明迪烦事多（2012）

The Mindy Project S05E12

Part 2 April 29, 2021, 2:07 p.m.

Whoa, am I giving myself a boner?
我去我这是立起来了么
Cool.
厉害了
Okay, chill out. You asked for this.
好了放松你自己要求这样的
So you're a white man now.
你是一个白种男人了
Whoa, bitch, you're a white man now.
天呢婊♥子♥ 你是个白人了
Wow, everything about my life is different as a guy.
天啊当个男的就什么都不一样了
Look at this man cave.
看看这个男人的窝
Leather furniture, football stuff, humidor.
皮质家具橄榄球的东西雪茄盒
So who the hell am I?
我到底是谁啊
Michael Lancaster? That's white as hell.
Michael Lancaster 可有够白的
Basically a Whit Stillman character.
就像Whit Stillman 写的那种角色
Whoa, I'm so white I know who Whit Stillman is.
天啊我白到居然还知道Whit Stillman是谁
Man, that is a lot of light brown.
我去太多浅棕色了吧
Guess I'm not a gay man.
那我应该不是弯的
Hmm, no ring.
嗯没带戒指
Looks like I'm a divorced baby daddy.
看起来我像个单亲爸爸
I bet some skank took me for all I'm worth.
肯定是哪个小婊♥子♥把我用完即弃啊
Ooh, I have to pee. This is gonna be cool.
啊我要尿尿了有点儿意思
Whoa, Niagara Falls much?
天啊尼亚加拉瀑布一般
I wish my shower had this kind of water pressure.
我的淋浴喷头有这么大水压就好了
Well, now that that's out of the way,
好了尿干净了
let's see what else this bad boy can do.
咱们来瞧瞧这哥们儿还能干点儿啥
Well, it's definitely not as good for guys.
好吧体验肯定是没有女生好了
It's much easier though.
但是确实容易多了
And the finish certainly has a wow factor.
结束的时候确实很神奇
Oh, crap! I'm late for work!
糟了我要迟到了
I'm never gonna get ready in time!
我肯定不够时间来准备的
What the hell?
搞什么
Guys can get dressed in no time
男人不用花时间打扮
and still look great.
也能这么好看
I even have time for one more...
我居然还有时间再
Remember, you're a white guy named Michael.
记住你是个叫Michael的白人男子
You like sports, and chicks, and classic rock.
你喜欢运动女人还有经典摇滚
Hi, Tam...
嗨 Tam
Morning, Tamra.
早上好 Tamra
Good morning, Dr. L. How was your evening?
早上好 L医生你昨晚怎么样
Really?
什么情况
But you never ask me how my evening was.
你以前从来没问过我昨晚怎样
Usually when I walk in, you tell me I'm late
一般我一进来你就跟我说我迟到了
and I have a stain on my poncho.
还有我的披肩上有个脏东西
Dr. L, you're hilarious.
L医生你太逗了
Obvious, I know. I'm basically Kevin Hart.
当然了我知道我基本上就是Kevin Hart
But I crack hilarious jokes constantly around here,
但是我经常在这儿讲段子
and no one ever laughs.
从来没人笑过
Hahaha, you're on a roll.
哈哈哈你真是势不可挡
Whoa, for the first time in my life,
天啊人生第一次
women find me charming.
有女人觉得我有魅力
People find me charming.
人们都觉得我有魅力
Everyone, I have an important announcement.
各位我有个重要的事情要宣布
Oh.
啊
Wait, none of you are rolling your eyes
等下没人在翻白眼
or making false guesses that would ultimately insult me.
也没人胡乱猜测来侮辱我
Why would we do that?
我们为啥要做那些
If you have an announcement to make, Mike,
如果你要宣布♥什♥么 Mike
we would certainly like to hear it.
我们都会洗耳恭听的
Should I take notes?
我要记笔记吗
No, no, no.
不不不用
Um, my announcement is
我要宣布的就是
I hope everyone has a terrific day.
我希望大家都能有美好的一天
Ohh. Well.
哇好的
That's nice. Yeah.
说的真好是啊
You have a terrific day too, Mike.
也祝你一天顺利 Mike
Hear, hear. What an effective use of our time.
听听真会利用时间鼓舞人心呢
Dr. L, I got your usual from the drug store.
L医生我从药店拿了你的常规药
Ah, my eye serum? My gout cream?
啊我的眼霜吗痛风膏吗
What? No, it's Mega Mass weight gain powder.
啥不是是增肌蛋白粉
Remember, you're trying to bulk up for swimsuit season?
你忘了吗快要穿泳装啦你说还想要再结实一点
Holy shit. I'm trying to gain weight?
我了个去我想要长肉吗
Being a white man rules.
当个白种男人简直了
Hey!
嘿
No, never mind. Sorry, thank you.
不不用了抱歉谢谢你
No.
不用了
Ohh!
哇呀呀
No, I'm good.
不不用了
So you're fine with this course of treatment?
那你觉得这样的治疗安排没问题吗
You're not gonna disagree with me
你不会反驳我说
because you read something different on WebMD?
和你在网上看到的不一样
No, of course not. I mean, you're the doctor.
不当然不会毕竟你是医生啊
Whatever you say goes.
你说什么都行
Okay.
好吧
Turns out, everyone's right.
看来大家说的没错
Being a white man is the best.
当一个白种男人最爽了
I can eat whatever I want.
想吃什么就吃什么
People think everything I say is hilarious.
说什么大家都觉得好笑
And all of culture is designed
所有的文化现象都是
to entertain and delight me.
专门为愉悦我而设计的
Dr. L, it's time for your second-round interview at the hospital.
L医生医院的二次面试时间到了
I brought your blue shirt,
我带了你的蓝色衬衫
'cause it makes your eyes look more lupine.
它能让你的眼睛更有狼性
Wait, I got a second-round interview?
等等我进了第二轮面试
Wait, my eyes are blue?
等等我的眼睛是蓝色的
Of course you got a second interview.
你当然进了第二轮
You're Dr. L. People never say no to you.
你是L医生啊人们永远不会拒绝你
Remember that policeman let you shoot his gun?
记得那个让你试他的枪的警♥察♥吗
Wow, the meritocracy is real.
哇哦真的有贵族阶级
As long as you're male and white.
前提是你是白人男性
Michael!
Michael
Hey. How you doing?
嘿最近怎么样
We, uh... we play racquetball together.
我们呃我们一起玩过壁球
Ah. We do?
啊有吗
You're right, can't call what we do playing, right?
你是对的我们那怎么能叫"玩"呢是吧
Well, Mike and I go way back as well.
我也和Mike认识很久了
Our kids have the same ADHD doctor.
我们的孩子看同一个多动症医生
Between your little monsters and mine,
给你家和我家的小混♥蛋♥们花的钱
we bought that psychiatrist his boat, am I right?
我们相当于给那个精神医生买♥♥了条船了对吧
So should I talk to you guys about my qualifications?
我是不是该和你们说说我的资历了
No, it's okay. No, we know 'em.
不用没事我们都知道
Well, if you guys are worried
好吧如果你们担心
that I won't be able to juggle this job with my three kids,
三个孩子会影响我的工作
don't be because...
不要这样想因为
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
喔喔喔
Why would we worry about that?
我们为什么要担心那个
I mean, doesn't Nicole take care of them at her house?
难道孩子们不是在Nicole那让她带吗
Oh, no.
哦不
Did Nicole have to go back to Tranquil Palms?
Nicole还得回精神病院吗
I thought the shocks were working.
我以为电休克疗法有用呢
No, no, no, she's fine. I think.
不不不她很好至少我是这么认为的
But don't I need to tell you why I would be an effective leader?
真不需要我说说我为什么能成为成功的领袖吗
I mean, I heard you were asking other people that, so...
我是说我听说你们这样问了其他人所以
I don't need to ask you.
我不需要问你
I can tell you're a good leader just by looking at you.
只要看你的样子我就知道你是一个天生领袖
Yeah, I'd follow that jaw line off a cliff.
没错我愿意随着你的下颌线跳崖
Damn, I could get used to this.
该死的我开始享受这样了
Awesome.
棒极了
So is that it?
就是这样吗
Bros?
老兄
You know, look, between you and me,
听着私下告诉你
and we're gonna meet with a couple other people,
我们还要面试其他几个人
but you got this thing locked in.
但是这个位子你十拿九稳了
I'm dying for a Scotch. Is it noon?
我急需一杯苏格兰威士忌到中午了吗