老爸有招
Man with a Plan
第二季
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老爸有招
Man with a Plan S02E10
Part 2
April 12, 2020, 9:52 a.m.
There it is.
乔 麻烦你帮我把它拿出去
Joe, why don't you take that outside for me?
好 这个仙人球一定会喜欢雪的
Oh, yes, this cactus will love the snow.
我去看看我的新项链
I'm gonna go see how my new necklace looks.
我儿子都送这么好的礼物了
If this is what my son got me,
真期待我老公会送什么给我
I can't wait to see what my husband gets me.
你为什么这么对我
What are you doing to me?
怎么了
What?
你说你要送巧克力
You told me you were getting her chocolates,
所以我给她买♥♥了花
so I got her flowers.
现在花要躺进垃圾桶跟这个
Now the flowers are just gonna sit in the trash
河豚作伴了
with this-this blowfish in a pot.
我不是想让你难堪
I didn't mean to ruin your day.
我是想让他难堪
I was just trying to ruin his.
并不难堪
It's not ruined.
情人节还没有结束呢
Valentine's Day isn't over yet.
长子 将会卷土重来
The firstborn will rise again.
走吧 小唐 我们去礼品店
Come on, Donny, let's head to the Hallmark store
看能不能拯救这次灾难
and see if we can pull out of this nosedive.
情人节快乐
Happy Valentine's Day!
一本书
A book?
我们惹你生气了吗
Are you mad at us?
我们开玩笑呢
Ah, we're just kidding. u202d
情人节快乐
Happy Valentine's Day.
看到他们的表情没
Oh, did you see their faces?
-他们还以为要读书了呢 -是啊
- They thought they were gonna have to read. u202d- I know.
等等 等一下
Oh, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
情人节还没结束呢
Valentine's Day isn't over yet.
该爸爸的礼物了
It's time for Daddy's gift.
爸爸的礼物
Daddy's gift?
我还以为爸爸没有礼物
I thought Daddy didn't get a gift.
这是妈妈说的 爸爸信了
That's what Mommy said and Daddy believed her.
打开
Open it.
我不想开
I don't want to.
来 开吧
No, go ahead.
好吧 但我打开之前
Uh, o-okay, b-but before I do,
要说清楚 按我们之前讲好的
just to be clear, as previously agreed upon,
我没给你准备礼物
I... I didn't get you anything.
是啊 当然啦
Okay, sure.
好吧
Okay.
我要打开了
I'm going in.
是冰球桌游
It's a table hockey game!
屏幕在哪
Where's the screen?
它能连上无线网吗
Does if have Wi-Fi or...?
和我小时候玩的那个一样
It's just like the one I had when I was a kid.
我好喜欢
I love it!
好的
Ah, good.
我只是想让你知道 你对我有多重要
I just had to show you how much you mean to me.
好的 就这样了
Okay. That's it.
这个情人节太棒了
That was a great Valentine's Day, yeah.
一切都已经结束了 所以
But everything is over now, so...
好的
Okay.
那我就去厨房♥了
Well, I guess I'll just go to the kitchen,
因为一切都结束了
'cause everything's over now.
好的
Okay.
我走了
Here I go.
好的 走吧
Okay. Buh-bye.
谁能告诉我这是怎么回事 我给谁五元钱
Okay, five bucks for anyone who can tell me what just happened.
他没有送你项链
He didn't give you the necklace?
没有 这不合常理
No. It doesn't make any sense.
除非他有个也叫安迪的女朋友
Unless he's got a girlfriend who's also named Andi
还生了三个长得跟我们家孩子一样的孩子
with three kids that look a hell of a lot like ours.
也许他送你的方式
Oh, maybe the way he's gonna give it to you
也是惊喜的一部分
is part of the surprise.
对 就是这样
Yeah, that's it, that's it.
晚上他请了他爸妈来吃饭
He-he invited his parents over tonight.
我打赌肯定是让他们帮着看孩子
I bet they're gonna babysit
然后我们好出去吃浪漫晚餐
while we go out for a romantic dinner
然后上甜点的时候 上的其实是项链
and then, instead of dessert, it's the necklace.
如果他把项链藏甜点里的话 要小心了
Yeah. If he hides it in dessert, be careful.
我肚子里还有条手链没排出来呢
I still have a tennis bracelet somewhere inside me.
突破
Whoa, break.
你们怎么来了
Wh-What are you guys doing here?
不是来吃晚饭吗 这才三点
I thought you were coming for dinner. It's only 3:00.
我早点来 好给大家时间羡慕我的项链
We came early to give people time to admire my necklace.
人都哪去了
Where is everyone?
安迪出去办点事
Uh, uh, Andi's out running errands,
晚点就回来了 你知道的 晚餐时间
but she'll be back later, you know, at dinnertime.
没给你准备零食就走了
Aw. She left you without snacks?
别担心
Don't worry,
妈妈来了
Mama's here now. Mm.
我去煎个奶酪
I'll fix grilled cheeses.
要不你明年送她个金饭铲
Maybe next year, you can buy her a golden spatula
这样就能给她的金童做煎奶酪了
so she can make a grilled cheese for her golden boy.
说起礼物
Hey, listen, speaking of gifts,
安迪说不想要礼物 所以我就没有送
Andi said she didn't want a gift, so I didn't get her one.
结果她送我礼物了 我该担心吗
But then she got me one. Should I be worried?
你该改名换姓逃去加拿大
You should be changing your name and moving to Canada.
-我就知道有阴谋 -当然
- I knew it was a trap! - Yeah.
69年的时候 我轻信了我不需要礼物这句话
I fell for that "I don't need a gift" Trick back in '69,
后来我在我的船里住了一个月
and I spent the next month living on my boat.
天啊 安迪肯定会
Man, Andi's gonna...
等等 我们家以前有船
Wait, we had a boat?
不是我们 是我
We didn't have a boat; I had a boat.
随便吧 我得给出去给安迪买♥♥个礼物
O-Okay, okay, I got to run out and find something for Andi.
礼品店怎么样
Hey, how was the Hallmark store?
好的都卖♥♥光了
Oh, picked clean. u202d
我上次看到男人们集体崩溃
I haven't seen men fall apart like that
还是在新兵训练第一天的时候
since the first day of basic training.
大家好啊
Hey! Hi, everybody!
大家为什么都到这么早
Why do people keep showing up early?
我想给妈妈新礼物
I wanted to give Mom my new present,
一副耳环
a pair of earrings.
耳环 我只能送她貂皮内衣
Earrings? I'm gonna have to buy her mink underpants
才能拼得过你俩了
to keep up with you two.
耳环两只 打败你的项链一条
Two earrings beats one necklace.
这就叫数学
That's math.
随便 没时间管这个了
Fine, fine. I don't have time for this.
我得去趟商场
I got to hit the mall.
显然安迪嘴里的不要礼物 意思是要礼物
Apparently, to Andi, "No gift" Means "Yes gift."
你为什么不直接把金项链给她
Why can't you just give her the gold necklace?
什么
What?
你刚刚说什么
What-what did you say?
项链啊
The-the necklace.
慢炖煲里的金项链
The gold necklace in the slow cooker.
你怎么知道的
How do you know about that?
安迪发现的时候 我在场
Um, I was with Andi when she found it.
她发现了 安迪知道项链的事了
She found it? Andi knows about the necklace?
很遗憾 船我卖♥♥掉了
Too bad I sold the boat.
看起来你现在很需要它
Seems like you could really use it now.
我们在船上度过了非常愉快的时光 老爹
We had some good times on that boat, Pop.
你是跟我说 安迪以为
Are you telling me Andi thinks
我会带她吃惊喜浪漫晚餐
I'm gonna surprise her with the necklace
并送上惊喜项链 她说不要礼物的
at a romantic dinner? She said no gifts.
你为什么不把项链送她
Why didn't you just give her the necklace?
她说不要礼物
She said no gifts.
你再说这句话 我们就刻到你的墓碑上
Keep saying that and we'll be carving it on your tombstone.
她马上就要回来了
She's gonna be home any minute.
要是被她看到项链戴在我妈脖子上
If she sees that necklace on my mom,
她能用它勒死我
she's gonna strangle me with it.
也有好处 我的仙人球
老爸有招
Man with a Plan
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