工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S01E05
Part 1
June 28, 2021, 1:24 p.m.
来吧 这是我的新发明 酒棋
Okay, so I call it booze-chess.
这瓶"皇家白兰地"是国王
I got the Cognac Royale as King.
"王后伏特加"嘛 当然是王后啦
Queen's Vodka. Obviously, that's the Queen.
陈年"骏马威士忌"是马
Um, Old Steed Whiskey, that's the horse center guy.
最佳象棋伴侣
Chess-mate.
直接开喝吧
Let's just drink.
哇塞 快看这家伙
Whoa, check out this guy.
不是我♥干♥的 不要抓我啊
I didn't do it. Cannot arrest me.
有事吗 官警人♥大♥
Help you, ossifer.
这是我钢管舞课的道具服
It's my costume for the pole dancing class
在活动中心学的
I'm taking at the Reck Center.
把妹子的好方法啊 - 对啊
A good way to meet babes. - Yeah.
是保持好身材的好方法
A good way to keep the body in shape...
同时 我的确也认识了一些新妹子
And, yes, I have met some friends--who are ladies.
Cheryl Penny Laurie
Cheryl, Penny, Laurie.
我们待会儿要一起做披萨
We're all gonna make homemade pizzas later.
挺不错嘛
Sounds good.
等等 每个人都穿警♥察♥制♥服♥还是
So wait, everyone wears a cop outfit or what?
噢 不不不 这个只是 呃
Oh, no, no, no, this is just, uh,
我想让人眼前一亮
something fresh i'm bringing to the table.
他们看了这套舞步之后
Thinking I might change the game though
我就成万人迷了
after they see this little routine.
坐稳了 好好瞧着
Check it out. Buckle up.
不许动
Freeze!
把腿举起来
I'm gonna need you to spread 'em.
目前为止还不错 - 嗯
I like it so far. - Yeah.
噢 - 不得了 哇塞
Oh! - Hello. Whoa.
等一下 我把那活儿放在 噢 在这里
Wait a second. Where'd I put my-- Oh, there it is.
看过来 所有人 看下面
Eyes down here, fellas. Eyes down here.
说真的 兄弟 你的鸡鸡真俊美
Seriously, dude, you got a pretty good dick.
*打 打 打住 搞 搞 搞起*
*S--s--stop, c--come alive*
*这种节奏 让我微笑*
*It's beat like this that make me smile*
我喜欢 - 哦
Oh, got me. - Oh!
行了 你还是别
Oh, yeah. No, you don't need to...
行啊 小子 - 还真来
All right. - You did...
这又是啥玩意儿啊
Oh, yeah, I don't know what that's about.
警官 你被逮捕了
"Officer." "You're under arrest."
注意棋盘啊
Hey. Whoa! This is a chessboard!
嘿 我们一会儿还要玩的
Hey, we're in the middle of a game!
*举起手来*
*Put your hands up*
我老师说 股沟没出汗
My teacher says if you don't sweat in your crack,
技术不够赞
you're not doing it right.
你真的不想上Tyra Banks了吗
So you really wouldn't bang Tyra Banks
就因为她穿了件胖胖的衣服
'cause she's wearing a fat suit?
这是肥胖歧视啊 老兄
That is fatism, dude.
这不是衣服胖
That's not a fat suit.
我看的是她的"耻上肥"
I'm looking at her fupa.
不 这是假的 整容整出来的
No, that is a faux fupa. Totally prosthetic.
我希望是真的 胖妞能让我硬起来
I wish it was real 'cause fat girls get me going.
"耻上肥" 我也不知道什么意思
Foopa. What is--I don't know what that means?
反正喊着挺过瘾的
I like saying it though.
就是说你屌♥以上的肥肉
It's a fat upper * area.
嗨 我是Bradley 服务器总管
Hi, I'm Bradley, the ISP supervisor.
服务器总管 - 我监视你们的网络活动
ISP supervisor? - I monitor your web activity.
好多毛♥片♥哦 先生们
A lot of pornography, gentlemen.
你是什么职位 干什么的
What's your job? What do you do?
怎么 你觉得我不当做服务器总管吗
What? You don't think I can be an ISP supervisor?
不是 不是 你完全胜任
No, no. You can totally be that.
你可以胜任任何职位 真的
You could do whatever you want to do. Yeah.
我们是想说 我们从来不看毛♥片♥
What we're saying is, um, we don't look at pornography.
我还不知道什么叫做毛♥片♥呢 不骗你
I don't even know what porn is, truthfully.
我觉得女人最性感就是穿得里三层外三层的
I think it's sexier when a woman wears all of her clothes.
对 - 嗯嗯
Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
我真正的欣赏的是 脖子的曲线
You know what I love, the slope of a neck.
女人温柔的声音
The soft voice of a woman.
还有她们的笑声 - 对 笑声
Even a laugh. - Oh, laughs?
少废话 禽兽们
Cut the crap, jag holes.
给钱我就不提这事了
I can look the other way for a fee.
谢天谢地
Ugh, thank God,
其实我们阅片无数
'cause we actually watch a ton o' porn.
而且通常重口味 双插 3P 尿浴
Mostly weird stuff. DPs. 3Ps. Golden showers.
诸如此类 - 给我拿来
Whatever. - Give me that.
我喜欢集体颜♥射♥ - 我喜欢亚洲嫩妹
I'm into bukkake. - And I love little Asians.
对 我们癖好各异
Yeah. We've all got our own things so...
对了 那是蜡像馆的门票
Oh, and that is a pass to the wax museum.
非常正点
Really good one.
你应该去看看他们家的成龙
You should see their Jackie Chan.
布莱德利库珀的是新做的 新展品
Bradley Cooper's new. That's a new exhibit.
嘿 怎么回事
Hey, what's going on?
没什么 刚认识了Brad 新的服务器总管
Nothing. Just met Brad, new ISP supe.
我们叫他B-Rad吧
Call him B-Rad.
够酷 - 人才啊
Cool dude. - Good hire.
呃 这是我的弟弟Bradley
Yeah, uh, this is my brother Bradley.
没猜错的话 他诈你们钱了吧
Let me guess. He scammed you out of money.
等等 原来你不是服务器总管啊
Wait, so you are not an ISP supervisor?
根本没有这么个玩意儿 - 哈哈哈
That's not even a real thing. - Ha ha ha!
我早猜到了 其实没 没猜到
I knew that. I didn't. I didn't.
你行啊 小子 以后得防着你了
Okay, you are good. We got to watch out for this guy.
我也正想说来着 B-Rad
That's what I'm talking, B-Rad.
简直是魔术师丹尼布莱恩 是丹尼还是大卫
Real Danny Blaine. Is it Danny? David?
是大卫 - 大卫布莱恩
It's David. - David Blaine?
是大卫 - 大卫
It's David. - David.
好了 赶紧把钱还给人家吧 好吗
Yeah, just give them their money back, please.
给我吧 - 谢了 老兄
Give me that. - Thanks, man.
总之 亲爱的 我今晚很晚下班
Anyway, uh, sweetie, I'm gonna be working late tonight.
有个国际电♥话♥会议 布鲁塞尔打来的哦
I have an international conference call. Brussels.
噢 尚格云顿的故乡
Oh, home of Jean-Claude van Damme.
布鲁塞尔肌肉男
Muscles from Brussels.
闭嘴 - 都这么叫他啊
Shut up. - That's what they call him.
冰箱里有速冻披萨饺
So there's some frozen calzones in the freezer.
然后 我会很晚回家
And, um, I'll be home later.
呃 我受够整天贴着你这个寡妇贴了
Ugh, I'm tired of being cooped up in your stupid widow pad!
Bradley 我说过我不是寡妇 听见没
Bradley, I told you I am not a widow, okay?
我只是离婚了
I am divorced.
我是个独♥立♥女性而且年华正好
I am an independent woman in the prime of my life.
你35岁而且单身
You're 35 and alone.
你这样的婊♥子♥是被人轮的
I run train on chicks like you.
噢 我的天啊
Oh, my God.
我跟这帮呆子一起玩儿不是更好
Why don't I hang with these nerds?
什么 不行 不行
What? Okay, no.
不行 Bradley 你不能跟这帮人混
No, Bradley, you do not want to hang out with them, okay?
他们是一帮彻头彻尾的废物
They are total losers
真的很废吗 拜托
Real losers? Come on.
我们有一个游泳池
We have a swimming pool.
我 我们都有独♥立♥的房♥间
We--we all have our own rooms.
我们有个水族箱 很小的那种
We have an aquarium. A very small one.
两间能用的卫生间
We have two working toilets.
也不是很废柴吧 对不
That's not very loser, is it?
那就这么定了 - 太好了B-Rad
It's settled then. - Yeah, B-Rad.
好嘞 - 呜呼
All right. - Oo-hoo!
我去去就回
I'll be right back.
那个家伙肯定也看毛♥片♥
That dude definitely looks at porn.
真巧 他的确看毛♥片♥ 还被我碰到过
It's funny 'cause it's true. He does. I've caught him.
好了 都听着 Bradley是我的弟弟
Okay, listen to me, Bradley is my brother
也是这世界上我唯一爱的人
and the only thing in the world that I love.
我无法生育 他就像我的孩子一样
He's like the child I will never have.
所以今晚别给我脑子发热
So I want you to go against every instinct you may have tonight
别干蠢事
and not do anything stupid.
不会的 - 知道了
No. - Roger that.
好 如果不把他安然无恙地带回来
Yeah. Because if you don't bring him back safe and sound,
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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