威尔和格蕾丝

Will & Grace S10E01

Part 1 Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.

《威尔和格蕾丝》是在摄影棚观众前现场录制的
"Will and Grace is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
你好感谢您能来
Hi, thank you for coming.
我是格蕾丝·艾德勒我住在这栋大楼
I'm Grace Adler-- I live in the building--
正在竞选
and I'm running for President
纽约室内装潢设计师协会的主席
of the New York Society for Interior Designers.
其实我不久前才重新装潢过这个大堂
I actually just redecorated this lobby.
-您叫什么名字来着 -莎伦·蒂莫
- What's your name, again? - Sharon Timmer.
我在你楼下住了19年了
I've lived directly below you for 19 years.
你被蜘蛛咬到脖子那次
I took you to Urgent Care
是我送你去急救中心的
that time a spider bit ur neck.
能让开吗我想去拿信
Could you move? I want to get my mail.
你为什么让我独角戏唱了那么久
Why'd you let me talk for so long?
蒂莫太太你好
Hi, Mrs. Timmer.
你老婆话多又无礼
Your wife is yappy and rude.
所以我们从来不做♥爱♥
That's why we never have sex.
杰克人呢
Where is Jack?
我用了五节瑜伽课收买♥♥他
I bribed him with five yoga classes
叫他悄悄混入人群鼓动其他人投给我
to get him to subtly blend in and drum up votes.
是谁重新装潢了这栋大楼的大堂
Who redesigned the lobby of this building
但我可没住在这哦
I don't live in?
你是说格蕾丝·艾德勒吗
Grace Adler, you say?
她听起来单身且准备好用力过猛了
She sounds single and ready to try too hard.
投格蕾丝·艾德勒一票
我不是叫你打扮成专业的室内装潢设计师吗
I told you to dress like a serious interior designer.
我都能看到你底下穿的瑜伽衣服了
I can see the outline of your lulu-lemons.
知道吗格蕾丝
You know what, Grace?
本翘臀小爷已经兑现了承诺
I fulfilled my rear-end of this bargain, okay?
所以我现在要去上瑜伽课了
So I'm going to yoga class--
他们会鼓励我们忍♥住别放屁
where they encourage us to hold in our farts
并远离有毒人群
and steer clear away from toxic people, okay?
所以做个合十礼拜拜了您哪
So nama-stay away from me.
蒂莫太太你好呀
Hi, Mrs. Timmer!
杰克你好
Hi, Jack!
我帮你
Here you go.
不用谢啊
You're welcome.
没错说的就是你我帮你撑着门
Yeah. Yeah, you. I held the door for you.
你应该说"谢谢"才对
You're supposed to say "Thank you."
这是别人帮助你时该有的礼貌
It's called a social contract when someone--
别走不许走
don't walk away! Don't walk away!
我在教你礼仪你这个原始人
I'm teaching you manners, you frickin' Neanderthal!
威尔威尔威尔
Will, Will, Will.
我看见推特名人了
Twitter celebrity sighting.
西区暴躁哥来了
The West Side Curmudgeon is here.
我超爱他的
I love him!
我们讨厌的东西他也讨厌他还发推骂
He hates the things we hate and Tweets about it!
我该过去告诉他我是粉丝吗
Should I go over and fan-girl out on him?
-换我就不会去 -我们不一样不一样
- Oh, I wouldn't. - Okay, well, we're different.
我知道你是谁
I know who you are.
好吧
Okay.
你是西区暴躁哥
You're the West Side Curmudgeon.
这不是秘密你不用像儿童节目里的
It's not a secret, so you can stop talking
毒贩那样歪嘴小声嘀咕
like a drug dealer on a kids' show.
太幽默了
Genius!
你好会玩梗
You're delivering!
我每天都看你的推送
Oh, I--I read your feed every day.
我们讨厌的东西都一样
I mean, we hate all the same things.
-电视计程车和... -话多的红发女
- TV and taxis and... - Chatty redheads?
对她们最讨厌了
Yeah, the worst.
我叫格蕾丝
I'm Grace.
我叫诺亚
Noah.
这是在干什么
So, uh, what is this?
我... 看这边
Well, I, um--over here.
我在竞选
I am running for President
纽约室内装潢设计师协会的主席
of the New York Society of Interior Designers.
你在推特上有超多粉丝
And you have a ton of followers,
希望你能帮我拉一下票
and I would love a shout-out.
什么不我不是来...
What? No, I'm not here for the--
我刚看到这里有很多人想着会有开胃菜
I saw a crowd and thought there'd be appetizers.
我懂你
I so get that.
严格来说我曾加入过
I was technically a Scientologist
山达基教一小会因为他们欢迎中心的
for, like, a minute because their welcome center
备受争议的新兴宗教
鸡肉沙拉太好吃了
had great chicken salad.
我曾为了吃甜甜圈去参加戒酒互助会
I--I was in AA for the donuts
但被那种同志情谊吓跑了
but left because of the camaraderie.
我们是同一个人吗
Are we the same person?
我不知道你前妻今早狂敲你门
I don't know, did you ex-wife pound on your door this morning
问你要钱了吗
looking for money?
原来早上砸门的是她
That's who that was!
开玩笑的我前任是男人
Just kidding. Um, my ex is a man.
我喜欢男人们不是同时
I like men. Oh, not plural.
每次一个而已
One at a time.
而且两任之间会有合理的空窗期
And--and with a reasonable amount of time between them.
但多久才叫合理呢
But what is reasonable, really?
多话的红发女
Oh, chatty redhead.
才听懂是在说我
Just got that.
在附近再见了
Well, uh, see you around the neighborhood.
你介意我拿一个宣传册吗
Do you mind if I keep a pamphlet?
没问题
Of course.
剧透一下里面有很多我的照片
Um, spoiler alert, there are a lot of pictures inside
这种表情的照片
of me making this face.
迫不及待
Can't wait.
-再见格蕾丝 -再见诺亚
- Bye, Grace. - Bye, Noah.
-嗨你能不能撑一下撑一下门
- Hey, can you hold it-- hold the door!
怎么样了
How'd it go?
好极了
Oh, so good.
比如有个人有条狗见谁都咬
You know when someone has a dog who hates everyone
但是看到你就会来舔你
but it just comes right up and licks you?
就像那样但是这个是人
It's like that, but human.
他问他能不能拿一个
And he asked if he could keep
宣传册
my pamphlet.
也许他想留个宣传册
Maybe he wanted to keep your pamphlet
然后在推特上嘲笑你
to mock you on Twitter.
他是西区暴躁哥
He is the West Side Curmudgeon.
不对威尔我们很合得来
No, Will. We hit it off.
他拿了我的宣传册是因为上面有我的联♥系♥方式
He took the pamphlet because my contact information is on there
他很可能想约我或者
and he probably wants to ask me out or--
他已经在推特上嘲笑我了是不是
he's already mocked me on Twitter, hasn't he?
是张你宣传册的照片文字是
It's a picture of your pamphlet that says,
"大家好我是格蕾丝·艾德勒我在竞选
"Hi, I'm Grace Adler, and I'm running for President
纽约最糗主席"
of the Dumbest Thing in New York."
什么
What?
不会吧让我看下
No! Let me see!
格蕾丝威尔在不在
Grace, is Will here?
我去叫他过来
I'll get him.
嗨近来可好
Hey, what's up?
你肯定不敢相信这事
You are not going to believe this.
我刚才看到我的咪♥咪♥在麦迪逊大道上走
I just saw my boobs walking down Madison Avenue.
这就是为什么药瓶上的标签写着
That's why the little label on the pill bottle says,
"不可与酒精同时服用"
"Do not mix with alcohol."
我说真的我当时正在去贝格多夫的路上
Hey, I'm serious! I was on my way to Bergdorf
然后看到一个女人从地上
and I saw a woman coming up
一个洞里出来了
out of a hole in the ground.
那是地铁继续
The subway. Continue.
我直接看着她的胸部我问
And I looked right at her chest and I said,
"嗨
"Hey.
我以前是不是在哪见过你"
Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
然后她说 "应该没有"
And she said, "I don't think so."
然后我说 "我不是在和你说话
And I said, "I'm not talking to you.
我是在和你们说话"
I'm talking to yous."
然后她说 "是啊我刚隆完
And she said, "Oh, yeah. I just got 'em done.