威尔和格蕾丝

Will & Grace S09E04

Part 1 Jan. 12, 2020, 7:56 p.m.

"Will & Grace" Is shot before a live studio audience.
《威尔和格蕾丝》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的
Honey, why are you making me go to work on a Saturday?
亲爱的你为什么非逼我周六来上班
I should be home, making love to Stan
我应该待在家里跟斯坦做爱
and watching cartoons.
看卡通片
Ah, I love cartoons!
我超爱卡通片
You heard what we were talking about?
你听到了我们刚刚说的话吗
No.
没有
Jack, why do you have to use my shower?
杰克你为什么非得用我的浴室
Four reasons: one, your water pressure's better.
四个原因第一你这边的水压更高
Two, you've got that hand attachment
第二你这里的手持式喷头
that gets to all those fun to reach areas.
可以伸到一些羞羞的地方去
And three through four,
第三和第四个原因是
I've had two dates this week with a bear
我这周跟一个多毛熊约会了两次
who clogged my drain.
掉的毛就把我家下水管堵了
Since when are bears your thing?
你什么时候开始喜欢多毛熊了
I thought you were into twinks, twunks,
我以为你喜欢小鲜肉童颜巨肌男
and everything else that Dr. Seuss didn't write about.
以及苏斯博士笔下没有描写过的其它一切
All right, Karen, let's go.
好了凯伦我们走吧
Grace, you work too much, and you're not dating.
格蕾丝你整天就知道工作从不约会
It's Saturday morning.
现在是周六早上
You should be slinking home
你此刻应该偷溜回家
with your contacts in a shot glass,
隐形眼镜泡在小酒杯里
scratches on your back, and itches on your front.
背上有很多抓痕前面那地方很痒
I went on a date last week.
我上周才约会过啊
That was the meeting with the cabinet maker you want to use,
那是跟木工的会面你想雇他干活儿
and he was blatantly gay.
并且他绝对是基佬
When I came home, he was sitting on the couch
我回家时他坐在沙发上
in the pajama party position.
用的是"睡衣派对式"坐姿
I don't know that one.
我不明白这个术语
Humbled.
好受挫
Jack? Pajama party position. Please demonstrate.
杰克示范下"睡衣派对式"坐姿
Oh, yeah, sure.
好的没问题
No heterosexual man has ever sat this way.
没有哪个直男会这么坐
If a sitting position could have a lisp,
如果说某种坐姿可以说话
it would be that one.
就是那句话了
Let's go, Kar.
我们走凯凯
Honey, all I'm saying is that if you don't start dating,
亲爱的我的意思是如果你再不开始约会
it's gonna turn into a fireplace you never use.
那地方就会变成你永远不用的壁炉
Open up the flue and put a big log in there.
把"烟道"打开塞一根又粗又长的"木棒"进去
Now that the men are off to work,
既然男人婆都出去工作了
what should us girls get up to?
我们两个小仙女应该干些什么
Well, I read an article
我看过一篇文章...
No.
不要
But you can volunteer... Boo.
但你可以志愿... 拒绝
To clean historic houses.
打扫古宅
You know how people say
有很多人都搞不懂
"Why is Will still single?"
"威尔为什么至今单身"
I'm not one of those people.
我不是其中之一我太清楚了
Hi.
你好
Oh, I'm sorry, dear, but I can't give you any money.
很抱歉亲爱的我不能给你钱
I don't support arts and music in schools.
我不支持学校教艺术和音乐
I don't need the competition.
我可不希望有人跟我竞争
No, no.
不不是的
I'm looking for Jack McFarland.
我想找杰克·麦克法兰德
I'm Jack McFarland.
我就是杰克·麦克法兰德
You have a son named Elliot, right?
你有个叫埃略特的儿子对吧
Technically, although,
不过严格来说
like my friend Will and his hair,
跟我朋友威尔和他的头发一样
we had a falling out years ago.
我们多年前就断绝关系了
Why do you ask?
你问这个干什么
I found some of the letters you wrote him,
我发现了一些你写给他的信
and since I'm in New York with my parents,
碰巧我这次跟父母一起来纽约
I wanted to meet you.
我就想认识一下你
I'm sorry. Who exactly are you?
不好意思你到底是谁
Oh, I'm Elliot's son, Skip.
我是埃略特的儿子斯凯普
One more time, dear. I'm a trifle "deef" in my upstage ear.
再说一次亲爱的我这边耳朵有点聋
I'm your grandson!
我是你的孙子
Can I call you grandpa?
我能叫你爷爷吗
Oh, my God, you have to.
天啊你必须叫啊
Got ahold of Skip's parents at the hotel.
我联系过斯凯普住在酒店的父母了
They're on their way, grandpa.
他们正赶过来爷爷
Oh, please!
别嘴贱
I just found out my youth obsessed best friend has a grandson.
我刚发现我那痴迷年轻的最好朋友有个孙子
I am obligated to torture you.
我绝对有义务折磨你
It's in the contract.
就像合同里都规定了一样
I didn't even know he existed.
我之前都不知道他的存在
How could Elliot not tell me this?
埃略特怎么能不告诉我这事
You haven't spoken to him in years.
你都好多年没跟他说过话了
Because he moved to Texas,
因为他搬去了德州
married someone super conservative,
娶了个超级保守的人
and he didn't even invite me to his wedding.
他都没邀请我参加他的婚礼
And you got your feelings hurt
你觉得很受伤
I didn't cut anything!
我才没有剪任何东西
Edward Sissy hands.
剪刀"娘"爱德华
This is your chance to patch things up.
这是你跟他们修复关系的机会
Elliot and his wife are coming over.
埃略特和他妻子待会儿会过来
Your grandson is in there. Go talk to him.
你孙子就在屋里去找他谈谈
How am I supposed to connect with a kid from Texas?
我要怎么跟一个德州小孩搞好关系
I can't fish or hunt
我不会钓鱼打猎
So, Skip.
斯凯普
Are you having fun in New York?
你在纽约玩得开心吗
Yeah! I love it!
当然了我超爱的
Would you excuse us just for a second?
失陪一下哈
Don't get too excited.
别太激动
We can't know for sure.
我们并不能确定
Really? The pajama party position?
当真吗就那睡衣派对坐姿
Is that not enough evidence to convict misdemeanor over there?
那还不足以给他定罪吗
Take it easy. We are not doing an episode of "Law & Order: LGBTQ."
冷静点我们不是在拍《法律与秩序:非异性恋》
Don't mind me, boys. I forgot my Birkin.
不用管我帅哥们我忘拿我的柏金包了
Close your mouth, kid. You're gonna catch a fly.
把嘴巴合上孩子不然苍蝇要飞进去了
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, she is fabulous!
我勒个杰西·泰勒·弗格森她美呆了耶
Okay, Google,
听着谷歌
turn down the lights.
把灯光调暗
Okay, Google, turn on the lights.
听着谷歌把灯光调亮
Great. Mom's home.
真棒妈妈回来了
Tony, I don't know what's going on here,
托尼我不知道这是什么情况
but Karen always takes things too far,
但凯伦行事总是太过火
and she is grinding up against me right now, isn't she?
她现在正在磨蹭我是不是
She was, but it's more like a dry hump thing
是的不过更像是在"摩擦"你
with a little bit of spankings.
外加一点打屁屁
Stop.
住手
Isn't there something that you would like to say to Tony?
你不是有话要对托尼说吗
Yes.
是的
I'm so sorry that I didn't think of this earlier.
抱歉之前我没想到这点
Heads up, Puerto Rico! Have a good time.
当心波多黎各仔玩得开心
Karen!
凯伦
It's okay, Grace.
没关系格蕾丝
Every time she does it,
每次她这样做
I make her send a grand to hurricane relief.
我就让她捐一千块给飓风灾民
Worth every peso.
每一比索都花得值
Karen, I don't know where to start.
凯伦我都不知道从何说起
You have got to stop sexually harassing the employees.
你不能再性骚扰员工了
It's bad enough that you do it to me.
你平时性骚扰我就够糟心的了
Well, honey, if you didn't want me to play with him,
亲爱的如果你不想让我玩他
why'd you buy him for me?
那为什么要把他买给我
Wait a minute.
等一下
You bought him for yourself.
你是买给自己玩的
Well, good for you, honey.
不错嘛亲爱的
That is exactly what you need.
你现在正缺这个
I am his boss. I would never even think that.
我是他的老板我绝不会有这种歪念