工作狂（2011）

Workaholics S01E04

Part 2 June 28, 2021, 1:24 p.m.

我告诉过你了
I already told you.
是的呢 Blake 我还说你头发不像假发呢
Yeah, okay, Blake, and your hair doesn't look like a wig.
但实际呢它就像个假发大家都这么觉得
Guess what. It does. Everyone thinks so.
我们都这么说 - 我不这么觉得
We're all talking about it. - I don't think so.
我这次升职应该是没戏了
Let's just consider me having this promotion locked up.
我刚才和Alice谈过了肯定没戏了
I just talked with Alice. It's pretty official.
这是亚当德维恩说的<另一世界的预言>啊
Tales from an alternate universe as told by Adam devine.
Jillian 你这话什么意思
I don't know what that means, Jillian.
意思就是Anders升职妥妥的了
It means Anders pretty much has this sewn up.
你看到他给Alice的汇总文件了吗
Did you see that binder he showed Alice?
天呐里面插了图表还彩印
Oh, my gosh. It had graphs. In color.
哇彩印图表
Wow, color, graphs.
我高二玩的把戏
I did that when I was in 11th grade, I think.
但是 Alice吃这一套
Well, it impressed Alice,
她想午饭后看他做的幻灯片呢
'cause she wants to see a powerpoint right after lunch.
他大有希望对吧 - 对
So good for him, right? - Yeah.
我真是喜欢他啊因为他是惹人爱的小伙伴呀
Man, I love him. For he's a jolly good fellow
但没人能
but nobody can--
没人但我能
nobody-- but I can--
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
没人能我会想起来的
Nobody can-- I'll get this.
来吧 - 但我能
Okay. - But I...Can...
我要查一下歌♥词
I'm gonna look up those lyrics.
你说得对 - 好吧
You got it. - All right.
其实唱得不错 - 拜拜 Blake
That was good. - Bye, Blake.
拜了 Jillian - 再见 Adam
Bye, Jillian. - See you, Adam.
再见
Bye.
所以说Ders真采取行动了
So ders is doing actual work, huh?
这是背叛我们啊兄弟
That is cheating, dude, right?
我们绝对不能让他升职
We can not let him get this promotion.
哦不我不会上套搀和进来的伙计
Um, nope. You're not roping me into this one, bud.
Blake 你已经上套了
Blake, you are roped.
已经套牢了小牛犊
You are fully roped, young calf.
你能想象Ders当你上司的样子吗
Could you imagine Ders being your boss?
说实话我还真没想过
Actually, I didn't think of that.
我当上司一定比他酷一百倍
You know, I'm gonna be a much cooler boss than him.
"高管独厕"
Executive bathroom?
不如叫"Blake戏鸟间"
More like Blake's personal masturbating chamber.
我喜欢这名字
Oh, I'd like that.
我也喜欢
Yeah, me too!
既然这是命中注定那我们就统一战线
And so it is written. Let us form an alliance.
就像胡迪和巴斯光年一样
Like, uh, Woody and buzz lightyear, right?
好的飞向宇宙
Yeah, okay. To infinity.
浩瀚无垠
And beyond.
哈结盟很容易啊
Ah, ha. That was easy.
对啊人家不懂拒绝嘛
Yeah, well, I'm a pushover.
嗨我的好兄弟
Hey, big guy.
我们打算去吃新出的
We're about to go out and get that new,
三份培根双份蘑菇瑞士奶酪汉堡
triple bacon, double mushroom, Swiss melt burger.
哦那个听起来很美味
Oh, great. Yeah, that-- that sounds good.
我去不了了
I can't go.
今天午饭时间要去单车健身班
I got this lunchtime spinning class that I'm gonna go to instead.
去做点有氧运动
You know, bust some cardio.
当然啦要保持身材
Oh, sure, got to stay tight.
懂我的意思吗 - 嗯
Know what I mean? - Yeah.
我们知道的 - 是啊
We get that. - Right.
保持身材我们懂的 - 说的对必须的
Know all about staying tight. - Right. Got to.
看着肌肉还是有点松啊兄弟
Look a little loose in the cage, brother.
我没有你才是
No, I'm not. You are.
嘿我们会让你知道
Hey, we'll let you know
三份培根双份蘑菇瑞士奶酪汉堡
how the triple bacon, double mushroom,
味道怎么样的 - 好极了
Swiss melt burger goes. Great.
好的
All right.
让我们来解决这个丑闻吧 Blake
It's time to handle the scandal, Blake.
好你说的丑闻指的是
Yes, and by scandal you mean
三份培根双份蘑菇瑞士奶酪汉堡吧
triple bacon, double mushroom, Swiss melt burger.
不是现在我们要去毁掉Ders
No, right now we have to ruin Ders
还有他所代表的一切
and all that he stands for.
之后就去吃
And then get the
三份培根双份蘑菇瑞士奶酪汉堡
triple bacon, double mushroom, swiss melt burger.
你都不喜欢蘑菇 Blake
You don't even like mushrooms, Blake.
我知道啊我要不加蘑菇的
I know. I get it without mushrooms.
欢迎大家
Greetings and welcome.
我九岁的时候有一次外出钓鱼
When I was nine years old, I took a fishing trip,
结果被一名印第安人制止了
and I was stopped by a native American man,
他说 - 你♥他♥妈♥在说什么啊
and he said, "Who-- - what the * are you talking about?
我知道这件事对你非常重要
I know that this is a really big deal for you,
但是它只是我一天工作的一小部分
but it's such a minor part of my day,
所以拜托你利索一点
so can we please just hurry up?
还有祝你好运我支持你瘦高个
P.S. Good luck. I'm rooting for you, stretch.
谢谢那我们开始
Thank you. Enjoy.
Alice 我要上你
Oh, Alice I want you to * you my Anders
呃呃哦哦 - 额这个
Oh oh oh oh - Oh this is
那那是你的乳♥头♥吗 Anders - 不不不不是
Are those-- are those your nipples, Anders? - No! No, no, no.
不不不不是的
No, no, no, they're not.
这是搞笑的吗
Is this a joke?
不是的对不起
Just... This isn't--I'm sorry.
这是个故障
It's a malfunction.
嘘嘘 - 看上去像个顶级玩意儿
Shh! Shh! - It seems like grade-a stuff.
马上重来只要12分钟
Come back, uh, in 12 minutes.
我能搞定 - 嘿 Anders 闭嘴
I'll fix all these. - Look, Anders, no, just end--
Anders 听好了我有幽默感好吗
Anders, look, I have a sense of humor, okay?
真的有
I really do, okay?
我比办公室里其他人都要幽默
I'm funnier than everyone else in this office.
真的
It's true.
但是我只会适时而笑
But I laugh when it's appropriate, okay?
夜晚周末我会在星期天笑上一整天
Nights, weekends. I'll laugh all Sunday long.
我看过Adult Swim频道我懂另类喜剧
I've seen Adult Swim. I get alternative comedy.
我只要 - 不我们就到这里了
Let me just-- - No, we're done.
结束了
We're done.
嘿
Hey.
巨变让人心生愤怒知道吗
With radical change comes indignation, okay?
不是每个人都懂的
Not everyone's gonna get it.
猜猜谁懂了
Guess who does get it.
想猜一下吗
You wanna take a guess?
是你吗
Do you get it?
是啊我做到了
Yeah, I get it.
我去跟她谈谈
I'm gonna go talk to her.
不要 - 我要去
No. - I'm gonna make this happen.
Jillian 别 - 我要去
Jillian, don't. - I'm gonna do it.
哦吼吼
Oh, ho ho!
看起来你要升职
Looks like you're gonna have a hard time
有点困难了兄弟
getting that promotion now, dude.
或许你奇怪的乳♥头♥可以为你说点好话
Maybe your weird nipples can put in a good word for you.
记得吗因为你的乳♥头♥在说话
Yeah, remember? Because your nipples were talking.
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
兄弟我们为你解决了棘手的事情
Oh, man, we handled you something fierce.
你觉得怎么样
How's that make you feel?
说实话伤到我了
Yeah, honestly, that hurts.
真的伤我很严重
It hurts pretty bad.
那就去砸砸东西
I mean, so break something.
发发飙去啊没关系的
Go crazy. Come on. It's cool.
知道吗在家里被耍我认了
You know, at the house, I get it.
还能接受
It's fair.
但是你们把恶作剧带到办公室里
But when you bring it into the office,
就越界了
you're crossing a line, okay?
你们毁了我的工作
You're messing with my job.
但是如果你们想通过践踏我上位的话
But if you guys want to step on me to get ahead,
行啊我♥干♥嘛还要和你们做朋友呢
that's fine, but why would I want to be your friend?
Anders 这只是一个我们精心准备的
Anders, it was just an awesome prank