老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S03E01
Part 2
Oct. 30, 2020, 3:41 p.m.
Now, I'm sure she meant the best,
当然 我很确定她的本意是好的
but she said the worst.
但当她说出来却是最伤人的
I just want to make sure you're okay with this.
我只是想确定你不介意这事
"I just want to make sure you're okay with this"?
"我只是想确定你不介意这事"
Damn it! I can't believe
该死的 我真不能相信
she's the one that gets to say that.
她会说出那样的话
She's winning, isn't she?
她赢了 是不是
Not for long. Okay, pep talk.
不会太长的 好了 给你打打气
Take a knee.
休息一下
Ted, tonight we're going
泰德 今晚我们要
to get you someone way hotter than Robin.
找到一个比罗宾还辣的女孩
Okay, Robin's a ten.
好吧 罗宾算十分
Fine, we'll get you a 12.
那我就给你找个十二分的
Or, you know... two sixes.
或者 你懂的 两个六分的
Failing that, four threes.
那样也不行的话 四个三分的
And break glass in case of emergency,
如果遇到紧急情况
we'll go to Staten Island, I'll get you 12 ones.
我们就去斯塔顿岛 我给你找十二个一分的
Ted, my boy, I am going to re-teach you how...
泰德 我的孩子 我将重新教导你如何
Amy. Ted.
艾米 泰德
Barney.
巴尼
Ted, we are back!
泰德 我们回归啦
Up here.
来一个
Up high.
高一点
Fivin' it up five-style!
来击个掌
I'm sorry this is all so weird.
对不起 这真的是太诡异了
Weird, why would it be weird?
诡异 为什么会诡异呢
Because you used to date our best friend
因为你曾经和我们最好的朋友约会
or because my wife thinks
还是因为我妻子认为
your new boyfriend is incredibly hot?
你的新男友帅到掉渣
I do not! Shut up! Oh, my God!
我才没有 闭嘴 噢天哪
I just hope Ted's okay.
我只是希望泰德没事
I hate to see you so tense.
我不喜欢看到你紧张的样子
I mean, we had a really clean break up, you know?
我是说 我们是和平分手的 对吧
We really acted like adults, so the last thing... oh!
我们都像个成年人一样 所以最后 噢
Oh, god.
噢 天哪
Gael, are you a properly licensed massage therapist?
盖尔 你是有合法执照的按♥摩♥师吗
What?
什么
Are you legally certified
你是被正规机构
by some type of governing entity?
认证的按♥摩♥师吗
I train for three years at an institute in Buenos Aires.
我在布宜诺斯艾利斯的一个学院里学了三年
I have a card. I can show you.
我有证书的 我可以给你看
Is the card laminated?
证书过塑了吗
What do you mean "Laminated"?
什么叫"过塑"
Covered in protective plastic.
就是用薄片覆盖着
Oh, yes. Damn it.
哦 是的 该死
He checks out.
他是有资格的
Ted. Ted.
泰德 泰德
Ted. Ted. What!?
泰德 泰德 干嘛
Let's bail, this place is dead.
我们走吧 这地方死气沉沉
Yeah, you're right. We're both totally striking out.
你说的对 我们俩都失去兴趣了呢
Exactly, plus, we're on a tight schedule.
就是 而且 我们的日程很紧
I've got this entire evening
我已经把整个晚上
perfectly planned out... spoiler alert:
完美地安排好了...提醒你
our last stop is an after hours
我们的最后一站就是工作完成之后的夜店
club so after hours,
工作完成之后就是指
it's three days from now.
三天之后
What up.
怎么样
Are you blind? I'm making out with a 12.
你瞎了吗 我正在和一个十二分的亲热呢
I am winning. Yeah, but I didn't get to help.
我要赢了 是的 但不是我帮的你
So you're saying you want me
所以你在说你想让我
to throw away a super hot girl
甩掉这个超级辣的女孩
just because you didn't help me get her?
仅仅是因为你没帮我钓到她
Apology accepted. Let's go.
接受你的道歉 我们走
Who's the suit? This is Barney.
这西服男是谁 这是巴尼
Barney, Amy. I'm not gonna remember that.
巴尼 艾米 我不打算记住这名字
Now, if you'll excuse me,
现在 请允许我打扰一下
random chick from earlier tonight,
这位今晚一开始偶遇的女孩
as you shall henceforth be known,
我们以后就这么称呼你吧
Ted and I have a schedule to keep.
泰德和我有急事要走
Well, you can check off 8:54,
你可以看看在八点五十四分方向的
dress up like a dork and bother the cool kids.
穿的像个呆子 缠着酷孩子们的那个人
Beat it, nerd.
滚开 你个呆子
Wow. Wow. Great stuff, Tommy Lee.
诶哟 诶哟 不错嘛 汤米•李
See, what you don't understand is I'm Ted's wingman.
看来你不知道我是泰德的泡妞搭档
It's a sacred bond, much stronger than any...
这是个神圣纽带 强过任何其他的...
They're making out again.
怎么又搞上了
Massage therapist.
按♥摩♥师
And you know what, "Gayle"?
你知道吗 基尔
Your piece of chicken looks a little tense to me.
我觉得你这块鸡肉有点"紧张"啊
Oh, oh, does that feel good, Mr. Chicken?
噢 哦 感觉怎么样 鸡肉先生
Well, guess what?
哎哟 你猜怎么着
I didn't wash my hands.
我没洗手
Got him.
去搞死他
Lily!
莉莉
We carry so much ancient emotion
我们的肩膀和脖子
in our neck and shoulders.
承受了太多的旧日情绪
Things we should have let go of years ago.
这些早在多年前就该放下
I forgive you, Mom.
妈 我原谅你了
Lily, we are Ted's best friends.
莉莉 我们作为泰德最好的朋友
Our job is to hate that guy.
应该履行憎恶这个家伙的职责
Oh, yeah, that's what I was doing.
啊 对啊 我就是这么做的
I was just building him up
我先把他捧上天
so a few minutes later, I could totally cut him down.
然后过几分钟 我就可以让他从云端直落谷底
Weren't you wearing a bra?
你之前不还穿着胸衣吗
The night was going great.
那晚一切出奇的顺利
Amy was cool and dangerous.
艾米狂野而不羁
She found a friend for Barney.
她还给巴尼找了个马子
She even paid for drinks... sort of.
她甚至还付了酒钱...某种意义上
They know us here.
他们认识我们
You're gonna get us in trouble.
你会让我们摊上大事的
Tell me something.
告诉我
Do you ask your tailor to leave extra room
你有没有让裁缝在你的裤裆上
in the crotch for your huge vagina?
为你的大阴♥道♥留洞
You... your vagina...
你...你才阴♥道♥...
Ted, this chick is crazy. We're leaving.
泰德 这妞太疯狂了 我们走吧
Good idea. Let's all go back to my place.
好主意 去我家吧
Your place? Thanks but no thanks, 1994 Courtney Love.
你家 谢谢你全家 1994年的科特妮•洛夫
I have a hot tub.
我有个热水浴缸哦
Okay, this is actually pretty nice.
好吧 我承认确实不赖
I like your tatts.
你的纹胸不错哦
Thanks, you can play with them if you want.
谢谢 你可以感觉一下它们
They're a hundred percent real.
它们可是货真价实的哦
No, your tatts... toos, your tattoos.
不是 你的纹...身 纹身
Thanks.
谢了
You should get one. Wrong!
你也应该纹一个 错
Ted has a classic clean cut look
泰德是个干净利落的
that never goes out of style season after season, burn.
万年吃香的经典款 不懂了吧
Yeah? Well, I think he would look hot with some ink.
是吗 我倒觉得有纹身更性感
No, he wouldn't. Yes, he would.
不 他才不会呢 不 他会的
No, he wouldn't.
不 他不会
I'm ready to do anything you want by the way. Anything.
我已经对你城门大开了 大开哦
Right now.
现在就要
Ted, who are you gonna side with on this tattoo thing?
泰德 在纹身这件事上你站在哪边
I think I'd look way hot with some ink.
我也觉得纹身会给我大大加分的
Yeah, you would. Yeah.
是的 没错 嗯
Oh, my God! Tyler?
我的天哪 泰勒
Mommy! Daddy! She's back!
妈咪 爹地 她回来了
Damn it, they're supposed to be in the Hamptons.
靠 他们不是在汉普顿斯吗
Run!
快跑
Sorry. I used to nanny for those jerks
对不起 我曾经给这帮混♥蛋♥当保姆
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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