老爸有招
Man with a Plan
第二季
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老爸有招
Man with a Plan S02E13
Part 1
April 12, 2020, 9:53 a.m.
贝弗 你那有四吗
Bev, you got any fours?
把我的四给你 把你的二给我
Give you my fours, you give me your twos.
好的
All right.
金罗美牌不是这么玩的
That is not how you play gin.
-金 -金
- Gin! - u202dGin!u202c
终于打完了 我一点也不惋惜
Well, I can't say I'm sad it's over.
正好你们在 是这样
Listen, before you guys go,
周六那天记得把时间空出来
I need you to clear your Saturday.
我们本来定好要去邮信的
Well, we were all set to mail a letter,
不过也可以等到周一去
but I guess we can wait till Monday.
好 因为周六是安迪的生日
Good, 'cause this Saturday is Andi's birthday,
我们要一起出去吃晚餐庆祝
and we're all going out to dinner to celebrate.
今年你提前准备了
You planned ahead this year?
通常当我们听你说到安迪生日的时候
Usually first time I hear about Andi's birthday
基本就是你在为你忘记了而道歉
is when you're apologizing to her for forgetting it.
我承认以前的我
Okay, I admit that in the past
偶尔会失去时间观念
I have occasionally lost track of time,
而被她的生日摆一道 我犯过这种错误
and her birthday snuck up on me. I've made some mistakes.
这就是我的瑜伽垫
This is my yoga mat.
对 你弄丢了 我找到了
Yeah, you lost it, and I found it.
生日快乐
Happy birthday.
你来了
There she is.
生日快乐
Happy birthday.
用此券可免费获得亚当按♥摩♥一次
"This coupon is good for one free massage from Adam.
背后还是胸前 任选
Back or front, your choice."
贴心警示 若选胸前
Fair warning, if we start on your front,
也许会逐渐增温
things will escalate quickly,
此时可用这张券
and then you can cash in this coupon.
你看到那俩卡♥通♥小人了吗
Did you see the cartoon people?
- 那不是天平 是我们 - 看到了
-It's not to scale, but that could be us. -Yeah.
-祝你... -是昨天
- Happy... - It was yesterday.
该死
Damn it!
但我要说 今年就不一样了
But I'm telling you, things will be different this year
因为安迪告诉我 必须不一样
because Andi told me they had to be.
他们走了没 你们好
Are they gone yet-- Hey!
幸好没错过你们
I'm so glad I didn't miss you guys.
生日计划还满意吗
So are you excited about your birthday plan?
妈 我还没告诉她呢 应该由我说
Ma! I haven't told her yet. I want to tell her.
好的 你去吧
Oh, fine, fine. Go ahead.
吃晚餐
It's a dinner!
你给我准备了生日计划
Y-You already planned my birthday?
这次我不会再收到自己的瑜伽垫了吗
You mean I'm not getting my own yoga mat again?
我故意为你搞丢了 以防万一
I lost it for you on purpose, just in case.
去找回来吧
Well, find it.
我在你最喜欢的餐厅订好了位置
I already made a reservation at your favorite restaurant,
安排好了孩子们去别人家睡
I scheduled the kids for sleepovers that night,
而且 最棒的是
and-- this is the best part--
晚餐订在 你生日当天
the dinner is on your actual birthday.
没有错
That's right.
现在我帅翻了 有没有
I'm pretty handsome now, aren't I?
有 帅翻了
Yeah, you are.
我们以前从来没在生日当天庆祝过
We've never gotten to celebrate on the real day before.
-是啊 -太令人兴奋了
- Yeah. - This is so exciting.
我们周日要去吃晚餐了
We're going to dinner Sunday!
少骗我 是周六
Yeah-- Ah-ah, nice try. It's Saturday.
你说得对 你做到了
You're right. You did it.
对 我做到了
Yes, I did.
其他的准备需要我来做吗
So do you want me to handle all the logistics?
需要 说需要
Yes, say yes.
什么其他准备 只是吃晚餐而已
What logistics? It's dinner with my parents,
我爸妈 大唐和玛茜 洛厄尔和他老婆
Don and Marcy, and Lowell and his wife.
很简单
It's easy.
她刚刚给你扔了条救生索 抓住啊 儿子
She's throwing you a lifeline. Grab it, son.
所以大家都来吗
So everybody's coming?
不过我还没发邮件呢
Well, I haven't sent out the e-mail yet.
-糟了 -糟了
- Oh, no. - Oh, no.
肯定没问题的
I'm sure it'll be fine.
这两位已经说会来了
These two already said they're coming.
我们还有自己的要求
Well, we do have some requirements.
你♥爸♥需要坐在厕所旁边 但不能正面对着
Your father needs to be near a bathroom, but not facing it.
他要足够方便
He-he wants the convenience,
但不喜欢跟进进出出的人有目光交流
but he doesn't like the eye contact when they come out.
你妈妈不能坐在地毯上吃饭
And, uh, your mother can't eat on a carpet.
她很容易受静电的影响
She's susceptible to static electricity.
有一次 我看见她被门把手电飞了
I've seen a doorknob make her fly right across the room.
看吧 没那么简单的
See? It's not easy.
还是交给我吧
I should take over.
亲爱的 已经解决了 好吗
Honey, it's handled, okay?
我订的包间 没有地毯
I got the private room no carpet.
厕所 就在转角的地方
And the bathroom is just around the corner.
你以为我会不知道他们有多矫情吗
You think I don't know how weird they are?
我们矫情 但还没聋
We're weird, but we're not deaf.
你真觉得自己可以搞定吗
So you really think you can pull this off?
现在你可燃起了我的希望了
Because now you're getting my hopes up.
如果希望之火倒了 砸的可是你
And if they come crashing down, they're gonna land on you.
我只需要发送邀请函而已
Look, all I have to do is send out the invitations.
一封邮件 搞定
One e-mail and... done.
我有异常的感觉
Something's happening to me.
是邮件 乔
That's the e-mail, Joe.
我就说你不要把新手♥机♥放在裤兜里嘛
I told you not to put your new phone in your pocket.
再给我发一封 好不好
Send another one, will you?
老爸有招 第二季第十三集
我和珍都很高兴 能被邀请参加安迪的生日晚餐
Jen and I are super excited to be invited to Andi's birthday.
一年前我们邀请你们吃过晚餐 从那以后
We took you to dinner a year ago, and since then,
就在等你们打电♥话♥ 还这个人情
we've been waiting for you to call and return the favor.
直到今天 晚餐伙伴
Until today, dinner buddy.
对了 安迪生日晚餐那事 玛茜说我们去不了
Hey, about Andi's birthday-- Marcy says we can't make it.
她已经跟陶艺课同学约好了 所以
She made plans with people from her pottery class, so...
陶艺课 那些都是陌生人
Pottery class? Those people are strangers.
我每周都要载你去急诊
I take you to urgent care once a week
把手上的钉子拔♥出♥来♥
to get a nail out of your hand.
取消掉
Cancel it.
我不能改玛茜的计划
I can't change Marcy's plans.
我只有一个老板 并不是你
I got one boss, and it ain't you.
你们一定要来
You guys have to come.
这是我当丈夫的信誉
This is about my reputation as a husband.
你要这么说
Well, when you put it that way,
我们还是去不了 但现在我完全不内疚
we still can't come, but now I don't feel bad.
那个讨厌的建筑检查员又来了
Here comes that mean building inspector.
她总是凶巴巴的
She always looks like she's trying to scare
像要吓唬打嗝的人一样
the hiccups out of someone.
高兴人不错
Joy's okay.
那天还邀请她跟鲁迪来吃过晚餐
We had her and Rudy over for dinner the other night.
你们才认识多久 算了
You just met her! No, no.
我已经得偿所愿 不强求了
I got what I wanted. I'll allow it.
电路检查得怎么样了
How'd the electrical check out?
一切都好吧 邻居
We all good out there, neighbor?
听好 虽然我跟你老婆是朋友
Listen, just because I'm friends with your wife?
不代表我会对你网开一面
doesn't mean I'm gonna let things slide around here.
如果有事 我对你会毫不留情
If anything, I'm gonna be tougher on you. Oh.
所以我痛苦地宣布 你合格了
So it pains me to say... you pass.
高兴 你和鲁迪愿不愿意周六
Joy, how would you and Rudy like to come
来参加安迪的生日晚餐
to Andi's birthday dinner on Saturday?
我们很愿意 不过有件事
We'd love to. Just one tiny thing--
我让鲁迪当了素食者 可他并不知道
I made Rudy a vegan, but he doesn't know it.
所以确保菜单里有一道菜是
So make sure there's something on that menu
看起来像肉 实际并不是肉的
that looks like meat, but isn't.
可怜的人 居然娶了她
Poor guy, married to her,
现在她还让他求死不能
and now she's gonna make him live forever.
-什么情况 -你说什么
- What was that? - What was what?
我和玛茜觉得 既然我们去不了
老爸有招
Man with a Plan
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