老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S03E20
Part 1
Oct. 30, 2020, 3:44 p.m.
Kids this is the story of the cab ride that changed my life.
孩子们 这就是那个改变我人生的搭出租车的故事
I know it sounds crazy.
我知道这听起来很疯狂
Before all I know my life
但我知道我的人生
would be very different
可能会变得完全不同
if I've taken, say that cab, or that cab.
如果我上了那辆车 或者那辆车
God knows what will happen if I got into that cab.
天知道如果我上了那辆车 我的人生会变成什么样
I took this cab.
我上了这辆车
and it changed my whole life.
正是它改变了我的整个人生
But first we need to back up a little.
不过现在我们得先倒回去一点点
Hey, is there any beer in the fridge?
嘿 冰箱里有啤酒吗
It's 10 in the morning.
现在是早上十点
Grab me one.
帮我也拿一瓶
So, something bad just happened.
刚刚发生件不好的事
Stella and I were out having breakfast.
我当时和斯黛拉在外面吃早餐
So my sister broke up with her boyfriend.
我姐姐和她男朋友分手了
I can finally say it
我总算可以说实话了
I hated that guy.
我讨厌那家伙
Everything in his month is "I am a vegen" "Fish feel pain."
他满口都是什么"我是素食主义者""鱼会觉得疼的"
"I never constipate." That guy is an idiot.
"我从不便秘" 真是个大白♥痴♥
Actually she is marrying him.
事实上 她要嫁给他了
I just wanna know your honest opinion.
我只是想听听你的真实想法
He is actually a real nice guy. I think there is a wisdom to catch...
他其实人还不错啦 我觉得他说的话还是有些道理的...
Anyway, they picked a date, so, uh,
话说回来 他们定了结婚的日子
you want to come with me,
你愿意跟我一起去吗
so that we can laugh our asses off
我们就可以在他穿着麻质礼服
as we watch him walk barefoot down the aisle
光脚走向圣坛的时候
in a hemp tuxedo?
狠狠嘲笑他一番啦
Yeah, sure. When is it?
好啊 当然了 什么时候
Uh, first weekend in November.
十一月的第一个周末
Is that the something bad?
这有什么不好的吗
That she invited you to a wedding?
她就邀请你去参加一个婚礼
Six months from now.
可还有六个月啊
As in we'll be together six months from now.
也就是说 六个月之后我们还在一起
Do you guys remember
你们还记得
Barney's whole thing about making plans in a relationship?
巴尼那个关于恋爱中订计划的理论吗
Fourth row.
第四排
Ted, no.
泰德 不行
You're violating the date-time continuum.
你违反了约会时间连续性法则
You never make plans with a girl further in the future
绝不可以和一个女孩订下一个
than the amount of time you've been going out.
比你们约会时间还要久的计划
You've been dating this girl for, what, two weeks?
你才和这个女孩约会了多久啊 两星期
No you're not taking her to a Springsteen concert in January.
你绝对不能带她去一月份的斯普林斯汀演唱会
At that time you won't remember this Robin girl's name.
到那个时候 可能你连这个女孩叫罗宾都忘记了
Ugh, man, I love Springsteen!
呃 天呐 我爱斯普林斯汀
He's like the American Bryan Adams.
他就像美国的布莱恩•亚当斯
But Barney had a point.
但巴尼说的还是有些道理
As soon as she started talking about the wedding,
当她谈起这个婚礼的时候
it freaked me out.
把我给吓坏了
Oh, that sounds like so much fun.
噢 这听起来很有趣嘛
So I get to look forward to it for six months.
那我就要翘首六个月以待它的到来
Which is twice as long as we've been dating.
这相当于我们约会时间的两倍长呢
Uh-oh.
喔哦
I'm sure your daughter Lucy'll come
你女儿露西也会来的吧
so it'll be like a... A family trip.
所以就会像一个 家庭旅行
Our first trip as our funny little family.
我们可爱的小家庭的第一次出行
So that... that'll be super-exciting.
这真是 真是超级让人期待啊
Oh, boy.
噢 完蛋了
Man, they crank up the heat in these places.
天哪 这里是不是开暖气了
What's going on, Ted?
怎么了 泰德
We need to talk.
我们需要谈谈
Oh.
天啊
"We need to talk"?
"我们需要谈谈"
There's only two situations where you say that to someone
只有两个情况下你才会这样说
and unless you're pregnant,
除非你怀孕了
it sounds like you broke up with her.
否则听起来就像是你要和她分手
Yeah, I did.
是的 我就是和她分手了
So how did she take it?
她反应如何
I'm only trying to be honest with you.
我只是想对你诚恳一些
You know what, Ted. I have to go to work.
泰德 我要去上班了
Stella, can we just...
斯黛拉 我们不能就
I don't want to leave it like this.
我不想以这种方式结束
No, Ted, it's okay.
不 泰德 没关系
We're good.
够了不用说了
Ow!
噢
Look, I know it sounds rough,
我知道这听起来很过分
but Stella's a mom.
但斯黛拉是个母亲
I have to be responsible.
我必须要负责
If I'm having these feelings now,
如果我现在有这样的想法
what if they don't go away?
谁能保证以后没有呢
What if they just get worse and worse?
说不好这些想法只会愈演愈烈呢
and six months from now, I break up with her
难道我要六个月以后 在她姐姐的婚礼上
over tofu salmon at her sister's wedding?
一边吃着豆腐鲑鱼一边和她分手吗
I can't do that to her.
我不能这样对她
And I definitely can't do that to her daughter.
我也绝对不能这样对她的女儿
It sucks, but I'm being the good guy here.
这很糟糕 但我在试着做个好人
This is the right decision.
这是明智的决定
Which brings me back to the cab ride.
现在该说回坐出租车了
Hello, may I speak with Marshall Eriksen?
你好 是马修•艾瑞克森吗
Hey, guys.
嘿 你们来了呀
Jell-O?
吃果冻吗
I can't believe this you are totally fine.
真不敢相信你居然完好无损
No, I'm not fine.
不 我不好
I made the biggest mistake of my life.
我犯了一生中最大的错误
I want Stella back.
我想要斯黛拉回到我身边
I've left her like ten messages, but her phone's off.
我给她留了差不多十条留言 可是她关机了
She's at that arcade Kiddie Funland with her daughter.
她和她女儿在儿童游乐园
Please.
求求你了
Let me go to Kiddie Funland.
让我去儿童游乐园吧
You can say that all you want, buddy,
伙计 你说你想要什么都行
but you're not getting any morphine.
不过我是不会给你吗♥啡♥的
No, I'm serious. I got to get out of here.
不 我是认真的 我要离开这里
You're not going anywhere until we get the tests back.
在我们拿到化验报告之前 你哪也不能去
You could have internal bleeding.
你可能有内出血
Your brain could be all full of blood.
血液有可能会塞满你整个脑袋
Think that's good for it?
觉得那样很好吗
It ain't.
当然不好
This sucks.
这真糟糕
This sucks. This sucks. Are you...
这真糟糕 真糟糕 你在
are you kidding me?
你在跟我开玩笑吗
You walked away from a car accident without a scratch.
你出了车祸 一点伤都没受
A miracle took place today.
奇迹在今天发生了
Oh, here we go.
哦 又来了
You don't think this was a miracle?
你不认为有奇迹存在吗
There's no such thing as miracles.
根本就没有奇迹这回事
March 2006, MacLaren's Bar.
2006年3月 麦克拉伦酒吧
That's terrible. Gentle.
真糟糕 轻一点
That's in! Gentle.
中了 轻一点
Ow. Here we go.
来 看好了
Hey!
嘿
Bravo.
真棒
Cheers...
干杯
No... way.
不会吧
That did not just happen.
真不敢相信我的眼睛
Am I dead?
我死了吗
Miracle!
奇迹
A pencil went up Barney's nose,
一支铅笔弹进巴尼的鼻子
and you call it a miracle.
你就称为奇迹了
Well, do you have a better explanation for it?
那你有更好的解释吗
A drunk jackass with a box of pencils?
一个烂醉鬼在玩一盒铅笔 如何
A drunk jackass called "God!"
名为"上帝"的烂醉鬼
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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