老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S03E17
Part 2
Oct. 30, 2020, 3:44 p.m.
Why are you upset?
你郁闷什么呢
Marshall, I'm about to tell you a secret
马修 我接下来要跟你说的秘密
That you can't tell anyone-- not Ted,
你不能告诉任何人 泰德也不行
Not Robin, not Lily.
罗宾也不行 莉莉也不行
No. No, no, no, I don't want any more secrets,
不要不要不要 我不想知道什么秘密
Especially now that I know what you guys did
尤其是现在我知道你们在里斯本
To the drinking water in Lisbon. I...
对那些饮用水做的事之后
You are hearing this secret, Marshall.
这个秘密你听定了 马修
I... I slept...
我...我睡了...
Stop.. stop doing that.
停...别这样啊
I slept...
我睡了...
I slept with Robin.
我睡了罗宾
You slept with Robin?
你睡了罗宾
Are you mad at me?
你生我的气吗
I don't know.
我不知道
How's the hot dog?
热狗如何
It's helping.
有点用
You slept with Robin?!
你睡了罗宾
I... I cannot keep that secret.
我可守不住这个秘密啊
I mean, you know
我是说 你知道吧
I at least have to tell Lily.
我至少得告诉莉莉啊
You can't. You can't tell anyone.
不行 你谁也不能说
Attorney-client privilege.
律师要对客户信息保密的
Why are you doing this to me?!
你为什么要这么对我
Because I need you, Marshall, as my lawyer,
因为马修 作为我的律师 我需要你来证明
to prove that I didn't do anying wrong.
我没有做错任何事
How can I help you as your lawyer?
我该怎么作为律师来帮你啊
You didn't break any laws, did you?
你又没犯法 是吧
Robin knows you slept with her, doesn't she?
罗宾是知道你搞她的 对吧
I didn't break any state or federal laws,
我哪条联邦法州法都没犯
but I think I broke a much, much higher law.
但是我认为自己触犯了一部更崇高的法律
The Bro Code.
《兄弟法则》
For many years,
多年来
we had heard Barney quote the Bro Code,
我们都听过巴尼引用《兄弟法则》
a list of do's and don'ts for all bros.
该法则规定了一切兄弟该做和不该做的事
Some were basic.
有一些很基本
Bro Code article one:"Bros before hoes.
兄弟法则第一条"兄弟如手足 女人如衣服"
Some were unbelievably complicated.
一些复杂得不可思议
Bro Code article 89:
兄弟法则第89条
"The mom of a bro is always off limits,
"兄弟的母亲是永远禁止入内的
"But the stepmom of a bro is fair game if she initiates it,
但是后妈就另当别论了 如果是对方先挑逗
"And/or is wearing at least one a article
而且/或者穿着至少一件
of leopard print clothing. "
带豹纹的衣服"
And some were just plain disturbing.
有一些纯粹就是招人烦的了
Bro Code article 34:
兄弟法则第34条
"Bros cannot make eye contact during a devil's three-way. "
"魔鬼三人行中兄弟俩不能有眼神接触"
Two dudes.
二王一后
This is not a legal docume..
这又不是什么法律条文
This is just something you wrote.
不过是你瞎写的东西而已
You think I wrote that?
你以为是我写的吗
Oh, Marshall,
哦 小马哥啊
don't you know the glorious history of the Bro Code?
你不知道《兄弟法则》的光辉历史吗
The year was 1776.
时间 1776年
The place, Philadelphia.
地点 费城
Benjamin Franklin and George Washington were hanging a drink.
本杰明•富兰克林正和乔治•华盛顿一起喝酒
But, bro, seriously,
但是 兄弟 说真的
I called the dibs on that wench.
那娘们可是我先定了的啊
You codpiece blocked me.
就你丫跟兜裆布似的挡到我了
So what if I did?
那又怎样
There's no rule against it.
又没规定说不可以
Well, there should be.
应该有这种规定的
There should be a set of rules that govern
应该有一些规定来阐释
the way bros comport themselves among other bros.
身为兄弟的举止应当如何
But who shall write such a document?
但是谁来起草这东西呢
I have to go to Me, D.C., and pose for the dollar bill.
我还得去本人特区给一美元钞票拍造型照呢
And I have to do some kite-flying or something.
我还得去放放风筝什么的
I shall write this set of rules.
让我来起草吧
And I shall inscribe it on theacack of the Constitution.
我会将它题写在宪法的背面
To save paper.
以节约用纸
It's resolved!
就这么定了
Barnabas Stinson shall write...
就由巴纳巴斯•斯丁森来起草
the Bro Code.
《兄弟法则》
And I shall include a provision
我将同时规定
that state that no eye contact in a devil's three-way.
魔鬼三人行中弟兄俩不能有眼神接触
Seconded. Seconded.
附议 附议
Listen, what do you want me for?
我说 你要我怎样
I've just been losing my mind lately,
我最近真是要疯掉了
and do you know why I feel so bad?
你知道我为什么感觉这么糟吗
Yeah, because you slept with Robin.
是啊 因为你睡了罗宾
No, that was awesome.
不啊 那倒爽得要死
I feel bad
我感觉糟糕
because the Bro Code clearly states
是因为《兄弟法则》明确阐述
"No sex with your bro's ex. "
"兄弟前欢不可干"
But if you,
但如果你
my lawyer, can find a loophole somewhere,
我的大律师 能够找到其中的漏洞的话
then that bad feeling will go bye-bye.
我就能跟这糟糕的感觉说拜拜了
And you would pay me for that?
这样你就能付我工资了吗
No, I'll just be the one shredding your paperwork.
不 我只是碎掉你文件的人
Technically, you'll be paid by a toy factory in Pyongyang.
严格来说 你的工资是平壤某个玩具厂付的
Barney, I'm no shrink, okay,
巴尼 虽然我不是心理医生
but don't you see that this is just a desperate way for you
但你所做的不就是那种
to avoid an unpleasant confrontation with Ted?
想要避免和泰德当面对质的绝望行径么
Hey, if I wanted a psychological evaluation,
嘿 我想要心理评估的话
I'd hire the guy we pay
我就去找那个我们付钱
to hypnotize us before depositions.
在我们上法庭宣誓作证之前催眠我们的人了
Now, get cracking!
快去找吧
While Marshall examined the Bro Code,
马修正研究着《兄弟法则》的时候
Lily's kindergarten class welcomed a special guest.
莉莉幼儿园班上迎来了一位特殊的客人
And with a little luck, in a few days,
运气好一点的话 用不了几天
Farmer Frank's cold will be all gone.
弗兰克农夫的感冒就会好啦
And that's why Farmer Frank's breath smells like medicine.
所以现在他的呼吸闻起来有股药的味道
Right, Farmer Frank?
是吧 弗兰克农夫
You got it, toots.
就是这样的 亲爱的
Any last questions for Farmer Frank? Yes.
现在谁要问弗兰克农夫最后一个问题
Will we ever go to see Missy the Goat again?
我们还会再见到山羊小姐吗
Oh! Ah, isn't that sweet!
啊 真的是好可爱啊
Well, you know, honey,
这个吧 告诉你吧 亲爱的
right after this,
这事完了之后
I'm gonna drop old Missy off at the butcher shop.
我就把这位老小姐送去屠宰场
And they're going to take a great big knife...
他们会用一把大长刀
And Frank went on to traumatize Lily's entire class
弗兰克继续荼毒着莉莉班上孩子们的童年
with a graphic explanation of where meat comes from..
栩栩如生地讲解着肉是从哪儿来的
So not one little scrap of Missy goes to waste.
所以山羊小姐身上不会有一小块被浪费掉
Ms. Aldrin, please don't let them eat Missy.
艾尔德林老师 求求你不要让他们吃掉山羊小姐
I know, I know.
我了解 我懂的
I already called an animal rescue,
我已经给动物救护中心打了电♥话♥
and they're going to come get her on Monday.
他们周一就来接它
Monday?! Where's she going to sleep and eat
周一才来 那它要在哪儿睡哪儿吃
and go to the bathroom?!
去哪儿解决排泄问题
Okay, where's she going to sleep and eat?
好吧 它要在哪儿睡哪儿吃
I-I guess I'll keep her up on the roof.
我 我想我把她养在屋顶吧
Look, call me crazy. I just...
听着 就当我疯了吧 我只是...
I don't think having a goat in the apartment is a good idea.
我觉得在公♥寓♥里养只山羊不是什么好主意
And, boy, was I right, because what Missy the Goat
孩子们啊 我真说得对啊 后来山羊小姐
would go on to do in that bathroom was so...
在浴室里做的事简直是太...
No, you know what?
算了 还是算了
I'm m getting ahead of myself.
我扯太远了
We'll get there.
以后会讲到的
Hey, Ted.
嘿 泰德
You ready to, um...
准备好要...
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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