工作伙伴凯文（2015）

So, I did it.
所以啊 我做到了
I finally did it.
我终于做到了
Congratulations!
可喜可贺啊
You finally came aboard the manscaping train.
你终于体会到脱毛的愉悦了
No. What? I bought a bed.
不 什么啊 我买♥♥了个床
Oh, you can... you can stand up when you manscape.
噢 你能 毛站着也能脱啊
You'll find out.
你会知道的
Brian, I actually bought, like, a real bed.
布莱恩 我就是买♥♥了个真的床
Like, I got rid of the baby bed.
我可以扔掉那个宝宝床了
Hey, all right! I'm proud of you!
嘿 不错啊 我为你骄傲啊
Finally stretching out like a real man.
终于像个真汉子一样挺直腰板了啊
You go king? Cali King?
你买♥♥了个双人床吗 大号♥的
No, it's like a... a daybed, pull-out bed kind of thing.
不 更像是 午睡床 伸缩的那种
But, you know, I had to fit it in my living room.
但是 你知道 我得把它塞进我的起居室
So, no baby bed, but still baby steps. That's okay.
所以 不是宝宝床了 但还只是有了一丢丢进步 没问题的
Hey, I'm wondering if you can pick it up for me.
嘿 我在想你是不是能过来帮我拿一下
Julia's out of town this week and we've got some new clients
朱莉娅这周出差了 我们有些新客户这两天就要来
pitching to us in a couple of days.
给我们上门推销
Yeah, sure. I can do that.
当然啦 我可以去的
I'll even assemble it for you. What?
我还能帮你组装起来 啊?
I'm gonna call you back.
我回头再打给你
What?
真的假的
Get out of this line, now.
别排队了 跟我来
No way. I've been in it for 20 minutes.
做梦 我排了20分钟了
As long as no one challenges the plumbing,
只要没人在马桶里丢炸♥弹♥
I'll be a new woman in another five.
五分钟之后我就是下个进厕所的女生了
Just trust me, please?
就信我一回 成吗
This. Changes. Everything.
这 颠覆了 我的世界啊
'Cause it's all good
# 生活就是如此美好 #
It's all, all, it's all good
# 如此 如此 如此美好 #
Uh-huh, yup, it's all good
# 啊哈 就是这样 如此美好 #
Uh-huh, uh-huh, it's all good
# 啊哈 啊哈 如此美好 #
'Cause it's all good
# 生活就是如此美好 #
It's all, all, it's all good
# 如此 如此 如此美好 #
Uh-huh, yup, it's all good
# 啊哈 就是这样 如此美好 #
Oh, my God, this smells amazing.
我的天啦 闻起来也太美了吧
Like wandering through an English garden
就像是夏天的一场雨后 漫步在
after a summer rain.
一座英伦花♥园♥里
"Threesome Slam."
“3P盛宴”
Yup. This definitely Julia's bathroom.
没错 绝对是朱莉娅的卫浴了
Who else knows about this?
还有谁知道这儿啊
No one.
没了
I only told you.
我就告诉过你
It can be our secret.
可以就是我们俩的小秘密
Thanks.
谢谢你
I may sound like I'm exaggerating,
我可能听起来很夸张
but this really is the single greatest gift
但是这真的是我一直以来收到过的
anyone has ever given me ever.
最好的一个礼物了
Wow, really?
哇哦 真的吗
Well, I mean, this is nothing.
嗯 我是说 这没什么的
Wait till you see what I got planned for Christmas.
你等着看我的圣诞计划吧
I mean, I have gotten jewelry,
我是说 别人送了我珠宝
plane tickets, a car... Yeah, I'm just gonna quit while I'm ahead
飞机票 一辆车 嗯 只有一个卫生间 我还是
with just the one bathroom.
乘我有优势的时候先走吧
But an empty bladder and the confidence
但是一个空下来的膀胱以及
to drink a Big Gulp... That, Kevin, that is a gift.
能猛喝一气的自信心 凯文 这才叫做礼物啊
Well, good. You know, I'm... I'm happy to have given it.
很好啊 你知道的 我很高兴能把这份礼物送给你
Let's enjoy it. Oh, my God.
我们尽情享受吧 我的天呐
This is warm. Lean against this with me right now.
好暖和啊 和我一块儿靠着这堵墙
Your butt will never be the same.
你以前的屁屁就一去不复返了
More wine? No thanks.
再来点酒 不了 谢谢
Okay, girl, it's almost 2:00 p.m. and that's only your second glass.
好吧 现在已经差不多下午2:00了 你才只喝了第二杯
What's wrong?
怎么了啊
I don't want to talk about it.
我不想聊
Bye, everyone!
大家再见
I'm just really annoyed at Dev.
我只是觉得德夫好烦啊
He spends so much time on his stupid doctor stuff
他花了很多时间折腾医生做的那些蠢事
and the rest of his time on his DJ playlist,
剩下的时间花在DJ的播放列表上
but he doesn't spend any time on me.
他都不在我身上花时间
Like, on top of me.
我是说 了解我
It's classic doctor DJ behavior.
这是典型的医生DJ的行为
I don't know how much more I can take.
我不知道我还能忍♥多少这种事儿
I know I'm usually not very vocal about this,
我知道我一般不太说这些
but I have needs.
但是我也有需求的啊
Girl, I hear you.
姑娘 我懂你
You know, I once dated a shaman who put
你知道我有次和一个巫师约会
his career before me.
他把事业看得比我重要
He thought it was his mission to heal the world.
他觉得拯救世界是他的任务
Ugh. So selfish. Yeah.
恶 太自私了 就是啊
So, I threatened to break up with him.
所以我就用分手威胁他
Suddenly, he's all about me 24/7.
突然他就无时无刻不粘着我了啊
We did so much Ayahuasca, he thought he was a blowfish
我们喝了好多死藤水 他以为自己是个河豚
and almost drowned in the bathtub.
差点在浴缸里淹死了
It was really spiritual.
精神上的交织太棒了
So, you think I should threaten to break up with Dev?
所以你觉得我应该威胁德夫要分手吗
Oh, up to you.
哦 你自己看咯
I'm just saying, you know, men only respond
我只是说 你知道 男人只会对一件事
to one thing... Emotional manipulation.
有所回应 情绪操控
Pour me some of that great idea juice, girl.
给我倒点那个好主意果汁 姑娘
There's my girl.
这才是我的好姬友嘛
Keep goin'.
继续
Mmm.
嗯
Whoo!
呼
Awww.
啊哦
Wow.
哇哦
I'm so happy you're doing this for Kevin.
你能为凯文♥做♥这些我真是太开心了
God, I'm so sick of hearing him whine about his bed.
天呐 我听他抱怨他的床都要听吐了
It's just like when we were kids.
好像我们还是小孩子一样
You know, in fifth grade, he dislocated his pinky
你知道 五年级的时候 他和爸爸玩接球
playing catch with my dad... Whined about it for months.
把小指弄脱臼了 发了好几个月的牢骚
Damn! Your dad must have an arm on him.
妈的 你♥爸♥一定是用力砸到他了
Oh, no. The ball was on the ground.
不不 球在地上
Kevin's pinky bent backwards when he picked it up.
凯文在捡球的时候小指往后折了一下
Stop it right now.
快别说了
That's... that's the funniest thing I've ever heard.
这个 这可是我听过的最好笑的事儿了
Oh, it gets better. For, like, a year after,
噢 还有更好玩的 大概 一年之后
whenever anyone would ask him to play catch,
不管谁喊他玩接球
he would lie and say he had a heart murmur to get out of it.
他都会撒谎说他心脏有心杂音 不玩这个游戏
Well, now look who it is. Hello?
嗯哼 看看这是谁啊 喂?
Brian.
布莱恩
Kevin, is that you?
凯文 是你吗
I can't hear you over your fake heart murmur.
你装出来的心杂音太响了我听不见你说话
Did Roxie tell you that? It's not fake.
罗克西这么跟你说的吗 那不是装的
It's self-diagnosed, okay? There's a difference.
那是自诊 好吗 不一样的
Anyway, I just... Something kind of amazing
随便啦 我只是 今天上班的时候
happened at work today with Audrey.
我和奥德丽之间发生了些很妙的事儿
Oh, yeah? You guys kiss?
是吗 你们接吻了吗
Nope.
不
I found a hidden bathroom.
我找到了一个秘密洗手间
Where you guys kissed?
你们俩在那里接吻了吗
No. I just told Audrey about it
不 我只是告诉奥德丽了
and now the two of us know about it.
然后现在只有我们俩知道这个洗手间
It's actually kind of romantic.
这让我觉得有点小浪漫呢
Ah.
啊
We really bonded over it.
这是我们俩人之间的一个纽带
It's like we have a thing now.
感觉就像 我们俩有点意思了
Hey, what are you doing?
嘿 你怎么啦你
Hey, what are you doing?
嘿 你这是干嘛呢啊
Stop! That's not right!
快下来 别坐那上面
My life is over!
我的生活无望了啊