老爸有招

Man with a Plan S02E17

Part 3 April 12, 2020, 9:53 a.m.

Yup.
我正爽着呢
I'm in the sweet spot.
没想到你会想明白
I didn't think you'd figure it out.
你给我十七年我什么都能想明白
You give me 17 years, I can figure anything out.
所以活动躺椅是
So, recliners cause over
半数以上儿童骨折的原因
half of childhood broken bones, huh?
好的也许那是我估算出来的
Okay, I may have rounded it up.
或者编出来的
Or made it up.
重点是它是直的直立的东西才是好的
The point is it was up and when things are up, they're good.
这就是直立的规则
That's the rule of up.
听着
Look, okay.
我跟你说个真实的统计数据
Let me give you a real statistic.
这里就是我半生会待的地方
This is where I'm gonna be spending over half of my time,
我一半的饭都会在这吃
eating over half of my meals
并且质疑你说的半数以下的话
and believing less than half of what you say.
别这么小题大做
Let's not make a big deal out of this.
我就要
Oh, I'm gonna.
我从来不会撒谎说我不撒谎
I've never been on the not-lying side of a lie before.
我要享受享受
I am gonna enjoy this.
也许你值得享受
I guess you deserve that.
当然了
Oh, I do. Yeah.
你知道我在想什么吗
Because you know what I was thinking,
当我在匹兹堡精神的温暖怀抱椅子中时
sitting in the warm embrace of my Pittsburgh spirit chair?
没错这就是它的名字了
And, yes, that's what we're calling it.
你为什么要为一个活动躺椅撒谎
Why would you lie about a recliner?
这个部分和爱的保护泡泡有什么关系
How is that part of the protective love bubble?
我是在保护你
Well, I was protecting you
不要让你把那张丑椅子搬进我的客厅
from bringing that ugly chair into my living room.
所以这是为了你不是为了我
So this was for you, not me.
对你抓到我了
Yes. You caught me.
我抓到你了
I caught you.
我刚刚说过了
Yeah, I just said that.
我知道我都准备好了
I know. I had it in the chamber.
无论怎样都得说出来
I was gonna say it no matter what.
亲爱的爱的泡泡的初衷是好的
Honey, the love bubble started out innocently.
知道吗我让孩子们不要去做一件事时
Right? I-I'd tell the kids not to do something
他们会一直问为什么为什么为什么
and then they keep asking, "Why? Why? Why?"
这时候撒个小谎更方便
It was just easier to tell a little fib.
但后来我用到了你身上
But-but then I used it on you
然后我的爱的泡泡变成了
and-and-and my love bubble became a...
谎言气球
Lie balloon.
就像我刚刚说的啊哈再次嘲讽
Just like I said. Ah-ha again.
你说得对我很抱歉
And you were right and I'm really sorry.
什么
What?
你说得对我很抱歉
You were right and I'm sorry.
好吧我不知道要说什么了
Okay, I don't know what to say
因为我从来没想过会发生这种事情
because I never thought this would happen.
它发生了
Well, it's happening.
我不信你肯定有阴谋
I don't buy it. You're up to something.
怎么你以为我在撒谎吗
What, do you think I'm lying?
经历了多年的活动躺椅阴谋以后
After a multiyear recliner conspiracy,
我变得有些多疑
I tend to be a little skeptical.
我看着你呢
I got my eye on you.
该死我该买♥♥张带转圈的
Ah, damn. I should've sprung for the swiveler.
-安迪说了对不起 -对
- Andi said she was sorry? - Yup.
她很对不起自己因为嫁给了你
Like she's sorry she married you?
不是但有一些事情非常可疑
No, no, but something's... something's definitely fishy.
她说我说得对
She said I was right.
我娶的媳妇儿不是这样的
That's not the woman I married.
她肯定是赢取时间重新部署
I bet she's buying time to regroup.
她还做什么可疑的事了吗
Has she done anything else suspicious?
有她说她很不安所以要跟玛茜
Yeah. Yeah, she said she felt so bad that her and Marcy
跑到城市另一头的托尼餐厅
went all the way across town to Tony's
给我买♥♥我最喜欢的披萨当晚餐
to get my favorite pizza for dinner.
这是转移注意力的
That's a diversion.
肯定是在准备反击了
There's definitely gonna be a counterattack.
不过我很希望她们能买♥♥面包棒回来
Although I do hope she got breadsticks.
要骗我好吃的披萨还不够
It's gonna take more than great pizza to fool me.
没有错但她们要是买♥♥了面包棒回来就算了
That's right. But all bets are off if she got the breadsticks.
好的
Okay.
好的你可以等一下吗
O-Okay. Uh, can you hold on just for one second?
艾米的校长打电♥话♥来了
The principal from Emme's school is on the phone.
艾米一直在亲男生
Emme's been kissing boys.
什么我不希望我的宝贝做这种事
What? I don't want my baby doing that.
显然她一直在找她的白马王子
Yeah, well, apparently, she's been looking for her Prince Charming,
多谢你造的公主梦
thanks to your little princess kick.
你真厉害
You're good.
我懂这是怎么回事了
I see what's happening here.
我以为你会朝活动躺椅开火
I thought you'd come after the recliner,
但你绕了个大圈回到公主身上
but you're doing an end run all the way back to princesses.
什么
What?
不得不敬佩这技术
Got to admire the technique.
你的战术是什么
Yeah. So what's your game, huh?
让我因为艾米内疚到不行
I'm supposed to feel so bad about Emme
于是放弃我的活动躺椅
that I give up my recliner?
对吗对吗
Is that it? Is that it?
亚当我有一份工作还有三个孩子
Adam, I have a job and three children.
没时间跟你演犯罪大♥师♥ 好吗
I don't have time to be a criminal mastermind. Okay?
我跟你说了艾米的校长打电♥话♥来了
I'm-I'm telling you that Emme's principal is on the phone.
当然了古老的假电♥话♥
Oh, sure. The old fake phone call.
这次笨小子比你快一步了
Yeah, well, the kid is one step ahead of you this time, huh?
你说呢大唐
What do you think, Don?
这个酱料才是秘诀
It's the sauce. That's the secret.
电♥话♥那头是玛茜吧对吗
It's Marcy on the phone, isn't it?
她藏在哪了
Where's she hiding?
楼上吗还是储物室
Upstairs? In the pantry?
好的
Okay.
对我就是亚当·伯恩斯
Yeah. This is Adam Burns.
让我告诉你
Let me tell you something.
我女儿爱亲谁就能亲谁
My daughter can kiss whoever she wants.
事实上也许我会过去
In fact, maybe I'll come down there
也给你一个大么么玛茜校长
and give you a big kiss, too, Principal Marcy.
他在跟谁说话
Who's he talking to?
找你的
It's for you.
不
Nope.
你好
Hi.
我们明天一早就过去
We'll be there first thing in the morning.
好的夫人我一定会改正我的态度
Yes, ma'am, I do need to work on my attitude.
你要不要解释下刚刚怎么回事
You want to tell me what just happened here?
很有意思我以为
It's funny because I thought
你是有安排的
you were doing something,
可实际你说的是实话
but you were actually just being honest.
我把巧克力豆藏在书里了
I hide M&M's in a book.
看来我们的辛苦都白费了啊
I guess we got ourselves worked up for nothing out there, huh?
你还能怎么办对吧
Ah, what are you gonna do, right?
不过领教了你在电♥话♥里的行为以后
Although, after your behavior on the phone,
你女儿会这样我也不意外了
I shouldn't be too surprised about your daughter.
我再跟你说点别的
And I'll tell you something else.
亲男生就是一个完美的例子
Kissing boys is a perfect example
说明了我们为什么不鼓励这些荒谬的公主情结
of why we discourage these ridiculous princess obsessions.
别再看我了
Stop looking at me.
把我耳朵都看红了
You're making my ear hot.
好的听着
All right, listen.
我们要一起去跟艾米谈谈
We need to go in together and talk to Emme
关于这件亲男生的问题好吗
about this boy-kissing business. Okay?
我知道我们都犯过错
Now, I know we both made some mistakes.
我犯过错你犯的是大错
Well, I made a mistake and then you made a much bigger mistake.
重点是
The important thing is
我们在跟艾米谈的时候不许有泡泡不许撒谎
that when we talk to Emme we do it bubble-free. No lies.
同意但有些可惜了你懂吗
Agreed. But it's a shame, you know?
我跟泡泡一路走来相当默契