老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S03E04
Part 3
Oct. 30, 2020, 3:41 p.m.
这比巴尼总共滚床单的次数还要多
and to your point, Ted, Lily is a quality girl.
而且用你的观点 泰德 莉莉是个高质量女孩
I win. Lawyered.
我赢了 以律师之名
Doesn't count.
这不算数
It totally counts. You're right. It does count.
这个绝对算数的 没错 可以算数
It counts as one. You've had sex once. How was it?
算一次 你只算有一次性经历 怎么样
I still matter.
我还是在乎的
Okay, Ted, go win the bet.
好了 泰德 去赢下这场赌吧
You have my blessing. She's a wonderful girl.
你得到了我的祝福 她是个很棒的女孩
I should know.
我知道的
Oh, okay. Okay, I see what you're doing.
哦 好吧 我知道你想干什么
We've never shared a woman, have we, Ted? Isn't that funny?
我们从来没有分享过女人 是吧 泰德 你不觉得很有趣吗
You're with her now. I was with her a year ago.
你现在和她在一起 我一年前和她在一起
You figure, for her, that's like 200 showers ago.
算一算 从她的角度来说 就是洗200次澡以前
You've got to ask yourself, Ted, "Is 200 enough?"
你该扪心自问一下 泰德 200次真的够了吗
You know what?
你知道吗
I don't mind.
我不在乎
No, of course you don't mind.
是啊 你当然不在乎了
Just like the second guy to climb Mount Everest didn't mind
就像第二个登顶珠穆朗玛峰的人根本不在乎
getting all the way to the top
一路辛苦爬到山顶
only to find Sir Edmund Hillary's flagpole
却发现埃德蒙•希拉里爵士的旗子早就
thrust into its supple peak.
插在那柔软的峰尖了
No, I'm sure when you're with her,
是啊 我确定你和她在一起的时候
I'll be the furthest thing from your mind.
脑海里最不可能浮现的就是我的身影
Kissing what I've already kissed,
你可以亲吻我曾经亲吻过的地方
nuzzling what I've already nuzzled,
依偎在我曾经依偎过的地方
going... on what I've already gone on.
卟噜噜我曾经卟噜噜过的地方
Barney, I'm not afraid of catching your cooties, 'kay?
巴尼 我才不怕传染上你的虱子呢 好吗
Really? Ted's not afraid of cooties?
真的吗 泰德居然不怕虱子
Okay, well, then I guess you'd have no problem
好吧 那我想你应该不介意
having a sip of my gin and tonic. Fine.
喝一口我的金汤力酒吧 好啊
And I only stirred that with my pinky.
这杯酒我只用我的小拇指搅拌过而已哦
Guess who loves Robin.
猜猜谁爱罗宾
Kids. Kids love Robin.
小孩子 小孩子爱罗宾
Doug thinks I'm pretty cool.
道格认为我很酷
Really, that's great! You and George, all thanks to me.
真的吗 太好了 你和乔治在一起 这可是我的功劳
Yeah, I'm going to have to break up with him.
是啊 我得和他分手
What? Well, it's just...
什么 好吧 只是...
it's getting a little bit too serious with the kid.
牵扯到孩子就变得有点太认真了
You know, it's just not what I'm looking for.
你知道的 这不是我想要的
So better I break it off now before he gets too attached.
所以最好趁他现在还没有太依赖我时就分手
What?
怎么了
I hate to tell you this, but...
我不想告诉你这些 但是...
too late.
太迟了
He drew it in class today.
他今天在课上画的
Oh, crap.
哦 糟了
There's no way that's a picture of me.
这画上的人不可能是我
That woman has on hoop earrings. I don't even own hoop earrings.
这个女人戴环形耳环 我根本就没有环形耳环
I have one pair and they're gold. Those are fruit loops.
我只有一对 而且是金的 这画的是水果圈
You are so in denial right now
你现在太急于否认了
and you're doing what you always do in relationships:
而且你每次谈恋爱的老♥毛♥病又犯了
the second you get close to a guy, you want to bail.
一旦你和一个人变得亲近 你就想逃
Okay, granted, he's six, but the point stands.
好吧 我承认 对方才六岁 但我的观点仍然成立
Well, we'll ask the guys.
好吧 我们去问问男人们
They'll tell you that's not me.
他们会告诉你这个不是我的
That's totally you.
这完全就是你啊
Wh... you guys are crazy.
什么 你们太能扯了
Hey, who drew the picture of Robin?
嘿 谁给罗宾画了一幅画
It's not me. You're joking, right?
这不是我 你在开玩笑吧
It's not me! "My new mommy. "
这真不是我 我的新妈妈
Kind of has a nice ring to it.
听起来不错哦
Hey, now that you're a mom, are you going to start wearing
嘿 既然你现在是个妈妈了 你是不是要开始穿
those totally awesome jeans that go right up to your boobs?
裤腰提到胸部的那种超棒的牛仔裤了
Do you guys really think this is me?
你们真的觉得这是我吗
Honey, it's you.
亲爱的 这就是你
And if you're going to break up with George,
你如果要和乔治分手
you have to break up with his kid, too.
也得和他的孩子分手才行
Really? Yeah, you can't just abandon him.
真的吗 是啊 你不能就这样抛弃他
You have to talk to him.
你要去和他谈谈
Come on, Robin, you know it's the right thing to do.
拜托 罗宾 你知道该做什么的
Oh, man.
天哪
Doug was right: You are a pain in the ass.
道格说的没错 你真是个讨厌鬼
So I had a really nice time tonight.
我今晚过得非常愉快
Me, too. Yeah?
我也是 是吗
Hey, Ted, pucker up all you want, but I was here first.
嘿 泰德 准备好得手了吗 但是我先你一步哦
From this spot, I also launched an expedition
从这里出发 我还远征到达
to those two large ridges down there.
下面这两座高峰哦
Ted?
泰德
Something wrong?
有什么不对劲的吗
Hey, Doug. Are you here to see my dad?
嗨 道格 你是来看我爸爸的吗
He's taking a shower.
他在洗澡呢
Actually, I came to see you.
其实呢 我是来看你的
I wrote a poem. Do you want to hear it?
我写了一首诗 你想听听吗
Sure. Why not?
好啊 当然好啊
"To my new mommy.
致我的新妈妈
"You are pretty.
你真漂亮
"You are nice.
你真善良
And you smell like daisies. " Aw, that is so sweet.
你闻起来还像小雏菊 啊 写的真好
Even though it doesn't rhyme.
虽然一点都不押韵
Look, uh, Doug.
听着 呃 道格
There's no good way to say this, uh...
这些话没有委婉的说法
Aunt Robin didn't know what to say.
罗宾阿姨不知道说什么了
This kid has never been dumped before.
这孩子从来没有被人甩过
But then she realized...
但她突然意识到
this kid had never been dumped before.
这孩子从来没有被人甩过
She could use every cliche in the book.
书里面那些陈词滥调 她都可以拿来用了
We need to talk.
我们得谈谈
I just think, um, we both could use some space right now.
我只是觉得 我们彼此都需要一些空间
It's not you. It's me.
不是你的问题 问题在我
Look, I know this hurts, but you deserve someone better.
我知道这很痛苦 但是你值得拥有一个更好的人
I'm just really trying to focus on my career right now.
我现在只想认真对待工作
You know?
你懂吗
I just hope we can still be friends.
我真心希望我们能继续做朋友
Hi.
嗨
I'm Brooke. I'm here for my date with George.
我是布鲁克 我是来和乔治约会的
You must be the babysitter.
你一定是保姆吧
I had so much coffee earlier.
我刚才喝了太多咖啡
I need to run to the loo, but hey, Dougie.
现在急需去卫生间 嗨 小道格
What the hell was that?
那他妈是谁
That was my new mom.
她是我的新妈妈
So... this picture is not of me?
所以 这幅画 画的不是我咯
Why would I draw a picture of you? Wha...?
我为啥要画你啊 什么
How many dates has she been on with your dad?
她跟你♥爸♥爸约会过几次
Two.
两次
I've been on, like, five and you like her better?
我跟你♥爸♥爸约会过 大概五次了吧 你却更喜欢她吗
We just really connected.
我们只是特别心有灵犀
And what about me?
那我算是什么
You think I just go around pouring cereal for every boy in town?
你以为我会到处乱跑 给全城的孩子冲麦片吗
Why are you getting so upset, Roberta?
你为什么这么生气啊 罗贝塔
Robin. My name is Robin.
罗宾 我的名字是罗宾
Like the bird, remember?
跟那只鸟的名字一样 记得吗
Whatever.
随便啦
So that's it, huh?
就这样了 是吧
Look, you're great, but... Yeah.
听着 你人不错 但是... 是啊
There's always a "But. "
总是会有一个"但是"
Well, I couldn't do it. I broke up with her.
好吧 我做不到 我和她分手了
Thanks a lot, by the way. A beautiful, sexy girl
顺便谢谢你了 面对一个美丽又性感的尤物
and all I could think about was you being there first.
我满脑子想的却是你早已临幸过
You were stuck in my head like a Chumbawamba song.
你简直像雷鬼音乐一样在我脑子里挥散不去
Which Chumbawamba song?
哪一首雷鬼音乐
Well, what an interesting turn of events.
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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