老爸有招
Man with a Plan
第二季
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老爸有招
Man with a Plan S02E20
Part 2
April 12, 2020, 9:54 a.m.
但是很难聊得起来
but conversation is difficult
因为我们总是打断彼此
because we keep interrupting each other.
你这个 简直就是教科书式进步
That right there-- that is textbook progress. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
我觉得是时候继续工作了
I say it's time to get back on the job.
说得对 没错
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah.
有研究表明
Studies show
辞去工作的人几乎是立刻就死去
that people who quit working die almost immediately. u202dHmm.
就我个人的感觉来看
Well, the way I've been feeling,
我回去工作大概是几个月后了
it could be months before I get back to work.
算了 其实我该走了
Hmm. u202dWell... You know what? Uh, I should go.
我现在不太能跟夫妻待在一起
It's, uh, difficult for me to be around couples right now,
尤其是你们这种
especially old ones like you
大半辈子都一起走过来的老夫老妻
who've made it through most of their lives together.
好了 拜
Okay, bye.
这是我们听过最扎心的夸奖了吧
That's the meanest compliment we've ever gotten.
对 但至少现在我们知道她需要什么了
Yeah, but at least now we know what she needs.
对 精神病院紧身衣
Yeah. A straitjacket.
不 是男人
No. A man.
对 要人帮她穿上紧身衣
Yeah, a man to put on the straitjacket,
那种衣服一个人穿不上的
'cause you can't put those on by yourself.
所以魔术师都有助手
That's why magicians have assistants.
是这样 丽莎说她太孤单了不想工作
Okay, look, Lisa said she was too lonely to work,
我理解 一个人过是挺辛苦的
and I get it. It's-it's... it's hard on your own.
要是我们能给她找个伴 就能修好她
So if we fix her up with someone, we fix her.
是啊 家里有人在的话
Yeah, having someone at home
真的会很想出门
really makes you want to get out of the house.
我们来牵线搭桥吧 亚当
Let's make a love connection, Adam.
好 咱们回家
Great. All right, let's go home.
我来列一下我不喜欢的男人
I'll make a list of some guys I don't like.
吐出来 我们吃不起这里的东西
Spit that out. We can't afford to eat here.
我想不到谁能让我讨厌到要介绍给丽莎
I can't think of anyone I dislike enough to set up with Lisa.
有没有谁刚从监狱出来的
Do we know anyone who just got out of prison?
那些人肯定不挑剔
I mean, you know, those guys aren't picky,
而且也很适应疯子室友
and they're used to crazy roommates.
好吧 进去之前 我先预警一下
Okay, uh, hey, listen, before we go in there, fair warning.
我准备躺在沙发上
I am laying down on that couch.
你要是想坐在我身上也可以
Now, it's fine if you want to sit on top of me,
但你要是挑起战斗就别后悔
but just be prepared to finish what you start.
好
Okay.
搞什么
Aw, come on!
失业太惨了
Unemployment blows.
可不是吗
Yeah, tell me about it.
有个人都把我枕头夹在大腿中间了
I'm looking at a guy with my pillow between his legs.
你看 《尖峰时刻3》
Check it out. Rush Hour 3.
天黑了 也就是说 我就算去睡觉
Just got dark. That means it's not weird
也不会太奇怪 晚安两位
for me to go to bed. Good night, guys.
-对了 我们今天见了丽莎 -好
- Hey, so listen, we just saw Lisa. u202d- Yeah.
她抑郁是因为太孤单
She's depressed because she's lonely.
安迪觉得要是能给她找个伴 她就能恢复
Andi thinks we can get her back to work if we find her a guy.
有道理
That makes sense.
她意识到无法拥有我的时候
When she realized she couldn't have me,
就开始走下坡路
she started going downhill.
所以这位不幸的男人是谁
So who's the unlucky fella?
我现在还不知道
Well, I don't know yet,
但是应该不难找吧
but it shouldn't be that hard to find one.
是啊 找女孩比较难
Yeah. u202dGetting a girl is hard.
但是找想要女孩的男人很简单
Getting a guy who wants a girl is easy.
我们只需要说 我们有个女孩
All we got to do is tell him we got a girl.
是啊 啤酒都有了
Yeah, I mean, we got the beer.
派对还会远吗
We're just looking for the party.
对
Yeah. u202dYeah.
我知道当月老挺奇怪的
Look, I know playing matchmaker's a little weird,
但我真的得采取措施
but I got to do something. u202dYeah.
我跟安迪整天待在一起
Andi and I are spending all our time together,
我刚发现 我有时候挺难缠的
and I just discovered-- I can be a lot to take.
我也是 但我不用自己发现
Yeah, me, too, but I didn't have to discover.
我来这里十分钟前玛茜跟我说了
Marcy told me ten minutes before I got here.
对啊 我走进家里的时候
Hmm. u202dYeah. When I walk in the door,
希望我妻子看到我很开心
I want my wife to be happy to see me,
关键在于 我要少出现
and the key to that is less of me.
-好 -真希望我们还有其他地方可以玩
- All right. u202d- I just wish we had another place to hang out.
你有地下室
Hey, you got the basement.
把沙发和电视搬下去吧
Let's move a couch and a TV down there.
我很乐意 但是放不下 没地方
Oh, I'd love to, but it won't fit. There's no room.
安迪的跑步机在下面
Aah. Andi's giant treadmill's down there.
她会用吗
Does she use it?
我们不聊这个
We don't talk about it.
那你问问她能不能扔了
Well, so ask her if you can get rid of it.
你是刚结婚吗
What are you, a newlywed?
不是
No. u202dHuh?
谁都知道不能跟女人聊锻炼的事
Everyone knows you can't talk to women about exercising.
上次我提到的时候 结局很不美好
The last time I mentioned it, it did not go well.
穿着运动裤 是准备去楼下锻炼吗
Hey, yoga pants, heading down to the basement to exercise?
你都催我去了
Well, I am now.
那个周末很安静
That was a quiet weekend.
我知道该怎么做了
Ooh. u202dI know what I'll do.
我直接扔掉 然后什么都不说
I'll just throw it away, and I won't say anything.
可以的
That could work.
玛茜每次做了烘肉卷我就这么干
That's what I do when Marcy cooks a meatloaf.
米克酒馆
你们能打给我太好了
I'm so glad you guys called.
我一直跟孩子们待在家里
I've been stuck home with my kids.
他们总把同样的故事说好几遍
They tell the same stories over and over.
洛厄尔 要是故事有趣 那就不会过时
Lowell, if it's a good story, it never gets old.
大家一起想想
Okay, come on, guys.
我们得想办法给丽莎安排相亲
We got to figure out who to set Lisa up with. Mm.
需要找一位绅士
We need a gentleman.
我去洗手间看看 我就找一个
I'll check out the bathroom, and come back
出来之后会洗手的人
with the first guy who washes his hands.
你看我身后那人
Okay, check out the guy behind me.
他的伴侣是本书
His date is a book.
-看着 -是啊
- Watch this. u202d- Oh, yeah.
我注意到你似乎一个人坐
Hey, uh, I noticed you were alone, and, uh...
我们有个女孩
we've got a girl.
听起来好可怕
That sounds creepy.
不 不是说她被关在笼子里什么的
No, no. She's not in a cage or anything.
听着 我认识这里的经理
Listen, I know the manager.
你叫什么名字
What's your name?
洛尔尔 我叫洛尔尔
Uh, Lowell. My name's Lowell.
我觉得这招需要有一个姑娘
I think we might need the actual girl here
真的坐在这里才行
for this to work. u202dYeah.
你把这事搞得太复杂了
You're-you're overcomplicating it.
看到那个穿皮夹克的了吗
See leather jacket over there? Yeah.
我只需要对他说出 我自己坐在酒吧时
I'll just tell him what I wanted people to tell me
希望听到的话
when I was sitting alone in bars.
瞧好了
Watch.
大家伙
Hey, big guy.
你好壮哦
You look strong.
你刚刚跟我说什么
What'd you say to me?
没什么 我叫洛厄尔
Nothing. My name's Lowell.
好了 我要离开这里 回家了
Yeah, I-I'm out of here. I'm going home.
等等 坐下
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Sit down.
我们得给丽萨找个男人 才能有活可做
We got to find a guy for Lisa so we can get back to work.
男厕所这个主意太糟了
u202dThe men's room was a bad idea.
我用错了开场白
I made a mistake by leading with,
想不想找点乐子
"Are you looking for a good time?"
说实话 我能活着回来就是走运了
Frankly, I'm lucky to be alive.
我们这里也没什么收获
Well, we're not doing much better out here.
如果有任何人问起 你绝对不叫洛厄尔
Oh, and if anybody asks, your name is not Lowell.
等等 这个人怎么样
Wait, wait, what about this guy?
鸡翅模特
老爸有招
Man with a Plan
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