Blake. Which puka shell necklace?
古典风还是鲨鱼牙风 - 不知道
Classic? Shark tooth? - I don't know.
拿到票了没有 - 我不想说这个
Did you get the tickets? - I don't want to talk about it.
发生什么事了
What happened?
反正我没拿到票 行了么
Look, I didn't get the tickets, okay?
看着我
Look at me.
天啊 你见到屌♥了 是啊
Jesus. You saw dick, didn't you?
是不是 - 嗯
Didn't you? - Yeah.
我看到Montez的屌♥了 他也看见我了
It was Montez's. And he saw me.
然后我只能尖叫只能狂奔 我只能
And there was a lot of screaming and running and I just...
嘘 没关系的 没事了 哥们儿
Shhhhhh. It's okay. It's okay, bro.
无所谓的 来来来
Who cares? Get in here.
谁没见过几只
We've all seen penises
咱不该看的屌♥啊 对不
we weren't supposed to see, right?
当我还在童子军里时
When I was in the boy scouts,
我就不小心看到Ryan Coe的屌♥了
I accidentally saw Ryan Coe's penis
在玩漂流的时候
on a canoeing trip.
真的吗 - 真的
Really? - Yeah.
我都没法直视他 他也不敢看我
I couldn't look at him. He couldn't look at me.
我们还是最好的朋友呢 我们俩一个房♥间
We were best friends, bro, and we couldn't even be
都没法待了
in the same room together.
你知道为啥么 - 为啥
You know why? - Why?
因为我们的关系失衡了
'cause there was an imbalance in our relationship.
后来怎么办的 - 后来我找到平衡了
So what'd you do? - I found a balance, dude.
我也给他看了我的屌♥
I showed that kid my penis.
从此世界恢复平衡
And restored order to the universe.
这被称作D氏童子军法则
It's called the boy scout rule of "D"S.
D氏法则一定管用
And it always works.
你必须给Montez看你的屌♥
You've got to show Montez your penis.
这真是太有道理了
That makes so much sense to me.
对嘛 - 嘿 咱的票呢
Right? - Hey, how are the seats?
呃 原来Montez不在家
Uh, actually, Montez wasn't home.
所以赛前咱们要
So we just got to make one quick stop
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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