老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）

How I Met Your Mother S03E20

Part 4 Oct. 30, 2020, 3:44 p.m.

I had to look away because if I watched
我必须得把目光移开因为如果我
what the paramedics were about to do,
看了医护人员要做什么
I would have passed out.
我会晕过去的
Then they took out this electric blade thing and I kept thinking,
之后他们拿出了把类似电刀的东西我就一直默念
"This isn't happening. This isn't happening. "
"这不是真的这不是真的"
Oh, my God. What did they cut?
哦天啊他们到底切了什么
My suit.
我的西装
My beautiful suit.
我儒雅干练的西装
But you're alive, and, and Ted's alive.
但你还活着泰德也安好
This is amazing!
真的太棒了
Two miracles in one day.
一天之内发生两个奇迹
What is the matter with you?
你到底有什么毛病
How can you possibly be this cynical?!
你怎么能这么愤世嫉俗呢
You want to know? Yeah.
你想知道吗是啊
You really want to know? Yeah!
你真的想知道吗当然
Fine.
好吧
When I was a kid, I had this dog, Sir Scratchawan.
我小的时候我养了只狗叫挠痒痒先生
Anyway, Sir Scratchawan got really old,
后来挠痒痒先生年纪大了
so my parents decided to put him down.
我父母决定让它安乐死
It was the toughest day of my young life.
那是我年幼的人生最难熬的一天
Good-bye, Sir Scratchawan.
再见了挠痒痒先生
I love you.
我爱你
And when they took him to the vet,
他们带它去了兽医那儿
he told them that earlier that very day,
兽医说就在那天的不久之前
he had learned about an experimental procedure
他学会了一种实验性手术
called a canine/testudine cerebro-xenograft.
叫做犬龟大脑移植术
Ever heard of it?
听说过吗
No.
没有
Well, it saved Sir Scratchawan's life.
反正它救了挠痒痒先生的命
He lived another seven years.
他又活了七年
Miracle. Except for one...
奇迹啊只是术后有一个
kind of big side effect from the surgery.
挺严重的副作用
Sir Scratchawan!
挠痒痒先生
Welcome home!
欢迎回家
He turned into a turtle.
它变成了一只乌龟
I know. It's weird, right?
我知道很奇怪对吧
Apparently, a very common complication from canine/testudine cerebro-xenografts.
很显然这是犬龟大脑移植术的普遍并发症
And he didn't seem to remember any of his old tricks.
而且它把以前的把戏都忘了
Go get it, Scratchy.
去捡过来痒痒
Go get it!
快去捡
Go get it! Get it!
去捡快去
Go get it, Scratchy.
快去把它捡起来痒痒
Go get it.
去捡起来
How long was it before...?
花了你多长时间才意识到...
Longer than I'm proud of, Lily.
久得我都不好意思说莉莉
Longer than I'm proud of.
久得我都没脸说
And that's when I realized miracles ain't real.
所以从此我就坚信奇迹都是假的
Excuse me.
失陪一下
Mosby, you're still here?
莫斯比你还在这儿啊
Your tests came back, like, an hour ago. You're fine.
你的检测报告都出来一小时了你身体很好
Are you kidding me? Why didn't you tell me?!
开什么玩笑你怎么不早说
I'm sorry.
真是抱歉了哈
I guess it was rude of me to keep resuscitating that guy
我先忙着给一个被火钩贯穿胸腔的人
with a rake sticking out of his chest.
做心肺复苏真是太没有礼貌了
Um, I have to go right now. Barney, I...
呃我现在得走了巴尼我...
Go.
去吧
Run, Ted. Run.
跑吧泰德跑起来
If there's anything I've taught you over the years, it's...
如果这几年我教会了你什么那就是...
Barney, he left. Oh.
巴尼他已经走了这样啊
Hey, Ted said that right before the accident,
嘿泰德说在发生事故的那一刻
his life flashed before his eyes.
他的眼前闪过整个人生
You know, all the stuff he loves.
你知道他所爱的一切
Did that happen to you? Oh, yeah.
你也有这情形吗肯定的啊
I know what he saw: boobs. Scotch.
我知道他看见什么咪♥咪♥ 苏格兰威士忌
And money.
还有钱
Suits. A suit of money.
西装用钱做成的西装
A suit of boobs.
用咪♥咪♥做成的西装
A giant boob wearing a suit of money.
一个大♥波♥妹穿着钱做成的西装
And the boob is lactating scotch.
而且咪♥咪♥还在分泌苏格兰威士忌
I guess that's pretty much everything you love, right?
你爱的差不多就是这些东西了吧
Yeah, pretty much.
是啊差不多了
Kids, a lot of weird, random things have happened in my life,
孩子们我的一生发生过很多离奇偶然的事情
but that car accident is one of the few I'd call a miracle,
但那场交通事故是我很少称作奇迹的事件之一
not because of what happened,
不是因为事故本身
but because of what happened next.
而是因为事故之后发生的事
Hi. Hi.
嗨嗯
Can I talk to you?
能跟你谈谈吗
Okay.
好
I got you this orange kangaroo.
我抓了只橙色袋鼠给你
Uh... thanks.
呃谢谢
So I've been thinking about what changed
我一直在思索
from the moment I broke up with you
从我跟你分手的那一刻起
to the moment I knew I wanted you back.
到我下决心想挽回你的那一刻是什么变了
And, um, I think I finally figured out what happened.
呃我想我总算弄清楚到底发生了什么
Your cab got T-boned by a jackass on a cell phone?
你的出租车被个打电♥话♥的混♥蛋♥司机撞成了T字型
No. I changed.
不是我变了
I'm ready to give you what you need.
我已经准备好给你想要的东西
That's why I spent ten minutes on the damn claw machine
这就是为什么我在那个该死的抓娃娃机上花了十分钟
trying to get the big, fake diamond ring.
想要抓到那个大的假钻石戒指
But all I could get was this orange kangaroo.
但我只抓到了这个橙色袋鼠
Diamond ring?
钻石戒指
Will you marry me?
你愿意嫁给我吗