老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S04E19
Part 2
Oct. 30, 2020, 3:36 p.m.
All right, I'm off to go do laundry at Mom's house.
好了 我去我妈家洗衣服去了
Hey, you guys mind if I crash on your futon tonight?
你们不介意我借你们家的蒲团过一夜吧
We don't have a futon. Put it over there, boys.
我们家可没蒲团 就放那里吧 伙计们
What's going on? It's on the Murtaugh list.
这是怎么了 这是莫塔清单上的一条
"Crash on a friend's futon instead of getting a hotel room. "
在你朋友家的蒲团上过夜而不去住酒店
I am too old for that stuff.
我已经过了这个年纪了
Dude, what's going on with your ear?
兄弟 你的耳朵怎么了
It looks like the inside of a jack-o'-lantern on November 3rd.
它看上去是的11月3日 南瓜灯里已经烂掉的瓤
What, this? Just a little infectsh.
什么 这个啊 只是有点感染啦
Nothing a young guy like me can't shake off.
没什么事情是我们年轻人搞不定
Plus, "Put off going to the doctor," On the list.
还有 单子上的"不看医生"也顺便给搞定了
Oh. Hold on.
稍等一下
Go for Barrr...
这是巴...
Keep running!
继续跑
You know what's funny is
有意思的地方是
I was supposed to come here to teach them...
我本来是想要教他们
Do not stop running!
不准停下来
This whole time, they've been the ones who are teaching me. Hey!
但这段时间 他们同时教会了我许多 喂
That's not running! That's falling!
那不是跑步 是自♥由♥落体
The next morning, Barney woke up on the futon in our living room.
第二天 巴尼从我们客厅的蒲团上醒过来
Check.
搞定
"Drinking shots with strangers. " Check.
和陌生人喝酒 搞定
You okay, Barney? It looks like you hurt your back.
你还好吧 巴尼 看上去你扭着背了
Oh, no. Just rocking a party hunch. I like it.
才不是 习惯了在派对上的搭讪姿势罢了 我喜欢这样
Closer to my booze. To youth.
可以离我的酒近一些 敬青春
Can I get a straw?
给我根吸管好吗
I must say, there is something admirable
我得说 巴尼让自己的心
about the way Barney wants to stay young at heart.
永葆青春的方式真是叹为观止
I mean, who wants to get old? This guy.
我是说 谁会想要变老呢 正是在下
Robin, life is a meal and old age is the dessert.
罗宾 如果一生是一顿正餐 那老年就是饭后的甜点
I spend so much of my time worrying about the future.
在我的一生中 我花了那么多时间来忧虑我的未来
You know, "Where's my career going? Who am I gonna marry?"
比如说我的职业该如何规划 我又会与谁步入婚姻殿堂
But when you're old, you don't worry,
但当你老了的时候 这些都不再是烦恼了
'cause all that stuff's already happened.
因为所有事情都已经实现了
Plus, you get to wear comfy shoes,
另外 你会穿上舒适的鞋子
and a chair takes you up and down the stairs. It's perfect.
坐着轮椅上下楼 一切都很完美
That's not perfect. That's pathetic.
那不叫完美 那叫可悲
You can't just jump to the end.
你不能直接跳到结尾去
The journey is the best part.
过程才是最美妙的
Oh, Robin, I used to feel that way, too,
噢 罗宾 我以前也那么想的
but you'll understand when you're a little bit older.
等你长大了就会明白啦
Marshall, can you try not to pick on the kids today?
马修 你能不那么针对孩子们吗
I'm not picking on the kids, Lily.
我针对的不是孩子们 莉莉
I'm picking on the culture of losing around here.
我针对的是这里懒散的氛围
I got to get them in shape
如果他们要赢得明天的比赛
if they're gonna win that game tomorrow.
就得让他们进入状态
Win? We don't keep score.
赢什么 我们都不记比分的
What? We don't keep score.
什么 我们不记分的
You don't keep...
你们不记...
What's the point of playing
如果你不记分
if you don't keep score? How do you know...
那打球还有什么意义 你怎么知道...
Lily, what were you doing with this team before I got here?
莉莉 我接手之前你都干了些什么
I was coaching them.
指导他们啊
Whee!
哟
That's it, my little angels.
就是那样 我的小天使们
You're all luminous, wonderful beings of light.
你们都是闪亮而美好的小精灵
What's the score? It's all tied up at fun to fun!
比分多少了 开心比开心 打了平手
Because that's the point of playing, to have fun.
因为那才是打球的意义 开心至上
No. The point of playing is to win the trophy.
不对 打球的意义是赢得奖杯
And if you don't know who's winning, who gets the trophy?
假如你不知道谁赢 谁来拿这个奖杯
Everyone. It's a participation trophy. Everyone gets one.
大家啊 这是参与奖 每个人都有份
It's like you're speaking Chinese to me right now.
你现在好像在跟我讲中国话一样
Hi, this is Barney. And Robin.
你好 我是巴尼 还有罗宾
We can't answer the phone right now because...
我们现在不能接电♥话♥因为...
He's watching sports and I'm...
他在看比赛 而我...
Probably out shopping.
应该出去购物了
Uh-oh!
啊欧
Leave a message and we'll call you back just as soon...
留言后 我们会尽快给你...
As... We...
回... 电...
Can! Can!
话 话
"Leave an annoying two-person
"在你的答录机上留一个
message on your answering machine. " Check.
烦人的双人留言" 搞定
Probably gonna cost me some dates, but it's okay.
这么做可能会黄了我不少约会 不过没事啦
Barney, your ear's starting to smell. No, it's good.
巴尼 你耳朵开始发臭了 没有 我很好
I hate to send it back,
虽然我很讨厌退回来
but you did describe the turkey as extremely lean,
但你所描述的火鸡是全瘦肉的
and, well, you tell me.
呃 你自己看看
All right. That's it.
好了 就这样
We have our own list. What?
我们列了个清单 什么
This is a list of things you're too young to do.
这是一张你上年纪了才能做到的事情清单
Go out and do each one of these things
去把单子上的每件事都完成
and then tell me you still want to be an old man.
再来告诉我你还想当老人
Hmm.
唔
Remove "Colonoscopy" And "Have sex with an old lady,"
去掉"结肠镜检查"和"跟老太太上♥床♥"
and this is a cakewalk.
都是小菜一碟
New stakes, then.
新赌注
If I can finish your list before you finish mine,
如果我比你先完成这张清单
you have to come with me to TP laser tag,
你就必须跟我去激光枪室挂满厕纸
and you have to buy the toilet paper.
还有你得去买♥♥厕纸
And none of that biodegradable crap. I want it up there forever.
要不可生物降解的 我想让它永远挂在那
Fine, but if I finish your list first,
好啊 要是我先完成了呢
it's a six-hour survey
你就要听六个小时的
of early 20th-century American architecture,
20世纪早期美式建筑学
and you can never do anything on the Murtaugh list ever again.
而且 你再也别想做任何一件莫塔清单上的事
It's for your own good. You, sir, have got yourself a deal.
这是为了你好 交易达成
A gentlemen's agreement!
君子一言
Huzzah! Huzzah!
驷马难追 驷马难追
Marshall, they're in kindergarten.
马修 他们只是幼儿园的孩子
This isn't how you teach basketball.
你不能这样教打球
Sure it is. It's the way I learned. Are you kidding me?
当然可以 我的亲身体验 骗鬼呢
What kind of sociopath taught you this way?
哪有神经病会这么做
Come on, Dad. I'm tired. Sleep is for winners.
拜托 老爸 我累死了 赢家才有资格睡觉
You can go to bed when you score a basket.
进了球你才能去睡觉
I'm trying. Let's give you two points for trying.
我在努力 那给你两分奖励你的努力
But negative two points for having a great big head.
但是由于你没脑子要扣掉两分
My father gave me no quarter, and I asked for no quarter.
我爸爸没让我过休息一分钟 我也没要求休息
I totally gotta call that guy.
我确实应该要求一下的
Keep stretching!
继续做拉伸
"Put on reading glasses. " Check.
"戴老花镜" 完成
"Yell at neighborhood kids. " My pleasure.
"对附近的小孩发飙" 正合我意
Hey. Hey.
嘿 嘿
What the hell happened to you? Oh, I just had a very minor
你怎么搞成这样了 哦 我只是经历了一个
blew-out-my-knee-and-it-hurts-like-hell incident.
弄伤了膝盖却疼得要人命的小事故
How'd you blow out your knee?
你是怎么弄伤膝盖的
We "Helped someone move out of a sixth-floor walk-up
我们帮别人搬出没有电梯的六楼公♥寓♥
"In exchange for pizza and beer. "
换来披萨和啤酒
Or we helped someone rob a sixth-floor walk-up.
也有可能我们帮别人抢劫了一个没有电梯的六楼公♥寓♥
They were in a big hurry and left all the pictures behind.
他们走得太急 照片全都没拿
Whatevs. It counts.
管他呢 那也算
Now I am off to "Dye my hair a funny color,"
现在我要去把头发染个搞笑的颜色
and then we are going to "Go to a rave. " Mmmhmm.
然后我们要去纵情狂欢 嗯哼
Oh 4:00! Supper time.
哦 四点了 该吃晚饭啦
Okay. So, your dad was tough on you.
好吧 就算你父亲对你很严厉
That stinks, but you don't have to be like him.
那也不是件好事 你也没必要跟他一样啊
You can learn from his mistakes.
你可以从他的错误中吸取教训
Mistakes? Lily, scoreboard.
错误吗 莉莉 效果近在你眼前
The guy nailed it, okay? He taught me how to be a winner.
他成功了 好吗 他教会我怎么去做一个胜利者
That's what I'm teaching these kids. And, for that matter,
这也是我要教给这些孩子们的 还有 既然说到这了
that's what I'm gonna teach our kids someday.
这也是我将来要教给我们的孩子的
Okay, that's it. This is not how we're gonna raise our kids!
够了 到此为止 我绝不会让你这么抚养我们的孩子
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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