威尔和格蕾丝

Will & Grace S11E01

Part 1 Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.

欧洲太棒了
Europe was incredible,
尤其是意大利
especially Italy.
让自己浸入别的文化太好玩了
Oh, it was so fun to immerse yourself in another culture.
匹诺曹意大利面
Pinocchio, spaghetti,
爱莉安娜·格兰德
Ariana Grande.
马库斯后来怎么样了
So what happened with, uh, Marcus?
马库斯挺好的下流又有趣
Marcus was good, dirty fun,
然后我们就分道扬镳了
and then we went our separate ways.
玩玩就走为你骄傲
Hit it and quit it, I'm proud of you.
完全释放自我威尔
Oh, gosh, it was so freeing, Will.
生平第一次在我想要的时候
For the first time in my life, I did what I wanted,
干了我想干的事以及我想干的人
when I wanted, and who I wanted.
真是够浪的我要听细节
You naughty, naughty, I need specifics.
请把公制换算成英制
And please convert from metric.
厘米一点不性感
Centimeters aren't sexy.
在希腊我和一个建筑工人
In Greece, I fooled around with a construction worker
在推土机的铲子里亲热
in the scoop of a bulldozer.
在我脑子里我想象你下面垫着一张干净的毯子
Ooh, in my mind, I'm putting a clean blanket underneath you.
你知道这次旅行给我带来了什么吗
You know what this trip gave me, Will?
淋病
Gonorrhea?
以及你脚踝上的那玩意儿
And whatever that is on your ankle?
-那是虫咬的 -是吗
- It's just a bug bite. - Is it?
因为看上去像是你们意大利人口中的辣肠
'Cause it looks like what you Italians call pepperoni.
我会去检查的
I will get it checked.
总之这次旅行让我有了新的认知
Anyway, it gave me a new perspective.
生平第一次
For the first time in my life,
我不再担心他人的需求
I am not worrying about someone else's needs.
我只关心我自己
It's--it's all about me.
我为你高兴
I'm so happy for you.
能聊一聊我吗
Can we talk about me for one second?
我很担心我和麦考伊的关系
I'm worried about me and McCoy.
亲爱的我懂的他很帅
Oh, honey, I know, he's gorgeous,
但时间会让你们都变老变丑
but time'll even it out.
感觉我们的感情搁置了
It--it feels like we're on hold.
你们才刚订婚啊
You just got engaged.
我知道但是没有亲热
I know, but there's no intimacy.
我在这儿他在伦敦
I mean, I'm here. He's in London.
他的鸡鸡总是比我早五个小时
His penis is always five hours ahead.
他想和我玩远程性♥爱♥
He wants to have phone sex.
你该求助凯伦
You should ask Karen for help.
她很擅长远程性♥爱♥
She's really good at phone sex.
你知道政♥府♥在窃听我们吧
You know the government's listening in.
我最不希望的就是
I mean, the last thing I wanna do
为迈克·彭斯副总统的意淫库提供素材
is make another donation to Mike Pence's spank bank.
早
Morning.
早
Morning.
我在搞庭院甩卖♥♥
I'm having a yard sale.
有你中意的东西吗
See anything you like?
我喜欢这件衬衣
I like this shirt.
所以我才买♥♥给了我自己
That's why I bought it for myself.
你是在为你从雪貂转变成人的手术筹钱吗
You're raising money for your transition from ferret to human?
我在办庭院甩卖♥♥
I'm having a yard sale
是为了除掉艾斯特凡在我们度蜜月时
to get rid of this hateful cuckoo clock
买♥♥的这个讨厌的布谷鸟自鸣钟
that Estefan bought us on our honeymoon.
这样当他发现它不见了时
That way when he sees it's missing,
我就可以说"不好我肯定是不小心卖♥♥掉了"
I can say, "Oh, no, I must have sold it by mistake."
并且我喜欢这样成为这样的人
Also, I love being this guy.
他找零钱[做出改变]He makes change.
他享受自己的生活
He lives his life.
如果你不喜欢这钟
If you don't like the clock,
为什么不直接告诉你丈夫
why don't you just tell your husband?
这招也许对你和你娶的那个红发女有效
That may work for you and the redhead you're married to,
但男同不这么干
but homo don't play that.
如果我告诉艾斯特凡我的感受
If I tell Estefan how I feel,
我就可能会伤到他的感情和他吵起来
I risk hurting his feelings and getting into a fight.
-就是个钟而已 -是吗
- It's just a clock. - Is it?
?来吧晃动你的身体跳康加舞?
?Come on, shake your body, baby, do the conga?
?我知道你再也控制不了自己?
?I know you can't control yourself any longer?
你能想象一个同志小丑
Can you imagine a little gay fool
在每个整点时分破门而出吗
bursting through the door every hour on the hour?
不能
No.
这是在搞什么杰克
What's all this racket, Jack?
你好蒂默夫人
Hi, Mrs. Timmer.
我在办庭院甩卖♥♥
I was just having a little yard sale.
有你中意的东西吗
See anything you like?
你知道我是委员会的
You know I'm on the board.
我不能允许你...
I can't allow you to--
我喜欢这个钟
Oh, I like this clock.
它有什么特殊功能吗
Does it do anything?
?来吧晃动你的身体跳康加舞?
?Come on, shake your body, baby, do the conga?
?我知道你再也控制不了自己?
?I know you can't control yourself any longer?
这是我见过的最好玩的东西
That's the funniest thing i've ever seen.
很好拿去吧不要钱
Great, take it! It's free!
尽情享受吧太好了
Live it! Love it! Yeah!
快走恕不退换
Go! All sales are final.
附赠一本94年的电♥话♥簿
Here, have a phone book from 1994.
哦拉[你好]
Oh! La.
哈啰
Hola!
天呐艾斯特凡你今天回来得好早
Oh, my God, Estefan, you're home early.
蒙太古机长不得不调头返航
Captain Montague had to turn the plane around
因为有个基佬泼了安·库尔特一身姜汁汽水
because some queen threw a ginger ale on Ann Coulter
安·库尔特是美国保守派
评论家作家网络红人
曾因座位被调换在网上狂撕航♥空♥公♥司♥
她融化了
and she melted.
我都不知道你在办庭院甩卖♥♥
I didn't know you were having a yard sale.
卖♥♥出去什么东西了吗
Have you sold anything yet?
什么都没卖♥♥出去
Absolutely nothing.
几乎没生意
It's been so slow.
?来吧晃动你的身体跳康加舞?
?Come on, shake your body, baby, do the conga?
杰克如果你这个庭院甩卖♥♥什么都没卖♥♥出去
Jack, if you have sold nothing at this yard sale,
那为什么我会听到
then why do I hear
我心爱的"不咕鸟"钟的声音
the sound of my beloved "Kah-koo" Clock
从9B号♥公♥寓♥里传出来
coming from inside of apartment 9B?
我知道我肯定会后悔问这一句的
I know I'm gonna regret this.
你没事吧
You okay?
你看到这虫子咬的伤了吗
You see this bug bite?
是的
Yeah.
我在欧洲被咬的
I got it in Europe.
只不过是被虫子咬了一口
It's just a bug bite.
我是说这不是好事
I mean, it's bad.
得涂药膏
It needs cream,
意大利语叫乳膏
crema in Italian.
但是医生却对我说了一些
But the doctor said something to me
永远不该对一个
that you should never tell a woman
好不容易将自己放在第一位的女人说的话
who is finally making her life about herself:
我怀孕了
I'm pregnant!
-你有点... -太老吗
- Aren't you a little-- - Old?
是的
Yes!
医生说这他妈的是个奇迹
The doctor said it was a freakin' miracle!
?来吧晃动你的身体跳康加舞?
?Come on, shake your body, baby, do the conga?
?我知道你再也控制不了自己?
?I know you can't control yourself any longer?
格蕾丝什么乱七八糟的设计我是艾德拉[兴♥奋♥剂♥]Grace Something Designs, Adderall speaking.
有什么可以为您效劳的
How can I help you?
威尔
Will?
凯伦你好啊
Oh, Karen, hi.
抱歉肯定是屁♥股♥不小心触到拨通的
Sorry, I--I--I must have butt-dialed you.
你们这种人的屁♥股♥还真是无所不能啊
Is there anything your people's butts can't do?
到目前为止还没让人失望过
So far, I've yet to be disappointed.
但是但是真的我...
But--but--but, really, I--
威尔玛打住
Oh, Wilma, stop it.
你需要我教你怎么玩远程性♥爱♥
You need my help with phone sex.
拜托我是泛性恋巨星