投行风云（2020）

所以 我写了这篇关于约会话题的文章
So, I've pitched this piece on dating discourse.
你知道 比如 性经历人数
You know, like, body count.
"她本来只有四分 但灌下五杯后可能升到六分"
"She's a four, but maybe six after five pints."
年龄 收入阶层 一切都数字化了
Age, income bracket. All of it's numerical.
那辆车在外面怠速两天了
That car's been idling outside for two days.
你知道那个女孩吗
You know that girl
为了内容在24小时内跟一千个男人上♥床♥
who fucks 1,000 guys in 24 hours for content?
我的意思是 她不是在和人上♥床♥ 她是在和一个数字上♥床♥
I mean, she wasn't fucking a person. She was fucking a number.
我是说 她的精神被主宰了
I mean, her spirit was dominated,
简直像是被市场逻辑轮♥奸♥了
well gang-raped, almost, by market logic, essentially.
是啊 个体被简化为抽象概念 克尔凯郭尔
Yeah, individuals reduced to abstraction. Kierkegaard.
但是 为什么你非得把现代事物
Yeah, but why is it you have to take something modern,
搞得那么贱呢
and then you make it for cunts? It's...
有人他妈撬了窗户
Someone's fucking jimmied the window.
该死 操
Shit! Fuck!
我钥匙不见了 你到底为什么要租奔驰
My fucking keys have gone. Why do you lease a Mercedes anyway?
钱从哪来的 你又欠债了
Where's that money coming from? Do you owe again?
听着 帮我个忙好吗 这周你来照顾马蒂行吗
Look, do me a favor, yeah? Could you just take Matty for the week, all right?
等我处理好这些破事 我们需要制定
While I sort this shit out. Okay, we need to formulate
某种监护协议 你不能一直这样
some sort of custody agreement so you cannot keep doing this.
还有 你看起来糟透了
Also, you look like shit.
好吧 都怪利他林 我的皮肤
All right. It's the fucking Ritalin, it's my skin
那其他问题又有什么借口
Well, what is the excuse for the rest of it then?
因为你总说"我忙得不可开交"
Because you keep saying, "Oh, I'm working flat out,"
我却听说你在外纵酒狂欢
and then I hear stories of you out on benders
还搭讪陌生女人
and sharking random women.
等等 你♥他♥妈♥在谈恋爱啊
Well, hang on, you're in a fucking relationship!
明白吗 你没权力管我的性生活
All right? You don't have jurisdiction over my sex life.
我们只上过一次床
We literally fucked once.
你难道不知道根本没人在乎你的存在吗
You do realize that absolutely no one knows that you exist, right?
滚开
Fuck off.
爱德华 你好啊
Edward, hiya.
抱歉 几点了 谁在乎呢
Sorry, what time is it? Who cares?
好消息 腾德的律师联♥系♥我们了
Good news. We've heard from Tender's counsel.
我觉得他们反应过度了
I think they've come in way too hot.
他们对那篇"腾德被调查"文章的回应
Their response to the "Tender, investigated" piece,
说实话 含蓄得像斯莱德的歌♥
it's as subtle as a Slade song in truth.
禁令 威胁 诽谤 简直一塌糊涂
Injunction, threat, defamation. I mean, it's a real dog's dinner.
我稍作调查 发现那里的高层
And I did a little digging, and it seems upper management there
是诺顿传媒集团的代理人 所以我很乐意派你去阿克拉
are a proxy for the Norton Media Group, so I'm happy to send you to Accra.
听着 谢谢你 埃德 你不会后悔的
Look, thank you, Ed. You won't regret it.
听着 他们怒火的主要焦点是你和这些做空者
Listen, the main thrust of all their ire is collusion and market manipulation
之间的共谋和市场操纵 这完全是瞎猜 对吧
between you and these short sellers. I mean, that's a shot in the dark, right?
告诉我你没和这些该死的做空者勾结
Tell me you aren't inveigled with these fucking short sellers.
我没有 我和他们说过话
Yeah, I'm not I've spoken to them,
但只是间接地 哦"间接地"
but, you know, tangentially. Oh, "tangentially."
像"迂回地"吗 随便吧
Like, "elliptically"? Whatever the fuck.
和那些联♥系♥人划清界限 好吗
Just clean the slate with those contacts, okay?
好吧 听着 我在写后续报道
Yeah. Look, man, I'm working on a follow-up.
更有实质内容 桑德兰的重大发现 行吗
Far more meat on the bone. Major discovery in Sunderland, all right?
我不喜欢被恶霸吵醒
Well, I don't like being woken by bullies.
而且为了公众利益 我们必须强硬回应
And it's in the public interest for us to respond aggressively,
尤其如果腾德计划用这个新银行应用
especially if Tender have designs on the UK consumer
进军英国消费者市场
with this new banking app.
我会让法律部拟一份严厉简短的驳斥
I'll get legal to word a stern and curt rebuke.
据我所知 这么早就反应激烈的人
If I know anything about people who go this nuclear this early,
你可以用你最后一块钱打赌 这些混♥蛋♥不堪一击
you can bet your loneliest penny the cunts have a glass fucking jaw.
好的 再见
Yeah. Okay, bye.
嘿 干嘛 你为什么监视我家
Hey, what? Why are you watching my house?
什么 兄弟 我在等我女朋友
What? Brother, I'm waiting for my girl.
滚出我的街区 好吗
Get the fuck off my street, yeah?
兄弟全副武装跑来 装得像个硬汉 是吧
Brother came here all tooled up looking like some hard wanker, yeah?
离我车远点 兄弟
Get the fuck away from my car, bro.
操 没种的混♥蛋♥
Fuck! Pussyhole faggot.
我们只是分享了非私人信息
All we've done is share non-private information.
你的文章无关紧要 只让我们的做空赚了20分钟
Your article was a non-event. It helped our short for all of 20 minutes.
证明有关联可能就够了
Well, proving a connection might be enough.
我现在开始用物理隔离的电脑工作
Now, I've started working on an air-gapped computer
这样不会被黑客入侵 但你打我的工作电♥话♥
so it can't be hacked. But you're calling me on my work phone?
你什么时候发后续报道
When are you publishing the follow-up?
不能说 是不能还是不想
I can't say. You can't or won't?
兄弟 我们给了你桑德兰的料 你写出来并传播
Bro, we gave you the Sunderland piece. You write it up and disseminate it.
说好的 不 从没同意过
That was agreed. No, it was never agreed.
哦 滚开 这他妈是暗示 得了吧 你一点都不公平
Oh, fuck off. It was fucking implied. Come on. You're not being fair at all.
我觉得你根本没理解我的职业道德
Yeah, I think you fundamentally misunderstood my ethics here.
重要的是从现在起 我们否认任何联♥系♥
It is important from here on out, we deny any kind of communication.
这合乎道德吗 不 这是明智的
And that's ethical, is it? No, it's sensible.
感谢你的时间
I appreciate your time.
如果他不尽快再发文 我们下一个负面催化剂是什么
If he doesn't publish again soon, what's our next negative catalyst?
市场把这次应用发布看作利好
Market's pricing this app launch as a positive one.
股价再涨 我们就要被追加保证金了
Stock climbs any higher, we'll face a margin call.
我们把桑德兰的料给另一个记者
We feed the Sunderland piece to another reporter.
要多久才能理解
How long a lag time to get it understood,
通过高层 刊登出来 我们为什么不自己发布
past seniors, printed? Why don't we self-publish?
我们可以让斯威特皮写出来
We'll just get Sweetpea to write it up,
像兴登堡 玻璃屋那种风格
like Hindenburg, GlassHouse, that sort of beat.
利益冲突太明显了
It's too clear a conflict of interest.
好吧 显然 我们会做适当披露
Okay. Well, obviously, we would use the appropriate disclosures.
说错一个字 我们就可能被民事起诉
One wrong word, we open ourselves up to a civil suit.
而且 我们名声不够响
Plus, our name has no cachet.
谁他妈在乎"斯特恩陶的观点"
Who gives a solitary fuck about "SternTao's view"?
就算腾德是纸牌屋也没用
It doesn't matter if Tender is a house of cards
如果我们没气去吹
if we don't have any breath to blow.
你以为我现在还不明白吗 操
Don't you think I fucking grasp that by now? Fuck!
我想看到抵押贷款文章在登陆页更显眼
I wanna see the mortgage piece more prominent on the landing page.
把该死的加密货币部分删掉
And wipe the fucking crypto component off it.
这个意见我已经说了三遍了
I've given that note three fucking times.
是的 罗宾 这是用户优于利润的决定
And yes, Robin, that is a user-over-profit decision
因为用户界面是信息传达的一部分
because the UI is part of the messaging
而信息传达就是一切
and the messaging is everything.
是的 语气对我们的政♥府♥支持者也很重要
Yeah, the tone matters to our backers in government too.
为什么"皮尔庞特由腾德驱动"这句话
And why is the phrase "Pierpoint powered by Tender"
在用户界面上这么显眼
so prominent on the UI?
惠特尼批准的 这是他的创意
Whitney cleared that. This is his brainchild.
有一段时间了
Has been for some time.
好吧 我投入这么多开♥发♥这个应用
Okay, I didn't stake myself on the build of this app
不是为了方便皮尔庞特给已经向上流动的人
to facilitate Pierpoint giving the already upwardly mobile
一个点击选项来被动复利他们的财富
a fucking clickable option to passively compound their wealth!
明白吗
Okay?
班纳曼 请给我们汇报一下进展
Bannerman. You wanna give us a state of play, please?
好的 先生 管理资产两亿五千万
Yes, sir. Two hundred and fifty million assets under management.
埃里克占基金5% 十美元 皮埃尔 锚定投资者 一百美元
Eric's 5 percent of fund, ten bucks. Pierre, the anchor, 100 bucks.
加上其他投资方 共一亿四千万
Further 140 million when we combine all other invested parties.
肯尼作为我们的主要经纪人
With Kenny as our primary broker,
我们通过德意志银行又借了两亿五千万
we borrowed a further 250 million via Deutsche.
那是我们的保证金 总杠杆率100%
That's our margin. 100 percent gross leverage?
是的 两亿五千万股本 两亿五千万保证金
Yes, 250 million equity, 250 million margin.
我们对合作可能产生的协同效应
We remain excited by the potential synergies
仍感到兴奋
of the partnership showcasing
展示阿尔米拉吉皮尔庞特的财富管理服务
AlMi'rajPierpoint's wealth management offering
在腾德应用内 你知道 我一直认为
within the Tender app. You know, I've long thought
文案应该是"腾德由皮尔庞特驱动"
that the copy should be "Tender powered by Pierpoint,"
而不是"皮尔庞特由腾德驱动" 我们的律师为此反复争论
not "Pierpoint powered by Tender." Our lawyers went back and forth on it
在修改时 争论结构问题
while red-lining, arguing points of construction.
我们有投资经理 我们有客户群
We have the investment managers. We have the customer base.
这是为你准备好的 以换取一个平台
That's baked in for you in exchange for a platform
以及接触更多零售客户的途径
and a route to more retail customers.
无论用什么标准 在任何投资者眼里 腾德都是更有价值的资产
By any metric, to any investor's eyes, Tender is the more valuable asset here.
市值在朝相反方向变动
The market caps are moving in opposite directions,
我们视这不过是给恐龙提供一个数字未来
and we see this simply as offering a dinosaur a digital future.