明迪烦事多（2012）
The Mindy Project S05E05
Part 1
April 29, 2021, 2:05 p.m.
Jeremy, thanks for taking me to a musical.
Jeremy 多谢你带我去音乐会
What old bag is starring in "Chicago" This week?
这周是哪个老戏骨要来演<芝加哥>
This isn't "Chicago."
我们要看的不是<芝加哥>
No, we're not watching a musical at all.
我们根本就不是要去看音乐剧
This is a straight play. - A play?
这是一场独角话剧 一场话剧
What am I gonna dance in the aisles to?
我还想在走道里跟着跳舞呢
A boring-ass monologue?
结果你带我看闷到爆的独角戏
All right, I'm out of here. - Oh, no, no, no, no.
算了吧 我不去了 哦 别走啊
Trust me, you're gonna love this show.
相信我 你会喜欢这场话剧的
How could you not when the star is Leland Breakfast?
你一定会喜欢 主演可是Leland Breakfast
Leland Breakfast? Who dat?
Leland Breakfast 这是哪位啊
He's only the bad boy of the London theater scene.
他是个伦敦剧院舞台上的狠角色
His one-man adaptation of "The Miracle Worker"
他改编的独角戏版<奇迹的缔造者>
was, ugh, sensation on the West End.
在伦敦西区造成了轰动
A play was a sensation?
一场话剧能这么轰动
Do they not have TV there?
他们难道没电视看吗
Yeah, Leland was actually an old chum of mine
Leland算是我的老相识了
from university from Drama Club, yeah.
我们在大学戏剧社认识
Actually, the two of us really bonded
我们俩其实还挺亲近的
when he and the others hazed me into hospital.
他和其它同学把我欺凌进了医院
Water.
这是水
It has a name.
这就是它的名字
Wah...
水
Water.
这是水
Pump.
这是水泵
Yes, pump.
是的 水泵
Son of a bitch.
我受够了
Sorry, can we have the house lights up, please?
不好意思 能不能把屋里的灯打开
Yeah, you, in the front row.
第一排的那位
The one dressed as a birthday cupcake.
穿得跟生日纸杯蛋糕似的那位
You've been on your bloody mobile the entire show.
你从一开场就抱着那烂手♥机♥
Ex-squeeze me? Me?
不好意思 你说我吗
I will have you know, that I am a doctor.
你得知道 我可是个医生
Shh. Shh. Shh. Yes.
嘘 别说了 是的
And I was dealing with a medical emergency...
我正在处理一个紧急医疗事件
No, no, no, no, no. So I guess I'm the real
不不不 别这样 看来我才是这里
Miracle Worker here.
真正创造奇迹的人
Give it.
手♥机♥交出来
Oh, God. Um...
哦天啊 呃
Give it. Uh...
交出来 呃
Stop talking. Give it.
住口吧 拿出来
Oh, yes, she was on Instagram,
哦没错 她在刷Instagram
ladies and gentlemen.
女士们 先生们
Wha... Yes, that's right.
闹哪样 没错
Commenting on a photograph of Amanda Seyfried's dog.
她在评论Amanda Seyfried的狗
She's just so into that dog.
她太喜欢那只狗了
Do you know, I have half a mind to drop this
我有点想把这个手♥机♥
in a pitcher of...wah... Oh, no.
丢到这罐水 水里 哦不
Wah...
水
Aah!
啊
Leland, you were marvelous.
Leland 你太不可思议了
Like Helen Keller
就跟海伦凯勒一样
I, too, was blinded by tears
我被你感动 哭到失明了
and deafened by my own applause.
为你鼓掌 鼓到自己都震耳欲聋
Hang on a tick, do I know you?
稍等一下 我认识你吗
Yeah, we were at uni together.
当然 我们是大学同学
Jeremy Reed.
Jeremy Reed
You may remember me as Princess Wanker.
你可能把我名字记成了"撸管公主"
I'm just having a laugh, Princess Wanker!
我逗你呢 撸管公主
How are you, you dear, sweet little man?
亲爱的朋友 你怎么样了
Oh. See, Mindy? We're such good friends.
你看 Mindy 我们关系多铁
Sorry, are you with her?
不好意思 你跟她是一起的
Is she off her knob? Very much so.
这人是不是有病啊 病挺重的
Okay, I am the customer here.
我是你的顾客
It is your job to entertain me.
你的工作就是取悦我
If I have to go on my phone, have I failed,
我无聊到要玩手♥机♥ 这是我的问题
or has theater failed?
还是这个剧的问题
Goodness, you are a little handful, aren't you?
天啊 你还真有点难搞啊
I actually had a look through the photos in your phone.
其实我看了一下你手♥机♥里的照片
I liked what I saw.
我挺喜欢
Mostly.
大部分照片吧
A couple were chilling.
有对夫妻挺吓人的
Okay, well, those photos are between me
好吧 那些照片是
and my eczema support group, so...
我和我的湿疹互助小组 所以
So where are we going for dinner?
我们去哪儿吃晚饭
Because I know what I'm having for dessert.
我已经知道要吃什么甜点了
That was a very sexy offer, but I cannot.
这邀请很性感 不过我不能接受
For one, you were extremely mean to me in a public setting.
首先 你刚才在大庭广众下对我很刻薄
Cheers.
干杯
And, also, I have a boyfriend, so...
而且 我有男朋友了 所以
Hey, hey, what the hell are you doing?
嘿 你在干嘛
Stop being insane and accept his offer.
别发疯了 快接受邀请
You're pushing 40. I'm 12.
你都奔四了 我才12岁
I'm...I'm 12.
我 我12岁
Well, if you change your mind,
如果你改变主意了
I put my number in your phone.
我把我的电♥话♥存在你手♥机♥里了
Thank you.
谢谢
It's a British number, so it'll cost you
是个英国号♥码 所以每发一个短♥信♥
$15 per text.
会花掉你15美元
But trust me, I'm worth it.
但相信我 我值这个价
Oh, my God. Wow.
哦 我的天 哇
I think he was kind of into me. I agree.
我觉得他挺喜欢我的 我也觉得
He must be back on the opiates.
他肯定要回去抽鸦♥片♥了
Good morning, everyone, I have an announcement.
早上好 各位 我有个事宣布
Acclaimed thespian and close, personal friend,
知名的艺术家 我的亲密好友
Leland Breakfast is in town
Leland Breakfast来了
and I'm throwing him a party.
我要为他办一场派对
Now, this event is very important to me,
这个活动对我来说很重要
so while protocol demands that I invite you all,
出于礼节 我会邀请你们都来参加
I trust some of you will know not to come.
但我相信有些人会识趣地不到场
Who're you looking at?
你在看谁呢
Is there a loser behind me?
我背后有哪个屌♥丝不该去吗
Oh, a party for Leland Breakfast.
哦 一场为Leland Breakfast而办的派对
I'm gonna bust out my pearls.
我要把我的珍珠项链戴上
Sorry, a party for that guy in the play?
抱歉 要为演话剧的那个人举办派对
Yeah. Who cares?
是啊 谁会想去啊
If I want to hang out with Broadway stars,
如果我想约个百老汇明星
I'll just turn on Grindr in a Mormon church.
我只要在摩♥门♥教♥堂刷基佬版陌陌就好
No, no, no, no, no.
不不不
Leland Breakfast is not just some Tonys nerd.
Leland Breakfast不是只知道托尼奖的呆子
He's Doctor Universe in the Marvel movies.
他在漫威电影里扮演宇宙博士
You know, the superhero with the power
就是那个有超能力的超级英雄
to manipulate the universe?
能控制宇宙的那个
It's kind of an unspecific power, isn't it?
这超能力不够具体啊
It could mean anything.
可能是指任何能力
Or nothing. Duh.
或者什么能力也没有 才不是
Not knowing that is his greatest weakness.
他最大的弱点是不知道自己有超能力
Okay, watch this, watch this.
好吧 看这个 看这个
There's a scene in "Avengers 3: Civil War 2: Requiem"
<复仇者联盟3:无限战争>中有个场景
where Doctor Universe is hurled back into a black hole.
宇宙博士被投入黑洞
I remember that.
我记得这一幕
I remember thinking, "You know,
我记得 当时我在想
"Perhaps if Doctor Universe can escape
"如果宇宙博士能逃得出
"Loki's vibranium chains, then...
洛基振金锁链的控制 那么
"Uh, maybe I could escape...
或许我也可以
The chains of my third marriage."
逃得出我的第三次婚姻"
Okay, I didn't know he knew Cobie Smulders.
好吧 我不知道他认识Cobie Smulders
I like him now. He's cool.
我现在喜欢他了 他很酷
Eh, I don't know.
呃 该怎么说呢
Those superhero films, they're so low-brow.
这些超级英雄电影都太低俗了
明迪烦事多（2012）
The Mindy Project
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