老爸有招

Man with a Plan S02E09

Part 1 April 12, 2020, 9:52 a.m.

我们很高兴能帮你们看孩子
We're really excited to have the kids stay with us
让你们可以享受些成人时光
while you guys are away for a little grown-up time.
眨眼眨眼
Wink, wink.
妈你别眨眼眨眼
Ma, don't "Wink, wink."
会把成人时光毁掉的
You're gonna ruin grown-up time.
别担心亲爱的我买♥♥了新的内衣
Don't worry, honey, I got some new lingerie.
可以让你恢复雄风
You'll power through.
你们要去大西洋城了
So, you're going to Atlantic City.
以前我跟你妈妈在那儿玩得很开心哦
I've had some good times there with your mother.
我从来没去过大西洋城乔
I've never been to Atlantic City, Joe.
那就是某个幸运的姑娘
Well, some lucky lady.
不是大西洋城爸爸是拉斯维加斯
A-And it's not Atlantic City, Dad, it's Vegas.
我十分钟前就跟你说了
I told you that ten minutes ago
当时你在抱怨锡箔以前比现在的厚
when you were complaining about how tinfoil used to be thicker.
爷爷奶奶
Hi, Grandma. Hi, Grandpa.
我们肯定会跟这些小可爱玩得很开心的
Oh, we are gonna have such fun with these cuties.
我家里有块比你还重的糖
I have a candy bar at home weighs more than you do.
我爱你奶奶
I love you, Grandma.
我们希望凯特可以
And we're hoping that Kate
偶尔把看手♥机♥的头抬起来
looks up from her phone at some point.
什么
What?
我们还给你安排的特别的计划泰迪
And we've got something special planned for you, Teddy.
我修好了你♥爸♥爸以前的BB枪
I fixed up your dad's old BB gun.
你晚上睡觉最好小心点
You better sleep with one eye open.
我有你围着浴巾唱《冰雪奇缘》主题曲的视频
I've got a video of you singing "Let It Go" In your towel.
给泰迪 BB枪
A BB gun for Teddy?
别担心我爸爸是个好老师
Oh, don't worry, my dad's a great teacher.
我和大唐小时候都玩
Don and I both had 'em when we were kids.
没错我教会了儿子们如何像军人一样用枪
Oh, yeah, I taught my boys how to shoot the Army way.
安全第一
Safety first.
除非你是被查理的烂方法蹂躏过的
Unless you're being overrun by Charlie,
那你就只能跪地求饶了
then it's just spray and pray.
可泰迪那么小
But Teddy's so young.
这是伯恩斯的家族传统
But it's a Burns family tradition.
三代人传承知识
Three generations of men sharing knowledge
学习历史互相陪伴
and history and companionship.
这正是你喜欢的那种狗血情感戏
That's the kind of emotional crap you love.
我确实喜欢狗血情感戏
I do love emotional crap.
好吧你们一定要小心
Okay, well, just be careful.
趁她没改主意之前
All right, you better get out of here
你们赶紧走吧
before she changes her mind. Yeah.
好的亲爱的再见
Okay, honey, bye-bye. Bye-bye.
好了
So...
跟我讲讲大西洋城这个姑娘怎么回事
tell me more about this girl from Atlantic City.
亲爱的不要担心参赛选手是谁了
Honey, don't worry about who else played the game.
你赢得了冠军
You won the prize.
等不及教会你儿子怎么开枪了
I'm looking forward to teaching your boy how to shoot.
等泰迪学会了怎么用BB枪
Once Teddy learns how to use a BB gun,
我会给他看我的真枪的
I'll show him my real guns.
好了再见爸爸晚安了
Okay, bye, Dad, yup, night-night.
好的
Okay.
开车小心
Drive safe.
终于走了
Off you go.
等等他刚刚说什么
Wait-wait-wait, wh-what did he just say?
没什么老人的胡言乱语
Oh, nothing, just some old guy jibber-jab.
没什么可担心的
Nothing to worry about.
等等他家里有真枪
Wait, wait, wait. H-He has real guns at home?
不敢相信你居然没告诉过我
I can't believe you never told me that.
亲爱的我爸爸会打猎他是个兽医
Honey, my dad hunts, he's a vet.
我以为你知道呢我去里面了
I figured you knew. I'm gonna go in here now.
我也来里面
Oh, I'm gonna go in here, too.
孩子们经常去他们家
Look, our kids are over there a lot.
是啊想想有那么多枪保护着
Yeah, and think how safe they are
他们多安全啊
being protected by all those guns.
凯特出生的时候你处理掉了你的猎枪
Look, when Kate was born, you got rid of your hunting rifles.
我就是不理解为什么有人坚持要有枪呢
I just... I don't understand why people insist on having guns.
因为没有我这么聪明的人来给你解释
That's 'cause no one as smart as me has ever explained it to you.
好吧
Okay?
大家说这是他们的权利和自♥由♥
People say it's about their rights and their freedom,
但真♥相♥是枪好玩
but here's the real truth: guns are fun.
它会响大家喜欢啊
They go boom, people like that.
可是很危险
But they're dangerous.
在傻瓜的手里才危险
In the hands of idiots.
你想想你都不知道我爸爸有枪
But the fact that you never even knew my dad had 'em
这证明了他多么小心多么安全
proves how careful and safe he is.
我觉得只能证明你从来没告诉过我
I think it just proves that you never told me.
它可以证明两件事
It can prove two things.
抱歉但想到孩子们在那
I'm sorry, I'm-I'm just not comfortable
我会很不开心
leaving the kids there.
那我在拉斯维加斯会玩得不放心的
I just-- I-I won't be able to enjoy myself in Vegas.
不要别把拉斯维加斯扯进来
No, no, no, leave Vegas out of this.
我们已经被迫取消三次旅行计划了
We've had to cancel this trip three times.
好吧那你可以跟你♥爸♥爸谈谈
Okay, well, then talk to your dad
让他处理掉那些枪我们就能去了
about getting rid of his guns and we can go.
既然你反应这么强烈
If you feel so strongly about it,
也许你应该去跟我爸谈
maybe you should talk to my dad.
行
Okay.
我可以去跟你♥爸♥爸说把枪处理掉
Yeah, I'll tell your dad to get rid of his guns.
你可以跟我妈谈让她戴上文胸
You can tell my mom she has to start wearing a bra.
我选枪
I'll take the guns.
饭店经理劝她她都不听
If she's not gonna listen to the manager at the Golden Corral,
怎么可能会听我的
she's not gonna listen to me.
老爸有招第二季第九集
问题是这样的爸爸
So here's the thing, Dad.
我跟安迪聊过了
I had a talk with Andi,
你得处理掉你的枪
and you need to get rid of your guns.
你老婆太幽默了
Your wife is very funny, yeah. Yeah.
她是挺有意思的
Yeah, she's a hoot.
可昨晚你说起真枪以后
But after you brought up your real guns last night,
安迪就特别担心
Andi got all worried
下周孩子们要在你这住这件事
about the kids staying with you guys next week.
天我是最小心的人了
Oh, geez. No one's more careful than me.
我说了可她差点取消拉斯维加斯的旅行
I told her, but there's talk of calling off Vegas.
我需要早餐就穿着酒店浴袍喝着啤酒
Okay, I need to play blackjack in a hotel robe,
玩二十一点我需要它爸爸
holding a morning beer. I need it, Dad.
好吧
All right, all right.
我觉得安迪不喜欢枪
Look, I think Andi just doesn't like guns
是因为她从来没开过枪
because she's never shot one.
我就是这么想的
That's what I was thinking.
我们要不要带她去趟射击场
So how about we take her to the shooting range?
看看你多么负责
She can see how responsible you are,
也许能让她改主意
and we can change her mind.
我喜欢行
I like it. Okay, good.
顺便问一句你对成功地让她改变心意
By the way, how many times have you actually
有几次经验
changed her mind about something?
我不知道谁会一直数这种事
I don't know, who keeps track of that stuff?
零一点都不难数
Zero's not a hard number to remember.
想要新鲜的红萝卜举手哦
Who can say fresh radishes?
你不用举我会给你的
You don't have to say it, I'll just give you some.
这是我在自家花♥园♥里种出来的尝一个
I grew them in my garden. Have one.
不了谢谢我不想尝试新事物
No, thanks. I don't try new things.
大唐我们都谈过了
Don, we've talked about this,
开阔视野是件好事
it's good to broaden your horizons.
事实上洛厄尔百分十九十九的死亡
Well, actually, Lowell, in 99% of deaths,
你会发现那些死者
you'll find out that the deceased,
在某种程度上都是尝试新鲜事物了
at some point, tried something new.
但每个人都会尝试新事物
But everybody tries something new.
所以每个人都会死
And everybody dies.
你那阳刚之气的篮子里有番茄吗
You got any tomatoes in that man basket?
番茄我是喜欢的
I know I like those.
我也种了一些