政界小人物（1996）

Spin City S05E09

Part 1 June 30, 2021, 4:01 p.m.

Angie 能给Allison送束花吗
Angie, could you send flowers to Allison
留张卡片就写"昨晚很特别
with a note that says, "Last night was special.
想着你的 Charlie"
Thinking of you... Charlie"?
你太贴心了
That is so sweet.
可不是
Yeah, it is.
能不能也给Jennifer送束花
Could you also send flowers to Jennifer...
卡片上写 "昨晚很特别
with a note that says, "Last night was special.
想着你的
"Thinking of you...
Charlie"
Charlie"?
我就应该给你印一摞这类卡片出来
Maybe I should get a bunch of those cards printed up.
不行这样太没人情味了
No, that would be so impersonal.
难以置信
I don't believe it.
你怎么又去买♥♥鞋了
You went shoe shopping again?
我缺那么一双凉鞋
I needed sandals...
还有靴子木屐松糕鞋还有高跟鞋啊
And boots and clogs and platforms and pumps.
Mike去津巴布韦好几周了
Mike's been in Zimbabwe for weeks.
你这明显求爱不得买♥♥鞋宣泄
You're obviously substituting clogs for sex.
我时不时买♥♥东西
Just because I go shopping a few times
不一定就因为我想着
doesn't mean I'm preoccupied with...
是我眼花了还是他裤子缩水变紧了
is it me, or have his pants gotten tighter?
现在你又嚼上冰了
Now you're chewing ice.
你应该挂个牌子
Why don't you just wear a sign
写着 "上我吧"
that says, "I need some"?
穿上这高跟鞋就更好了
Better yet... put on those pumps.
嚼冰这事
You know, that whole chewing-ice thing
不过是青春期才有的传说罢了
is just a juvenile myth.
是我眼花了还是他裤子缩水变紧了
Is it me, or have his pants gotten tighter?
怎么没人告诉我
Someone should have warned me
今天轮到Paul买♥♥贝果面包了
it was Paul's turn to buy the bagels.
这是什么
What is this?
这是正宗人造熏鲑鱼
That is authentic imitation lox.
你连熏鲑鱼都买♥♥假的
You bought fool's lox?
若刺♥激♥持续请暂停使用
"Discontinue use if irritation persists."
趁我眼睛还没肿得睁不开赶紧开始吧
Let's start before my eyes swell shut.
好消息是自市长任职以来
Some good news... since the mayor took office,
创造了20万新职位
200,000 new jobs have been created.
他宣称赢下了失业战争
He's declaring victory in the war on unemployment.
考虑到这
With that in mind,
他打算开始
he wants us to start thinking of...
新的战争
New wars.
跟宾州开战怎么样
How about a war on Pennsylvania?
抱歉
I'm sorry.
等下我看过这些就业数据
Wait. I've seen the employment figures.
大都最低工资职位
Most of the new jobs are minimum wage.
那也是新的就业你别搞事
They're still new jobs. Don't make waves.
大家早上好听到新闻了没
Good morning, everybody! Oh, did you hear the news?
我刚跟他们说了新工作机会的事
I just told them about the new jobs.
不是这个
No, not that...
今天是米基鲁尼的生日
today is Mickey Rooney's birthday!
市长先生恕我直言
Mr Mayor, with all due respect,
我们没有战胜失业
we have not won the war on unemployment.
这只是权宜之计
All we've done is create a temporary fix,
不是长久之道
not a long-term solution.
知道了
Okay.
熏鲑鱼啊
Ah, lox!
先生还没有胜利
Sir... It's not a victory...
Carter
Carter, please...
今天是米基鲁尼生日放过他吧
Not on Mickey Rooney's birthday.
我的职责就是照顾那些弱势群体
My job here is to look out for the disenfranchised...
那些没有话语权的人
the people who have no voice.
市长先生
Mr. Mayor, I appeal to you,
恳请您别忽视这个问题
please don't ignore me on this issue.
天啊这熏鲑鱼里有根鸡骨头
My God, there's a chicken bone in my lox!
我能跟你说点私事吗
Can I talk to you about something personal?
连着两天穿同一件衬衫
There's nothing wrong
完全不是个事儿
with wearing a shirt two days in a row!
外国人就都这么干
People in other countries do it all the time.
自从Mike离开纽约我就有点孤单
Since Mike left New York, I've been a little lonely.
Claudia也离开你了我想这感觉你最懂了
I figured you'd understand since Claudia left home,
你距离上次有肌肤之亲应该已经
and you probably haven't had sex in...
两年了
Two years.
但她离家做修女才一个月啊
But she just left to become a nun a month ago.
她去修道院才一个月
She went into the convent a month ago.
从98年10月4日她就变成住家修女了
She began practicing at home October 4, 1998.
你是怎么做到的我购物成疯了
How do you deal with it?! I have been shopping like crazy!
Caitlin 忍♥受苦逼单身的唯一办法
Caitlin, the only way to come to terms with celibacy
就是去接受它
is to embrace it.
佛曰
See, Buddha teaches
众生所有苦生皆以爱欲为本
that life is suffering caused by craving or desire.
而一旦断除恶欲
Well, once you eliminate those evils,
痛苦也就消散了
the suffering stops.
照你这样讲
According to that,
你消灭了痛苦不也就消灭了生命
if you eliminate suffering, you eliminate life.
别往那想
Unh-unh... don't pull that thread.
跟你说
You see...
我发明了个三步法则
I've developed a 3-step system.
首先当你有需求时
First, when you feel the urge,
把能量聚集在内部
focus that energy inward...
我称之为"挖隧♥道♥"
"Tunneling," I call it.
看就像给马戴上眼罩
See, on a horse, it's called "Blinders."
然后手不要停
Second, keep your hands busy.
我就会玩儿杂耍
I like juggling.
最后也是最有力的工具
Okay, the third and most powerful tool
来压抑性♥欲♥望
to suppress sexual desire...
班卓音乐
banjo music.
咱们来把话说说明白
Just to know where we're coming from,
你多长时间没有 - 呃
how long has it been since you... - Uh...
三周了
Three weeks ago.
哦拜托
Oh, please.
我送Mike到机场下着雨
Mike was taking me to the airport. It was raining.
然后
Yeah?
我的衬衫身上都被雨淋湿了
It was raining on my blouse, it got wet,
于是玲珑尽显
and you could see right through it.
好了好了不要再说了
Okay, okay... yeah, yeah, yeah.
给Angie带的咖啡
Bringing Angie coffee, huh?
你给我滚出去
Get out of here.
Stuart 你都不是她喜欢的类型
Stuart, you're not exactly her type.
你说她是拉拉吗
You mean she's a lesbian?
这我倒不介意
Cause I'm okay with that.
不 Angie那么酷那么时尚
No, it's just that Angie's cool, hip...
还有点狂野
a little wild.
看她甚至骑摩托车
Look, she even rides a motorcycle.
上次我开个天窗你就崩溃了
You freaked out the last time I opened the sunroof.
嘿你们干嘛呢
Hey, guys, what's up?
就是看看这张照片
Oh, uh, just checking out this picture.
装备太棒了
Sweet...Rig.
你也骑摩托车吗
You ride?!
就像从地狱射出的恶魔
Like a demon shot from hell.
你的车是哪种
So what kind of bike do you have?
施文者
Schwinn-ster.
你真有趣
You're funny.
我开玩笑的
Yeah, I was joking.
你能帮我个大忙么
Well, you know, you can do me a really big favor.
今晚我有个单身女聚会
I have this bachelorette party tonight...
我来
I'll do it,
但要穿丁字裤才行
but I won't go beyond a g-string.
我是想让你把我的车子骑回家
I was gonna ask if you could take my bike home with you.
我说不好
I don't know.
太感谢了 - 没问题
I'd really appreciate it. - Okay.
对了你喜欢星冰乐吗
By the way, do you like frappuccino?