欢迎来到切彭代尔斯（2022）

It is absurd.
你从来没听说过这种事
You've never heard of such a thing.
你现在手里就拿着一张
Well, you're holding one in your hand right now.
这是客人做的
This was made by customers,
这样他们就可以不用排队 避免长时间的等待
so that they could skip the line, avoid the long wait.
对吧 这些都是客人为了 进入我们俱乐部会做的事
Right? These are the lengths people will go to to get into our club.
他们会做假的贵宾卡
They'll make fake VIP cards.
我为什么要让 带着自♥制♥卡片的人进来呢
Why would I let someone in with a made-up card?
怎么了
What?
如果有人在做假卡
If somebody were making fake cards,
你觉得你的门卫会不知道吗 你得编个更好的故事
don't you think your doorman would know? You need to come up with a better story.
只是 没有贵宾卡 好吗
Just, there are no cards. Okay?
没有贵宾卡
There are no cards.
天哪
Oh, my God!
看看我们
Look at us.
我们只是在市中心闲逛
We're just strolling through Midtown,
一对剧院舞台上炙手可热的新人
hot new power couple on the theater scene.
我们现在是情侣了吗
Oh, are we a couple now?
我们已经在一起好多年了
Well, we have been for years.
真的吗
Really?
说说看
Tell me more.
-你不知道吗 -嗯...
- You didn't know? - Well...
我是说 我知道 我们每时每刻都在一起
I mean, I knew that we spend every waking moment together,
-所以... -这是一种美妙的关系
- so... - Yeah, it's a wonderful relationship.
我们拥有爱和友谊 我们仍然可以随心所欲地做♥爱♥
We have love and companionship, and we still get to fuck whoever we want.
现在这是一种美妙的关系
Now that's a wonderful relationship.
最美妙的
It's the best.
最美妙的
The best.
这是哪里 银行吗
What is this? A bank?
我觉得我们是在一个平庸的鬼屋里
I feel like we're in a haunted house of mediocrity.
地板很好 你可以在这里尽情地跳舞
The floors are great. You can dance in here like no tomorrow.
-请进来 -他们来了
- Come on in. - There they are.
-你好 -嗨
- Hello. - Hey. Hey.
嗨 布拉德福
Hi, Bradford.
嗨 丹尼斯
Hi, Denise.
看看你那有趣的上衣
Look at your fun top.
还有那条熨好的牛仔裤
And an ironed jean pant.
你觉得呢
So what do you think?
我觉得什么啊
What do I think about what?
我们纽约的新总部
About our new New York headquarters.
我们新的...
Oh! Our new...
但我们在俱乐部有办公室
But we have our office at the club.
拜托 那个沉闷 没有窗户的地堡 算不上是办公室
Come on. That dreary, windowless bunker does not qualify as an office.
看看这个地方
Look at this place.
我在看 为什么是米色
I am, and why so beige?
它们是中性色调的 感觉非常的舒缓
They're neutrals. It's very soothing.
好吧 我感觉自己在银行的货车里
Okay, I feel like I'm in a van at a bank.
-丹尼斯 你会喜欢它吗 -但这两个并没有唤起我的...
- Denise, can you love it? - And both things aren't summonsing my...
我需要你和我们一起喜欢
I need you to love it with us.
-拜托 没那么难 -我一点也不觉得舒服
- Come on, it's not that hard. - I'm not soothed at all.
拜托 请坐
Come on. Sit down.
坐在这把漂亮的椅子上 它是用来抚慰你的
Sit down in this beautiful chair that's made to soothe you.
意大利造
It's Italian.
-好的 -感觉不错吧
- Right. - Doesn't that feel good?
感觉像我父亲
It feels like my father.
拜托 你看起来像神奇女侠
Come on. You look like Wonder Woman.
你可以把你所有的东西 从皇后区或其他地方带来
You can bring all your stuff from Queens or wherever you're from.
-我来自长岛 是吧 -还有更多的家具要运来
- I'm from Long Island. Okay. - More furniture's coming.
有一些艺术品之类的东西
There's some artwork and things.
拿电♥话♥ 看看在你的新办公室 接电♥话♥是什么感觉
Grab it, see what it feels like to answer the phone in your new office.
好吧
Okay.
您好 是丹尼斯·考夫兰吗
Hello. Hi, is this Denise Coughlan?
是的 我是
Yes, it is.
对不起 您是哪位
I'm sorry, who is it?
没什么 你好吗
Nothing. Are you okay?
菲尔·多纳休吗
As in, the Phil Donahue?
-是啊
Yes. Yeah.
-他们在说什么 -我同意
- What are they saying? - I agree.
-丹尼斯 他们在说什么 -太不可思议了
- Denise. What are they saying? - It's incredible.
-真的吗 -什么真的
- Really? - Really what?
真的吗 是啊 我完全同意
Really? Yeah. I couldn't agree more.
我会查一下的
And I will check on that.
然后我们再联♥系♥您
And then we'll get back to you.
谢谢 乔斯林
Thank you, Jocelyn.
-祝你过得愉快 -好的 你也是
- Have a wonderful day. - Yeah, you too.
好的 再见
Okay, bye.
-他妈的怎么回事 -菲尔·多纳休是谁
- What the fuck was that? - Phil Donahue?
节目的制♥作♥人
A producer from the show
去看了我们亨肯斯坦的演出
was at our Hunkenstein masterpiece.
然后呢
And?
而且欲望舞团会上
And Chippendales is gonna be
菲尔·多纳休的节目了
on The Phil Donahue Show.
天啊
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
菲尔·多纳休吗
Phil Donahue?
该死的菲尔·多纳休
Phil fucking Donahue.
你在开玩笑吗
Are you kidding me?
菲尔·多纳休吗
The Phil Donahue?
-头发花白的 -是的
- With the gray hair? - Yes.
他是个精明的人
He's a silver fox.
-你是认真的吗 -是的
- Are you serious? - Yes.
欲望舞团将会 出现在日间最大的电视节目中
Chippendales is gonna be on the biggest show on daytime television.
我们要上《多纳休》了
We're gonna be on Donahue!
-天啊 -我知道
- Oh, my God! - I know.
-真的吗 -是的
- Really? - Yes.
-我们要上多纳休了 -我们要上多纳休了
- We're going to be on Donahue. - We're going to be on Donahue.
-再说一遍 -我们要上《菲尔·多纳休》了
- Say it again. - We're going to be on Phil Donahue.
欲望舞团
来了
It's back. Shh!
-安静 开始了 安静点 -好的
- Quiet up. It's on, be quiet. - Okay.
先生们 女士们
Oh, boy, ladies.
我们今天给你准备了一份礼物
Have we got a treat for you today.
如果现在你有幸住在纽约或洛杉矶
Now, if you're lucky enough to live in New York or LA,
你可能会亲眼见到这些帅哥
you may have seen these fellas in the (CLEARS THROAT) flesh.
他们是欲望舞团俱乐部
They're called Chippendales,
他们非常受欢迎
and they are the hottest thing since sliced bread,
东西两岸的俱乐部全都爆满 到处都是想摸
filling up clubs on both coasts, full of women
小圆面包的女人
looking to get their hands on some buns,
我说的可不是 你在面包店买♥♥到的那种啊
and I'm not talking about the kind that you get in a bakery.
见鬼 你不是来听我讲这些的吧
Heck, but you didn't come here to listen to me talk about them.
你是来看他们的 对吗
You came here to see 'em, am I right?
既然如此 闲话少说了...
In that case, without further ado...
现在 老公们 请离电视远一点
Now, husbands, please step away from the televisions
我现在为大家介绍的 是他们在国家电视台的首次亮相
as I present, in their national television debut,
欲望舞团的猛♥男♥们
the men of Chippendales.
那是你的创意 在全国电视上播出
That's your creation, on national television.
你们做到了
You did it!
好了
Well, well, well.
你们觉得怎么样 再来点掌声 女士们
How about that? Let's get another round of applause, ladies.
请在镜头后保持安静
我们得让你接上麦克风
We need to get you mic'd.
准备好拍特写了吗 德·诺亚先生
Are you ready for your close-up, Mr. De Noia?
我是说 可能会有多少观众在看 二百万 三百万
I mean, how many people could possibly be watching. Two million? Three?
一千四百万
Fourteen.
-一千四百万 -一千四百万
- Fourteen? - Fourteen million.
他们能跟我来吗
Can they come with me?
-来吧 在演员休息室 -跟我来
- Come on, in the green room. - Come with me.
恭喜 菲尔 一千四百万人 好的
Congrats, Phil. Fourteen. All right.
如果你和我一样
Well, if you're anything like me,
你可能会想
you're probably wondering to yourself,
到底是谁想出的这个创意
who the heck came up with this?
什么样的头脑
What kind of mind?
我们马上就知道了