老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S03E11
Part 3
Oct. 30, 2020, 3:43 p.m.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
抱歉 亲爱的
I don't want to fight tonight.
我今晚不想吵架
It's our first weekiversary.
今天可是我们一星期纪念日啊
On my suggestion, you flip it.
听我的 你轻轻弹一下
Why would you flip it? It doesn't...
为什么要弹它 它又不
Hey, Wendy, uh, do me a favor
嘿 温迪 帮个忙
and send a glass of champagne
给那边那个漂亮小妞
to that pretty young thing over there.
送杯香槟过去
What?
你说什么
Over there.
这边这个
You.
你啊
You're the pretty young thing...
你就是那个漂亮小妞
is what I meant.
我就是这意思
Champagne? Would you? On me.
香槟 好吗 我请客
Oh. Okay.
哦 好啊
Thanks, sweetie.
谢谢 亲爱的
Okay.
好的
All right.
好了
Hey, neighbors.
好啊 邻居们
We bought all the fixings for a Mexican fiesta.
我们买♥♥了墨西哥庆典需要的所有东西
Oh.
哦
Um, well, we actually have tickets...
呃 其实我们买♥♥了票...
And no fiesta would be complete without...
大庆典没了它就不完整 那是...
Dude, actually, we made other plans, so...
哥们 其实 我们已经有别的计划了 所以...
Okay. One word.
好吧 一个单词
Two syllables. Sounds like...
两个音节 听起来像
... "Parade. " Charades.
游♥行♥ 游戏 猜字游戏
Charades.
猜字游戏
What do you say?
你们意下如何啊
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
哦 不 哦 不 哦 不
which brings us to Step 6.
于是我们来到了第六步
Yeah, listen, I'm leaving.
好了 听着 我要走了
So if you want to write the rest of these down,
如果你把剩下的部分写下来的话
I will read it tomorrow.
我明天会拜读的
Don't do this, Ted.
不要这样 泰德
You want to get out of the way?
你能不把自己贴门上吗
Don't do this, Ted. All right.
不要这样 泰德 这是你逼我的
Don't.
你休想
Dude! Gah!
哥们 啊
It was perfect!
本来很完美的
You're such a jerk.
你个混♥蛋♥
Which brings us to Step 6.
于是我们来到了第六步
You finally realize you've made a huge mistake
你终于意识到你犯下的是一个巨大的错误
and now you have to live with it.
现在你得自食其果
Step 6 is called Purg... Wait for it.
第六步叫做人间...等一下
Keep waiting...
接着等...
keep waiting for all eternity
等到地老天荒方才发现
only to discover there's no escape-- atory.
其实根本无路可逃...地狱
God, I'm such an idiot.
天呐 我真是个白♥痴♥
Yeah.
没错
Curt "The Iron Man" Irons
科特•钢铁侠•爱伦
keeps leaving me love notes on Post-Its.
到处留爱的便条纸
On the teleprompter, on my desk,
提词器上面 我的桌子上面
on the coffee-maker,
咖啡机上面
on the jar of sugar packets next to the coffee-maker.
还有咖啡机旁边的糖罐上面
"Here's some sugar for my sugar. "
给我的糖糖一点小糖糖
The Iron Man.
人家可是钢铁侠啊
I remember that.
这个我记得
God, we are such idiots.
天呐 我们真是白♥痴♥
Yup. Every time we step out the door,
没错 每次我们走出家门
they're out there waiting for us.
他们都在门口等着我们
Sometimes, we'll send Ted out first as a scout.
有时候 我们派泰德先出去侦查一下
Nobody's there.
外面没人
Then we'll go out one second later, and there they are.
然后我们前脚刚出门 他们后脚就冒出来了
It's freakin' supernatural.
真的超级灵异啊
Are they ghosts? Can only we see them?
他们是鬼吗 只有我们能看到他们吗
"Hey, neighbor. " "Hey, neighbor. " "Hey, neighbor. " Ahh.
嘿 邻居 嘿 邻居 嘿 邻居 啊啊啊
Hmm, I remember that.
唔 这个我记得
How could you guys let me date Wendy the Waitress?
你们怎么能让我去把女招待温迪啊
Oh, you are kidding me. What?!
不是吧 你开的什么国际玩笑
Don't kill the bar, dude.
别毁了这间酒吧 哥们
My own bar.
我自己的酒吧
I can't hit on women in my own bar.
我在我自己的酒吧里泡不到妞
Remember the old Barney?
还记得从前的巴尼吗
He was a lion, the king of the jungle,
他从前是头雄狮 丛林之王
stalking whatever prey he chose,
跟踪他想要的猎物
going in for the kill.
伺机捕食
You've got a whole meat locker at home full of corpses, don't you?
你家该不会有个塞满了尸体的肉柜吧
Now look at me.
看看现在的我
Declawed. Neutered.
利爪已钝 金枪不举
What was once my jungle is now my zoo.
这里曾经是我的狂野森林 现在却成了驯养我的动物园
And I am forced to mate with the same old lioness
而且我还被迫和相同的老母狮子交♥配♥
again and again and again,
自始至终 终而复始
while families pay to watch.
大家还可以携家带口购票观看
Yeah, this metaphor's really falling apart.
呃 这个比喻终于开始崩坏了
Put a bell around my neck and scratch my belly, kids,
孩子们 给我脖子挂个铃铛再挠挠我的肚皮吧
for I am just a docile housecat now.
因为我现在只是一只温婉的家猫罢了
Meow.
喵呜
Well, we love this bar.
呃 我们可喜欢这间酒吧了
You can't dump her.
你要是甩不掉她
Marry her if you have to.
就干脆娶了算了
Wendy the Waitress-Hyphen-Stinson.
温迪•女招待-斯丁森
Don't kill the bar, dude.
别毁了这间酒吧 兄弟
And so, inevitably, you have to do the thing
因此 不可避免地 你不得不去做
you've been dreading all along.
你一直以来所惧怕的事
Now, a relationship-ectomy
现在 关系切除术
is a delicate surgery as it is,
是一项相当精密的外科手术
but in the case of the Platinum Rule,
但根据白金法则
it takes a very, very steady hand, and that's
其手法必须非常 非常精准 于是就到了
Step 7：Confrontation.
第七步 如实摊牌
Curt, we need to talk.
科特 我们得好好谈谈
I like you...
我喜欢你
Guys, we like you a lot...
两位 我们真的很喜欢你们
I don't like you.
我并不喜欢你
We're pretending this works, but it doesn't.
我们假装我们很好 但其实不是
And I'm getting a little sick of the whole charade.
而且我也不想再整天去猜你到底什么意思了
We're getting a little sick of charades.
我们猜字游戏有点玩腻了
I mean, I don't like you that way.
我是说 我对你不是那种喜欢
I used to like you that way.
我以前的确喜欢过你
But now that I've seen everything
但现在我已经看到了所有
there is to see, I don't know,
能看的地方了 我不知道怎么说
I kind of want to see those same parts
我有点想看看那些相同的部位
just on other girls.
只不过是别的女生身上的
So maybe, we could go back to just being coworkers.
所以也许 我们应该重新变回普通同事的关系
Maybe we should just go back to being neighbors.
也许我们应该重新变回普通邻居的关系
Other girls and you, if you're into that.
其他女孩和你 如果你也有兴趣加入的话
But the other girls have to be there, too.
但是其他女孩一定也要在场
That's the important part.
那才是重点
Gosh, you're just terrified
天哪 你只是害怕
of ever getting close to anyone, aren't you?
会和别人走得太近 是吧
Or that. Let's say it's that.
那样也行 就当是那样吧
So can I get a gin and tonic?
我能来杯金汤力吗
And in any other relationship,
如果这就只是平常恋爱交往的话
that would be it.
那也差不多到头了
End of story.
故事画上句号♥
But because you have to see this person again,
但因为你会再次与她狭路相逢
there's a Step 8: Fallout.
所以还会有第八步 心有余悸
And now, here's
接下来是
Curt "The Iron Man" Irons with sports.
科特•钢铁侠•爱伦带来的体育报道
Curt?
科特
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
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