老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S03E05
Part 4
Oct. 30, 2020, 3:41 p.m.
Look at her.
看看她
How much hotter is she than your girlfriend?
她比你女朋友性感多了吧
There's no comparison.
完全没有可比性
What do you think, Ted?
你觉得呢 泰德
No. Should I go for it?
天啊 我该去搭讪吗
Don't do it, man.
别这么做 兄弟
I mean, think about Lily.
我是说 想想莉莉吧
You know what? I don't care.
你知道吗 我不在乎
I've been with one woman for too long.
我跟同一个女人在一起太久了
I need meet some strange.
得来些艳遇了
Yes! Yes!
好极了
Pep talk.
给你打打气
You can do this,
你能做到的
but to be more accurate, you probably can't.
更准确来说 你八成做不到
You're way out of practice and she is way too hot for you,
你太久没练习 她对你来说太性感了
so remember, tonight isn't about scoring.
所以记着 今晚不是为了让你上垒
It's about believing that you can do it
是为了重塑你的自信
even though you probably can't.
即使你八成不行
Go get 'em, tiger.
去吧 猛♥男♥
Poor guy's going to crash and burn.
可怜的家伙要被嘲弄一番了
That man is a god.
那爷们是神
For like a week after,
这之后有一周的时间
Barney followed me around asking me to teach him how to live.
巴尼一直跟着我 让我教他如何享受生活
I even got him to do my laundry once.
我甚至还让他帮我洗了衣服
I thought it was a Mr. Miyagi kind of thing.
我还以为是宫城先生历练的那类事
Marshall, I need to talk to you.
马修 我有话跟你说
Can we go somewhere in private?
我们能找个地方单独谈谈吗
Yeah, of course. What's wrong?
当然 怎么了
Lily and Ted made out.
莉莉和泰德亲热过
What do you think of that, Robin?
你有什么感想啊 罗宾
What are you talking about?
你到底在说什么
You know that guy I made out with
你记得我大学新生欢迎派对上
at the freshman orientation party?
亲热过的那个人吗
Too Much Tongue Guy, yeah.
乱用舌头男吗 记得
And you know that girl I made out with
那你记得我新生欢迎派对上
at the freshman orientation party?
亲热过的那个人吗
Unreasonably Small Mouth Opening Girl, yeah.
死活不张嘴女吗 记得
I'm Too Much Tongue Guy.
我就是乱用舌头男
And I'm Unreasonably Small Mouth Opening Girl.
而我就是死活不张嘴女
Worst superheroes ever.
史上最烂的超级英雄名字
Oh, baby, I am so sorry.
噢 亲爱的 我真抱歉
I don't think you need to be.
你不用感到抱歉
I was at that party.
我也在那个派对上
It was dark and, granted,
虽然那里很黑
I had eaten quite a few sandwiches, but I'm 100% sure
我还吃了些三明治 但我百分百确信
that Unreasonably Small Mouth Opening Girl
那个死活不张嘴女
was Alexa Leskeys, not Lily.
是艾利莎•莱丝基 不是莉莉
Really?
真的吗
Yeah, I'm positive,
对 我确定
and Too Much Tongue Guy was Colin O'Reilly.
乱用舌头男是科林•奥雷利
Are you sure?
你确定吗
If it wasn't,
如果不是
I peed in the wrong guy's shampoo, man.
那我就尿在错的洗发水里了 伙计
You don't really believe that, do you?
你不是真的相信吧
You swore it was Lily.
你信誓旦旦地说是莉莉
I guess I made a mistake.
我想我记错了
Must have been Alexa
一定是艾利莎
Another girl, Ted?
又一个女的 泰德
Who haven't you made out with?
还有你没亲热过的人吗
You know what? I don't need this.
你知道吗 我才不需要这个
I design handbags, I'm writing a memoir,
我设计包包 还在写回忆录
I'm a superstar, this is totally my year.
我是个超级明星 这完全是属于我的一年
Someday the name Blahblah will be up in lights.
总有一天 一个叫某某的女孩会受万人瞩目
And, Ted, next time you're online playing World of Warcraft,
还有 泰德 下次你上线玩魔兽世界
don't even think about chatting with me.
别想再来找我聊天了
World of Warcraft?
魔兽世界
The online role-playing game?
网络角色扮演游戏
That's how you two "Met online"?
你们就这样在网上相遇啊
Yeah, it's a really--it's a cool game.
对 那游戏真的很酷
So suffice it to say,
简单地说
Blahblah did not turn out to be your mother,
某某没有成为你们的妈妈
and as for the girl I made out with at the party,
而我在派对上亲热过的那个女生
there wasn't a doubt in my mind that was your Aunt Lily.
在我印象中毫无疑问是你们莉莉阿姨
But, you know, that magical story
但是 你知道 那个神奇的故事
of how she and Uncle Marshall met,
关于她和马修叔叔如何相遇的
it was worth preserving, so I kept my mouth shut.
更具珍藏意义 所以我缄口不言
I guess I made a mistake.
我想我记错了
Must have been Alexa.
一定是艾利莎
Until our 20th college reunion
直到我们毕业二十年后同学聚会
when I ran into Alexa Leskeys.
我碰到了艾利莎•莱丝基
So, Ted, remember the last time we were here?
泰德 记得我们上次在这儿相遇的情景吗
You and me?
你和我吗
No idea.
不记得了
Ted... come on.
泰德 别装了
Freshman year, we were both pretty drunk?
入学那年 我们都喝得烂醉了
That was you?
那是你啊
Lily, we never made out.
莉莉 我们从没亲热过
I know.
我知道
So I am not Too Much Tongue Guy.
所以我不是乱用舌头男
Actually...
事实上
No.
不是吧
Look what I've confiscated from some kids.
看我从几个孩子那儿没收到了什么
That is a fat sandwich.
好丰盛的三明治
I know, right?
我知道
Chew, chew, chew, chew, swallow.
嚼 嚼 嚼 嚼 吞下去
Oh, that's all right, honey.
没事 亲爱的
Sandwiches are strong these days.
现在的三明治劲头真大啊
I can't believe I used to be able to eat
真不敢相信我原来能
a whole sandwich by myself.
一个人吃掉一整个三明治
Now it's like two bites and I am done.
现在大概两口我就受不了了
Baby, can we grow sandwiches behind the garage?
亲爱的 我们能在车♥库♥后面种点三明治吗
Dude, we're 42.
伙计 我们都42了
W-W-Where's my wife?
我老婆哪儿去了呢
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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